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Original poster

So, would you feel less married if gays were allowed full marriage rights?

100 replies

PointyLittleDonkeyEars · 04/12/2011 19:04

link here.

I'm not after a bunfight, just some honest opinions. I'm heterosexual, married almost 14 years and I would not feel that my marriage was devalued in any way if homosexual couples were allowed to marry. I feel that two people who love each other enough to commit for a lifetime should be allowed to do so in all the same ways that heterosexual couples are.

I'm also aware that there are people who feel quite differently, and I'd really like to know why. I just don't get it.

I've heard the arguments - the Bible-based ones, the ones based on procreation, the historical/traditional ones, and none of them make any sense. We are living in the year 2011, things change. We now have female priests in the C of E, women can vote, men can be midwives and nurses - the world has moved on. Why is this so bad?

OP posts:
YankNCock · 04/12/2011 21:14

Sorry, should say those couples are both back in the U.S. At least their are civil partnerships here, but I do think it should go further and be given the same name (as per Trills).

YankNCock · 04/12/2011 21:14

Sorry, should say those couples are both back in the U.S. At least there are civil partnerships here, but I do think it should go further and be given the same name (as per Trills).

YankNCock · 04/12/2011 21:15

ergh, double posting due to hitting 'back' to try to catch my spelling mistake!

Gay40 · 04/12/2011 21:24

I think we should have something like a Unification Registration which any couple regardless of gender combination can get, and that is your legal status = married. Then, additionally and afterwards, if you want to fart about in the religious building of your choice with a religious ceremony, go right ahead.
But just one system for all, please.

Original poster
PointyLittleDonkeyEars · 04/12/2011 21:28

I'm beginning to think that if RL were more like MN, we'd be living in a better world Smile.

OP posts:
bkgirl · 04/12/2011 21:39

I used to be against this but recently (after collecting my sis from a gay wedding) I met the couple concerned, they had been together for years and loved each other to bits. It hit me then, who the hell was I to judge, it was probably some sort of old catholic hang up (I am lapse). No, I now support marriage between people who love each other, regardless of sex, religion etc and good luck to them. The world needs more happiness. TBH it is more gays adopting kids that I have problems with - that said I do learn! (Met some kids tonight and seriously thought their hetero parents shouldn't be allowed to breed).

bkgirl · 04/12/2011 22:17

Discussing it with hubby, agree with him, totally fine for state marriage but no need to piss religious people off with religious ceremony when the religion does not support their union in a 'theological' sense. It is important for gay people to be able to marry like everyone else not least because of pension rights.

Oh and the thing about gay people having children, if my son or daughter was gay and wanted to have their own child - would i support them? I would of course!

JosephineButler · 04/12/2011 22:27

I would prefer to be able to have a civil partnership. I got married because it was the easiest way of making DH my legal next of kin. So I suppose it is couples like us who are more likely to be weakening marriage as an institution.

LePruneDeMaTante · 04/12/2011 22:28

I would be delighted if gay people had the same marriage rights.
(I would also be happy if civil partnerships were extended to heterosexual couples - that's what dh and I wanted, a legal undertaking without the 'baggage' that marriage brings, eg offending people by not having a wedding.)

I've never understood, nor taken seriously, the pat sentence that gay marriage devalues the institution of marriage. It has nothing whatsoever to say about my marriage/relationship. In fact, nobody has anything to say about my relationship because it is mine. Quite how two women or two men getting married could influence it is totally beyond me.

Moln · 04/12/2011 22:42

no not at all

think there's celebrities out there that devaule marraige.

But even they don't devaule my marraige

likelucklove · 04/12/2011 22:43

I would love it if gay people were allowed to marry in the same was as straight couples.

Me and DP have been toying with the idea of waiting until his brother and his DP could get married in their home country. We think it isn't fair that they can't do what straight couples take for granted sometimes.

mayorquimby · 04/12/2011 23:12

they should call the legal document/social contract something neutral such as civil union/partnership for everyone and leave the term marriage up to individuals or their religions to classify.

mayorquimby · 04/12/2011 23:12

with of course equal rights afforded to all under the legal process.

DioneTheDiabolist · 04/12/2011 23:18

No. Nothing else to say.

Tortington · 04/12/2011 23:29

no

confuddledDOTcom · 05/12/2011 01:19

No I wouldn't.

I'm a Christian, I go to church most weeks and try to live my life, raise my children as I feel God would want. I believe that God doesn't force anything on us, He gave us free will and it's up to us to use it as we feel is right. I don't know whether in God's eyes it's right or wrong and as I'm straight it isn't my place to decide that. If people aren't Christian then telling them what my God thinks of them (which as I've said, I wouldn't do) is meaningless and if they are Christian then it's between them and God. If it is wrong, is it any more wrong than a million other things that Christians do wrong? As a Christian I know I'm not perfect, I don't have to be because my salvation isn't based on my works, I'm human, I couldn't be good enough. I'm not married (getting married) and we have three children together, am I in a place to comment on if it's right or wrong for two people of the same sex to be together? Personally, I don't think so. The only person who's standing with God I need to worry about is my own.

lisaro · 05/12/2011 01:21

You'd need to be insecure to be threatened by it.

TapirBackRidersJinglyBells · 05/12/2011 01:53

Marriage is marriage - it's for a couple to show their love and commitment to each other. It matters not what sex they are or what orientation they are.

I firmly believe that marriage rights and civil partnership rights should be extended to all.

Why deny people these things based on their sexual orientation?

dancingmustard · 05/12/2011 04:52

This is going to play merry hell with genealogists 200 years from now.
I'm not religious because of the constraints set on major religions to conform.
With that in mind I don't see why gay people want to get married in an institution that despises them but welcomes child molesting priests.
Suggestion.
Pink churches everywhere and for as far as the eye can see :)

sakura · 05/12/2011 07:58

Well I've always supported gay marriage on the grounds that it's not fair that only straight people suffer

shouldnotbehere · 05/12/2011 10:55

Not at all.

bkgirl · 05/12/2011 22:03

I suspect people wouldn't mind so much if its secular but would object to church.

Original poster
PointyLittleDonkeyEars · 05/12/2011 22:16

bkgirl I suspect a lot of people either gay or straight would have a secular marriage anyway - DH and I had a register office do. But the point is that they would be allowed to call it marriage, not a civil partnership.

And tbh I think it ought to be up to individual clergy of whatever denomination to decide whether or not they were happy to give their blessing to non-secular marriages - I would not wish to be married by a clergyman/woman who did not genuinely believe they were setting the seal on something sacred.

OP posts:
TheButterflyEffect · 05/12/2011 22:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

notthexmasfairy · 06/12/2011 13:03

wouldn't bother me at all.

but i'd prefer one system, as others have mentioned

have a marriage/civil ceremony open to all (regardless of sex), then if you want to bring religion into it (like a celebration afterwards or a joint speaking arrangement) couples should feel free to do this.

I don't see the point of saying that straight couples can marry, non-straight couples can have a partnership. Just give everyone the same rights and obligations, and then if they want to add on traditional things like religious aspects, they can, but it doesn't infringe on anyone else's rights - sorted!

Now that MN have (pretty much collectively) solved the gay marriage issue, we need to move onto world hunger next Grin

(in all seriousness, i've never understood why this has been such a big deal to the american right-wingers, i was astounded a few years ago when i realised it was a deal breaker for some voters, whether their candidate supported it or not)