Is the 6 month guideline to breastfeed unrealistic?

[GodisaDj]

Have just read this

I know it's the Daily Fail but it's irritated me.

I personally don't feel the target of 6 months is unrealistic, am I in the minority?

(hope the link works as it looks like it opens an old article about bf babies being less settled, but did open the right one for me)

"Every time my daughter was weighed the HV asked how my feeding was going and reminded me of the helplines available. I attended NHS breast feeding classes prior to the birth which highlighted the help available, including a weekly baby group for breast feeding moms."

Not in our area / not my experience.

I think that maybe people in areas where things are different can assume that things are like that everywhere. The sad fact is that women everywhere are trying but in some areas they are supported / signposted better than others.

There is loads of stuff I have learnt on here which I never heard of
Claires diary (is it claire? anyway never heard of it before MN)
Info about BF and stuff in ante-natal pack
2 year checks
HV coming to your home more than once
Domino thingy
etc etc etc

!!

So please don't think badly of women for not "seeking out info" or whatever it might be - in some areas the numbers are not given out and the information is not given and the support is not there. That is what needs improving IMO.

Like someone else said, it is harder to give up at 6 months than to continue. I chose to take th easy road and as a result I have been breastfeeding for 6 flipping years. My older child stopped a few months after his little brother was born, and my youngest will be 3 next month. It has been the cause of many lazy mornings in bed, and I praise the day Tik Tok helped me through those tough first weeks - she was far more support than anyone in RL. I had a different name then.

I don't think 6 months is unrealistic, but I do find it misleading. I remember when I first found out about its actually that you had to stop at 6 months. I really was utterly clueless.

Sorry if my last post sounded like I was bashing people for not looking for help - that isnt what I was trying to say. Obviously, as with all health matters, experiences vary from person to person and area to area. Support is important and I was lucky to have it there - I suffered with mastitis at about 6 weeks so needed a little extra support.
I know of women who had babies about the same time as me/ live in the same area as me (friends of mine, that I'm not judging!) who either didn't breast feed or didn't do it for long. So, what i was trying to say was that from my experience, when women have access the same services, as my friends did, other factors must influence if/how long you breastfeed.

you know whats so sad?
my kids are 20, 18, 16, and 13.
and the crappy advice from all medical proffessionals has not changed in all that time.

I fed all my 4 kids for years, and with my first, one of the midwives on the ward laughed at the way i tried to feed my son, trying to get comfy with massive repair work from a forceps birth.
got home, and Hv advice, esp as baby was born a big weight, was with every ? i asked regarding help breastfeeding was met with top up feeds.
I had trouble with learning how to latch, and did get sore, used nipple sheilds until they healed and ditched them. months later at clinic HV assumed he was formula fed as that was her standard advice. I didnt bother to correct her, she didnt give a flying fig.

2nd baby, was very big, and i knew what i was doing and fed him, one midwife sat on my bed next to me while i fed, and said sadly that she had never managed to feed her three children. I felt that i ended up counselling her with the ongoing conov i had with her, as least she was the only midwife that was a parent at some point.
when he was 3 months old, i took him to be weighed and one HV took one look at him and asked how much formula i was feeding him as he was a very big baby! Her first ? should of been what was his birth weight, and not assume that he was obese.

3rd baby, good latch, healthy when born. very poor weight gain, with feeding working well. was under pressure to give forumla. infant always under weight,severe ezcema, and linking health problem not fully discovered until 12 months. encouraged to try solids early, formula etc. weighed him at clinic no one ever commented that he was underweight, which he clearly was, just assumed he was a lean breastfed infant ( again this poor training in breastfeeding means they dont recognise a infant in poor health.)
flash forward,(long , long painful journey) I become local expert in range of conditions and health visitors give my contact details to support other mothers in community with ezcema /sleep problems.

4th had mastitus, cleared up with antibiotics, no problems , found it easy.

I did some research before i had my first, only decided to try breastfeeding because i calulated the cost of bottles formula during first year compared to my free milk! ( went back to work early,part time and was able to jiggle the feeds)

I sat in weigh in clinics listening to HV give crap advice on breastfeeding, and formula , distroying the confidence in mothers.
dont get me wrong its a difficult job, but bloody hell, support had little meaning for some HVs.

other crap meaningless comments over my 10 yrs preggers or breastfeeding, was ,
'hes too big for you too feed'
'you cant go on feeding him as he is soooo big, you will get ill'
'hes not gaining weight, your milk has been watered down by your first big babies'
'you've got to stop feeding your milk, he needs more calories get some formula down him'
'its disgusting to feed him behond 3 months'
'when ARE you going to stop'?
'when did you stop'? ( i didnt.)
'you cant feed a baby when they have teeth.'
'itsnt it only for your comfort'
isnt it only for his/her comfort'

my advice?
ignore , ignore , ignore. fed your kids, and love them. formula or breast. love my dears is still the best food we can give our babies.

It's not appealing to a lot of women for various reasons.

