Is it possible to cover curriculum whilst homeschooling at weekends only ?

[Babieseverywhere]

We have a bright 6yo DS, who is not doing well academically and the latest email from school says he is doing as well as they expect from him....which is no progress in the last two terms on phonics wise.

We will be asking school to help but doubt they will do anything as he is "fine".

DS is a brilliant child who has some social communication difficulties (not seen at school) and OT needs to overcome as he struggles with his balance/handwriting (not seen at school) and is very hard to keep him sat down and concentrating.

DH and I are looking at whether, we could teach him enough at weekends, so he could catch up at school.

How many hours a week would have to be done to cover maths, reading, spelling and phonics ?

Yes, he is bright and an unsupportive school does not change that. I know him and even the school said he was bright in reception and he did several classes with year one because he is clever. The school are failing him.

'He clearly isn't "brilliant" or particularly "bright" if you feel he can't keep up at school. Sorry, but true.'

Ah right. I guess Thomas Edison, Winston Churchill and Richard Branson were not particularly bright either then.

change school?

The school say he is doing fine, but you think he isn't making progress.

Sometimes children in reception pick things up very quickly, but then they don't appear to carry on progressing at this huge speed and the other children catch up. Like learning to walk- just because a child starts walking at 8 months doesn't mean they are going to be a fantastic athlete, they just 'got it' before their peers. Is this is what has happened with your son.

I am confused about the parenting course- is this something they suggested because you are expecting your son to be like your daughters and they wanted you to know that not all children are the same and it's ok for a 6 year old boy not to like sitting down and concentrating, it doesn't mean there is something wrong with him.

The problems you list your son as having, have they been diagnosed by anyone?

Well if the school are failing him then you either move school or HE , it's not fair to be doing lots of extra school work after school and weekends at that age.

The issues I mention have been officially diagnosed by doctors/consultants.

I am shocked that any parenting course would validate that you are "parenting correctly". There is no such thing as a right way to parent. It varies for every child, every family and their changing circumstances. All a patenting course will seek to do is equip you with a range of techniques from which you can pick and choose in order to build communication and self-esteem so that your child can grow up to be confident, resilient and cooperative.

Either the parenting course was a load of bollocks or you have chosen to selectively hear only some of the messages.

He has two older sisters? This explains a lot.

A lot of children with older siblings appear "bright" in reception and year one because they have picked up a lot of stuff from their siblings, so already know a lot of stuff that the others are just learning. They aren't bright, they have just been exposed to things.

As they get older their true ability becomes more apparent.

I agree with people saying this school isn't a good fit for your DS, however good it seems on paper.

I have seen a few of your other threads babies and I know you've been concerned about your DS for a while.

I just wanted to give you my experience because I have a 7 year old DD with social communication problems and my experience of her school couldn't be more different then yours.

DDs school actually raised concerns about DDs problems themselves, and pushed me to get her assessed. They wrote a referral letter to the GP for a comm paed referral. They have supported me and DD is this process. They have put her forward for outreach support from an outside agency that's coming into school. They've supported DD in class to help her focus and understand complex instructions - she doesn't require much extra support to be honest, just keeping on task, removing distractions and explaining things a bit more. They're supporting her and are understanding with her difficulties in handwriting and fine motor skills. They have put things in place for when she finds things difficult - mostly at play time and lunch time. She has had a bit of support from staff from the onsite ASD unit. DD is mostly happy to go to school and is progressing well, she is bright.

My DD's difficulties are subtle - I missed them! She doesn't have a diagnosis yet, and may not even get one, but school are still taking her difficulties seriously. This is how it should be.

I'm sorry you and your DS are struggling to access the support he needs, but if you feel his school are failing him massively (and I would agree) then you should at least consider other options.

I don't think teaching him at evenings and weekends will do him any favours. I know my DD needs down time at the evening and weekends or she struggles so much more at school. Se has difficulties winding down anyway - after a busy week her sleeping and eating goes out the window, she complains of tummy aches and has far more meltdowns. She really just needs as much time to relax and watch TV/ play on her tablet/read in order to recharge for the week ahead.

What do you think the school are not doing but need to be doing? I ask this because you think you can rectify the problems weekends and evenings...

MY DS had an issue with his handwritting that were not been resolved in school mainly as his self belief was going down. I sent him to a tutor 1 hour a week for a term.. It gave him the boost he needed.

How is he managing in the classroom? Is it due to behaviours they thought you needed a parenting course?

Oh and because I have found the whole thing so stressful and that's with a supportive school. I can't imagine how difficult it must be when your school refuse to help :( :(

Lucky Charms

I'll have to rethink.

If you plotted any child's progress on a graph, you wouldn't find a lovely straight trajectory. You'd find it resembled something more like a set of stairs with leaps in progress and then plateaus. So the fact that your son isn't progressing right now doesn't mean there is necessarily anything to be worried about. It also means the fact that he was 'brilliant' in reception (or whenever it was) and is less great at school now doesn't really mean anything. However, if you are worried you should seek another (professional) opinion.

God knows what you do on a parenting course but hopefully at some point you've discovered that in general girls learn very differently to boys. So hopefully you're not thinking that your DS will be in any way similar to your DDs. You'd be doing him a disservice if you are.

