Would you be upset if it happened to you?

[Earlybird]

Read in the paper today that Robin Cook left an estate worth approx £565,000. His second wife Gaynor is to receive over £500,000 and his two sons (by first wife) are to receive £20,000 each. Both sons are in their early 30's.

Does that seem fair? How would you feel if you were one of his sons?

would get

Bink, your ds is v wise .

Yes I've always thought that was unfair CM.

Did Robin Cook leave any money to charity? (Just out of morbid interest)

It's entirely possible that all the Cooks discussed the situation, knew what was going to happen, and were perfectly happy with it. His ex-wife has spoken of how close he was and remained to his sons. It's a bit of a nerve of any of us to make big assumptions about their relationship on the basis of a couple of headline facts.

I donb't think it was family money (his father was a teacher, I believe) so frankly he can leave it however he wants.

Also I'd be wary of that breakdown. The bulk of most people's estate is their home, and if my kids were 30something and self supporting, I'd leave the home to my wife as a matter of course, she's older, and it strikes me as cruel to do otherwise.

You can do "clever" things like leave her with the right to live there for the rest of her life, but then going to the kids.
I might do that, but Mr. Cook was a life long socialist, and that body of law mostly came into existence so that rich people could screw around with the lives of their descendants. As such he may have rejected it.

As for the ethics, I'm responsible for the care and education of my kids. But assuming they grow up into functional adults I feel no obligation to leave them lump of unearned money.
In this I suspect Mr. Cook & I are closer in political views. I am not a great fan of inherited wealth. If my kids were disabled, or sick then it would be a different thing. Maybe if they had devoted their live to some good, but badly paying cause, then I'd support it that way.

Also it's not my money. It's ours. A good % of our money has come from my wife, and when we were married by a retired officer from the Gurkha I recall pledging my worldy goods to her. That included the house.

Ah but what happens if a year after you die, one of your kids becomes disabled and you've gone and left it all to the cats home?

I wonder what Tony Benn will do?

tbh I wasn't particularly thinking or judging him more reflecting as a situation which might happen to anyone..like me as I have a second partner and no will

I would expext my stepmother to iherit the vast majority of my dads estate as she (probably) will have spent a lot of her life wuth him.
My mum received a sum when they divorced.

In the same way, if DH dies before me, I would hope that no one would bregrudge me our home, and part of our savings. Yes, his other 2 will be provided for, as will the 2 we have together, but I will have shared his life for a lot of years (touch wood) and wouldn't want to be left with nothing.

Well, it's also possible that RC thought that his sons would not only inherit from him, but will also possibly inherit from their mum. But, hasn't she also remarried?

We've been disinherited by MIL. DH wouldn't abandon FIL when he left her (agree he was wrong to have affair but A) not our place to judge, B) They hadn't had sex or even a civil conversation for 12 years and B) his father, he loves him. Anyway, although we are still theoretically in contact with her the entire estate has been left to BIL, writing off both the portions that were for my DH (half the house, all the family photos etc) and and our children. If bil dies it goes to a distant friend, anyone but us and the kids.

Makes me angry in that she knows how ill Dh has been over the last few years and how skint that has left us, but basically it sums up her attitude to anyone that gets in her way.

FIL has made some provision for boys but she has taken him for every penny so not much. We also get some of house I suspect but only after his Fiancee has lived in it, and she is 15 years his junior. I suspect will be shared between our kids and her nephews.

FWIW feel abd for Dh but we both agree that if she wants to do that, fine whatever. Don't like the kids being punished though, makes me , esp. as ds1 has sn and we have no house (or much hope realistically, though we try) of getting one to leave him.

that sounds hard, peachy - hope the worst of your predictions are not all correct.

It's an interesting idea, this family money passing down through the generations thing. I think, if you have inherited a lot of wealth and property - more than you'd ever need in one lifetime - it is a bit selfish to decide it's all yours to do with as you like. That's not to say you should keep it all in the family - if you decide that charities should benefit, fair enough.

My husband's mother came from an old and wealthy family. The family money - properties here and abroad, businesses, jewellery, antiques etc all ended up with his grandmother. She spent the lot during her lifetime and that was some feat!

She certainly lived the high life - ran with a very wild crowd. As her cash flow dried up in one country she moved on to the next. Towards the end of her life, when the all money ran out and the debtors started appearing, she was bailed out by my husband's parents when they were having a hard time themselves.

I think it really affected my husband's parents, who started with nothing and had to work very hard for a living. They are now comfortably off, but very prudent and have a horror of squandering cash. I know my MIL feels bitter about the amount of money wasted, and knows what my husband's inheritance (and life) would have been like if nanny hadn't got her teeth into it first.

Ah but what happens if a year after you die, one of your kids becomes disabled and you've gone and left it all to the cats home?

Good question, don't know.

We've been trying to work out things of that form for a while. Problem is that there are so many possible combinations. What if one of my sons later had a disabled child, but I'd left it 50/50 with the one who had decided to blow it on loose living ?
What if one became a drug addict and half the value of the house was enough for him to die in an expensive way ?
I don't know the relationship between the 2nd Mrs. Cook and his kids from the first marriage, but if he left the money to them, what if she developed a long term illness like Alzheimer's ?

My kids are 2 & 5, and thus cannot own property (but can own cash or shares), this will change. If you're going to try and deal with changes you're going to need to regularly update it. Most people can't face up to that, and there's no guarantee any plan will be fore the best.
How you die can seriously affect what you leave.
Mr. Cook died unexpectedly and quite young, and thus the 40K he gave to his kids was a small %, but if his wife had to sell the house to fund long term care, it might be 100% of his estate.

My mum died August 2004. She didnt have a will but Dad obviously got everything. Dad gave me and my brother £1000 each.

When Dad dies, me and my brother will share everything.

With my Aunt and Uncle - they have no children together, but my uncle has 3 from a previous relationship. It is in their wills that whoever goes first, the other gets everything, and when the last one goes, me and my brother get 25% each and the remaining 50% will be shared between my uncle's 3 grown up children.

Maybe RC's children will inherit what is left when his wife dies?!

No I wouldnt be upset
I have 4 children from prev
dh has 2 children from prev
we have 2 children together
speaking from the other side of the coin why should I do without if and when my dh's dies.
why should my dh do without if I die.
Why should our money and home be shared between children, when it has been us that have struggled to get what we have.

If you die and don't make a will or leave your estate to your partner who is not the parent of your children, those children will not see a penny when the partner dies. Stepchildren don't automatically inherit from a step-parent. So your estate will to your partner's next of kin unless step-parent makes a will leaving it to them. Desperately unfair IMO.

Edam, you can arrange your will in such a way that the spouse gets the benefit of your estate until their death under a trust, and it then passes to your children (or whoever) rather than becoming part of the spouse's estate.

It is a bit more faffy to set up and administer, but clearly worth it.

i think i'd be pissed off, but then on the other hand all the money in the world won't bring him back. i sometimed feel in these circumstances people get too greedy and then you get trouble in the family with people out for what they can get

Edam - a good solicitor would be able to draft a will giving the stepparent or second wife a life interest only in the property. They have the right to live in and sell the property, but the moneys from the estate on the second death go back to the original will for probate. If that makes sense. DH deals with stuff like this all the time and they are easily arranged on the whole now.

Dh's dad has remarried and his second wife will inherit everything (I think in the region of 4 million?) other than the 20,000 he has put in his will for dh (only child). I think dh was upset at first and although we see them occasionally and play at happy families we all know that we don't share the same values and they don't get on particularly well.