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Original poster

THAT family in sheffield...

71 replies

MyXmasPuddingSixpenceworth · 21/12/2005 23:58

have no link, but it has been all over the news, 'parents' for want of a better word, with (think it's 5) children ranging from 13months to 7yrs, kids were found starving (one with LIVE MAGGOTS in nappy). Parents have been jailed for 7 yrs. Good. but what was also horrible was learning that sw expect less from parents in deprived areas than from affluent areas, in terms of nurturing - so signs of neglect that would have led to action in some cases, are just left in others? I must surely have misunderstood that, I can't believe it - the implications are terrifying.

Whole story had me in tears, I just wanted to go get those kids and have them myself.

OP posts:
TIREDofwrappingpressiesEMMA · 22/12/2005 18:36

i contacted SS a few months ago, concerned about the welfare of a young child, ummed and ahhed for ages about whether to phone or not. When i did phone the SS said " Oh- that name rings a bell" etc, child is still with useless drug addict of a mother, who still takes child out shoplifting, walks around streets in a daze with child in pushachair asking people for change "for the bus".
makes me so angry.

Blandmum · 22/12/2005 18:38

I have taught children who were repetedly returned to abusive/neglectful families after short times in care. The school would report issues but in practice little was done.

bauble99 · 22/12/2005 18:46

I've been virtually stoned for this. But I'll say it again.

You'd hope that someone, somewhere, would have had the wit and wisdom to say to this woman...FGS. Stop having children!

Another baby born. Another baby left in a room, starved, covered in faeces to the extent that the flies had laid eggs which had grown into maggots...

Blandmum · 22/12/2005 18:49

My SIL once worked with a family that had 10 children. 9 had been taken into care for neglect....they parents were not evil, just didn't realy understand how to look after the kids properly. they were allowed to keep the 10th until they started to neglect that one. Which begs the question, why were they not given the education and help that they needed???

thecattleareALOHing · 22/12/2005 18:50

i suspect that if someone posted about this family on mn, the would be accused of being 'judgemental' and be told the mother was probably depressed....

bauble99 · 22/12/2005 18:55

Something has gone terribly and fatally wrong. SW's are either accused of either doing too much or too little.

If it's true, I resent the comment that the SS 'expect less from socially deprived areas'

We run two nurseries and the only 'grubby' and unkempt children we have are from the wealthiest families. I suspect they spend more time/money shampooing the dogs than they do their children. The 'poorer' children are always beautifully clean and well-dressed.

How much does a bath cost? How much a loaf of bread? Anyone who tried to use poverty as a defence for the parents in this case is wrong.

Poverty of aspiration is a killer though, I agree.

lanismum · 22/12/2005 18:55

if you get caught treating a dog this way, you would be banned from keeping another, these people should have their reproductive organs removed, they dont deserve them

Blandmum · 22/12/2005 18:59

Agree that poverty of aspiration is a dreadful thing.

I also think that the fragmentation of society is an issue and the effect of drugs.

My mum was raised during the 20 and 30s by a single parent. Her mother was dreadfully poor, worked taking in wasking and cleaned a public toilet to earn some money. She had 4 children who were amazingly well careed for, clean and relativly well fed.

But she also lived at a time when self reliance and keeping a respectable family were the norms she same around her. She would have been ashamed if her children were seen to be dirty. They couldn't afford shoes in the summer but she did the best she could. We have to ask questions about the way that society is going, as well as what happened in this specific case.

bauble99 · 22/12/2005 19:00

lanismum. Don't go there. I've been in this territory before and it 'aint pretty.

Not pemanently. But temporarily, definitely. Difficult to decide who decides, as has been said before, but I doubt anyone could claim that these parents weren't failing and that conception and birth, in these circumstances is a bad idea.

Hulababy · 22/12/2005 19:26

But this couple were NOT living in abject poverty. The couple themselves had all manner of luxury items int heir own living room in the house. It was only their cjhildren forced to live in this squalor. I really don't think poverty was the main issue here. Any decent parent would have not been buying luxury items for themselves if they couldn't afford to fee their child. Let's face it, even if they had stolen the stuff - they could have sold it on and paid to feed their child. They could have used water for FREE to clean the room. These were just mean, evil nasty people who subjected their babies to cruelty and neglect and gave them the worst life possible.

