Too many toys, too much everything!

[Jacketandbeans]

I am feeling utterly overwhelmed by stuff. I have three DC aged 6, 3 and a baby.
We have really generous grandparents and family who buy lovely presents for the kids, I'm so grateful for that, but I can't cope with the mess anymore.
We are currently living in a small place with no storage and will move soon, but even when we move we won't have a loft or garage (loft is converted), but we will have a bedroom per child and small shed.

My main issue is that most of their toys are really good toys, loads of much cherished Lego and Playmobil. sooooo much Lego and it's all built and they won't take it apart.
We have loads of Playmobil sets, all the pirate sets, castles, swimming pools, you name it.
Every time there is a birthday all the family members ask what to buy so it's not like they just buy any old crap, but when you add up everything, each birthday means an influx of about 10 new toys, and Christmas is worse.

Clothes is another issue, we just have too many and I can't get on top of it. They grow out of things before the next one needs it, and I can't find places to put them.

What do you all do?!? And please don't say toy rotations and put them in the loft as we can't do that. I can just picture every year the build up getting worse, I want to enjoy life, not be stressing over this all the time.
God I sound like such a drama queen but it's really getting to me.

If family are already thoughtful enough to ask for ideas, then could you start suggesting non physical things / things that will disappear (food/bath stuff/craft supplies) / stuff they need anyway that you otherwise would have had to buy.

I'm thankful that my relatives have been happy to do this, and gifts over the last few years have included:
Museum annual pass
Vouchers for climbing wall
Trip to the zoo
Vouchers for local cafe
PJs
Bedroom lamp
Picture for bedroom wall

That doesn't solve your storage problem now, but would help control the influx in future.

I think also becoming comfortable with a less-is-more mindset really helps. If you hate managing lots of stuff, but still kind of believe that your kids are better off having 10 Playmobil sets/dresses/board games rather than 2 or 3, then stopping the influx and getting rid will be hard...

PS huge Playmobil fans in our house, but I realized my kids mainly play with the little bits & people and not the huge buildings. I've put away/avoided getting big buildings and the little bits from multiple sets mostly live in one cardboard box.

Highly recommend following the decluttered mom on Instagram, I am working through her course after feeling exactly the same! The kids and I have got a lot better at giving stuff away and asking for non physical presents as PP suggests.

Thanks for your responses so far. The experience idea is great except my 6 year old just wouldn't see it as a gift at this age. Perhaps it's a sign my kids are too spoilt but they don't think of days out as presents or treats really yet. I'm hoping that will change in the next few years when he wants to go to theme parks etc and realises they cost a fortune.
I've followed the decluttered mom on Instagram.

Pressed too early, thanks for recommending her.
Any other tips very welcome

Donation Donation Donation :D Where we stay we have a couple of baby/kids shops that sell pre loved toys, clothes, furniture you name it. Research where in your local area donations are needed. Any charity will happily take these things off your hands. Involve your children too explaining you do this so other children can have nice things too

I made it a habit to have a bag near my changing station, most clothes DS has outgrown will be donated. Also with toys, I'm keeping the favourites but the ones he is not interested or hasn't played with in a while go too.

I am a bit sentimental when it comes to his baby grows, so I have a dedicated box with clothing as keep sake or I can't part with yet.

For every 10 new toys coming in 2 old ones per child will have to go.

Hey, funny coïncidence, I spent the whole day today decluttering. I have two DS (4 and 2).

• Just throwing away broken toys/books filled a few garbage bags
• All the stuff they no longer play with, or that they have shown little interest in, was set aside to be donated
• Same with all the baby books that my youngest has outgrown - I know you have a young baby but just keep the best ones, the ones your oldest loved to read time and time again. Baby will receive new ones anyway for birthdays and christmas.
• At the same time I tidied up everything, just that makes me feel like there's way more space already

At this age they're a bit young still to understand decluttering so I'd do this while they're in school. If you're not sure whether something will be missed, set is aside - if no one asks for it in a while, you'll know it's safe to donate it.

My GDs are now 7, 4 and 4.....I got them theatre/ show tickets for christmas and am taking them all away as a joint birthday present.

