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Home ed

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Original poster

Home ed is a little pricey!

52 replies

Thinking2014 · 15/10/2014 09:46

So I've realised the reason we haven't joined in on about 80% of the home ed events...its pricey! I'll list of a few examples:
Travel (I don't have a car) = traveling on public transport with 3 kids (3 yo twins & 8yo)
Now a bus or two is manageable but trains into London is a stressful journey for me to make on my own with them.... Putting that aside though....
Kew gardens (weekly home ed meet up) = £18 adult ticket + travel costs
Party man's world events = £5 per child (that's £15 for a couple hours for my kids to play...)
Log cabin is £5 but I have to catch 2 buses there and back
Other workshops usually cost over £5 per child too...

How do you all do it? I was planning a trip to Legoland this month but it would cost around £80 more or less (yes thats with the home ed discount) but I can't do it now...money just keeps slipping away from me whether it goes on clothes for the kids or bills....i just don't know...I've even decided Xmas is going to be seriously trimmed because A) the kids don't need more toys! But mostly B) lack of funds I'm just going to get them one toy each (from Santa) and the rest will be family fame boards & educational type things.

I did go to a park meet up but hardly anyone turned up & usually its not very convienant for me to get to most of them.

I only worry because my 8 yo daughter has expressed a wish to meet friends her age. Since leaving school she's only met up with one but because they're still in school its a little tricky arranging stuff! :-P

Sorry for the long winded moan! Just thought that maybe I'm missing something?

OP posts:
Somanyillustrations · 17/10/2014 13:21

Your poor DD Sad

How on earth is she going to develop a sense of her own self and gain independence if you don't give her a chance?! Her hating you if far less of a problem than the very high risk of her being unable to function in real life. She can't stay with you forever you know...

I'm ambivalent about HE, but you are doing her no favours by wrapping her in cotton wool.

ChippingInLatteLover · 17/10/2014 13:21

Is your mistrust of strangers why you are homeschooling?

Is there anyone you trust to have your twins while you do activities with your older DD?

Heels99 · 17/10/2014 13:28

Poor Girl, life sounds rather dull for her, is there no way she could go back to school if you actually can't afford to home ed and she wants more company?

MadeInChorley · 17/10/2014 13:32

"Over what the alternatives could end up being"

Erm, it's Brownies, not FightClub. Genuine question - what do you imagine might happen you out DD? Couldn't you enroll her with a Brownie pack, stay for a week or two until she settles in and she can continue alone if she enjoys it? You sound v over protective and unrealistic. Your DD needs to stretch her wings and mix with her peers without you hovering.

Heels99 · 17/10/2014 13:38

I guess when you think of the fantastic range of resources they have in school, to provide those yourself at home would cost a fortune. Let alone visits from theatre groups, musicians that they have once per term at no cost or at much reduced cost to organising yourself unless you are near lots of free attractions or no travel costs. Science dome just came to our school kids had an amazing afternoon

RueDeWakening · 17/10/2014 13:41

Is it something about the Brownie programme you don't like, or the leaving DD with a stranger? If it's the programme, have you considered Woodcraft Folk, or Girls Brigade? (I know nothing about those two, but am a Rainbow Guider.)

Most Brownie packs would welcome another adult helper with open arms, so becoming a unit helper could also be an option if someone else can look after your twins for 90 minutes or so every week.

Somanyillustrations · 17/10/2014 13:45

I'm with Heels on this. If you can provide a better quality education than is available in your local schools, then I can see why you might be interested in HE. If you can't then you are doing your children a huge disservice. Honestly, the likelihood of your DD being harmed by a "stranger" is far too low for you to use it as a reason to bugger her life up.

AmeliaPeabody · 17/10/2014 13:48

Yes, have a look in your area, lots of forest schools organised during school time, for home schoolers and pre schoolers.

BuckskinnedAstronaut · 17/10/2014 13:53

You could become a Brownie leader yourself -- they are usually crying out for parents to get involved.

