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Decluttering thread 7 - as the days lengthen we’ll feel more motivated to declutter

1000 replies

stealthninjamum · 13/02/2024 16:24

Sorry for the long thread title, I’ve just seen that the old thread has reached 1,000 posts.

For newbies this thread and the old one a day threads are for a group of mumsnetters who are decluttering. We’ll share tips and advice and inevitably the conversation moves on to organisation tips, pretty storage solutions and persuading our families to join in.

We’re all at different stages of decluttering so join us for support and chat.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
DifficultBloodyWoman · 04/04/2024 12:46

@stealthninjamum you mentioned a link between clutter and weight so I wondered if you had read Peter Walsh’s book ‘Lose The Clutter, Lose The Weight: The Six-Week Total-Life Slim Down’?

I read it a while ago, very unsuccessfully. But I picked it up again recently and it is actually much more useful this time around.

obessedwithorganising · 04/04/2024 13:39

@stealthninjamum thank you!... that is all really helpful and great advice. I'm thinking of starting small, maybe just kitchen cupboards or clothes wardrobes to build it up, and I think that way I will slowly gain more understanding of how emotions are involved. Also really good to point out about diff people needing it different ways. Excellent idea re having information available re how to donate etc. I actually hadn't thought of that. I was all busy with my lists of where to buy the storage baskets from! This is what makes me so nervous.... turning a 'hobby' / something I enjoy, into a service I can charge for. Happy to go very very slowly while I learn my way...

PuttingDownRoots · 04/04/2024 14:07

@stealthninjamum I don't know if this will help you, but you can donate unwanted lego back to Lego now for community projects. Its called Lego Replay, just started in the UK.

stealthninjamum · 04/04/2024 15:57

@DifficultBloodyWoman ooh that’s really interesting, I’ve heard Peter Walsh on podcasts and found him quite arrogant, but I have bought a copy of the book anyway. I noticed he’d also done some kind of workbook doing room by room. I’m not buying it because I think I’m almost at the end of my declutter but I thought I’d mention it in case anyone else is interested. I think my main reason for being overweight at the moment is the stress of caring for two autistic kids with loads of needs but I’ve recently been doing lots of to do lists and keeping on top of the house and I am feeling much more positive today. I think I’m going to start slotting the gym and swimming into my routines.

Thanks @PuttingDownRoots that is really good to know. I think I might give myself til Christmas to do it and then donate everything I don’t get round to doing. It’s in the playroom at the moment which we don’t use.

OP posts:
IndianSummer78 · 04/04/2024 16:10

Realfastfoodie · 04/04/2024 10:56

I think there are probably a couple of things to think about:

  1. Making your process and costs really transparent - I just wouldn’t begin to know what to expect from a service like this, how much it would cost, and that would put me off even enquiring
  2. Thinking about the emotional side and the shame or stress a lot of us have which is driving all of this clutter. How would you support that?

Sorry these aren’t suggestions, but I hope they are helpful.

This is vitally important. I tried to access a completely different type of service a few years ago.

The first person said they were full up and not taking on new clients, they ignored my question about cost. This meant I didn't know whether it would be worth asking them again in a year's time if I still needed help, when perhaps they would have space.

They also asked "have you... xyz?" which was problematic because their question assumed a prior knowledge of the subject, which I didn't possess being only at the very beginning of my journey into it. It was difficult to answer because what they were asking sounded like a general thing, leading me to wonder if they were talking about when this or that happened, but were in fact legal terms relating to specific procedures that I knew nothing about. So when you're talking about decluttering and everything that may come with it such as hoarding, tenancy, social services, therapy, medical help, emotional problems or disability etc surrounding it, don't assume your potential client knows anything about anything and make yourself explicitly clear when asking any questions. If, as I suspect, you know nothing about these additional issues yourself, you'll need to make that clear to your clients. Don't just smile and nod when they talk about things you don't understand. As a professional, clients are likely to expect you to have knowledge surrounding your particular subject and believe you're somebody they could ask advice of, so is important not to give bad advice.

