BBC Breakfast Woman from charity one plus one "Do you make a better parent if you are married to your partner?"

[WyrdMother]

One Plus One webste

"Do you make a better parent if you are married to your partner?"

Caught this on the way past the tv and it's back on in about 20 minutes.

I think I heard the Rep. stating that statistics show that Married people are better committed to their families than people who co-habitate.

My knee-jerk reaction is what a load of arrogant bollocks and I am married.

Because Married people have better Educations and better jobs and have more going for them.

As someone who hasn't yet got round to signing a contract to say i'm in love, i found it pretty offensive TBH

Statistics given: 1 in 3 living together and 1 in 10 (? kid talking over tv) married split before children are 5

Based on government report. (Typed quickly as she said it) "People who get married are quite definable, they have more stable backgrounds and are better educated and more financially stable."

Said sat nex to a psychiartrist whose been co-habitating successfully for 37 years with 3 kids.

Connected to this: Iain Duncan Smith promises to champion marriages

This really belonged in Politics.

Agreed.

I think this is another underhanded Tory way to get women "back where they belong". That is all.

There will always be statistics, they don't mean anything for individual people/couples but they can be a tool for social and political types to use when working out the best support systems for a society.

I'm not too sure what use there is in spouting them on breakfast telly though.

Oh, and my parents were married. I learned a lot watching my alcoholic, abusive father beat the crap out of my mum on a weekly basis...

I think statistically it is correct that more married couples with children stay together than unmarried couples, but that doesn't mean that hundreds of thousands of unmarried couples do stay together and raise their children well into adulthood.

I can't find the statistic; I think it was based on benefits information which is never infallible.

Odd Boots beat me to it

What a load of rubbish

I am not married to my partner and I am one hell of a lot more committed to him and to my two DSSs, as well as to our own DD, than his exW ever was. She is totally disengaged from her two children and leaves their upbringing entirely to us - it was ever thus, from babyhood.

I actually think the opposite: that marriage is sometimes a reflex action for social status that allows people not to engage with the people they are married to.

But you said it better, Mumbles. :)

I'm full of cold so may glue myself to the sofa until work (lunchtime) see if I can find more about the data.

?In God we trust; all others must bring data.? I'm an Atheist btw.

I also think it is a big mistake to promote marriage as some kind of fail-safe parenting arrangement. It isn't.

Statistically more married couple stay together than unmarried couples.

However, I belive that if you compare like with like (age, education, financial status) the figures are pretty equal. Ergo, older, well educated, finacially satble couples are statistically more likely to stay together whether they be married or not.

I strongly believe that positive outcomes for children are the result of the commitment of the adults who are responsible (in reality, not on paper ) for their welfare. I can quite understand how that often correlates with two married biological parents. But not necessarily.

Social Justice: Transforming Lives

"Analysis of the Millennium Cohort Study shows that around one in ten married parents split before a child?s fifth birthday, compared to one in three cohabiting couples.41" p16 .48

Following paragraph

"But many couples are choosing not to get married and still go on to provide good family environments. Evidence suggests that the way in which a family functions has even more effect on outcomes for children than the type of family structure (e.g. whether they are a lone parent or married couple)." p16 .49

I'm tired and my head is full of compacted snot but doesn't that just equal lazy reporting on the part of the BBC? Though can't remember if they said the government was saying this or wether it was just the one plus one woman.

If anyone is interested, data on family structure

UK Office of National Statistics:

Description: Presents recent estimates of the number of families by type, people in families by family type and children in families by type. Types of family include married couple families, cohabiting couple families and lone parent families. Tables on household size, household types and people in different household types are also provided. These include estimates of people living alone and multi-family households.

WyrdMother - and, if that is the case, the conclusion any right-thinking politician ought to draw is that, as a society, we need to focus more on educating people in family (and, indeed, group) dynamics and less on legal structures and rules.

22 years unmarried here.I'm more married than most people I know oh and dp and I have 3 degrees between us.

I think it's total utter tosh.

Finding somebody you want to spend the rest of your life with is luck. Nobody married or unmarried should stay together forever if they're unhappy. Being miserable in a relationship is never going to make you a better parent. Yes work at your relationship and try your utmost best to get through the hard times but really stay together forever because you stood in front of a bunch of people one day and signed something-really!!!!!!!!!! Why on earth would this make you a better parent.

Ah but that wouldn't fit with their agenda to promote "old fashioned family values" or whatever they're calling it this time

I so, so hope that I D-S turns out to have a mistress, preferably a dominatrix... I seem to recall John Major and co promoting "family values" while he was presumabily shagging Edwina Currie (not necessarily at the exact moment but who knows?).

I hope they aren't calling them "old fashioned" family values. A return to the past is never going to be a vote winner.

"...we need to focus more on educating people in family (and, indeed, group) dynamics and less on legal structures and rules." Absolutely agree.

The thing is, even if there is a big statistical difference between married couples and unmarried ones, that doesn't mean that marriage is the issue.

A proportion of "unmarried" couples will be people who are trying to make a relationship work because there's a child involved, who maybe would have split up much sooner if they hadn't ended up pregnant and are doing the best they can in a not-ideal situation.

And a proportion of married couples will be staying together because of cultural and/or religious reasons, despite providing a miserable example of relationships to their children.

So its way more complex than "marriage is good for children"

well, if the statistics are correct and married people are 'better parents' because they are better educated, more financially stable etc, then encouraging poorly educated, badly off people to get married won't actually make them 'better parents', will it? So a bit of a pointless debate.

Disclaimer, I do not think that being a good parent is about your education level or your financial status. (Though I think it makes life generally easier).