If your child likes school but you want to HE...

[catnipkitty]

Hi

Anyone been in this position? I am more and more sure that HE is my ideal as far as education goes...DD1 started reception this year, and is doing ok so far - some days she loves it, others she's exhausted and wants to stay at home... I am at the stage now of having read alot, thought alot, talked to OH and now intending to visit a local home ed group.

Any thoughts, comments and experiences gratefully received

Some children are suited to HE. I think the parents should take the lead from what suits their DC.
I read about an author, unfortunately I can't remember which one but I think it was a children's author, he was adopted by a couple of Plymouth Brethren when he was only a few days old. He left the faith as soon as he was able. He said that from as long as he could remember he had fought against it with every ounce of his being.I am sure at 5 his parents thought that he was far too young to know a thing like that. I have no idea about other people, all I know is that every once of my being wanted to go to school! I was very shy,I didn't go to nursery, I was at home with my mother, I may be wrong but I can only ever remember being left with my aunts. I couldn't wait to go to school and I can still remember the excitement of the first morning. Not everyone is the same-my DH had to be chased round the cloakroom on his first morning because he wasn't going to stay!
You shouldn't let a 5 yr old make decisions, but you should take the lead from them.
Perhaps I was lucky. My mother was HEd from the age of 14 to 16, it was the only workable solution, She hated it and feels that it left her at a disadvantage. Very few of her friends know about it, she keeps it secret. She was another school lover. Her brother was a school hater, he would have adored HE. Every child is different-you can't assume they think the same as you. I expect the Plymouth Brethren are still wondering where they went wrong. They couldn't know that they had chosen a 2 day old baby who was going to resist their ideas!!

I can see that the reply will be that DCs are made to go to school when they would rather be educated at home. In an ideal world they would have a choice, but unfortunately some people can't HE for a variety of reasons. Often circumstances dictate the education, as in my mother having to be HEd-the choice is not there.

I think you have to weigh up whether you think it's in the best interests of this child to be HE - and that can be very tricky to do, and you often can't be sure till later whether it really was or not. We all try to make the best choices we can for our children, given our circumstances and personalities. As has been said, there are children who don't have the option of HE because of other factors apart from what they would want, and even what might in an ideal world be "best" for them. But all we can do is try to balance up all the the factors in our lives to work out best overall.

Personally, I didn't ask my nearly-5 year old whether he wanted to go to school, or which one. HE was never on my agenda, and he went happily to the local school. By the time he was 8 and a change was on the cards, he was very much involved in the decision to switch schools. And at 13 when we did start HE, that was very much his decision as well as ours.

I don't know what your 4 year old is like, but some have very definite views from an early age, and you need to make sure you take them into account.

I think you do need to give her time to settle at school if she generally likes it. If she was screaming and crying and miserable then that would be different, but overall she seems to be ok. If you want to look into HE, and take her along to local groups, and then discuss with her how this is a real option and how things might be, then do so. But if she still says she'd rather be in school, then personally I wouldn't take her out. Just my view, of course.

Super sensible AMumInScotland IMO.
I wouldn't have expressed an opinion on here if the OP hadn't sent her in the first place, but she did send her and after a few weeks has decided it was possibly a mistake even though her DC was happy. I think it is unfair to give a dc something with one hand and then take it away with the other (unless dc doesn't want it). If you don't want them to have it then don't give it in the first place.
Onwardandupwards solution is a gentle testing of the waters-much better than an abrupt removal.