The second person replied to my email about availability and costs with a wishy washy email about having an initial assessment and taking it from there. This was problematic because if I don't know the cost of the initial assessment, how do I know if I can afford it? Moreover, whether I can afford the cost of the initial assessment or not, if I can't afford the cost of the ongoing sessions, there's absolutely no point in even having the initial assessment and it would have been throwing money away.

So please realise you could be dealing with people in poverty who are counting every penny and going without something else to afford your service. They need to know what all the potential costs are.

I gave up and never did get the help I needed and two professionals lost a potential client, totally due to their being unable to put themselves in my shoes and see things from my perspective.

Have you considered all the sensible aspects of starting this business? You'll need third party insurance for if you cause damage to someone's property and possibly professional indemnity insurance, so you don't have to pay out of your own pocket if you cause harm through negligence. If this is to be your only or main income, loss of earnings insurance for if you become sinck, injured or permanently incapacitated and if you have dependant family, life insurance in case you die so they're not left with nothing. If you want a state pension you'll have to pay Class 3 voluntary national insurance contributions, in addition to the Classes 1 and 2(? I think, maybe it's 4? 2 might be PAYE, I can't remember, you'll have to look into it) you legally must pay as a business owner, as these don't count towards your state pension. You'll need to decide whether you're going to keep your own books and file your own tax return or pay a bookkeeper and accountant for those.

daffodil2023 · 04/04/2024 16:18

@Jellycatrabbit ahh I hear you, that sounds so tough!! Hopefully they stop asking you soon 🙏🏻

I've promised my grandma to go and help her declutter for a day in a few weeks. She thinks everything is worth something so at this stage I feel like taking a bunch of stuff and giving her some cash 'from a car boot sale'. Families eh!

Well done on the vinted sales 🙏🏻

IndianSummer78 · 04/04/2024 16:18

jellycat I'd tell your parents straight that you're not going to store your sisters stuff for her, ever, so to stop trying to put it on you. They need to either man up and tell you sister that her choices are she collects her stuff and takes it home with her or they're going to bin it because they're not willing to store it any more. Either that or they accept that they have decided to store it and shut up about it. It must be driving you crazy them going on about it each visit. It's probably a good idea in terms of boundary setting too, to have them know you can't be ground down into doing whatever they want by them going on about it constantly. Otherwise you'll have problems when they get old and need more help, refusing carers etc because they want family to do it. Your sister is taking advantage expecting them to store it, they need to deal with that.

IndianSummer78 · 04/04/2024 16:23

I'm thinking of starting small, maybe just kitchen cupboards or clothes wardrobes to build it up, and I think that way I will slowly gain more understanding of how emotions are involved

Honestly this is unethical. What you're proposing is learning from your mistakes, learning from your clients. You could be dealing with people who have poor mental health, although even ifghey have good mental health it's still not their job to teach you. They're paying you for a service, you should come equipped with the knowledge to carry out that service, not expect to learn as you go along. That results in a substandard service provided and represents poor value for money for the client.

obessedwithorganising · 04/04/2024 18:43

@IndianSummer78 Thank you for everything you have pointed out to me. A lot of things I hadn't really considered, and of course, I really do need to. I wasn't thinking about learning on the job whilst parading as a professional, more like doing some very small jobs with no charge whilst being clear to potential customers that this is a new venture and I'm trying to learn more about what is expected and what is needed. But, your points are all very valid and important. Thank you.. I am going to do a lot more research I think first x

Realfastfoodie · 04/04/2024 19:06

@IndianSummer78 - you make some great points. The mental health and financial considerations are potentially really significant.

One of the things I do like with that Stacey Solomon programme is that they make it clear that they have sometimes got some outside help and professional advice (eg with the single dad who had lost his wife, or creating a suitable environment for prospective foster parents).

I agree with @stealthninjamum also that some additional learning about how neurodiversity affects the systems that will work for different people.

