Why not school?

[mamacool]

Okay so I've asked why you choose to HE now I'd like to ask why not send them to school?

I personally don't think that schools are perfect but I don't think they're all bad either, however I do think the benefits of HE are greater.

The way I put it is like this 'I like strawberry ice cream but if I had the option of chocolate instead then I'd take it'.

Dp on the other hand thinks that if something is okay, why look for something else? I said that HE is okay so why look for something else? But he's not quite on board yet. He had a great experience in school and doesn't want our son to miss out. In his opinion I can still do all the things I'd want to with our son in the hours that he's not in school.

My only real concern is that he isn't given the freedom to become his own person without feeling the need to conform. I've loved watching him discover things all by himself and seeing his enthusiasm and curiousity grow by the minute and I'm worried that he might lose that if I put him into school. I love the montessori philosophy so if we do choose to send him to school we'll probably stick to montessori.

Anyway I'm just rambling now sorry. I just wanted to pick your brains

Just have to say Well done riven for doing that for that little boy.I hope also that you made a difference in how he thought of himself at least you tried where others wouldn't

heres what I think mamacool

Some kids DO enjoy school. I did. My jury is out on whether that is a good thing. I loved school because I was good at it and got lots of praise. Is that good or bad? Not sure.

But you don't have to make a now-and-forever decision. Here's what I am doing.

I have identified a couple of primaries that I am basically happy with, and which are undersubscribed (both because, on the surface, they are less "academic". but the pastoral care is really excellent, and the curriculum well thought out). Both schools are willing to negotiate flexi schooling also. It HAS taken work on my part to suss all of this out.

I am then planning on taking it a bit at a time. I am committed to not sending them before 7. I just don't see the need, they can go to an excellent kindergarten 2 mornings a week and I certainly would not start formal work/reading etc before then-unless they really asked to.

I will reassess then. If I feel they might want to go to school, or I might need them in school, then I will probably get them up to speed with the NC. If not, I'll leave it, just do basic stuff like reading, maths etc, cover the bases but in a less formal way.

from your profile you are in london. there is a vibrant HE community there. Get to a meeting and talk to them-no one will mind.

there is this odd thing-HErs online are sometimes quite different to in rl. a suprisng number don't actually have computers.

Thanks for your replys. I know where and when the local Education Otherwise groups are as I have a friend who goes along but I'm not the one that needs convincing.

To me HE feels like a completely natural choice. I brought him into the world and I feel it's my job to educate him. Sending him to school feels like I'm almost saying 'okay I've done my bit now it's over to the government', it just doesn't feel right.

Anywho I have 3yrs before I really have to convince dp, so I'm going to try not to stress too much about it until then.

For me, it was because I did flirt with the idea of sending dd to school. After 15 years of home edding, when dd got to 5 I decided I was tired and needed a break, and so she could give school a try.

She went along to one taster session. We had missed the first introductory session where the parents stayed as we were on holiday, so as it was all new to dd she asked me to stay with her, which made me the only parent there. The teachers were not too cool with this, they had planned this to be a serious sorting out session. They had got a page of the alphabet out and had the children in a queue, one by one quizzing them on what letters they knew. Dd loved it! She whizzed through the alphabet naming every letter, but some children looked clearly ill at ease, bored with the queuing and didn't have the first idea of what to say. They were already beginning to have an idea of what it was to fail The teacher corrected my dd on one or two of the letters, telling her she was pronouncing them wrong - "its not nuh, its nnnnnnn". I was a little put out that they didn't tell her that some people said it that way, but they prefer another, instead of flatly telling her she was wrong, but ok, I could live with that.

Dd is lively and buzzed around the teacher asking what she should do now - in order to keep her occupied the teacher gave her a piece of paper and told her to write down 1 - 10. Dd wrote her numbers, but got one or two backwards way round. The teacher started to tell her they were wrong, but I intervened and said that at 4 I thought it was pretty cool she could write any, and I didn't think it was a good idea to point out problems as she would self correct as she saw more of the numbers. The teacher unwillingly agreed.

Dd still looking for entertainment found a computer covered over and asked if she could use it. A teaching assistant was set to uncover it and find her a simple art program to use (far simpler than the programmes she was accustomed to use at home). At this time I was shuffled off with a patronising, "mummy is tired now, let mummy go home for a rest and come back for you later".

When I went back for her she was carrying a picture of a tree, but I was a bit mystified that she didn't seem very interested in it. She said she had had a lovely time at school, but she couldn't do numbers. The teacher had taken the opportunity to go back to her and explain her numbers were the wrong way round - however my dd took this as not being able to do numbers and this has stayed with her ever since

I asked if she wanted to tell me about her picture, but she said "oh, I didn't do it, the lady did it". So.....they had her for a couple of hours, taught her that she couldn't do numbers and her attempts at art needed an adult to intervene and make them "right".

She didn't ever go back