How to explain 9/11 to a 3.5 yo?

[93pjb]

My dd likes to look through the paper at breakfast and talk about the pictures usually she prefers animal stories but there is so much about 9/11 currently that she wants to know what is happening in the pictures. I am struggling to find a way of giving her some idea of what happened that doesn't frighten her. Any suggestions?

Has anyone let DC watch it?

What you say depends on the ages of all the children in your household.

Older ones do watch Newsround, do talk about what they've picked up (and for the big global stories, this includes stuff from the playground). I see it as my job to be truthful (I wouldn't, for example, say 9/11 was an accident, but if I could omit cause altogether, I would for a younger child). And I always would say, from a very early age, that things a reach the news because they are rare and exceptional.

This is why traditional fairy tales and other stories with baddies have such a resonance. Children need to learn that baddies exist, that life isn't all under our control; but that disasters are rare, it's OK to feel sad and worried, but we can cope. If the adult is unflappable, the child will learn confidence even in adversity.

If someone had said this to me when my eldest child was 3, I'd probably have thought them insane and that it was way too young. But by the time my youngest was 3, the dynamic had moved on completely.

BTW - by year 6 (age 10/11) mine were discussing AQ with flair. It might seem like a loss of innocence, but it's not a new phenomena - in my day it was IRA bombs.

I quite agree.
Although I still think actually seeing real footage is more scary than talking about it.

I think the footage is scariest if it isn't talked about. That's why when asked parents need to try and talk in an age appropriate context about it rather than just gloss over it and switch channels.

It's scary as it is, but I think not being able to ask questions makes it scarier. The pictures will not be unseen by simply switching over to cbeebies.

You never know what's round the corner - my DCs primary was involved in fund-raising for Haiti and Japan. It would be difficult, if not impossible, to hide 7/7 completely from London children. Talking about what's in the news needs to be done. My DSes picked up, for example, much more of the Madeleine McCann story than I'd realised, even though I thought I'd kept it away from them (and being taken from your parents was more worrying then a tower block on fire). If the next event touched you more personally, a bank of previous discussions of newsworthy events will really help you be confident about how far you go with your individual children, and have them knowing, before they have to process something difficult, how headlines news refers to rare (and sensational) events.

The Newsround website is always a good place to look for examples of how to discuss the news at a level that is accessible to younger children.

BTW: I've not been posting about age of oldest/youngest to be dismissive - but to make the point that I've seen in practice that it's less scary to the young child than we might otherwise think.

Interesting responses!

Yes she is my FB but I hope I'm not too PFB! We like reading the paper of a morning, she likes doing what mummy and daddy do. Most of the pictures tend to relate to lighter stories but if she asks a question then I feel it is very important that she gets an honest answer but the minimum information necessary.

I should clarify that she is not being given a PowerPoint on the background to Al Qaeda, nor is there a test afterwards so we can compare scores.

In a lot of ways I think these are much easier questions to answer at her age than they will be in a year or two precisely because she doesn't understand that much. An older child would inevitably find it much more worrying because they understood more of it.

Where/when do people who don't allow their kids any exposure to the news manage to catch up themselves?

[completely unrepentant about the paper reading, honest answering but I promise I did not start a thread to show off about how clever my 3.5 yo is for looking at pictures ]

I watch news night, listen to 5 live and read the paper without any of the dc ever having felt the need to look over my shoulder. But I agree that trying to shield your dc completely can be too tricky to manage.
Dd didn't get exposed to much then the Madeleine McCann thing exploded and she had to have that explained to her because of people reacting to her in the street. And then her friend died so we had to talk about that.

I just think there is time enough to be exposed to stuff when they have to. Making reading the newspaper a part of a Childs day just seems a bit across the line for me personally. There really isn't any need for it. Reading the paper everyday is something most people can achieve without having to involve their toddler.

But we are all different, of course.