My child is only one but!...

[UrethraFranklin90]

I'm already thinking about home education and wondered if anyone can offer advice/experiences?

My partner is worried about him missing out on the social aspects and the fun group projects at school. He has fond memories of primary school (but not secondary!)

My reasons really would just be that I'd love to spend the time with him, I think I'd manage ok with the educational aspect and I'm not convinced mainstream school is the best thing for children, especially from age 4-5.

I'd be looking to work part time in the evenings from home (currently studying for a postgraduate qualification that will allow this) so work wise it should be ok..

Would love to hear from others!

Just be aware that yu would need to keep up with the curriculum. I'm a teacher and had a home schooled child start I'm year4. He really struggled (as did his sister) he had far more knowledge in maths and science than the class but very little in English, History,Pshce etc. He also struggled to interact on the correct level with other kids- very adult orientated and wanted to discuss everything constantly and make a choice- ie on whether to do as asked in PE etc. Very quirky young man!

My reasons really would just be that I'd love to spend the time with him, I think I'd manage ok with the educational aspect and I'm not convinced mainstream school is the best thing for children, especially from age 4-5.

I think home educating can be great. But I don’t think ‘managing ok’ is good enough though. You make it sound like the educational aspects come second to him spending to you regarding importance. That’s not a good start in my opinion.

Anyway, he’s only one. Wait until the terrible twos or threes kick in, you might reassess how much mother and son quality time you really need 😂

@UrethraFranklin90
I'm a really lovely person actually.

And yes, I'm extremely judgmental on here when I read something that offends/annoys/irritates me.
Hardly unique to Mumsnet 🙄

There is a very different perspective on the socialisation question, which is that it is very unnatural, and can be very damaging, for children to be stuck solely with other children their own age, for about 30+ hours a week.
Hence all the issues with bullying, damaging peer pressure, etc.

Prior to the start of mass schooling a couple of hundred years ago, most children throughout most of human history learned at home, from their parents and from the community or wider social circle. They mixed with people of all ages, including much younger children and old people. They learnt real social skills, not school-environment 'social' skills.

If you want to HE in today's world, you need to put a lot of effort into building those connections that will otherwise be absent as everyone else is either in school or in work. That means a LOT of trips out, primarily meeting other HE families, but also to as many different places and activities as you can imagine.

As for Silverbirch2 above saying they need to learn the national curriculum - that is completely irrelevant. They can learn anything you or they choose. Even if they do later go into school you can get tutors to help fill any gaps while they catch up.

That post shows how unnatural school is - it is almost like being in employment under a boss - that a child should be considered strange for assuming they have choices about what activities they join in with or how they spend their time.
Just shows how the historical origins of mass schooling were about training up the children to be the next generation of factory workers.

Absolutely it sounded like that, it really isn't my main reason, it was typed quickly and I suppose I wanted to sound enthusiastic. Clearly this was a mistake judging from the replies I've got.

Agree its far too early. Just wanted a bit of information to consider

I think you may need to reevaluate your definition of 'lovely person'.

Very interesting perspective, I hadn't thought of the socialisation aspect that way and it does make sense in terms of thinking about what humans did before mainstream school.

Clearly there are strong arguments on both sides...it will be difficult to know what will suit him best without him trying school, I don't want to get it 'wrong'. I wonder if trialling school initially would be an idea as someone else said. He may love it. Despite my poorly worded initial post, I just want what's best for him, not me. I imagine home education isn't thr easy option.

@UrethraFranklin90

As do you.

Is your definition of a lovely person someone who agrees with you and doesn't dare to pull you up when you're wrong/being an idiot etc?

Not at all - but there's a huge difference between that and your responses on this thread. But it's the internet and you don't know me so, insult away.

I'm really just a bit sad that my (poorly worded, but explained many times) post just wanting a bit of advice about home education as someone who has never done anything like that before, was met with hostility and comments such as "school is the best place for him" said in the context in which you said it. Is that something a 'lovely person' would say?

I've explained many times on this thread that my desire to spend time with my young child is a very small part of why I was giving home education some thought. I should have spent more time writing it and explaining my reasons properly but my question wasn't 'should I do this?' it was 'please tell me more about it'. I'd do anything for my child and want the best for him, whatever that is.

