Starting secondary school after home ed

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I am seriously considering homeschooling my children. Dd1 is an extremely bright 2 Yr old who is full of energy, I fear she would be bored at school and be labeled 'naughty'. I also have a 3 month old dd and we still hope to have more in the future. Having weighed up the pros and cons of of homeschooling there are far more pros than cons but there is one thing that is seriously concerning me. I do not feel I would have the skills to educate them past primary school, so if they were to start school at 11 how would they cope? Would it be too much of a culture shock for them having had no formal education up to this point. Has anyone had any experience of starting school at 11+?

We've known many families who do it this way, as well as others who prefer the other way round because they think primary will suit their child but not secondary. My youngest child's best friend is going off to secondary in the autumn following her older siblings. Their neighbour did the same. My eldest went at ten.

Sure it's a big adjustment, but starting school is a big adjustment whether you do it at four or seven or eleven or sixteen. If anything, it seems easier to undertake such a big change at a later age when you have the emotional maturity to deal with it and a real sense of perspective. I think the home ed kids bring something valuable to their experience of school as a result of having been brought up in a different environment. They know, for example, that it's possible to learn without someone teaching you, that it isn't normal to be chronically exhausted, and that boys can have deep and meaningful friendships with girls. That means when they encounter problems at school they tend to assume it is worth trying to fix them. As outsiders they bring a fresh perspective to the sometimes isolating world of school.

Not all of these kids continue with school. Having seen what home ed is like and having parents who may be open to that possibility, sometimes they choose to resume home ed as they feel it will benefit them more. That was the case with mine - not that she didn't fit in at school or couldn't handle it, but that she simply preferred home ed. There were things about school which she liked and other things she disliked, and on balance home ed suited her better.

So if you do decide to send your kids to school for secondary, I'm sure they'll do just as well as if they's also gone to school for primary. However, there is also an excellent chance that as you go along and see how it works with your kids, and watch other parents in your area who are HEing slightly older children, your confidence will grow and you will feel it isn't so daunting to continue home educating after all. It's easier than you think!

And anyway, even if it were a massive wrench for your kids to start school at eleven, wouldn't that be a small price to pay for the huge bonus of having spent the previous seven years in the right environment for them? It would be a shame to sacrifice their early years by sending them to the wrong environment because you fear something which may or may not happen. I think the most important thing is to meet the child's needs in the here and now. If they are happy and they are learning, you are doing it right!

Thankyou Saracen, that's really encouraging. I've got a little while to decide what we do but I know it will come around quickly.

I know a year nine girl who was homeschooled until year six or seven. She's doing so much, she's so well rounded, she's happy.

I've known other children (and I also have friends) who have started around then and been fine.

My nephews are home ed, and I'm considering it for my youngest, until secondary.

I think it's fine to do. There's groups and activities to join. So they're not isolated from their peers unless parents can't or won't make the effort.

Yes, it will come around even quicker than you think because if you are planning to send them to school you may feel it is necessary to send them to nursery beforehand.

I don't agree with that view: I think if a child has had a secure loving upbringing and IF she is developmentally ready for school (not all 4 year olds are) then it shouldn't be hard for her to start Reception without having done nursery. After all, Reception is meant to be a gentle transition to school. If kids need to be prepared for that preparatory year with an additional year beforehand, surely that indicates that school must be very poorly designed for children's needs!

But there is a very widespread view that school-bound children need nursery, whereas those who will be home ed can either do nursery or not. For that reason, it can be useful to have decided to HE by that stage, so you needn't peel a crying child off your leg in order to send her to nursery so as to get her ready for school.

Another reason it's nice to be considering home ed from an early stage is so you can join home education groups and make friends for yourself and your children. My eldest went through a lonely time early on, as I hadn't anticipated that all her toddler-group friendships would dissolve overnight when those children started nursery. The kids became rather more busy and tired, and their parents' priorities shifted since they reasonably assumed their children's social needs were being met at nursery. In retrospect I could have avoided that difficult time by pursuing home ed friendships from the start. Those were the ones which lasted. Home ed children have so much more time to play, and their parents feel the need to prioritise friendships. So you don't end up chasing after a busy family who may or may not be able to fit you in for a couple of hours in a week's time, which unfortunately is the reality for many schoolchildren.

