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Home ed

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Original poster

Home ed a place to really let rip and debate

178 replies

singingmum · 09/07/2007 12:21

OK so it seemed needed so I'll start.
I HE.It is best fro my dc's in my opinion and that of my dp.
Why? Well a number of reasons really.I'll be short as have tired fingers from posting on other HE threads where anyone who wishes can see the full story.
My dp,my brothers,my friend and myself all attended the same comp over diff years.It was crap.
I actually became bored of learning the same stuff over and over again.My dp and brothers were pigeon holed for having learning difficulties(ie dyslexia)and were taught very badly and left to rot.My friend could learn much but was often left to it and did not do as well as she could.
My son had mega probs caused by nursery and am not putting either of my dc's go through that as my ds is bright but may have aspergers and my dd has dyslexic tendencies.
So as everyone has been letting rip indiscrimenently(bad spelling sorry)I thought I'd put it all in one place.
Let rip ladies and gents

OP posts:
NKF · 09/07/2007 17:09

SB - I think this one more than any other.

meandmyflyingmachine · 09/07/2007 17:11

How many HE'ers here are proactive and how many reactive?
I mean, how many are HE'ing as a result of a bad school experience, and how many due to an educational philosophy?

SueBaroo · 09/07/2007 17:17

NKF, granted, it can be - anything to do with our kids hits closer to home I would have said, for obvious reasons.

M&MFM, I had a fairly normal school experience. Little bit of bullying, some brilliant teachers, some shockingly bad ones. Dh the same, nothing out of the ordinary.

We chose to homeschool because of our broader worldview, really. So, I suppose we are pro-actively home educating.

meandmyflyingmachine · 09/07/2007 17:19

When you say 'broader world view' what does that mean?

Just being nosey really. You can tell me to butt out if you like

lionheart · 09/07/2007 17:28

I will claim I was being ironic there, SB (albeit after the fact).

SueBaroo · 09/07/2007 17:34

Just the way we look at the world - our perspective on things. Like, we made a decision when we were preparing for marriage that I would stay home, and we wouldn't use nurseries. Being really hands-on just carried on when it came to thinking about their education. As it happens, I love having them around, and it's great fun to see the world through their eyes.

Having the freedom to pursue their interests is often mentioned, but I also think that being at home with brothers and sisters learning to rub along with each other is good too. There's a good balance of being able to pursue what you want and having to accept that you are part of a bigger picture and you can't have your way all the time.

We also try and give them as much protection from stuff that's too old for them as is reasonable. That's not the prevailing view now, and that's the way it is, but we take the view that you don't have to just swim along with what helps you 'fit in' - it's ok to stand and be yourself.

Stuff like that.

meandmyflyingmachine · 09/07/2007 17:35

Thank you

lionheart · 09/07/2007 18:50

I've often wondered about the gender politics of this, SueBaroo.

Is it usually women (SAHMs or whatever your preferred term) who take on the primary role as HEs?

bohemianbint · 09/07/2007 18:53

this might cause a debate: do you think that parents who choose to HE are generally people who had a crapping hideous time at school?

Lazycow · 09/07/2007 19:00

I like the idea of HE but would only do this as a reaction to bad schooling. I do not have the patience for it. I know a family of 7 children where the mother home schools and I'd be hard put to find a nicer more friendly well adjusted bunch of children anywhere.

I do think it would be more difficult with an only child (as ds is) as one of my main reasons for homeschooling would be to allow a more personal (ie ds-led) approach to Learning so that he is less 'directed' and more 'directing' of his education. I think this is easier (though not impossible of course)in a household of more than one child.

It would be too easy with only one child to overfocus on ds. This is true if ds is at school but I think I might do this even more if I was home schooling him.

SueBaroo · 09/07/2007 19:03

lionheart I'm not sure about it as a general trend, but I would have thought it was probably the case, simply because women are still the people most likely to be at home with the children.

