I had a very traumatic labour, birth and postnatal period. I had a ventouse WITH episiotomy, which failed, and then had a caesarean under general anaesthetic. I went to sleep to the words 'don't worry about stitching her now, just do it later' in reference to my episiotomy.
I had a HB of 7 postnatally, a blood transfusion, and an excruciatingly painful wound haematoma, which wasn't released until day 5 when my staples were removed. As a result of this my wound split open. I then understood why I had spent the previous 4 days fainting with pain. I also developed a wound infection (surprise surprise).
I will not be planning an elective casearean next time. I will be planning a homebirth with midwives.
I was to blame for the cascade of intervention in my first birth. I did not read or understand how to cope in labour, I attended classes - but failed to truely educate myself to birth and how to avoid complications.
I should have taken myself home after an appointment in the assessment unit when I was over due, when it was decided I was in early labour. I should have questioned why I was sent to the antenatal ward.
I had an epidural at 3cm as recommended by a midwife because I was not coping with the pain. I should have said no. I was coping - but very vocally so. In retrospect, this is my coping mechanism for pain.
I should have remained mobile, and stayed at home as long as possible, in my own environment. I should have done many things differently. Yes, I could blame the midwives - but then they were only doing what they thought they should at the time - it was down to me to say no, or ask questions about what was being recommended and why.
Not all women who have a traumatic birth want to go on to have an elective c/s.