5 year old boy gender identity disorder

[MamaMaiasaura]

Ok it's in the daily mail so usually not reliable but has anyone else read this story. On phone and can't do links. He was 4 when he decided he wanted to be a girl.

I recall ds2 at 3 wanting to be a girl like mummy and wanting his willy chopped off. I never made a fuss or took him to dr as I was pretty sure it was a phase. He was just at age where he was learning about hos body and that there are girls and boys. He wanted to be a girl, hed wear my shoes and nighties. It was a phase and sometimes he puts my heels on. Its normal surely?

There really must be a grey area, surely, with a child so young? I was concerned for a while that my son's expressed wish to be a girl was something lasting, but he has since said that he was miserable with who he was and sick of being teased at school, and wondered if it would have been easier to 'be himself' if he'd been born a girl. These days, he's happier to be him.

sakura transgendered certainly doesn't mean "liking men and lipstick". Transgendered women don't neccessarily fancy men or favour hyperfeminine outfits/makeup etc.

Referrals aren't made lightly, but to deny children who identify as transgendered need all the support they can get, as early as they can get it - ignoring the needs of a very vulnerable group (just look at the suicide and selfharm rate of transgendered people) just because it doesn't fit into your political worldview is hateful.

Also, maybe instead of only googling "transgender regret" it might make sense to also google "androgen insensivity syndrome"

I agree its totally ridiculous. I was the same as boaty, at about age 9 I rejected being a girl and took on a boy's identity, clothes/name/haircut, because I didnt relate to girl's toys or 'girly' behaviour. This phase lasted for a year or two I would say, then I just grew out of it and it just stopped being an issue- as with boaty, I am still a tomboyish girl in some ways but I just became 'me'; a straight female who doesnt do 'girlie' very often. I think the parents are being very foolish, they should just have kept it low key.

The thing is though, for every 99 girls who "wanted to be a boy but grew out of it", there will be one girl who doesn't grow out of it, and needs help and understanding. Either to help them understand about society and gender constructs and sexuality and why their feelings don't have to be about their physical gender, or in a small proportion of that already small proportion, what their options might be about changing their physical gender to match what they genuinely believe about their "true self".

No matter how many people say "Well I grew out of it" (And I'd be in that category myself), there are those who don't. And I think it's right that there are doctors and psychiatrists who are prepared to take their issues seriously and try to help them work through the issues. So it's not ridiculous that this boy is being taken seriously and given help.

The only ridiculous thing about the situation is going to the press about it - no way that is going to help, whatever this child decides in later life about his/her gender identity.

I really think the parents have done their child a massive disservice by taking this story (complete with birth certificate) to the press.

I think at such a young age they need to give this child space to decide for his/herself.

For the last two months my 4 year old DS has refused to be called a boy because he is actually a hippo. He spends all day singing his hippo song, grunting like a hippo and generally doing Hippo things.

I have no intention of taking him to the doctor to help him in his transformation to a hippo.

I guess rubbish like the stuff butheneverdid just said is one of the reasons why there's a disproportionately high number of self harmers and suicide among young people with gender disphoria.

OH FFS - I am being blamed for self harmers now !

I just dont think you can take seriously a 4 year olds claim to differing identities. Be it Hippo or the other gender. They just play around with being different things. And a parents reaction should always be along the lines of "thats nice dear, now run along and get ready for tea".

I dont think 4 year olds really understand gender (mine certainly doesn't) - and so they need to be a lot older before you stick them in a dress and put them in the daily mail.

WidowWadman, you seem to be setting yourself up as some kind of expert on this subject. Are you?

Some psychologists do think that transgender is connected to certain areas of sexuality, so there is no reason to call Amberleaf ignorant.

