Please share your decluttering 'rules'

[ThatllDoPig]

I really need to declutter. I need the space and the clarity. Been in this house nearly 5 years, and I thought anything I haven't used during this time I would clear out. But I make a start and just get stuck in a pit of confusion about it all.
William Morris said . . 'Have nothing in your house that you don't know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful'.
But what about things that might be useful one day, or ornaments and stuff that other people have given you as gifts?!
Any tips or thoughts much appreciated.

How do people get rid of books? Our charity shops seem inundated with them (Oxfam bookshop in Headingley is spread across three premises I think!) plus there's the hassle of getting them there when you work F-T. Is there an alternative? I wouldn't mind making a few quid off them but I would imagine that involves something like Green Metropolis and multiple trips to the Post Office.

My sister does carboots and ebays semi-professionally, I give it all to her.

LET ME ROUND!! I am possibly an over declutterer! I feel immense satisfaction in chucking stuff out I declutter about once a month!!

My (extreme) methods are, if not been used/worn for a month, it goes to charity (or eBay) gifts if i don't like them either get given away or put aside for other gifts! Unless it was a meaningful gift that i don't like in which case it has to go somewhere on display so I learn to love it!

Clothes: if I don't wear it cause I feel a bit funny in it it's gone, I don't believe in keeping clothes for when I get skinny/fatter I'd rather know everything I own fits!

Toys: I do a big declutter just before birthday and Christmas. So I always have the same amount of big and little toys.

Books I've not read ever or haven't read in a while get passed on!

People always call me when they need to declutter. I'm harsh unless it's sentimental!

Can I ask what people do about old duvets? I don't know how it's come about but we have several bagged up in the loft.

I think the problem originally is that DH went on a mission to buy new ones years ago, but came back with bargainous but crappy fibre-filled ones which clip together and scrunch up inside the cover, having thrown away all the packaging to save space in the car. So they were only used for a few months, but I don't seem to ever get around to doing anything with them. Anyone know if charity shops would take them?

We had men from Sky in today and they opened up a cupboard to take the box out, and had to move a pile of clutter unsorted admin, leaving it on the floor. I was mortified to discover several school photos waiting to be ordered, plus the dog's vaccination certificate!

I think failing to keep up with the paperwork is a major part of my permanent feeling of not-being-on-top-of-things, in spite of having, to all appearances, a really quite organised filing system. I keep so much stuff 'to be done,' or 'to be read,' and the piles never seem to reduce for more than a couple of hours before they've bred again.
Any suggestions?

God I'm going to start sounding so anal. I have one of those expandable files, sectioned into...well sections lol. (it took me a good half a day to sort it initially!) then when paperwork comes in I stick it next to the file and sit down once a month and sort through it all. It convinced me after about 2 months to change all my billing to online!

I found a cheque from 2009 today! Oops.

Maybe freecycle the duvets.

Thanks MM. < Thick > So is the concertina file sorted in sections for bills, receipts, school photos etc, then when you go through it you either action or file properly?
I have two box files, one 'to do' and one 'to file,' but I never seem to either 'do' or 'file,' so the kitchen table ends up having a permanent smattering of paper at one end.
I'm crap aren't I?

Yes I could freecycle the duvets - have to make sure they're clean first though < always something emoticon >.

You can take them to be washed at your local laundrette, although I'm quite sure anyone who takes them will do exactly the same thing first!

Rspca might take the duvets?

shotgun got council tax, sky, phone, bank statements, etc all separated. (like I said switched to online billing and it's a godsend!) I don't tend to get school stuff as DS is only 15 months. But any to do stuff gets put on notice board in kitchen where I see it about 1000 times a day. I also have a whiteboard next to notice board with a list of things to do on it so I really can't forget. I am anal aren't I

Oh, I do have a wall calendar but forget to look at it!

I have one of them too aaanal. Maybe I should change my name to analmcanalson!

Thanks for all answers. Lots of good motivating ideas. I will get started. Thinking about it more carefully, I have realised that there is one particular thing that I am worrying about.
I have a big box of stuff in the attic, mostly writing, some art, from a strange time in my life. I had a bit of a breakdown and lots of counselling relating to family problems and abuse in my past. This expression helped in a massive way lots of it sort of saved me. I haven't looked at much of it since, but it is getting on for ten years ago that this stuff came into existence, and life has changed so much since. The thing that worries me is that if I died, I wouldn't want dh or dcs to see all that madness to remember me by! As timewasting said should I get rid of stuff that makes me feel sad? But I am struggling with the idea of burning it all as it feels like getting rid of a big part of me, and something that helped me so much at the time. Plus, I have some kind of idea that some of the writing might somehow help others coming to terms with healing from childhood abuse. There is definately a book in there, but I don't really think I would want to spend the time exploring it again, or for my kids to know those kinds of details.