In our house, I'm the person who is most often delivering the education directly, iyswim, but Dh is very much involved with how we structure things, curriculum choices, the questions he's better equipped to answer than I am

I do know some women who tear their hair out because the responsibility falls on their shoulders, but it genuinely isn't like that here - perhaps because we've seen some friends make mistakes.

bohemianbint, I can only speak for us, and no, we had a normal time at school.

ahundredtimes · 09/07/2007 19:07

This might cause a debate: do you think people who HE are too controlling and overly-protective?

lionheart · 09/07/2007 19:08

Yes, I've had friends who have wanted to do this but known that in the end it will fall to them.

ahundredtimes · 09/07/2007 19:12

I have a sneaking suspicion they might be. Debate?

Blandmum · 09/07/2007 19:15

some schools cope very well with SEN. My son has dyspraxia and other related issues. He is doing very well in school.

You cannot make sweeping generalisations.

some people HE well. Some people are crap at it.

some schools teach their kids well, Some are crap.

Lots of HEs damn all schools. And are pissed off when 'schoolers' repay the compliment

Original poster
singingmum · 09/07/2007 19:15

When taking my ds out of nursery we orig considered other schools but after looking closer we realised that in our minds HE offered what for us as a family was a better way.
Not saying it's for everyone but for us it was perfect.
Lionheart,I do most of the HE as my dp works,but when he has his days off,hols,etc
he takes over.If there is a trip to be taken he takes them as it has become his time with them,my time off.We share household chores as a family and we take turns to cook.Even friends and relatives who have dc's in school often say that they can't get over the fact that we work so smoothly as a family.We aren't perfect,we make mistakes and sometimes get under each others feet a bit but we have learned to deal with this and have a good family relationship.
I do think it is often the woman who takes on the role of HE because after carrying our dc's and raising them it feels a little more natural to us to be with them more so than a dad who worked through most of these times.

OP posts:
ahundredtimes · 09/07/2007 19:17

Some of them might be, particularly the fundamentalist christian ones. But I understand why you would if your child isn't NT because there isn't adequate provision in the system really.

Well, I'm trying.

ahundredtimes · 09/07/2007 19:18

Here I was trying to get their debate going, and along comes MB being all sensible and down-to-earth and speaking common sense.

Blandmum · 09/07/2007 19:18

I worry about those who withdraw kids so they they don't learn about stuff eg the fundimentalist christians.

Most people who HE are not like this, but I do worry about those that are

Original poster
singingmum · 09/07/2007 19:19

ahundredtimes
Am sure some are but then so are some parents who's dc's go to school.I myself know of plenty of control freaks who's dc's go to school.
Sweeping generalisations help no one and mean less

OP posts:
Saturn74 · 09/07/2007 19:19

I wish I had the energy to be too controlling - I usually just muddle through the best I can and hope everything turns out for the best.

I think I probably am overly-protective to some degree. DS2 was so badly bullied at school, and had so little support for his educational needs, that he began to self-harm - at the age of 6.

So I suppose we sort of closed ranks as a family, and cocooned him for a long time.

I do actively encourage my DCs to be independent and adaptable though - so maybe I'll be able to cut the apron strings before they're 40.

Blandmum · 09/07/2007 19:19

x100

damn that rationaily!

ahundredtimes · 09/07/2007 19:21

Everyone is too sensible and fair-minded here to have a debate. We're going to say Live and Let LIve in a minute and join hands and sing a song.

Original poster
singingmum · 09/07/2007 19:21

martian so do I.I have chosen to teach my dc's culture inc religion of whichever we are looking at as I feel that teaching religion on it's own as a subject is a very marrow view.Dc's should not be indoctrinated into any belief system but allowed to develop their own opinions as they grow.

OP posts:
Blandmum · 09/07/2007 19:22

I also like the fact that my kids get to experience a wider range of teaching/learning styles. Because they work with a wider variety of people.

and yes HE can fill the gap with clubs etc. But will be going some to come up with 12 different adults (which is what kids were I work get re teaching staff, there or there abouts)

and you do get to a point where the kids need to be taught, and not just have facilitated learning.

I taught year 13 meiosis today. Even the A grade, probably off to Oxbridge types, needed help.