Most children who are identified as having GID do not have it as an adult. The US is now tightening up its diagnostic criteria because so many children were being diagnosed for it simply for being gender non-conforming. This issue has to be looked at for the impact it has on the majority of children diagnosed who have no gender issue as adults, as well as the minority who do. You only seem concerned with what is in the best interests of the group who continue to have it as adults.

sakura I always believed that the steps taken for body alteration at a younger age, that yes some do regret, was mainly when there are disorders of sexual development involved?? Was featured in the likes of that BBC programme 'Me, my sex and I' about DSDs.

I have known a few transgendered people (one in my immediate family) and I hope I don't sound flippant, but... did anybody else get the feeling that the parents in this case encouraged this child because they secretly wanted a little girl they could dress and up put its hair in pigtails?

Yes, I felt that too.

I also found this para rather worrying:

"On his Facebook page, Darren Avery describes himself as an artist and ?dad of four starting my own business drawing pictures from photos?. Sketches he has uploaded include a reclining nude woman wearing a necklace with a large, heart-shaped pendant, based on Kate Winslet in Titanic. Others include a blonde girl striking a provocative pose in a figure-hugging top, and a faceless female wearing only a Mickey Mouse T-shirt."

As well as the five figure sum that others have mentioned.

Frankly, to me it seems like they are using their child for PR and self-promotion.

I thought transgender surgery was only available on the NHS when the patient was over the age of 18 and only after extensive evaluation. I dont think any reputable surgeon would perform the operation on a very young child.

Lots of people seemed to have formed opinions after watching an hour long programme but surely the parents know it's more than a case of childhood role-playing, after all there're with them 24/7. I think the parents are trying to raise awareness of this disorder, it's not uncommon for parents to do this think of all those features on cancer, leukemia, genetic diseases etc, especially when there is a lot of misconception surrounding the disorder

The whole thing scares me a bit frankly. I am another one who spents a few years of my childhood with boys haircut/clothes/name etc. I grew out of it when I started hitting puberty.

What if I had been identified as being transgender and given hormones to prevent puberty and prevent me becoming a women.

How can anyone that young have the awareness to make a decision that will impact their entire life?

When you have met someone with gender dysphoria you will begin to understand the difference between being a tomboy/ tomgirl and knowing you are in the wrong body.

It is also why gender dysphoria is diagnosed by specially trained doctors not Daily Mail readers.

Slightly off point, but do you think that it is socialy acceptable to be a Tom boy but not a Tom girl? If it is do you think society should change?

I think it is more socially acceptable to be a tom boy, but I was still bullied...

It is also why gender dysphoria is diagnosed by specially trained doctors not Daily Mail readers.

In my experience (I mean RL experience, not reading the DM), the Tavistock are far too enthusiastic in their desire to put a label on someone. To justify their existence, presumably.

I think that its moral unacceptable publishing this story in the daily mail. The parents seems to be more interested in their five minutes of fame or making a quick buck than the welfare of their child.

A four year old boy wants to be a girl. So what. If it was the otherway round it would never make the papers. My two year old daughter wants a willy and I have been told to go to tescos to buy one.

I think there are plenty of ways a little boy could endulge his femine side without going full blast pink. He could grow his hair without having pigtails. His bedroom could be decorated in unisex style. I feel that his parents are actively encouraging their son to be a girl as a form of attention seeking for themselves.

I think alot of boys of that age like girl's toys and girls clothes. My son loved dolls at that age and preferred girls dolls rather than action men because modern action men didn't come with lots of outfits, they wanted you to buy a new action man for each activity and he liked changing the clothes so played with my barbies. he also liked dressing up and the girls clothes were more fun than boys at that age. He also disliked football and fighting.Now he's a masculine teenager. I can't see any way in which these parents' actions can have helped this boy.
I find people who believe in gender dysphoria have very fixed ideas of what being male or female means.
I am a woman because I am genotypically and phenotypicall;y female. Whether I am interested in ballet or engineering or fancy men or women is irrelevent. I am still a woman.
Screw the sexual stereotypes, accept yourself for who you are and stay away from mutilating surgery.