I think I need to burn it and let it go.

That sounds like something you need to 'cleanse'. Do you still have a counsellor? Perhaps talk through with them whether to burn it or keep it, then you have at least made a supported decision. Does DH know about it (the past) and would he support you through getting rid of it, or undertake not to look at it if you did suddenly go?

My tip is to do with those spots which gravitate clutter: windowsills, breakfast bars, corner of the hall. I thought it was clever to put a box or a basket there so that when stuff is dumped, it's at least dumped in a receptacle. I now know that this only works if you EMPTY IT REGULARLY!! That is my resolution - either that or do not allow things to be left there.

e.g. on my bathroom windowsill there is a box of soaps, a gap, then three baskets for often-used sprays / nail clippers / cleanser bottles / etc. one for DH, one for me and one for DS+toothpaste+babybuds. Guess what - the non-basketed-gap is now filled with clutter, because the soap box and baskets sort of "gave permission" for things to be put on that sill.

Re. filing. Get yourself some lovely files and once you've got a place for everything be really strict every time something comes into the house - look at it and either bin it immediately or file it and have a pending file if you don't want to deal with immediately. Amazingly I managed to convert DH to this system and he has become an obsessive filer himself! I think the point is once you have a system in place it is much easier to take control and it actually becomes quite enjoyable (in a sad sort of way!!). Mischievousmum you sound like me - I think it comes from moving house frequently in my case. I'm always thinking about whether I'd want to go to all the trouble of packing it, paying for it to be moved, unpacking it and finding a new place for it - amazing how that concentrates the mind. There is nothing like moving house for making you have a good clear out. Can't stand clutter - half the time people moan about their house being untidy when what they really need to do is chuck a lot of stuff out.

That'lldo A nce big bonfire for all the bits that you want to get rid of from that big box. As you put it in the fire acknowledge it as a bit of the past now gone, painful though it was to do it at the time, and thank it for helping you move on to the stronger healthier person you are now. Sounds daft, and might upset you a bit to do as it'll stir up old emotions but it's very cathartic and you'll feel better afterwards.

Plus one less big box in the loft!

ThatllDoPig - unless you seriously think you might right a book, I would definitely think of having a ceremonial bonfire. I actually think it could be really therapeutic - sort of saying "That's all behind me and now it's time to let go". I hate the word - but perhaps it would really be a form of closure.

I have a two-drawer filing cabinet for paperwork with suspended files for just about everything. There's a section for electricity, gas, mortgage, bank, my personal documents, DH's, DS's, bank stuff, receipts, car stuff, etc. It's really great. As soon as paperwork comes in the door it gets filed in the appropriate place. Very easy to file, very easy to find.

That's exactly the set-up I have, Dana - but I seem to lack the ability or wherewithal to actually deal with the admin and either action or file it!
Might do that today, actually - get rid of the backlog then keep on top.

Have spent all of January de cluttering and we moved just 8 months ago. That's scary as we de cluttered before the move but not enough!
I started with clothes, I have 3 dc so started there. Then mine and DH. Then onto drawers.
A week later I did books, then toys.
Then I walked around with a black bin liner to chuck out broken toys, kids art work (displayed some, just can't keep it all)
This am a women's refuge came to collect it all - cot, high chair, buggy, bedding, toys and books. My garage now empty, house clutter free and a family that REALLY need it gets it for free. It feels good and a win win situation.

Later today I am starting the enormous task of tackling paperwork. File and shred, file and shred!

I try not to let things get to the clutter stage in the first place.

I have a bag on the back of the laundry door, and the instant I identify something as not fitting or no longer needed, it goes in - I take things to the charity shop at least once a fortnight. It's much easier if you can do a constant process of gleaning than let it get to the stage you need a monumental week-off-work/book-a-skip type declutter.

And I very much agree with the poster who said control what comes into your house. If I can't visualise where exactly something is going to go, I don't buy it. If I buy something for the house (my great weakness), I do a strict trade-off and immediately sell whatever it's replacing.

Oh, and in answer to the OP, I am ruthless about ornaments and gifts. If I don't love it, I rehome it.

I said this on a thread about people buying their kids too many presents and got a , but I stand by it - just because somebody buys a gift doesn't oblige me to find room for it. I do keep some stuff - most of the things I'll be keeping as souvenirs from the baby stage were gifts from dear friends.

I find planning ahead also helps - by the time I'm halfway through a book I know whether it's going on a shelf or off to the charity shop when I've finished reading it.