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FFS .. what do you think of this

45 replies

Twiglett · 05/03/2006 16:47

\link{http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2104-2056666,00.html\mindless drivel in the Sunday Times}

Its written by some bloke and is about why his marriage broke down .. beautifully apportioning the blame for his endless affairs ...

OP posts:
notasheep · 05/03/2006 22:26

Dont believe ANYTHING you read in ANY Newspaper

VeniVidiVickiQV · 05/03/2006 22:27

"a framework of how not to behave"?

WTF?

Bill, Bill Banker Twiglett Grin

Socci · 05/03/2006 22:28

OMG - I was going to post that link too - agree completely Twiglett. Can't believe The Times would entertain such pathetic, self-absorbed self-pity!

quanglewangle · 05/03/2006 22:35

Self-centred waste of space.

If her life had changed and his life was "still fun" why not redress the balance a bit? No wonder she got resentful. He recognises her anger but is incapable of acknowleging any responsibiltity for it.

If his life was "stll fun" why the need to sleep around? Some people want everything. Cake and eat it.

Not sure about the refusing to talk about it though. Taken at face value that could have been incredibly frustrating for him, especially if he wanted to improve their relationship. But if the tone of the article is anything to go on it could have been a very one-sided discussion, more like a hectoring. I know there are some things I should discuss with dh but it is pointless as it always ends up with his views taking the high ground. I wonder if his wife found the same.

ChicPea · 05/03/2006 23:24

I disagree.

I have heard this sentiment before from various men (friends of DH's) whose wives once they have children don't or can't be bothered to think about their husband's needs. And you can all blast me if you like, I am not saying that he is right or wrong, nor the wife for that matter, but the husband still needs his fix, it is a basic physical need, and if he is not getting the attention at home, an opportunity can arise elsewhere. FACT. Why do women bat their eyelids and smile during the courtship, once married with children completely change? Yes it gets boring, etc, but the love and excitement needs to be kept alive.

A very honest article whether it is genuine or not, I don't know, but alot of men feel this way and no, they don't grow up EVER!

notasheep · 05/03/2006 23:30

Dp moaned today that i never give him blow jobs anymore-and I had just read the article

bobbybobbobbingalong · 06/03/2006 00:36

"You would think my friends might have understood the situation, but a lot of them liked Renée and disapproved of my behaviour."

Amazing!

getbakainyourjimjams · 06/03/2006 02:29

"She gained weight around the time of the children being born, which is okay, but she didn’t make any effort to lose it."

Oh it's okay to gain weight if you have 2 children? But by god you'd better lose it. What a charmer. finished the article feeling sorry for the second wife.

FairyMum · 06/03/2006 07:13

I think the ST is full of this shit at the moment. I used to quite like Style magazine. Thinking of switching Sunday paper. Any idea? I would miss Inida Knight of course.....

ruty · 06/03/2006 08:52

remeber that similar article in the saturday guardian a couple of months back? Do the publishers really think they are finding a revelatory new voice rather than just a sad old git who's ego needs massaging constantly?

satine · 06/03/2006 08:56

But his wife wouldn't have sex with him for 5 years, so their marriage wasn't exactly a rosy one. I agree that his defence of his behaviour is typically male and I'm sure he was a nightmare of a husband, but there are always two sides.

monkeytrousers · 06/03/2006 08:56

Don't get any of them FM. Just read the Mumsnet sundays Grin

tallequineinafedora · 06/03/2006 15:13

mn didn;t let me down then! I saw this and knew it would be on here...was instantly recognisable from the thread title Grin. Two things about this really got my back up - one is that in his description of his contribution to looking after the baby he "helped". That one little word says so much. None of it was his responsibility - every bit of it was down to his wife and anything he did was "helping". Words fail me. The other was the reference to her having not lost weight gained during pregnancy Shock. Apparently it was "fair enough" for her to have gained it but clearly bang out of order not to make the effort of loosing it. [hat (for it is she) screams loudly]. And then (ok, that's 3 things) the fact that he expected his friends to understand when he was blatantly having affairs. and then there's the fact that he even wrote this drivel for publication. Did anyone see the similar article a few weeks ago in the Guardian? Is this a new trend? unreconstructed men coming out of the closet to reveal their total lack of respect for women and children?

tallequineinafedora · 06/03/2006 15:17

I'm not suprised she wouldn't have sex with him. (doing my usually trick - respoding in two parts) I think most people would freeze someone out who thought that having a baby had no impact on his life (he still went out, played and watched rugby, travelled for work) apart from having a wife a few pounds heavier than before. He says that she resented the fact that the baby had had little impact on him. yet he couldn;t see that there was an obvious way of addressing that.

tallequineinafedora · 06/03/2006 15:22

ok part three then I promise I'll shut up - Chicpea - the point is that the needs in a relationship flow two way. Yes he wasn't getting his end away but what he failed to see was that he was failing - miserably - in meeting her needs - which, presumably played no small part i his lack of nooky. He took no blame or responsibility for the situation at all just heaped approprium and blame on his wife.

JennyLee · 06/03/2006 15:52

If my husband treated me like angry shit and flinched when I touched him I would leave, it is so humiliating to be turned down for sex for 5 years I would imaghine.

she made him feel disgusting and he did not try hard enough with her either, they are better off separate

JennyLee · 06/03/2006 15:53

my dh was also temporarily an ass when ds was born , but i got angry and told him so! i would not withold sex (like it too much)

monkeytrousers · 06/03/2006 16:06

I agree tallequineinafedora, with all 3 of your posts! Grin

Kathy1972 · 06/03/2006 16:12

Shock at this article.
At first I thought he seemed like such an a**hole that I wondered if this was in fact all made up.... by a woman writing a sort of parody of what an idiot man not taking any responsibility would sound like. Sadly though I think it probably is real. Thanks for posting, Twiglett.

Orinoco · 06/03/2006 22:29

Sensible woman Grin

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