Absolutely it sounded like that, it really isn't my main reason, it was typed quickly and I suppose I wanted to sound enthusiastic. Clearly this was a mistake judging from the replies I've got.

Agree its far too early. Just wanted a bit of information to consider

I think you have had a rather harsh response. You asked to know more about homeschooling but haven’t had much of an answer. Unfortunately I don’t homeschool so I can’t answer very helpfully! Hopefully more knowledgeable posters will come along and move on from the wobbly beginning to your thread.

My impression is that parents who choose to homeschool are often very passionate about education but not so enthused by the National curriculum content (just like many teachers don’t seem to be in all honesty). They homeschool so they can follow their children’s interests more for their learning and just take a more creative approach to education in general. We live near a zoo, I used to go with my LOs in the week when they were toddlers and I regularly saw what I assumed were parents with older homeschooled children. They’d sometimes be walking around with a sketch book to draw in or a pad taking notes, they were always very into what they were looking at and doing - you could tell they were there for educational purposes as well as fun. Very different to the kids running wild at the zoo at the weekend!

On the flip side, my friend is a TA in a junior school and they get a homeschooled child starting every other year or so. I guess if it’s going well they continue at home. But when it doesn’t go well, you apparently end up with 8 and 9 year olds being sent to school for the first time who can’t read or write beyond reception level, if that, and can’t do any kind of mathematical calculation beyond reception level either. And it’s very difficult for them to catch up at that point.
I guess maybe homeschooling sounds like a great idea when your child is 4 and you can do a lot through play, as you should at home or at school at that age, but teaching reading and writing and maths and more advanced science and history and all the rest when they’re a bit older isn’t for the faint hearted I think. I think some parents may be in over their heads, extend what at school would be classed as the ‘early years’ for a little too long and then before they know it they have an 8 year old who can’t read or write, and perhaps now does not want to learn how to, and then realise how bloody difficult teaching reading and writing is.

Either way, it’s a big responsibility. And not taken on lightly I think.

Thanks so much for your balanced response, lots to consider and your friends experience would be my worry. In my head I'd like to think I'd handle it well, I did well (at school!) myself and always enjoyed helping my younger sister who struggled a bit at times. But this would be a lot more than that I know!

I'd love to speak to someone who was home educated and ask them how they found it, how they're doing now etc.

Thanks again!

My children aren’t that much older than yours but we’re going to home educate. Personally I think it’s going to be great, and I love the idea of giving them so much more freedom especially in the early years. If at some point we think that school would be better for them then school will still be there. Nothing about the current state of the education system in this country enthuses me- teachers are leaving in their droves and genuinely seem really unhappy. Schools seem to be struggling for money and staff. I think if home Ed appeals you should certainly consider it! Facebook is great for finding others locally btw for meet ups and groups

Even though yes it is sometimes boring, they do sometimes fall out with their friends, very occasionally they've been in trouble when it "wasn't their fault". But still, they love it.

This is exactly the sort of stuff I want my young DC to go to school for, and difficult to replicate at home.

OP, if I read your initial post correctly, you were interested in the experiences of people who have actually home educated. As you've discovered, everyone and his dog has an opinion on it. If you bring the subject up in a public forum - or ask your friends and relatives - you will get to hear what they imagine it might be like. This is about as informative as asking a Bedouin whether swimming is a healthy pastime.

For this reason, some people prefer to discuss home education on closed forums instead. Most home ed Facebook groups are open only to people who are already home educating or seriously considering it. Some of them are very big and busy, so you can get more input from knowledgeable people. You might get a more accurate picture somewhere like that. You can also use Facebook to find a local home ed group and talk to people in person. Many of them welcome prospective home educators and you may even be able to join in with activities for very young children; where I live there are home ed park meet-ups and soft play for toddlers.

I do think the Mumsnet home ed board can be a helpful starting point. However, it's always worth checking whether someone with a strong opinion has actually home educated! (Having known one family who home educated does not really count as personal experience of home education. I hope my opinions would be ignored if I generalised about the French based on having known one French person...)

Given how important most people feel school is for children's social development, it may seem ironic that my main reason for home educating my eldest child was that they were so sociable! My kid wanted to play with others pretty much all day every day, and school would have interfered with that. I did give them the option of going to school, but they were shocked to learn that that would mean spending most of their time with kids of exactly their own age and that part of the time they would be expected to sit quietly 😂.