You could resell too, Vinted is easy to use. Add the money to savings accounts for each child.

I'd say that doesn't really matter! Mine were around 3 and 5 when given some of those experiences. Of course on Christmas day itself they weren't that bothered and were distracted by things in wrapping paper, but does that matter?
Also children aren't born expecting a certain number of presents to unwrap or a certain value of gifts, they'll accept as normal whatever they receive. And yours are still young enough for you to start changing that normal - without feeling guilty in the slightest.
If you talk about receiving experiences for gifts as normal and exciting and just as good (or better) than physical stuff, then they'll accept that. From the sound of it, it's not as if there won't be anything left to unwrap anyway!

I agree with the asking for experiences or usable items that don't stay in the house forever.

I am struggling too with the levels of stuff, especially clothes and toys. I know I need to cull the quantity but youngest plays with everything! It's going to be quite a chore but I'm determined to claw back more space.

I've been listing things on vinted. It's helped motivate me as the money has been helpful. I also always have a charity shop bag on the go.

Your kids don't need to understand as PP says above and it sounds like the eldest could do with getting less material gifts. I started getting my three year old to learn about donating (and rotation even earlier) so it was never an endless incoming of "stuff". I think that's how kids end up spoilt. You could also do toy swaps with friends. Mine love this. After the swap it goes back or with consent gets donated so we end up with less at the end of the three month swap.

OP I could have written your exact post, except I'm ashamed to say we do have quite a large house and loft, and still stuff everywhere.

I tried to have a bit of a declutter yesterday but it's hard, I don't want to donate or sell things that the younger two will use one day. I'd love to donate toys the eldest has stopped playing with or clothes he's outgrown but I have 2 other ones coming up behind who will use them. If we didn't have the littlest one it would be easier but we are at the stage (as you are) of having primary aged toys, books, games, nursery aged toys, books and games AND baby stuff. One thing I thought I might do is keep on top of

• broken/used up toys
• me and DH's stuff
• communal spaces ie ensure kitchen cupboards/garage/hallway etc are decluttered

That might help me feel less like there's clutter everywhere.

I can't imagine being in a smaller house, we fill every corner as it is! I'm just biding my time until they are bigger and their stuff gets smaller. I don't have any tips really. Just sympathy...

It’s hard with the ages yours are because you have bulky baby things as well as toys for older children. It’s also hard to get rid of things the older ones have outgrown or don’t play with so much because the younger ones will.

Give it a couple of years and the older one will have fewer toys and all the baby and toddler stuff can go. That helps a lot.

In the meantime, as it sounds like yours have good quality toys that do get played with try to minimise what comes in rather than getting rid of existing stuff that they love.

I have four children and the younger ones have a lot of stuff handed down from the older ones. I tried to keep the more open ended stuff rather than the interest specific stuff because they’re all different.

For Lego models when one of mine was into leaving their models built I got them a narrow bookcase, all the models were displayed on the shelves and the boxes of bricks were at the bottom. Just helped having them all in one place rather than Lego models all over the house!

We have boxes of clothes waiting for younger ones to grow into. I weed through it though and really only keep the basics, anything holey or stained goes straight away and I tend not to keep much character stuff because 1) they might not be into that character and 2) character clothing is way more exciting so makes a great birthday or Christmas present idea for someone rather than yet more toys!

Thanks for all your replies, definitely given me some things to think about. Can anyone give me some specific examples of experience gifts?
It would really help. I might try and change Christmas so they get a present from Santa, but our present is always an experience. I might struggle to get grandparents on board with that but at least it would reduce it a bit. My 6 year old is so toy focussed, but he does genuinely play with all his toys and appreciate them so it's not like they get discarded or unloved.

It doesn't help that my parents show love by giving, I can't seem to get them to understand that we don't need more and more things. When I grew up I always got loads of presents so even I struggle with giving less. I'm so against the way society has become so consumerist as well, I really despise it! I have so many clothes that have been bought for me and barely worn, but I feel guilty giving them away.
My DH and his siblings were only ever given one present for Christmas and birthday as kids and they don't do any gift giving at all as adults. We went to stay at his parents recently and I felt so calm. it is so empty and peaceful there. He had a lovely childhood so doesn't feel he missed out. The fact I dreaded coming home was my trigger to try to get on top of it.

