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Housekeeping

Find cleaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Housekeeping forum.

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Original poster

Dirtiest house you've been in?!

88 replies

fizzychuck89 · 13/07/2015 11:16

Hi. This is my first post and I'm new here????
was just startingmy daily routine, but today feel like I'm on a major ocd rampage as visited a friends house that was seriously filthy and it's set me off..Their house stinks of cats and dogs,the kitchen sides are manky, bits all over the floors, and downstairs loo full of washing and skidders down the toilet???? I could go into more detail, but I'll leave it there...oh and it was a party so there were about 20 guests arriving at the house.
What's the dirtiest house you've been in? I had to wipe my feet on the way out!

OP posts:

SurlyCue · 14/07/2015 21:03

FFS do people actually know what OCD is? Stop throwing around terms you dont understand.

LinkDat · 14/07/2015 21:33

Well said SurlyCue

woodhill · 14/07/2015 21:50

sometimes my dirty laundry is on the utility room floor but not for long. usually my ds has dropped it there. do have laundr5ey bins. floor always cleaned regularly

GobblersKnob · 14/07/2015 23:13

Very well said SurlyCue (great name btw :) )

I have (diagnosed) OCD and my house is currently a tip ffs, OCD doesn't equate an over fondness for Mr Sheen

SurlyCue · 14/07/2015 23:43

thank you, i have often admired your name too from a distance!

Exactly. Hoarding is a form of OCD for example. People think OCD means lining up your mantlepiece ornaments and hoovering every day. Oh how easy life would be if that was all it was.

perfectlybroken · 15/07/2015 03:25

This thread makes a pretty sad read, it can't be nice to live like this. As well as mh issues I think inadequate housing can be an issue. Though I know of 2 families with 6 kids living in spotless 2 bed terraced houses, so it can be done.

Original poster

fizzychuck89 · 15/07/2015 08:25

I think we all have a bit of OCD in is to some extent, it's just which end of the scale do you fit?
I am guilty to referring to certain things I do as OCD, I'm well aware that some people might find me difficult to live with but I am not actually OCD , as I said my grandmother is and it's a proper illness. its on her mind 24/7 and she used to say she couldn't not do certain things incase some him bad happened...
I do not think about cleaning or germs 24/7 , I can switch off and as much as sometimes I might like to I don't follow the kids around with a dishcloth!

OCD really wasn't the point of the thread, it was really just out of interest! I do apologise to anyone I may have offended.
On another note, I visited my dad and his girlfriend's massive house yesterday and it is SPOTLESS. everything is white and glossy, there's no clutter or even random bits and pieces anywhere. They don't even own a toilet brush. made me feel like I didn't want to come home to my house !!

OP posts:

Twinkie1 · 15/07/2015 08:27

The dirtiest house I have been in belonged to a mumsnetter!!

BradleyCooperwillbemine · 15/07/2015 09:06

Like two of the previous posters, I worked as a housing officer for a local authority and saw photographs of both the sink and bath full to the brim with poo. The neighbour has reported brown liquid coming from the overflow.

Also, years ago when meeting my very first customer as a cleaner, her 'phone rang and she couldn't find it. I took 3 of us to rummage through all the crap in her hallway and stairs to locate it.

SurlyCue · 15/07/2015 09:47

Your grandmother is not OCD! She has OCD. It is a disorder. You cant be a disorder. You can have one. It's like saying "my grandmother is depression" which is clearly ridiculous.

missqwerty · 15/07/2015 10:54

Surly cue there's no need to be so defensive. I have pure O yet I don't get offended with the link to ocd and perfectionism. I think people get confused by obsessive compulsive personality disorder verses obsessive compulsive disorder that's all. I'm guilty of joking around that a friend has ocd because she hoovers twice a day, it's banter really.

SurlyCue · 15/07/2015 10:59

Ahh! "Banter" that ol' forgive all cop out

I havent been defensive, i have pointed out a common mistake people make due to either ignorance or misunderstanding of the condition. And even if i had been defensive then actually i do think there is a need because people casually throwing around incorrect terms damages the perceptions and understanding of the actual real condition. It may not bother you. That does not mean it's not ok for others to be bothered.

Original poster

fizzychuck89 · 15/07/2015 11:10

okay surlycue, I apologise for the use of "is" instead of "has". That is how she talks herself as in "i am OCD. " rather than "I have OCD".
Again, didn't mean to cause offense !!!!

people joke about me having OCD, and I do myself, as I said I like everything away and not much on show, etc. I am aware that it is an actual illness. Much the same as when DH has a cold and says "I'm dying!"

OP posts:

Forgetmenotblue · 15/07/2015 11:15

It's bloody horrible and limiting have OCD. It's not that "we are all a bit OCD", it's that some of us get diagnosed and treated because our O/Cs become very damaging to our families and our own quality of life.