We don't live in a very rural area, so there were plenty of home ed meet-ups on offer, and DC1 could have friends round for all-day playdates as often as they liked. When you have plenty of time and there aren't dozens of other children to distract, interrupt, and judge you, you get a different type of play. They could plan really ambitious projects, fall out and make up, negotiate their differences, play everything they wanted to play, and be open with each other without fear of criticism from onlookers. (Twelve year olds don't bring their stuffed toys to school because somebody is going to take the mickey. But plenty of twelve year olds do have toys and enjoy playing with them. At home, their best friend may or may not be interested in playing with those toys, but they don't give them a hard time over it.)

DC1 did try school in Y5 just to see what it was like. I thought they'd like the social side of it even if they disliked the work. Surely such an extraverted child would enjoy being surrounded by other kids for 30 hours a week? But to my surprise, they felt the main drawback was the restrictions school put on their social life and independence, so they left after a term.

My second child was in some ways the opposite to her sibling, not very keen on playing with other kids at an early age, disliking crowds, a late bloomer who got on better with children younger than herself and who needed some coaching from adults to learn to negotiate friendships. For her too, home education gave more flexibility in social terms.

She has grown from a quirky little kid into a quirky teen who has high self-esteem because she is used to being accepted for who she is. She's friendly and well-liked. No doubt some would call her sheltered, because she has always had ready access to her mum and other people who care about her. But I think it has been good for her to grow up with the expectation that people will usually treat her well and that she deserves kindness and respect. I am not convinced that a kid with a moderate learning disability would emerge from a mainstream secondary school with the same belief. It's true she isn't yet independent, but there's no hurry. She'll get there in her own time.

@UrethraFranklin90 I've home educated mine from day 1. Honestly, the best thing for my dc (completely different learning style/teaching implemented to suit child etc etc).

Said dc decided they wanted to try secondary school, and I've fully supported that decision (during primary years if they wanted to go to school I would have sent them then-but that idea wasn't attractive before 😂).

This probably isn't the best place to ask re:home Ed as a lot of people will find the idea absurd!

If you are a Facebook user, definitely search out local groups. It'll give you a better idea of the support and activities/meets available.

Socially, our diary was always full, a lot of the time we had too much on. Social skills/development isn't a problem when home educating (unless you're going to hide them in the attic forever!)

Best of luck 🤞

Completely agree with this! Especially the last two sentences.

Urethra, you have a difficult decision ahead and I’m sorry that I can’t help with the primary years aspect - I would only advise that you go and see some local groups because whatever is available locally would be your non school choices , there’s no more point deciding on an idealised option that isn’t near enough to join any more than deciding on schooling based on one’s that your child won’t be able to attend. have you seen any options of either in your area.? Also depending on state or private I can say we looked at both for primary but were already too late with a 2 year old in tow for the local private one ( we don’t come from a private sort of background so we’re totally amazed by this)
once you know what is really there near you it might help. In the primary years the education side is easier and can be done with free or low cost resources. (Wonderful options with just online and the library for masses of books) - taking it to a higher level on your own will entirely depend on your confidence in teaching academic subjects if that what your child needs.
mine did mainstream primary and is doing home secondary ( with professional online teaching) - when you get there I’ll be happy to let you know how it went - Suffice to say to regrets so far on the switch.

This is a fascinating thread!
I am interested in home schooling and it’s great to hear some of the really knowledgeable experiences.
OP, I’m not sure you’ll read this as I’m late coming to the thread, but I think wanting to be with your child is a brilliant reason to start thinking about home schooling. I have worked as a teacher for many years, and I would say that while some children enjoy parts of school, the overall experience is mostly about survival. This is especially true at secondary level when the length of days, pressure of work load, clubs, social pressure and hormones is IMENSE. The typical GCSE course is two years - in a healthy home school environment, the actual syllabus can be covered easily in about 9 months. School is great for free education and free childcare, anc I believe strongly any HS system requires contact with others and variety (in my experience most do!) but school is tough and in my experience not a very good reflection of the way life operates in the real adult world.

Sorry, IMMENSE obviously spelt like this! Typo.

Also meant to say that a lot of parents I meet via parents evening often have very little idea of what their children are up to or even like as a person. While I utterly appreciate there are often very very valid reasons for this, I think your incentive of wanting to be with your child is amazing. Especially at early primary age. Good luck!!