Thinking about home education for my 4 year old

[Ella01]

I'm after advice from other mums, as I'm thinking about home education for my 4 year old, she has not been to any nursery or preschool, just toddler groups and is very bright and enjoys learning at her own pace with me. Is home education a good choice for her?

Thanks for all your messages, it all helps me to think whether this the right thing to do for my daughter @Thirtyrock39, my concern is the best way for her to learn and enjoy it, I understand where you're coming from, but I think she could gain many experiences with homeschooling too @ibicus agreed about different ways to learn and for it to be fun and exciting, also that you don't need a degree, just the dedication and enthusiasm to help your child learn. @FaFoutis, I have been to university and had a successful career in Property management, when I had my daughter, I gained diplomas in photography, as this is something I love to do @athingthateveryoneneeds, it's good to know I can change my mind, I just want to do what works for her, I will fit me around her needs.

‘I think the school system is really messed up and homeschooling is individual and keeps the love of learning alive. Definitely look into unschooling/autonomous learning’

Completely agree. Personally I don’t think I’ve the patience, enthusiasm or right personality to homeschool dd after spending most of the last few years at home, but I agree the school system and way children are taught especially in the early years is wrong.

‘Inquisitive, learning without being 'taught'. Maybe this describes a lot of bright children.’

Isn’t this just all children? They really are designed to learn, but we sap it out of many of them by sticking them in big classrooms at a young age and treating them, as someone said up thread, like second rate computers.

Final comment!

Reception year in most state schools is mainly learning through play focussed. If you would like a more relaxed approach to your Dds education, this is the best year for it in the state sector and then decide later if you think she's benefitting from having other dcs around all day or not.

It will become harder to socialise her with same aged dcs from next year when they go to school, unless you are in a city centre, there probably won't be home Ed groups she can meet up with daily (and they will be geographically spread out - she'll lose that "school friend around the corner" aspect)

Did you apply for a place for her?

I am a very dedicated mum, and understand the importance of education

We're all dedicated mums. Personally I think the social contact that comes with school is invaluable.

I think if you can, do. 4/5 is far too young for school in my experience. I have a 4 year old in school and he's developed lots of nervous habits over the last few months. I don't have the income to Home school but I'm looking into how I could make it work. Children are all different, it's crazy to think they will all learn from and enjoy being in a classroom with 29 other kids.

I've chosen to home educate my 4 year dd and it's going brilliantly. We have activities on 4 days a week with other home educating families (and we live in a rural area!) it's wonderful to be able to follow her interests, be spontaneous and to be able to choose how we spend our time. She is a happy, outgoing, confident child.

I also don't think you need to decide now what you're going for the next 14 years of education. I am taking the approach of we will continue as long as it works for both my daughter and me.

Good luck to you and hat's off! I don't think I would have the patience and energy to do this but if you're committed I can imagine there would be a lot of benefits. I guess the important thing is ensuring your child has plenty of social interaction (some home schooler kids can be a bit weird) but I'm sure you'll have plans for that.

@CoffeeOrSleep These are all great questions for me to think about as I figure this out. I want her to learn essential parts of the curriculum, maths, English, science etc and also to learn her own interests and enjoy finding out what they are. I would work to encourage her interests not my own. I have not applied for this year, I thought it was too young aswell as some health issues she has been going through. @MyNameIsNotSteven, I am not questioning other parents dedication to their children, that was a response to someone else's message before I knew about how to reply with the @ thing lol. I just wanted advice and other people's experiences, we all have our own circumstances, family life and children with different personalitys, we don't need to judge eachothers way, if our child's best interests are at the heart if it, that's all that matters.

My mum teaches A level and says the home schooled are always odd and everyone she has taught dropped out of uni.

Also can I just say you have all the options a 'schooled' kid would have- apprenticeships, uni, traineeships etc..so I don't know why people are even bringing it up (I think a lot of places find homeschooled kids a breath of fresh air) and I know the college near me does GCSEs and level 2 courses from 14 for homeschooled kids so definitely don't let options put you off. It opens up more doors than it closes. X

'All that means is that they passed lots of tests'.

@ibicus, that is such a narrow, and quite frankly disappointing view of a teacher. I have 2 degrees and in my primary teaching job, I also do/have done following:

Liaise with social workers for child protection

Sat on a child protection panel

Support the 9 year old child who has a dying parent

Support a child whose brother died age 3

Take 30 kids out for dinner and give them the opportunity afterwards to sing in a local theatre in front of a sold out audience

Camp overnight at school on a Friday night as an experience for one of our year groups, looking after 62 children.

Run a singing club

Oh, and teach. Not just to pass tests either, by the way. We taught our kids recently how to run a business, and they made a profit for the school. No tests involved at all. That's just 1 example out of many.

A lot more than just passing lots of tests, no?