I agree annual membership to Kew would be £72 or £62 by DD -- so for 52 weeks that would work out at about £1.20 a week.

UnrelatedToElephants · 17/10/2014 13:56

You can go along as a parent helper to brownies? See for yourself.

magpiegin · 17/10/2014 14:59

How about a sports club? Gym, athletics, football etc? Good for friends and you could stay at first (until the coaches are no longer strangers)

wannabestressfree · 17/10/2014 15:28

My long held opinions on home Ed has really been changed by mumsnet. The work some of you do with an option to schooling is fantastic. This is one case though where I go back to my old beliefs. 'I
Won't change my mind on brownies' I have heard it all now!
To say 'if she hates me so be it' is horribly short sighted. You are depriving her of friends and social interaction beyond you. You refuse to take her to expensive things- so in my opinion lack the ability to home educate properly.
This WILL bite you on the arse and if you are willing to incure her wrath I am wondering why you are doing this? For what ends?

ommmward · 17/10/2014 16:07

Park meets: in my experience it's usually between 3 and 6 families who turn up. they are networking opportunities - once we've met a family at the park a few times, we might begin to invite each other to our houses, or make definite plans to meet in (cheap) places which we then invite other people along to on our local HE facebook page. That sort of thing - you have to make your corner of the HE community, it doesn't just happen by magic. And it might take a few occasions before you feel comfortable swapping phone numbers with another Mum - and that's fine too :)

fuzzpig · 18/10/2014 08:55

TBH the cost of HE is a big worrying factor for me (DCs at school but HE very much a possibility if it's needed) and especially not having a car. I think it would take a lot more planning as we wouldn't be able to be so spontaneous. I'd like to think we could still manage but we'd have to make sure we made the most of the opportunities that were available.

Heels99 · 18/10/2014 09:14

HomeEd is resource intensive: time, patience, ability to educate, ability to research and fund resources, expense of providing all own equipment and resources, travel and cost of out of home activities. I know I couldn't do it and wouldn't want to, school can do a better job than I. But if it was something I was considering I would be making sure I had all those resources. Not giving children the opportunity to socialise with others and not allowing them to participate in group activities and being broke fiNancially are going to somewhat hinder the HE set up.

windypolar · 18/10/2014 10:43

Home educator here also.

I know people say you can do it on a shoe string, but it is expensive and it's only going to get worse. Exams can cost approx £180 per exam, per paper even, when the time comes.

The socialisation needs to be sorted out. It's as important as the core academic subjects. The LA, if you're on their radar, would take a very dim view of the OP current situation. And, sorry to be harsh, but the 'not leaving with strangers' sounds plain paranoid.

I'm going to be disloyal and say that some of the 'better' examples, I hear of socialisation over on the HE groups is woefully inadequate. The 'we're out and about in our local community, go to the library and a weekly HE group, and the occasional workshop and meetup' is just not good enough.

My dh and I are run off our feet to make sure that DC have, at least, a couple of hours every day in the company of other children. It's so important that they meet other children and have opportunity to make friends and are not lonely.

windypolar · 18/10/2014 10:47

Good luck OP. I hope you manage it and that I wasn't too harsh. It is hard at times I know.

Try posting in your local Facebook/Yahoo group to find people who live locally and want to meet up. Lots of people do this. This could cut out some of the travel/

ommmward · 18/10/2014 14:49

I have to disagree, Windypolar. Some children thrive on the company of others. Families blessed with a clutch of neurotypical extroverts please step forward.

But an introverted child on the autistic spectrum? A couple of hours every day in the company of other children might be sheer hell for that child.

One of the biggest lessons I've learned in home educating my children is to try to find out what makes my children thrive, intellectually, socially, emotionally and physically, and to do more of that, rather than to assume I have the faintest idea what will make someone else's children thrive.

