Sunday Times article about working women by India Knight.........

[ssd]

Did you read it and if you did what did you think?

FWIW I agree with her, will probably be stoned now.

er hang on - what about working dads? aren't they just as responsible for kennelling small children as feckless working mums such as me? Or am I foolishly forgetting that dads have no connection with their children because they get to have a penis instead?

why is it whenever this debate rears its head we all assume that only the female parent has any responsibility or parental connection? Its garbage. imho caring for children should be a shared responsibility with men as able to stay at home if they chose to as women, and conversely with women able to work and have a career as they see best.

Thats a good point psychobabble. How many times have we had people on here complaining about midwives and health visitors who haven't given birth/had their own children and how they don't appreciate the situation.

Now, as anyone who knows will already know I am a huge advocate of Woman's right to work. But,I want to comment that an education is beneficial to a SAHM because it it has a great affect on the child's own successful education. I remember watching Child of Our Time and the a question was asked about what factor contributed most to a child's education. One option was private school, another option was the mother's level of education (not the father's I might add). I forgot the other options, but the answer was the mother's level of education.

Wordsmith, I know this wasn'tn't your point. Just thought it worth mentioning as the conversation has evolved.

I went to nothing until school - no toddler groups or anything. Flourished at school and loved it.

I stayed at home with dd1 for the first five years of her life. She is highly sensitive and very attached to me and hates any change in her routine. dd2 has had a childminder since she was about 8 months. She is very sociable and chatty, loves everyone. BUT I have a fantastically close relationship with dd1 so I don't regret a moment of staying at home with her.

couldn't quite manage it with the others though

alicat - exactly.

Yoyo - there's a first time for everything. Sorry if I offended you. But I was getting a bit fed up of trying to explain my point, which was the exact opposite of what some people seemed to think it was.

absolutely enid/stinkweasel, it is EVERYTHING to do with a child;s personality imho
I was at home with my mum until I was five and a half - not group care or antyhign and according to my mother's account i ran into school without a backward glance
I am not [ahem] shy
over confident is the word more often used
same with dd1 - at home with me f/t and confident as all that

Hi Enid, I have a fantastically close relationship with my dd too! Whether or not one decides 2 hours a day to clear my housework, admin and shopping is reasonable . The proof is ultimately in the pudding. Why do we need to lay down arbitrary standards for other parentsmums and their children, esp where they don't do what we do?

Y'know, when I'm at work and I read these arguments, there are days when I feel a small stirring of concern. Maybe, by chosing to go back to work full time, because - shock - I wanted to, I have permanently damaged my son?Then I go home to my lovely boy, who's full of beans and hugs and gentleness and somehow I really can't bring myself to give a rat's arse about other people's views.

Which begs the question why do so many people doubt the evidence of their own eyes? WOHM or SAHM, you know your kids best of all, right? So surely if there was a major problem you'd be doing something about it?

Let's all give each other a little credit for doing the best for our kids in our own, different ways. Although I do agree that it would be helpful if there was a more general attitude that 50% of that effort is the father's responsibility.

Oh, and by the way, I used to go to school 8am - 6.30 pm, five days a week. Loved it, never did me any harm - woof woof

cos we all love to judge on this site blueshoes.

I love a good judge, me

De ja vu anyone?

Does this woman get paid more for childcare attacking articles or what?

I like her but give it a rest woman!

Not read the whole thread but has anyone called her fat and ugly yet? They did on the last one and it was mean and totally irrelevant.

did they really oo
that's pretty bad actually
actually enid I can spend up to two hours every day judging
and that's on a good day

You do make me laugh Enid

Just well I don't take this site too seriously or I'd be crying into my keyboard.

I think you have put my own own sentiments mwith most clarity Gizmo!

I like to have my kids around me when I judge though.

I figure its a good life skill for them to use, and with nurseries having to adhere to strict guidelines I imagine judging is considered rather un-PC these days.

I would rather die then send my girls to nursery full time, especially from 4 months or whatever , so I moved to an area I still hate 4 years on to be near MIL and cheaper houses.

I shall remind them of my sacrifices when I am old and still bitter.

Damn. Can't find the original article in which she stated that SAHMs were boring (June 2004), but have looked up my response to it and it seems she claimed that to be an SAHM you would have to be below average intelligence. She also, quite bizarrely, claimed that as house prices were higher outside London she couldn't afford to give up work and move out. It was all rather odd-- especially in the light of this week's rant.

Glad to see a few others mentioning the "dad" word. Amazing to see how many on this thread use the "I" word when explaining how they came to be a SAHM. I'm starting to wonder whether there are more single mums on mumsnet than I previously imagined.
I also wonder how many fathers out there are justifying to their colleagues why they work full time? Why they made a particular choice about their child's care - not many I suspect!

Obviously your not judging in my favour Enid, but nevermind. I'm still chuckling.....

exactly Bugsy2 - working dads I know travel frequently, go out socially, work the hours they need to work regardless of family life. They don't ever get challenged about their choice to continue working in the career they've been in for years pre-baby but its somehow cause for commment that I haven't downsized/gone into teaching (i get that one a lot)/am able to travel for work occasionally,

That said I guilt trip myself constantly for being here rather than there. I don't think my male colleagues do. Hence they spend the weekends on the golf course I spend time 100% with DS.

stinkweasel - if you've got a degree, everyone seems to reckon teaching is the perfect alternative career for some bizarre reason! the number of times people have suggested I go into teaching!

yep have degree and am a woman. with a child. therefore should be a teacher because "they have all those holidays"

In my work world thats logic that is.

Oh I quite agree - actually wanting to do it and feeling you might have an aptitude for it might help!