I should add that we don't have mountains of stuff, but we do live in a very small space at the moment, but I don't want our next house to feel full straight away.

I like the idea of Lego shelves, that might help keep some of it higher up and out of the way, I think some good toy storage solutions are the way to go.

You're over thinking it. You have to be the parent. They're tiny DC they're not capable of deciding what's best for the home re amount of toys, so you don't expect them to make that decision, you make it for them. None of this "they won't take Lego apart". You tell them, "it's your birthday next week, you're going to get lots of new presents, so some of these old ones we will give to another child who doesn't have any toys (the charity shop)". You find out which ones are their favourite and keep those. If you've got too much you'll have to do "one in, two out" until you're down to a manageable level. If they tantrum you deal with it, as the parent. If they struggle letting go and missing things I'd suggest taking a photo of each one, printing out and having a craft session where the pictures go into a scrap book and they have a story to go with each one which they help make up (you'll have to write it given the ages), then they haven't lost the toy completely. But I expect it'll mostly be a case of "out of sight, out of mind", especially once the new toys have arrived.

I think you are overthinking it too. You, and therefore your dc, are placing too high a value on material items. Take down the Lego! They can build it again if they want. That's the point of Lego.

Don't feel guilty at giving away clothes that you don't wear and that are taking up space in your own home. They are only clothes not baby orphaned kittens.

Tell your parents to show love by taking the dc out to the zoo. Or by putting money in an account for driving lessons.

It's very easy to buy clothes and toys for small children but it's teenagers that cost a billion pounds to kit out with enormous shoes and laptops.

Also don't keep anything outgrown for the next child down. That's for frugal people and your parents aren't frugal so the next one down will be bought plenty anyway. Don't feel guilty about consumerism because it wasn't you who bought most of this stuff in the first place and there's no need to feel guilty for giving to those less fortunate than yourselves, even if the things you're donating are nearly new.

'they are only clothes not baby orphaned kittens' 😂 this tickled me, thank you.

We have 2 plastic boxes in the hallway, one for bin and one for the local foodbank who give out clothes and toys....we aim to put one item a day in these boxes and when full the contents are disposed of.....Also no new stuff comes into the house unless its a replacement item !

Your six year old could take photos, with a phone, of the models made. Print them and keep them in a book of ‘ideas’.

Sorry...then dismantle them of course!

OP I’m like you!!!! Mine are 9, 6 and 3, so I’m a little further down the line. Things that help us- we give the kids little or nothing- knowing MIL will give loads (so much that the rule is that it mostly stays at her house!). My mum asks for very specific requests (much studying of playmobil and Lego catalogues ahead of birthdays and Xmas…). I LOVE hand-me-down clothes, so I do keep things- I have an ottoman bed with labelled bags by age under. I only keep the stuff I actually like though, and that I think will get wear.
but we’ve not cracked it by any means, so don’t take my advice, we are drowning too!!
Experiences that have gone down well- nutcracker tickets at Xmas for my ballerina fan 6 year old. Football tickets (an England match once!) when the big one was into that. Family trip
to the water park for the little one.

@DustyDoorframes so you are me in 3 years time 😁
I like the idea of an ottoman bed. I was watching Stacey Solomon 'sort your life out' the other day and was amazed at how much can fit under an ottoman! We are moving soon so I think I'll suggest it.
Also that's a good idea about a family day out for the small ones. My baby wouldn't have a clue for at least a few more years but at least then the older ones see he has got something.

I use those clear bags that you use a vacuum cleaner to suck air out of, to store clothes passed down from my eldest to youngest, have a big age gap. They live on top shelf in a wardrobe or in the drawer under the bed in their room.

Toys and books is another matter. All lounge storage and space is for toys and books! However, soon enough mine will want few toys - so am just embracing it for now! I tend to buy the practical gifts and let relatives buy the fun toys!