Home Educating an only child, bilingualism other questions....

[JohnKeating]

Hi, I am considering home educating my DD from the outset, she is currently only just turning one, so a long way off at the moment, but I had a bit of a breakthrough moment with my DH yesterday (he didn't just laugh or shut down the conversation), so thought it was a good time to ask some specific questions on areas that are concerning me....

DD is an only child and will more than likely remain that way due to various reasons.

Does anyone on here HE an only child, and would be happy to tell me the pros and cons, and any difficulties you have faced?

We live in a majority Welsh speaking area, but neither DH or I are Welsh speakers. If DD attended school she would receive her primary education in Welsh and her secondary in either mixed medium Welsh/ English or in a Welsh medium school. I would like DD to be able to converse in Welsh to a level that she isn't excluded from any extracurricular clubs and so that it doesn't disadvantage her employment prospects if she chooses to stay in the area as an adult. I am currently in the early stages of learning welsh so that I can support her whichever route we choose, but am under no delusions that I will become a fluent speaker anytime soon!!

Has anyone any experiences of bilingualism and HE, or tips for how to approach it?

My (D)M and GM are/were not particularly great mothers. They bullied and emotionally abused, and my fear for me as a mother is "like mother, like daughter", so I guess my concern is that HE could strain my relationship with DD and THIS is my single biggest concern regarding HE . Not really sure what to ask regarding this, just talk to me honestly about your opinions/ experiences on this one please.

Final question for now....

I have a few teachers and retired teachers in the family, primary, secondary, SEN, state, private, and past and current headteachers (there's more than I first thought when I started to write this!!!). How do teachers react to the idea of HE? Have I got a battle on my hands, or is it worth approaching them as a support network? SIL is a primary head, with a special interest in literacy which is not my strong point so I would really love to have her on my side. Any tips?

That sounds like a great idea! Remember to only talk the language with her if you know you are 100% grammatically correct. I learn German too and started a few months before Ds and we have the odd small conversation in said language. I personally think HE has done wonders for us as a family and ds spends some of his school time learning the piano.

You will find you will have more free time as your child can more than likely do a whole days school work in 3 hours and then have more time to play and grow and learn other things, like an instrument. Also no extra homework in the evenings and no stress for exams so young

I thi

JohnKeating I totally agree about bilingualism from early years onwards having a very beneficial effects on brain development; (many studies point to this) also an enhanced ability re: strategic thinking. So getting her in to a Welsh speaking play group sounds like a great idea!

The overall idea of bringing her up to be bi-lingual is a fabulous one!
The only thing I am questioning is whether someone who is not a native speaker (indeed is a learner themselves) is the right person to do this! I hope that doesn't sound too negative; it's just from my own experience, I think it would be an exceedingly difficult challenge!

I obviously don't know why you want to HE (and you don't have to explain here) but for me they would have to be v important indeed to the wonderful opportunity of immersion with native speakers for six hrs a day that will be available on your doorstep in the local school ifyswim! Just acquiring the right accent (important for integration) requires a native teacher for example.

Good luck though with whatever you decide!

Oops - sorry - meant your reasons for HE-ing would have to be very important indeed to REJECT the opportunities available etc ...

And when I say it would be a very difficult challenge; I meant not only difficult for you teaching it, but, more importantly, not optimum for your dd!

@anniehm

The first thing is you need to work out how you can meet all her educational needs, the English and maths are the easy bit! Do you have the skills and patience to teach a broad curriculum in an interesting way?

Not concerned about this element, we have 3 degrees between us, that are very different, mine are BSc and DH BA so we cover quite a breadth of knowledge between us, and have the study skills to access subjects that we aren't as familiar with. Also one of my degrees was via the OU so I am used to distance learning techniques and the pros and cons of these (I actually preferred the OU to the brick uni degree I did, and felt I learnt more thoroughly and efficiently through it).

Then there's social needs, I doubt in a rural area there will be home educators clubs so how will they meet people of their own age?

We are not cut off from civilisation, one poster jumped in up thread, deciding that as I live in a welsh speaking area it is there for "very rural", this simply is not the case. We have homeschool groups in the area, although I'm yet to investigate them beyond facebook to see what they have to offer and how active they are.

Then finally can you afford to stay at home and pay for all the education costs - it isn't cheap, I spent hundreds on books and trips for my 2 kids.

Yes we can afford for me to do part time hours that would allow for the time needed for HE.

But I would be interested to find out how much people budget for HE, and also how this compares to the costs of having a child in state school (trips, uniforms, non-uniform days, extracurricular activities etc).

@sproutingcorm
I obviously don't know why you want to HE (and you don't have to explain here) but for me they would have to be v important indeed to the wonderful opportunity of immersion with native speakers for six hrs a day that will be available on your doorstep in the local school ifyswim!

This is the crux really, if we were in England, and the Welsh language was not a factor in the equation I think I would jump at the chance to HE DD. However, the Welsh language is a hurdle in more than one respect, as it might also effect the successfulness of her socialising through organised groups (Brownies/Cubs/Guides/Scouts/Urdd etc) if they are Welsh medium and her Welsh isn't strong enough. This would not be ideal generally, but as an only child it would be doubly important to ensure good quality socialisation and friendships.

Much to think about!!

My kids are bilingual and we wouldn’t have managed that without them going to school in the second language. I do know a family who home Ed who have trilingual children with the third language not being a native language for either of the parents. They are extremely committed to HE and really treat it like a job, researching the best way to do things and putting a lot of time into it. It works really well for them.

This is so interesting. Where on earth do you live OP that children can go to brownies etc through the medium of Welsh?

I'm not sure this is real, sorry. I'm a fluent Welsh speaker and something doesn't ring true about this. Sorry if I'm wrong but would appreciate it if someone could put me right. (I won' be offended)

Also - effect the successfulness? How many degrees?

I've been typing on my phone whilst breastfeeding DD to sleep, so that's why it isn't the most coherent in places!!

What language do you think they run youth clubs in in areas of Wales where the majority of people speak Welsh? There are areas round me where nearly 90% of the population speaking welsh. Pretty much everything is either Welsh or Bilingual.

Then I stand corrected! Apologies.

I'm really pleased to hear that so many activities are carried out in Welsh. In my area it's the Urdd. Brownies, cubs etc are English.

To answer your aibu though, I don't think it would be a good idea to HE your daughter as neither of you speak Welsh. I think she would be disadvanted

• disadvantaged

I have bilingual children. It’s insanely hard and takes a lot of time to achieve fluency in the minority language. It also costs us a lot of money in books, dvds, etc to support the language.

You need a native speaker to assist. YOu could buy the help in (tutor for a whole day each week?) it see if your local HE groups have a solution.

I can only speak from the point of view of having an only child but there is no way in the world I would HE her, simply because of that. As someone upthread said, her world will be very small, and it will also be very intense, for both you and her - and, I'll be honest, very unfair on her.