I have a fairly strict (to me) schedule of cleaning that I stick to otherwise I will do too much and get O about it. I have had to learn to live with a certain amount of "germs" and not get stressed about it. Sometimes have to lay off the good housekeeping threads as they are a bit triggering.

woodhill · 15/07/2015 11:16

my dds used to joke that I had OCD because I was trying to stay on top of the mess that they were mainly creating. I haven't. I like things to look nice but can forget it as it is not the be all and end all of my life.

I really sympathise with the people who cannot walk away from a situation and it controls their lives I believe it manifests itself in other areas apart from cleaning. It is a way of controlling a difficult situation when you have no control over another area of your life possibly?

SurlyCue · 15/07/2015 11:18

You dont have to apologise. I was just pointing out your/your grandmother's mistake. Maybe you could show her too so she is referring to her condition correctly rather than sounding like one of those idiots who proclaim loudly at every opportunity "I'm a wee bit OCD"

SophiePendragon · 15/07/2015 11:23

Horrible thread for all sorts of reasons.

Ignorance of MH issues

Ignorance about OCD

Ignorance in general

and disgusting descriptions that no one needs to read.

I think I will hide it now.

Forgetmenotblue · 15/07/2015 11:23

woodhill yes definitely can be. And cleaning is a small part...not everyone manifests like that. Checking is actually my biggest thing. I used do a job with a lot of responsibilty for people's safety, I was good at it. Then my daughter was very unwell for a time (all ok now, thank goodness), and my usual conscientiousness got way out of hand. I used to get up In the night and go back to work (key holder) to check I had left things safely. Or drive back to the shops etc to check I hadn't run anyone over but not noticed (!).

It was a miserable time. Had v good NHS treatment of CBT and anti depressants and got much better though. I always feel like it's a slippery slope though and I could easily slide back into it, esp. If I am over tired or stressed etc.

SurlyCue · 15/07/2015 11:26

I believe it manifests itself in other areas apart from cleaning. It is a way of controlling a difficult situation when you have no control over another area of your life possibly?

Yes mine really took hold when my relationship ended. I was suddenly a lone parent on benefits and very panicked about how i would manage. I started reading lots of frugal type blogs for tips which led to me "holding on to" things which i believed would be useful. It really only became clear to me i had a problem when i was moving house and a friend asked me why one whole kitchen cupboard was rammed full of glass jars (from jam/pasta sauce etc) and even worse, why was i wrapping them to pack and move to new house. Other hoards included ribbons cut off clothes, cardboard boxes, dog food, cleaning cloths. It really was about retaining a sense of control, trying to stave off the "being without" i panicked so much about.

odthygis · 15/07/2015 11:28

I hate this use of the word OCD, as in the OP. It can be a debilitating condition which can affect functionality on a day-to-day basis. The crippling anxiety connected to everything also.

Original poster

fizzychuck89 · 15/07/2015 11:30

forgetme, I'm sorry if it's rude to ask, amd I hope I read your post correctly, but what sort of treatment have you had for OCD? I often think my grandmother could benefit from treatment, but at nearly 70 years old she is a wee bit stubborn and says it's how she is and she may as well live with it...
surlycue, yes maybe. although she is working class, and a bit stuck in her ways.

I do think we could all go either way though. In times of stress, I clean and organise, whereas some people don't bother, or even struggle to let things go and such hoarding begins. I just don't understand how people can't be house proud, and want to live in filth and mess, let alone raise children it! I'm not talking about general household clutter or a bit of dust, I do mean actually filthy.

also, must apologise for the many amd's instead of and's that appear in my posts, for some reason my phone doesn't seem to like the word "and" .

OP posts:

ArseForElbow · 15/07/2015 11:31

My neighbours, they have 6 DC and it shows, clothes everywhere, black bags of rubbish in the kitchen, no floors cleaned, rubbish just swept into a corner, Ive never ventured to the bathroom

ArseForElbow · 15/07/2015 11:33

My DS1 has OCD so I try keep our house to his standards.

Original poster

fizzychuck89 · 15/07/2015 11:42

Arseforelbow what sort of OCD does he have? Is it hard for you to keep it a certain way for him? How old is he?

OP posts:

Totallypearshaped · 15/07/2015 11:45

I think a lot of the problem is unDx mental health issues. Dyslexia makes it hard to tidy, and then depression means that getting through the day is challenge enough. OCD is very life limiting too, not just in a twee "Monica from friends" way.

When parents have very young and/ or SN kids, something like a deep clean seems so pointless, as it will all start again tomorrow.

During the toddler phase, I remember feeling despair at mashed banana being thrown on the walls I had just cleaned - it just seemed so relentless and never ending.

A cleaner can be worth their weight in gold, but very few people can afford one.

Most houses I go to are reasonable, except where the mum is depressed and the kids are SN, or have illness, and the dads aren't around. I try and steer the conversation to the garden.

I try not to judge, as I remember the feelings when my OCD mother wouldn't let me invite any friends around as, in her opinion, the house wasn't up to scratch and my friends would mess it. I wished for a more relaxed, normal house.

I think meeting friends in the park is a much better option for us all actually, get a bit of fresh air, and maybe someone should start opening chains of coffee shops all over the place or something like that!! Oh wait.....

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