You'd either have to do it in front of people or isolate yourself in your home most of the time. Many people wouldn't be comfortable with doing it in front of others and no amount of campaigns will change their mind.

You can't hand the baby off to your partner/mother/friend so you can get a much needed long sleep unless you can express well.

It's painful.

For some women it would involve exposing their babies to potentially dangerous medications or having to avoid necessary medical treatment.

And some babies just refuse the boob from day one.

Formula has saved many a new mothers sanity as well as babies lives.

with my 1st 2 i think the target of 6 months was totally unachievable in my eyes. my 1st i bf him for a month but i dont think it was ever properly "established" during that time as it was really dificult even getting him to latch on, the whole thing was really stressful then he just refused to feed and i could not get it sorted out. i did not really know where to go for support, so even though i had the intention of feeding for the 6 months target, or more - realistically i just found it a nightmare and gave up.
2nd one i think because of previous experience i didnt want to get my hopes up too much and just started combining from early on, even though it was going a bit better that time around.
3rd one i was a bit apprehensive whether or not i would be able to stick with it or not cos of the previous times but got it established really quickly and then the 6 months just flew by and still bf him.
so i would say once its established then 6 months target is not unrealistic at all but new mothers especially 1st time mums, need to have access to the support to know where to get help. i know there is quite a lot of help around but if you just dont know where to go for it, then the time runs out and its too late. and bad experience 1st time can effect how it goes with the next baby too

i dont think the 6 months target is unrealistic or needs changing though, but people should be made to know it does not have to be 6 months or nothing - anything is fine. but i think people know this anyway?? didnt really find the article great

As a target, it seems realistic. As a guideline or expectation I think it isn't realistic, in that it sets a lot of people up to fail early on when if the guideline was closer they might push on and, hey presto, when they got to six weeks or whatever they might just go on from there.

Six months seems an eternity when you have a new baby.

I think we also need to look at how mothers often feel that they want to "get back to normal" and possibly societal pressure on them to do that. In that context (and taking expressing out of the equation for a sec) is it realistic, in the UK, to expect that most mothers will spend 6 months constantly in the company of their baby? Possibly not.

e.g. You go to a baby group where most mums are ff. Someone suggests a night out. You can't express, so what do you do? Either don't go, or use formula. Very committed bf'ers would say "I wouldnt go" but for people who don't feel as passionately, it's probably more borderline, esp if they're desperate for a break/ have a very demanding baby.

Sardine Queen's stats show that the fall off between 6 weeks (when bf has been established) and 6 months is 25%. This is presumably less about lack of support and more about lifestyle choices, although I guess maybe people are hitting the 6 wk growth spurt and thinking "sod this".

Also, despite the fact that it's rarely talked about, based on SQ's stats, a lot of people are mixed feeding and possibly then screwing it up, losing supply and giving up completely. I know many bf experts are reluctant to talk about mixed because bf is preferable, but as any bf is better than no bf, maybe there should be more advice about how to incorporate (eg) 1 FF per day. Perhaps then more women would be doing some bf for longer.

sundae I personally set myself mini targets with DS, so I aimed for 2 weeks EBF, then 6 wks EBF, then I aimed to get to 6 mo with 1 ff per day (expressing never worked, despite hospital grade pump, plenty of supply and a great HV). Breaking it down made it a bit less daunting on the bad days.

Unrealistic? I know many mums who managed to do it for one year! I don't think my GP/midwife/hospital ever talked about it in terms of a target time period - it was always do it for as long as you feel comfortable with it, the longer the better, but obviously start solids and other foods at the appropriate time. Even 2 or 3 months is fine if that is all you can manage. There is no hard evidence, I'm afraid, that any magical cut off period - whether 3, 6 ,12 or 18 months is best of all - the old WHO guidelines of one year was actually for all mothers worldwide, especially those in countries or locations where there was no clean water or washing facilities to prepare formula hygienically.

'Even 2 or 3 months is fine if that is all you can manage. '

Actually, 2 or 3 days is OK too. The problem here is breaking down what can seem an epic challenge when you are new to it all. Small goals is definitely the way to go. No new mum needs to be told how there neighbour fed four children until they were all at school or whatever getting through the next feed seems daunting.

1 in 4 women in the UK are still BF at 6 months though. That is much more than you would imagine reading the papers and so on. I do think women are trying and assuming they are thinking "sod this" at 6 weeks is harsh. It may be that they have struggled on for 6 weeks with pain and problems and that is the point they call it a day. It may be any number of reasons. Without investigating why there is a drop of 25% between birth and 6 weeks and another 25% between 6 weeks and 6 months, it is impossible to say why it is happening.

I don't like the way that the assumption on many of these threads is it's because UK women can't be arsed when in fact most mothers (and fathers) do the best they can for their babies.

