Really awful day today :(

[CaisleanDraiochta]

I've been told I am neglecting my DD, by preventing her from having an education. I've been threatened with social services and told that if I home educate her I will have to be visited weekly by a social worker and an education officer AND prove exactly what she has learnt that week. Every week without fail.

But if I leave her in the failing school, where she is miserable, bullied and learning nothing, the same school who have refused to offer any additional support that would be just fine. It's just the fact that I care about my DD's wellbeing and want her to actually learn that is considered neglect.

and trying to hold back the tears until DC are in bed

It's an actual bonafide social worker - you know the professional we are all scared of that has the right to ask about your sex life and expect an honest and open answer.

Any child with a statement qualifies technically as "a child in need". This meant our house move and my parallel choice to home ed got flagged up automatically as worthy of investigation.

I look upon it as here's a kid with a truly grotty school history who is completely unknown to local services, with a single ethnic Mum. After all the horror stories in the press recently can you blame the new area for going onto auto "sterotype alert"?

DS has SN's but is learning, happy and healthy and I'm not the witch from Hanzel and Gretal, or keeping him in my broom cupboard under the stairs so I just put up with it for now, as they'll see that for themselves in good time. (& I have no exciting secret scandalous second life to pep them up back at the office round the coffee cooler - nosey parkers!)

It's turned out that the school environment was just too much overload for his diagnosed sensory issues but, that actually he can learn and make good progress when that problem is removed. We all know councils don't want to pay for anything useful, so the investigation will probably result in a report that gets filed away and forgotten - so an irritation while it is ongoing, but one that's a price worth paying for a child who is so much happier and finally able to learn iyswim.

I thought social workers were short staffed and over worked ,surely one or two visits would suffice and if everything looks ok that should be it ,what a waste of resources ,let's hope there is not some kiddy in your area being battered to death and starved whilst she's drinking tea at yours .

Caislean no, a child with a statement wouldn't be automatically classed as child in need.

The reason I asked if she had a statement was because as a LA, they are legally obliged to monitor progress (annual review meetings they're called) and in my LA great efforts are made to find suitable school places for kids with statements. I would suggest speaking to parent partnership or IPSEA re. your rights to HE.

If I'd answered the door with a growling pitbull and a huge tattooed gorilla in tow I doubt she'd have visited more than once. (cynical moi? ).

To be fair the LA ed dept seem to be taking a while to come out and monitor, the NHS hasn't exactly been in a hurry either, and I think my SW is just trying to plug that gap and be supportive as we've just moved into the area, so are completely unknown here. "Child in need" for disabled kids is supposed to be about SS helping out with things like specialist home equipment, respite care etc. In all honesty that's fair enough.

You ONLY have to ask permission to home ed a statemented child if you are removing them from a special school and then it's a formality just to check that vulnerable children are kept safe. It's almost unheard of to be refused (it might for instance if the child needed very specialist round the clock nursing care that could only be provided in the setting of a residential placement).

wouldn't be Surrey council people would it?

they were bullying with me.

we had to move to another borough and my new nborough are brilliant and supportive with my home ed. they come once a year for an annual review and that's it.

you are perfectly within your rights to home ed. and its legal.

not Surrey, but not far from there (within easy commuting distance)

the threats have worked though, I've backed down and sent DD into school today so i appear reasonable and willing to give the new package of support they have offered DD a go. hopefully it will take the heat off for a while so when I do de-reg her, they won't send in the heavies straight away.

so when I collected DD at 3 today, of course I was told what a wonderful day she had. Only to hear later from her that staff had found it necessary to use physical restraint on her during the day :( i don't want to send he back there. I don't want adults physically restraining my tiny (9th centile) 8 year old. I don't want my child being put in such a position that she can't cope to the extent that she would ever need to be restrained. And if that is what they class as a good day, I really don't want to think what might happen on a bad one :(

Just de register and let them do their worse ,at least you will have a happy child .

Bloody hell. HE is not for me but if my dd was as unhappy as yours I'd be moving the earth to improve the situation.

I am so that they are threatening you. To me it is completely logical that some dc will never thrive in a school environment, even if it's an amazing school.

Get her out of there. It's a lot harder to repair a broken child than it is to fight the authorities, as many HE parents will know from painful experience.

Do you have a friendly person in school you can ask about the restraint. Or pop by the school office & ask - every instance of physical intervention used should be documented & she should have a behaviour plan that specifies when it will be used & what method (they have fancy names). You can get quite heavy about them using restraint in appropriately. Actually don't pop by the office - email & ask for a copy of the paperwork relating to yesterday. Then it's in writing.

FWIW I am possibly going to be removing my disabled son from an LEA service (not school). We have had increasing problems with it & my son's reaction this week was the final straw. I was cc'd into an email (by mistake I think) from the manager of the service where she told my son's teacher he'd had a brilliant time. Her definition of brilliant time clearly varies from mine as I left him screaming & shaking & know he took an hour to calm down. I was so livid I immediately emailed his teacher & said I wasn't at all happy with the latest email she'd received. A roundabout way of saying it seems people become defensive & non objective when you are close to removal from a service. Corresponding by email is helpful as then you can put your side politely & reasonabley & there's a written record. I find it much harder verbally - am usually too busy trying not to cry.

A friendly SW can be onside. I know they vary - but I called mine yesterday to help sort out the mess. She's very understanding & does try to work out what's best for us.

I do agree with those saying get her out. As you're in England the law really is on your side.

Where is your dd today OP ?

OP

So sorry you are having to go through this, and then people wonder why some h.ed parents don't want to know the LA.
You have done nothing wrong and you are quite within your rights to H.ed.
Take your dd out of school and let them do their worst.

find your partnership with parents liason person.

mines brilliant and super supportive.

and my DCs special needs are the reason shes homeschooled, she couldn't cope at all in school, especially as she gets older.

its the best thing we ever did and truly rewarding.

Hi OP.

any updates you can give us?

I can't give any advice, but it’s so disgusting that if you try to go through the correct channels they ALWAYS put obstacles in your way.
I looked into it for my 13 year old daughter once, they told me i would need gas pipes and science lab equipment, and basically made it impossible for her education to be done at home.

www.amazon.co.uk/Trends-Uk-Ltd-SM01-Chemistry/dp/B000CEB152/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1396295574&sr=8-1&keywords=chemistry+set

This set will get you through a chemistry igcse.

So long as you check and double check you are following the letter of law, you'll be fine OP. Having your GP onside helps too.

^www.amazon.co.uk/Trends-Uk-Ltd-SM01-Chemistry/dp/B000CEB152/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1396295574&sr=8-1&keywords=chemistry+set

This set will get you through a chemistry igcse. ^

I went off the idea and decided to just let her slowly loose interested in school, i also told them not to bother phoning me up a few years from now when she stops paying attention in lessons.