LivingInaBuiltSite · 04/04/2024 20:09

My DH admitted today that he is adding to the mess by being at home more. He asked the cleaner to do an extra hour which is fine but I pay her! 🙄

he is trying to do things to be helpful, like laundry, but honestly I have to spell out the obvious so it’s very frustrating.

I have a few days off in a row so hoping to tackle some jobs which will help clear areas which will lead to more decluttering. Maybe.

Jobs I’ve thought of so far to keep myself accountable:

  1. clean patio with new patio cleaner thingie that’s still in its box from January
  2. hang up as many pictures as poss/get rid of some
  3. decide about the shelves we used to have as cat shelves/put up or get rid will add more as I think of them

316

daffodil2023 · 04/04/2024 23:47

@obessedwithorganising exciting that you're thinking of a new career :)

I think others have made good points already. I'd definitely say it's worth doing a course of some sort if you're not confident with where to start - I think even Dana K White offers one, might be worth a look? I think Marie Kondo does too. And there will be plenty of lesser known but potentially better courses out there too. Although also keep in mind DKW and MK didn't start by doing courses, they learnt from their own situations and expanded from there. There will also be federations/professional accreditation that will likely offer good advice to people thinking of starting a business in this area.

Often a great way to do research about a profession is to use the service, so might be worth paying for a couple of hours (maybe on behalf of a friend, and you be present?) to see what the experience is like? Not to steal their ideas but just to get a feel of what is and isn't possible, and get you thinking about how you might like to work.

I think the idea about understanding reasons for why clutter builds up is really important, but there will also be clients that just need a bit of help getting back on track because they're busy with work/had a major life event e.g. moving house or had a baby. It's always worthwhile to do CPD courses to enhance your knowledge and skills and there are a lot out there on different subjects e.g. hoarding/ADHD etc etc that I'm sure you could find.

I hear what you're saying though about just wanting to give it a go in someone else's space to get a feel for what it's like and if it's even a job you'd want to do. Why not offer out to family and friends? Neighbours? A local business you know? Your child's (if you have one) school? Ask them if they've got a messy drawer you could get your hands on, or a cupboard that doesn't close properly. I think using your own network is probably your best bet to try out on because you'll have a better understanding of whether you're dealing with a messy cupboard they've just not had a chance to sort, or something else such as deeper rooted MH issues. Once you've had a chance to try on people close to you, you could move on to friends of friends etc. Eventually I'm sure you'll think 'right, I know what I'm doing here, and I can see I'm making a positive impact and supporting the client whilst I do it, so I should start charging for my services now'.

Another note - I expect it's a fairly saturated market but that doesn't mean there's not a gap in the market in your area, and in most industries there's plenty of room for everyone to operate anyway. If it's what you love doing, it's well worth a shot at making it work. Good luck!!

IndianSummer78 · 05/04/2024 00:22

One hair product finished up (7 left) and one foundation too (many left). Total is 2042

obessedwithorganising · 05/04/2024 09:25

@daffodil2023 Thank you for your lengthy response and many good points and suggestions. I think that this is why I have tried a few times, and end up giving up as it feels like such a mountain to climb. I'm going to make up the lists of things I need to look into and not rush into anything. Once I've gathered all the relevant information, and other suggestions from several of you, I can then reassess and decide what I'm going to do. Thank you :)

stealthninjamum · 05/04/2024 10:07

@LivingInaBuiltSite its great that your dh is at least realising he’s adding to the mess yet it must be frustrating that as an adult he needs support. I guess you need to train him. I wondered what the thing you got for the patio was, is it some kind of product or device? I have quite a large patio / path area that’s full of moss and was thinking of using our jet washer on it but I know it’ll take a day minimum (and I don’t even know if our jet washer works as it belongs to exh and hasn’t been used for about 20 years)

Today I’ve decluttered a special microfibre hair towel as it’s small and doesn’t work. It’s been hanging on my bathroom door for about two years.