Hulababy · 22/12/2005 19:27

And I don't care who wants to call me but in this case these two parents do not deserve to ever have a child again EVER. They had FIVE chances to get it right and FIVE tomes they let their child suffer...how can anyone suggest they would be allowed another chance!?!

snowfalls · 22/12/2005 21:17

This is sos so sad, I will never understand why people do this to shildrennothing in the world feels better than seeing your children happy and laughing.

MerryXmas · 23/12/2005 07:58

I can't understand how anyone could treat their children the way those nasty, evil parents treated theirs. The poor babies. How bad must it have been for the 7 year old to tell his teacher? May be a case of the more children they had, the more benefits they received! I just can't believe it.

DanceOfThePeachyPlumFairy · 23/12/2005 16:57

mb. that's a sad story about the family of ten- mainly because I presume she DIDN'T have a HomeStart volunteer, this is exactly the sort of situation they're brilliant in, seen it work so many times.

You have to call SS so many times to get them to do anything. I've seen children returned to famillies where they had been strangled becasue Mum needed the help with the housework (and told SS that was why they wanted her returned). The system is SHITE and needs an overhaul badly. Not just a review and recommendations but taking apart and rebuilding by some of the excellent people who work there but with such huge caseloads / financial and staff shortages that the job is impossible.

Just as an aside, a SW told me I would have to neglect my son a little if I wanted to get the AS help he needed as they only had the capacity for child protection ATM. needless to say, he is not neglected and we are without help.

PantomimEDAMe · 23/12/2005 17:05

There is a world of difference between judging parents who have actually damaged their children and judging a passer-by who is smoking and tells their child to come into a shop, for heaven's sake!

kelb6180 · 23/12/2005 17:21

I have just seen the video news link that was given and I am disgusted!!!!

Those poor children and what they were put through.

In situations like this the blame does not stop at the parents!!

social services, health, education and the local police department should have raised alarms. In all fairness you would have thought neibours/family or someone would have noticed what was going on?? Or is it just another sad fact of people turning a blind eye?

It makes me sick that this can happen to any child, fact is, it goes on and right now as I write this, there are hundreds if not thousands of children suffering some form of abuse.

Any glimpse of abuse should not go un-reported, may be something small and turn out to be nothing but isn't it better to safe than sorry?

I am so annoyed that departments and proffesionals that we have in our society today do not follow code of practice when it comes to abuse and suspition of abuse. Annoyed that they do not take the time to look out for the children they are trained to look after. Everything is a 9-5 job and someone elses concern half the time.

GRRRRRRRRRR just my little rant and view on it. I must admit there are a few decent people out there and I apoligise if I offend by my comments but just look what happens when jobs arnt done properly.

kelb6180 · 23/12/2005 17:22

and just one more thing>>> 7 years, thats is a pathetic sentence for such cruelty, this is a crime that will affect each of them children and will not just physically effect it will mentally effect!!! should be 7 years per child.. make them rot in jail!!!!

Blandmum · 23/12/2005 17:31

peachy, that is what sil was. Wasn't enough tho

DanceOfThePeachyPlumFairy · 23/12/2005 17:57

When I worked for them, Home Start- Organiser, not volunteer) I would put families forwards for emergency help and once or twice, even recommend kids for removal but all that would happen was that there would either be a meeting where I would be told I's have to keep an eye for now or I'd be told on the phone, there just weren't enough SW to go round . And because I'd done all the child protection training, they were happy to leave me in charge even though I was relatively new to job and had very little resources- I would end up with them stuck on a Volunteer waiting list, unable to guarantee a volunteer within the next six months and have to go round in my own time. The scheme went bankrupt after I left so goodness knows what they do now.

Big {grin]'s to your sis for doing the volunteer thing. more needed!

Blandmum · 23/12/2005 18:01

We have refered children to ss (at the school where I work) and nothing happened. Or they were in care for a short term and then returned, back in care, then returned, over and over again. It is awful.

I feel sorry for individual sw, I'm sure they are just as angry and sickened with the system as we all are.

DanceOfThePeachyPlumFairy · 23/12/2005 18:22

I would have loved to be a SW, it was 50/50 that or teaching. However, qualified positions round my way start at £12k and with a student loan / debts..... impossible.

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