A little bit of reinforcing what he's learning at school during the weekends is probably no bad thing. Trying to cram what you consider to be a week's worth of learning into a weekend when he's already spent the week at school will not be a good thing unless their is really nothing that HE would like more. There will be no quicker way to put him off wanting to learn than forcing him to do it.

One last thing: You say you want him to catch up at school. If the school is as ineffective as you suggest, who is it he is supposed to be catching up with? Presumably all the other bright children at his school are in the same boat.

OP's DP here, DS may not be 'brilliant' compared to his peers. Though as ever he is in our eyes. Please do not overemphasise the superlatives.

However School has clearly written him off as a poor performer educationally. Whilst it is hard to compare him to his peers from our limited perspective as his mere parents I find it strange that a group of people who for various reasons have decided that formal education does not suit their children should fixate on this rather than offer constructive advice.

OP is a caring mum who is trying to do the best for her Son. I don't believe we can make up for the School's failings with weekend work and has been, helpfully, said in this thread working him weekend in addition to weekday formal ed sounds too much. OP came to this forum to hopefully get the views of people of who tried this approach, not get lambasted for her use of language in regard to her Son.

/rant.

I'm not a HE parent. My DD goes to school. So my point had nothing to do with choosing HE, because I haven't.

Has school really "written him off" or have they just been trying to tell you the truth about his abilities?

I think a little 1:1 support can go a long way. You don't need to cover the whole curriculum at home because that's already being covered at school. You need to give him a bit of a boost in key areas to help him access the work that's being done at school.

I'd ask for a meeting with school and get some clarification about that "no progress in phonics". Where's he stuck? What is it he's finding difficult? Then find a way to work on that with him, ideally using games so it's not "just more work" for him. Depending on what stage he's at there are lots of fun things online he might enjoy. Getting him back on track in phonics will help the reading and spelling too. Get the teacher to tell you some key sticking points in maths too. Think about the activities he enjoys to help work on his concentration - does he like playing board games? card games? doing jigsaws?

And I'd be thinking in terms of 10 minute chunks once or twice a day rather than cramming stuff in at the weekend. Little and often. (Unless you can get him hooked on a suitable phonics game, in which case you may find your role is dragging him away from it for mealtimes )

DearHusband,

"OP came to this forum to hopefully get the views of people of who tried this approach, not get lambasted for her use of language in regard to her Son."

I'm sorry you and your DP are finding some of the comments unsupportive. I'm afraid that on an open forum such as Mumsnet, there aren't any restrictions on who can post on each board so you'll get a range of people posting. It can be tricky to know at a glance which of the people posting have the experience you are seeking.

Hope you'll be able to pick out the bits you find useful here anyway.

Stepping away from the wider issues on which I'm not qualified to comment, I'd agree with the posters who've said that a failure to grasp phonics is going to be a huge barrier to everything else at this age, and this will only get worse.

I'd focus quite hard on that, using a systematic programme, but as pp said in very very small daily chunks not hours at weekends. His response may show you exactly what his issues are.

Oh and get his hearing checked if you haven't already. Any reading or behaviour issues at KS1 always specifically check hearing, never assume.

Various friends have had success with hiring a tutor to help for half an hour after school or on a Saturday morning. That way the formal learning was only extended for a short time and was more manageable for parents and less daunting for the child.

Totally agree with catkind. Lots of games and activites can have an educational slant. Also agree that reading would be the best thing to help him with at home, and there is a lot you can do to help by reading to him and asking questions.

I would change schools. A 6 yr old does not want a week at school and then his weekend full of more school work. Much better to play chess with him, get him cooking, long walks in the country, take him swimming etc.

Saracen, thank you. I do understand the nature of the forum I was just a little surprised.

AnneEyhtMeyer, we have to start from the position that they are letting him down. If we just shrug and carry on what kind of parents would that make us? Besides, if he's a bit of a plank and is doing badly shouldn't we look for ways to help him catch up?

If he's not making progres with the formal methods used in school, why do you think that teaching him formally at the weekends will make a difference?
By all means do whatever you can at home, but lessons in 'maths, writing and phonics' might not be as effective as you hope.
You need to have a lot more very specific, detailed information on his strengths and weaknesses before you can devise a suitable learning method for him, and that method may well need to change as he does.
He's having trouble with phonics.
Is that in recognising the sounds and matching them to letters, in blending or segmenting, in comprehension of what word the blended sounds make?
Is it in recognising alternate spellings for the same phoneme? Is it writing them down?

What's he finding hard about maths?

Sorry to hear your DS is struggling :( Do you think the school would be open to the idea of flexi-schooling? Just one day a week would give your DS more one-to-one time than he would get in a whole week of school, and you could concentrate on what he needs to catch up on.

You said the doctor has given him a diagnosis- is the school just not recognising it? Sorry, I don't know much about SEN and schools so I don't know if they're always required to do anything or not.

Academically fine and two years behind do not make sense, so perhaps you need a formal, sit down meeting withthe teacher and the SENCo at which you have specific questions and record the responses in writing. Start building a file.
Does he have a dx of anything from the Ed Psych or OT?
What reasons are the school giving for his lack of progress?