We did it and it was a disaster - though not as much as primary school was. ECHP here and we were told that school could not meet needs after a year - and that we would need specialist. Bearing in mind that specialist schools are a postcode lottery and that all of our local specialist schools were all for children with Learning Difficulties we decided to go home ed again. We're waiting for our first lot of IGCSE grades this month.

Hi - we've done this here as well with 2 out of 3 children.

Child 1 - Took child out of Year 1 due to new teacher that dealt with them very badly. Tried Year 3- managed 1 term and begged to leave (I still have the letter they wrote to me) After this took 2 years to get diagnosis of ASD. Started secondary Mid year 7 (had to wait for place at school we wanted) - they have flown and last year won an award as a top performer in GCSEs. More importantly they have a good friend group and are happy (mostly).

Child 2 - liked school but took out Reception to be home edding as a family. Went back for full Year 3, came out again as their choice, requested return for Year 6 (and caught up very quickly) and is now in Year 11 covid chaos.

Child 3 - at 5 years hid under tables when people spoke to them. Joined school in Year 3 and settled immediately, becoming very popular - now in secondary - never had any difficulties with academics
or social parts of school. I would never have believed it at 5.

Our life was made so much better as a family by the time we spent home edding. (although I might not have thought that some days!)

I home ed my son from the start until secondary school age. It was a joint desision with him as he started to become interested in school and what was available for him as opposed to home ed. He is 13 now and loves school. Settled in really well. Initially he found the days quite long and tiring but he gets so much out of it. Sometimes I forget we home ed for all those years.

From my limited personal experience of Home edded children joining school during primary (just 3 children), they were a delight and challenge to accepted school norms.

Two used to answer (essentially rhetorical) questions asked in assembly, or put in a comment or question about what the speaker said. So refreshing when everyone else (teachers included, often) tended just to sit there blankly.

All three used to ask 'why?' regularly in class when asked to do something. That is a really good question to ask a teacher, and an even better question for the teacher to ask themselves! There should be a goood answer to the question, and they were usually happy to do the activity once the explanation was made. Sometimes it led to a change in activity or more choice for the whole class too.

Sadly, in many ways, the children became institutionalized very quickly, and would have been largely unspottable from the rest after a term or so. I mean institutionalsed in the nicest possible way. They remained engaged, confident, enthusiastic learners, but they stopped speaking out when something just occurred to them, and went along with the group routines and activities.

Incidentally - and this is absolutely not a representative sample, obviously - all three had noticably uneven academic profiles, reflecting their, and I assume their parents', interests or strengths. They each needed extra help in some areas (eg. aspects of maths, problem solving, geography, PE, science) but were well on in others (eg. reading, arithmetic, music, art).

Hi Scarby9, thanks for bringing a school perspective!

You said that the previously home educated children you encountered at school had "noticably uneven academic profiles". This amused me. It implies that the curriculum at your school is somehow objectively correct and normal, so that anyone whose progress diverges from that is a bit peculiar: reflecting their and their parents' interests and strengths. But of course curricula differ dramatically from one country to the next, and ideas about the content and pace of instruction at school change over the decades and centuries. Transplanted to a different school environment, the children taught at your school would also have "uneven academic profiles" by local standards.

I can imagine those formerly home educated kids coming home from school and discussing the mismatch quite differently: "Wow, it is amazing how dumbed-down the school maths books are, and they only expect us to read TWO books a week when we used to read more than that every day at home! But they are totally obsessed with geography. I've never seen so many maps in my life." Their parents might respond that reading at school has to be abnormally slow because kids can't get much one-to-one help with it, and that there's something of a fad for geography going on in schools at the moment.

I wouldn't mention this if not for the fact that you seem to relish seeing school perspectives challenged. I'm not meaning to have a go. I just thought it might interest you that the way you describe the academic progress of these kids is quite different from how I'd describe it! I suppose I feel that while a huge amount of energy is expended on trying to get the school curriculum right, it's bound to be just as arbitrary in its way as is the education of children who follow their own interests. Are the kids behind in some areas and ahead in others - or is it the school expectations which are quirky?