(and, for what it's worth, my children are intensively in the company of other children for several hours for, on average, 3 days a week. 4 is too many - we all get burn out after a few weeks of that; 2 is too few - we begin to get a bit antsy, including me. And that's what works for us - YMMV).

windypolar · 18/10/2014 18:37

Some children thrive on the company of others. Families blessed with a clutch of neurotypical extroverts please step forward.

But I'm guessing the OP's child is one of those as she has requested a wish to meet friends her age.
And only the company of their younger siblings most of the time. That's not good even for an introvert. They do need some socialisation opportunities. It doesn't have to be done in a large group of same-age children kind of way.

We regularly meet up with a family with a child on the autistic spectrum, too (she's one of my DC's best friends).

windypolar · 18/10/2014 18:38

expressed a wish, not requested!

Nigglenaggle · 18/10/2014 19:47

Each to their own windy I would have been delighted to socialise less than I was forced to at school. It was hell for me and at weekends I used to lock myself away in my room to try and recharge a little. However I go off topic a little as it's clear that the Op's daughter wants to socialise. My children are younger, but by 8,OP, I'll be worried if they aren't spending some time each week independently with an adult who isn't family. Plenty of useful life skills they need from that situation. I wonder if OP has had or knows someone who has had a bad experience with brownies though? And perhaps we should all calm down a little?

windypolar · 18/10/2014 19:59

Oh yes of course that's not for everyone. It doesn't have to resemble school socialisation at all and I know ours doesn't.

I just read of so much of the other extreme of near isolation that it's become a bugbear of mine. The OP is obviously addressing this and trying to create opportunities for her child, and as requested

AnyoneForTardis · 20/10/2014 17:09

^I have to disagree, Windypolar. Some children thrive on the company of others. Families blessed with a clutch of neurotypical extroverts please step forward.

But an introverted child on the autistic spectrum? A couple of hours every day in the company of other children might be sheer hell for that child.

One of the biggest lessons I've learned in home educating my children is to try to find out what makes my children thrive, intellectually, socially, emotionally and physically, and to do more of that, rather than to assume I have the faintest idea what will make someone else's children thrive.

(and, for what it's worth, my children are intensively in the company of other children for several hours for, on average, 3 days a week. 4 is too many - we all get burn out after a few weeks of that; 2 is too few - we begin to get a bit antsy, including me. And that's what works for us - YMMV).^

This ^^ Mine too,

someone please tell me abouyt home ed discounts?

TinkerLula · 21/10/2014 21:47

Hi OP,
I think it can be expensive initially.......for us we kind of went to everything going until I worked out what suited us. The beauty is that if you go to enough stuff regularly you will eventually find a core group of friends for your kids, you can then back off some groups that don't suit and switch to playdates, which cost nothing:) My kids have met lovely friends this way and a small group of us meet in each others houses every week for social get togethers but also to share projects.
Enough time with friends is critical for my DD. It is a genuine need which I take very seriously. She also has a strong need for independence, an I try very hard to find things she can do on her own. Brownies did not work out for her sadly. she was very isolated there and it was very cliquey. We have since swapped to Girls Brigade and I'm happy to report this is going well:) I personally would like more stuff I can drop her off at, but for me this is the hardest part of HE. She needs time without me.
My son, well he's different! He would positively hate loads of social interaction everyday! This is the absolute beauty of HE though.
Good luck! There are always ways around things with HE but you need to be very proactive and ensure all your childrens needs are met. They rely on you for that.

TinkerLula · 21/10/2014 21:54

oh yes and when we moved house a long while back and we knew no-one. I just had an open house once a month to meet other home edders. I organised one activity and got everyone to bring a dish for a shared lunch. Kids made their best friends from these meet ups:) Where theres a will theres a way!
Oh another idea for you........does your library have a room? Could you invited a few home edders along once a week for an hour for the kids to work on their own projects (lap books or something). The library is free and should be fine to give you a space as its community group? You can use library resources for researching projects. Kids can work on their own stuff but sometimes its great for them to work alongside each other for companionship and also to motivate and inspire each other.