Sorry- that was a bit tongue in cheek and I didnt mean to imply people just CBA. I started off looking at your stats and thinking "why is there a 25% drop off between 6 weeks and 6 months?" as you'd think by 6 weeks you'd be slightly in your groove/ intital problems sorted, and then I remembered that a lot of people find the 6 week mark a nightmare of cluster feeding, and wondered if it was because the cluster feeding can start just when you're expected to get your life/routine back a bit, and especially if you have other children it can all get too much (i.e. if your baby is screaming for milk and you have to get in the car to collect your older children from school,make dinner, do homework, what do you do?" So when I said "sod this" I was being a bit flippant- more that I can see why for some people it might be the point at which ideals and real life collide. You're tired. You're sick of juggling all these competing demand etc.

I ebf both my dcs to 6 months so know it's not wholly unrealistic. However only about 1% do so clearly I'm in a tiny minority.

Perhaps a more 'realistic' target might actually encourage more women to breastfeed for longer, if it felt more achievable? I don't think the 6-month recommendation should be ditched entirely though if evidence suggests it's best.

Apologies if this point has already been made, but someone in the media needs to flag up the fact that there are massive age and social class factors at play when it comes to who drops out quickest with breastfeeding.

In other words - some women suffer from lack of social support for breastfeeding, and perhaps are subject to more pressure to ff than others.

I don't see the message that six months of exclusive breastfeeding is optimal as an 'all or nothing' message.

And the 1% exclusive breastfeeding also takes into account all the mums like myself who never gave formula but did introduce solids before 28 weeks (I introduced solids for my last dc at 5 months when he increased his feeds from 10 or so in a 24 hour period to about double this!)

I really think that support post-natally in hosp and at home if you need it is the key.

That is expensive though.

"I guess its a bit like being 5 stone overweight and your Dr saying either you lose the full 5 stone or you're health would be just as bad as if you didn't lose an ounce whereas the truth is that losing the full 5 stone is ideal but even losing 1 stone is better than nothing."

I repeat - nowhere does anyone say that it's no point breastfeeding unless it's exclusive. I've never even seen it implied, and certainly not in any public health material.

On the exclusive stats - I just think they exclude far too many people who most people would consider to be BF

For instance my DD1, I BF her for 14 months. But she had a sip of formula at 3 weeks (maybe, not sure if she took it). So I would be excluded from the stats.

Ditto a friend of mine who fed her 3 children for over 6 months but gave them a bottle every night from birth

And someone else I know who left a bottle when the GPs looked after the baby sometimes

These babies are not being fed exclusively BM, on the basis that some formula occasionally passes their lips. Or has maybe passed their lips once. Yet they are all excluded when people talk about BF. I think that they should be included. Sure there are problems with early mixed feeding, and establishing supply, and all the rest of it. But to basically say that women who are BF babies more or less exclusively sometimes for well over a year are somehow not worth counting... I think they are. I think that ignoring them all paints an unnecessarily gloomy picture of what is going on when the fact is that at 6 months 1 in 4 of all babies in the UK are being BF.

The stats quoted in the media and on here are always the exclusive ones (unless I am on the thread!).

I believe this gives an incomplete picture of the actual situation and is misleading.

I say always, clearly sometimes the "any BM" stats are used!

I just think that using the exclusive stats sends the debate about how to improve BF rates off in the wrong direction.

Yes, I think if you get to 6 weeks, then getting to 6 months is very realistic. The difficult part is those early weeks, when you need support from everyone around you. After the first couple of months, it's much easier to continue BF than to switch to FF. IMHO anyway.

I think our biggest problem as mothers in the UK is the pressure we put on ourselves. If you are taking a year's maternity leave with your first baby- as many do - there is no earthly resason why you can't sit and cluster feed in the evenings. There is just this attitude of "getting back to normal ASAP" and having to dash about / go out / get the housework done etc. Obviously it's harder when you've got toddlers to look after as well.

After the long 9 months of growing the baby we don't seem to be able to spare the time to just sit and feed our baby and get to know him /her. Surely FF babies also have to be fed at some point? fathers, grandmas and whoever aren't available to "help" 24 hours a day for 6 months.

I overheard a conversation at the school gates the other night. A grandma was saying how worried she was about her new grandson and that her DIL had done her best with BF but the baby was having to be topped up with formula and grandma thought DIL's milk wasn't good enough quality and she ought to just switch to FF. Grandma had given up BF for the same reason. WTAF is this "milk quality" business about? Hear that crap for long enough and it would undermine anyone's confidence.

It's been said before but perhaps some realistic portrayal of BF on the soaps could go some way to reverse the 60 years of FF propaganda. Even a likeable character challenging an older woman's "poor quality milk" comments. The whole of society sees FF as the default, with BF as some ideal that "most" women can't achieve, instead of BF as the default with FF for those who can't or don't want to BF.

"shagmundfreud - I used the word perceive because the official ebf message isn't all or nothing at all. But that is how it is perceived by many women"

Why do you think this is?

It's not there in public health information.

None of the breastfeeding charities (the NCT, ABM, BfN, La Leche) hold this view.

Why do women see an unreasonable message where none exists?

Are they looking for a rationale for stopping? ("well - everything's telling me I ought to exclusively breastfeed, otherwise there's no point in doing it, and I can't exclusively breastfeed so I might as well stop all together").