Mother challenges child abortion rules

[monkeytrousers]

here

Janh, I would absolutley agree, but I think that is the school covering their back. I had very heavy painful periods at 17, and certainly didn't ask for my mother's permission to take strong neurofen - nor would I have asked a teacher! But I would have brought my own on a school trip. Unfortunately schools are very worried about getting sued by parents (especially with regard to school trips) and tend to the side of caution. However so long as they think about asking first, I don't think it is a major problem.

I find this whole debate very disturbing. Fifteen yr olds getting pregnant, wanting abortions, not telling parents - I know this is a reality and it does happen, and I know I am hopelessly out of touch with reality but it is just shocking to think of. They are still children, they should not be sexually active.

I think to some extent giving out free, confidential advice, contraception and abortion, this may actually encourage the problem by leading youngsters to think that it's OK to have underage sex. Surely the authorities should be putting across the message that it is illegal and better to wait till they are older.

Yes I know they won't all listen and will carry on regardless but I think that by trying to solve the problem by treating children like adults, the current strategy has backfired.

It's worth remembering, though, that in other societies (and in Western society in past times), teenagers have been regarded as adults more or less as soon as they reach physical maturity.

It's only really here-and-now that we regard teenagers as children, and want them to BE children perhaps longer than is really feasible.

I don't think either extreme is ideal, because teenagers themselves are so variable in terms of how much responsibility they can handle.

That's why the law as it stands is a good approach, ie talk to each pregnant teenager as an individual, get a feeling for how well they understand consequences etc, then treat them appropriately for their level of maturity.

I don't see this woman having much success, partly because that flexibility would then fall away, and partly because, as Aloha and others have pointed out, there are some awfully vulnerable girls out there who currently at least have a chance of being protected from their own families.

Message withdrawn

Good point Pruni. Saadia, I can understand where you are coming from, but the evidence suggests that talking to children about sex and relationships actually encourages them to make better decisions about their lives, and may make them less likely to have sex when they don't really want to, and to be sensible when they do. There are also strong socio economic factors at work, in terms of (particularly girls) aspirations and confidence. Again some cultures and communities have children younger, and it is not neccessarily a bad thing (there are a few teenage mum's round here) where there is plenty of family support. Finally some kids just do experiment (we have two pregnant 10 year olds in my borough, both pregancies as a result of playing with boys not much older) it's not good, but it is a fact of life, and probably always has been (might have been hushed up a couple of generations ago, with the child adopted by granny, or another family member; or sent for adoption).

kids have been f*cking at 13, 14, 15 for eons. not a new thing!

even when i was 15 - i was rather odd being a virgin. and that was many years ago.
its not a new phenominon brought about by admitting the problem

its like the nostalgia about crime. "it wasn't like that in my day" bolloks it was - but it want reported - or it was a family issue or it wasn't publicised through the mass media we have today.

it doesnt mean it didnt exist - just that less people were perhaps infomred of it.

Have to say that the best possible contraceptive for me was my mum and dad talking openly to me from about the age of 14 (in NZ, where there was a high rate of teenage pregnancies) about "taking care" and "the planning clinic won't ask your age".

As it was I was 22 before I lost my virginity

I think this woman is wrong and the current laws have it about right.

What you can do at any one particular age is so arbitrary. Going back a few decades, my mum left school and started working in a shop, full time, at 14.

I wasn't sexually active until I was 18, but if I had got pg under 16 I would have had to tell my mother - I was kept on too tight a rein at home, and lived too rurally, to have been able to go to get advice anywhere - but my life would have been a misery beforehand and, I fear, afterwards. This is because my mother was - to put it bluntly - an emotionally abusive control freak.
Yes, there are families - luckily - in which it would be best for the parents to know, so that they can help and support their girls. but there are many, many more - sadly - in which mandatory notification of the parents could have unpleasant to appalling consequences. The law should sand as it is.

stand not sand

I think the decision to leave formal education and start full time work is pretty life-changing - perhaps more life-changing for some women than an abortion, perhaps far less life-changing for others. Depends on your life, I suppose.

i think that if a teenage girl falls pregnant she has a right to make her own decission why do so many go and seek abortion advice? because they know it is confidental.

if parents had to be told probably 8 out of 10 wouldn't go,which i guess would be a good thing if you were anti abortion, but then you are going to have so many girls having unwanted babies because they still won't be able to tell there parents and by the time the mother realises that her daughter is pregnant it will be to late to do anything about it.

i would imagine that most mothers would probably concider taking there daughter for an abortion any way so surley it makes no differance if the mother knows or not.
if the teenager is having sex then i think she would be old enough to sit a make a decission as long as every thing from procedure to after effects(mental) are fully explained.

i guess all we can do as said earlier is make sure we educate our children on sex and how easy it is to fall pregnant, so they aren't nieve and think it won't ever happen to me.

maybe all schools should hand out those interactive dolls that cry need feeding etc then give you a read out weither the doll has been thrown against the wall, ignored ,not fed , then maybe that might make many think twice.

mind you i think that the biggest problem is that many sexually active teenagers are probably to embarrassed to ask the sexual partner to put on a condom. maybe the answer is ,if you think that your daughter may be sexually active suggest they go on the pill.

This has really profound echos of the feminist argument on the fundamental right to abortion and contraception. It's about autonomy over your own fertility, isn't it? Still and probably forever the most powerful thing a woman will possess. If all parents were to give unconditional support to a girl no matter what her dentition there would be no need for legislation but we don't live in an ideal world and many parents do and would put themselves first in a situation of this sort. I know my own mother would have found it impossible to be of any constructive help as she's been in a prolonged state of depression for decades now and what were symptoms are now just an embittered personality, incapable of empathy.

..What about the boy's parents? Is she wanting them to be told too?

I'd argue with that. All our decisions affect other's lives as well as our own. No man is an island and all that. But I'm just being argumentative for the sake of it!

In this weather?

True, but I'm thinking more of girls who opt to have abortions. For some, it may be a source of regret and pain for the rest of their lives, for others, it will be a blessed solution to a problem with no drawbacks at all. And for the latter group, leaving education may be a bigger deal.