@Flatwhite32 I said 'being a 'trained teacher that's been doing it for years' doesn't make you better than anyone else who is home educating. And formal education doesn't count for everything. All that means is they passed lots of tests and now are keeping other children passing lots of tests.' Which was referring to the comment asking if she thought she would do a better job than a 'trained teacher'. Being a 'trained teacher' means nothing to me in terms of how good you are at teaching children. How good you are at teaching children isn't dependent on getting a degree and passing another year of teacher training tests. I'm not saying there aren't some fantastic teachers I'm just saying that just because you are a 'trained teacher' doesn't mean you're any better at teaching children than anyone else- it means you can pass tests and have done. A parent can be a much better educational facilitator and vice versa. I feel like you've cherry picked what I've said to have a go at me.

And in my opinion the majority of school work is there to teach children to pass tests. That is how the national curriculum and the whole educational system is designed.

Have a look for local home ed groups Facebook is a good start. The HEUK group will point you in the direction of local groups. My 7 year old is home educated and thriving on it. She has lots of friends and does loads of activities.

You actually don't do any tests to become a teacher by the way! No exams.

As a teacher and a mum I would say it's important that children learn to be open minded- to have the autonomy to think for themselves. I think there is a danger that homeschooled children might be exposed to your views only rather than to the views of other children and adults. Having said that, there are probably lots of parents or there who are doing a great job of homeschooling. On the flip side, there are probably lots who are not!

@Flatwhite32 passing a university course is a test wouldn't you say?

Lots of homeschooling co-ops too and if there isn't one near you you could start your own. X

@Tiredbadger that's really nice to hear how it works for you and your daughter, sounds like you're both enjoying it. What activities do u do? @Zeze247 sounds like school isn't the only way to make friends. This was one of my concerns, I will look into Facebook etc and try to find people near me that are homeschooling to see how it works for them and any groups we could go to. @Lightningbolt82 interesting perspective about only having my views, my daughter is very independent and has her own mind, I think she will develop her own views and if I chose homeschooling, being around other children would still be important. She would have the freedom to think for herself and continue to question everything .

It kind of seems like you have made up your mind about this! Good luck with whatever you decide to do. You can always change if things don't go as expected.

Whereabouts in the uk are you op? I can possibly point you in the direction of local home ed groups. I home educate. Feel free to pm me if you'd like.

Do home ed if you want to try it. I’m sure your daughter will thrive because you sound committed.

I HE mine to 16, 1 at uni now, 1 going this year and 2 still at home. It’s a wonderful lifestyle, following your child’s interests and allowing them to develop at their own pace, I would heartily recommend it.

Do search out your local HE groups on FB, just type in Home education and your nearest town also HE and your county. They’ll give you access to activities every day if you want them, classes, history workshops, cut price riding lessons, Lego robotics, mini Olympics... you name it. And there’s nothing quite like visiting local attractions in term time when they’re empty. Good luck.

People who Home Ed do it for themselves, not for the child. Fact.

Llangellith, I must know you as you know for a fact that I'm home educating for myself and not my child. And you also know every home educator in the country. Amazing! Or bollocks.

I home educate (as lots of my friends do) because the school system has completely let my child down. And I didn't want his mental health to suffer under the pressure of the SATs the government insist on putting kids through.

If I had my time again I'd not have put him in school at all.

The best thing is to join some local Facebook groups and see what's going on around you. Ask questions, go to a meet up. When I started everyone was really happy to answer any questions, and meet up.

Hi Ella! I think it's well worth starting off with home education if you have a sense that it's what it right for your daughter at this time. If and when you think school would suit her, it's easy to change.

I home educated my two (now 18 and 11) right the way through except for a few months when one of them wanted to try school. A great many HE kids I know have been to school at some point. People who haven't home educated often imagine that going into school after a long spell of HE must be a huge challenge and therefore HE has to be a big commitment. I think this overlooks two points:

1. Adjusting to school is easier when a child is ready. Four year olds struggle with many challenges at school which are easier for older kids: spending many hours away from people who know them well and are attuned to their individual needs, wiping their bottoms properly after using the toilet, feeling confident enough to ask for help when they need it and survive without it when they don't, eating enough lunch that they don't get hungry and ratty, looking after their own stuff, having the energy to be on the go all day without getting exhausted and needing some downtime, negotiating friendships, sitting and focusing. When my nine year old went to school for the first time, all of these things were easy for her. She was a competent big kid who had been developing these skills for years in various settings. The other children weren't really conscious of the fact that she hadn't been to school before.

2. It seems likely that a significant proportion of children who are HE are being HE because school is not a good fit for them. When such children go to school, yes, the adjustment will be hard for them. That isn't because they were home educated in their early years. They would find school tough no matter what. Someone on this forum whose child has SEN once said words to this effect: "People assume my child is like this because he's been home educated. Why can't they see that he's been home educated because he's like this?" So, if you've only ever run across a few home educated children, and those children struggle with social interactions or prove unable to sit still or cannot do basic arithmetic at the age of twelve, remember the fact that HE kids are a self-selected group who are more likely to have such problems. Going to school at an earlier age wouldn't have turned them into average children; in many cases it simply would have made them unhappy.

Our usual school starting age is among the youngest in the world. There's no evidence that an early start at school benefits children. If you think yours would thrive better at home for now, trust your instincts. If you think she'd do better at school in a year or two or six, I'm sure she'll find the transition easy if school is the right place for her, and difficult if it isn't.