OP posts:
LivingInaBuiltSite · 05/04/2024 14:53

Dh means well, he’s just a generally more chaotic person than me. For eg, when he’s cooking he’ll put a mucky wooden spoon on the counter, I won’t. He says he’ll clean up the mess and sometimes does. But sometimes doesn’t. I try and avoid making any kind of mess in the first place, like getting a small plate to rest a mucky spoon on. That’s just a small example of our different mindsets.

I have finally filed the Christmas orchestra music so that’s 3 bags out of the hallway.

The patio cleaner challenge is happening tomorrow, it’s an added bit that should attach to my jet washer, 🤞.

  1. clean patio with new patio cleaner thingie that’s still in its box from January
  2. hang up as many pictures as poss/get rid of some
  3. decide about the shelves we used to have as cat shelves/put up or get rid
  4. go through kitbag and repack for work - Started
  5. drop off too small dance clothes to a friend

316+3=319

PuttingDownRoots · 05/04/2024 17:03
  1. I've just binned what was my "favourite" face mask. It felt good letting go of some anger over the last few years. I've no idea why it was still here. I don't want it. Its not useful. Its just a painful reminder of a time that needs forgetting.
PuttingDownRoots · 05/04/2024 17:41

In fact... every face mask is now in fabric recycling!!!!

IndianSummer78 · 05/04/2024 17:50

One module of college work unearthed and gone into recycling. Total is 2043

Pigtailsandall · 05/04/2024 19:25

Ah I'm sick of decluttering. It's particularly hard when you do ot with family members. I think I'm done for now. My mum will just need to sit on the remaining stuff or ship it - I'll pick it up next time we visit. We have 4 days left and I want to spend it on other stuff.

Out on the last round:
5 more books
2 paintings
1 set of course work papers
2004 diary
Jewellery pouch
And pair of crappy knickers I wore yesterday for good measure

Total is 623

Pigtailsandall · 05/04/2024 19:31

@Jellycatrabbit I have a similar problem. When my grandmother died, she left behind a fur coat from the 50s for my mum. My mum is tiny but I'm tall and broad-shouldered like grandma so mum decided she'd pass the inheritance on to me. No way I'd wear that! I declined, but because she also does not want to deal with it, she keeps calling it "pigtails' fur". I have told her a million times to not make it my problem, but she asks me everytime when I'll take it home. It's so frustrating but I'm firm. I recommend you set your boundaries too.

daffodil2023 · 05/04/2024 19:32

obessedwithorganising · 05/04/2024 09:25

@daffodil2023 Thank you for your lengthy response and many good points and suggestions. I think that this is why I have tried a few times, and end up giving up as it feels like such a mountain to climb. I'm going to make up the lists of things I need to look into and not rush into anything. Once I've gathered all the relevant information, and other suggestions from several of you, I can then reassess and decide what I'm going to do. Thank you :)

You're welcome! Starting any business is a mountain to climb but you can definitely do it. Sending so much luck to you Flowers

IndianSummer78 · 05/04/2024 20:12

Pigtails that old fur likely has value, take it and sell it.

PuttingDownRoots · 05/04/2024 23:02
  1. Odd socks. We have far too many socks. I made 150 pairs today... ivereduced an over flowing laundry basket of odd socks to about a quarter.

  2. Broken holdall

DifficultBloodyWoman · 05/04/2024 23:10

PuttingDownRoots · 05/04/2024 23:02

  1. Odd socks. We have far too many socks. I made 150 pairs today... ivereduced an over flowing laundry basket of odd socks to about a quarter.

  2. Broken holdall

150 pairs as in 300 socks???? I thought you’d only find those numbers in shops!

May I share my tip?

I only buy socks in one style and colour per person. My socks are white ankle socks that work with trainers and boots. I never match them. They are all the same. When one eats a hole, it gets thrown out. I don’t throw out a pair.

DH has black socks. It’s the same deal. Buy in bulk, throw one out at a time instead of a pair.

DSS has navy socks. (And one pair to go with his sports uniform which are unmistakable and get washed the muddy sports uniform, not with the rest of the socks).

I never need to match socks again.

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