Support thread for new home educators

[ToffeeWhirl]

There seem to be a lot of us around at the moment, so I thought it might help us all to have a place where we can swap ideas, chivvy each other along on the bad days and cheer for each other on the good days.

I have two boys, the oldest is 12 and is just starting out in home education. My youngest is 6 and is still at school. Fortunately for me, he has just told me he's missing school and looking forward to going back .

We have had a good summer, with lots of dog walking, excursions, get-togethers with friends and family and minimal rules on television watching and computers. I have had a lovely time ordering books for our home ed library (failed to reign myself in on this ) and planning what we are going to study .

The plan at the moment is for DS1 to do a bit of Science, Maths and English every morning. He has a tutor for English once a week and we are going to get him a Maths tutor too. We will spend the rest of the time doing projects, reading together, practising handwriting, art, etc etc. Fridays are going to be 'free' days for informal learning, such as excursions.

I have been in touch with the local HE groups and we are planning to meet up with other HE families.

I'm spending some time today organising everything - plans, timetables, files, folders, lapbooks, etc. We have a visit from the LEA next Thursday, which gives me a good deadline to work towards.

I would love to hear how the rest of you newbies are getting on. And words of wisdom from the more experienced home educators are very welcome too!

Mixed morning here. DD was fine but I popped to Aldi while she was doing independent history work because DH was at home. Felt very smug thinking how much I'd saved in Aldi and then reversed into a car in the car park thereby wiping out all of my savings and more. So angry with myself right now, actually no, I'm FURIOUS with myself.

I found some worksheets on commas for her to do in English. I think she's got it apart from dates which tbh are a bit stupid in rules terms.

I've found the TES website good for stuff like that. Found some bargain Carol Voderman books in Aldi this morning (reduced to £1.99).

She did a great evacuee picture and annotated it with lots of describing words. She got 9/10 on her spellings too!

She also did a great data handling exercise on rainfall data we found online last week.

Think we're carrying on with weather data and looking at why certain crops and industries suit certain parts of the country. Found a good teachers tv programme on why weather forecasts are useful for various industries do we'll watch that.

Oh, poor you, Helen. You have a nasty cold, don't you? That probably didn't help matters. Oh dear, what is it with new home educators and their cars at the moment (Colleger too)? I just hope it doesn't prove as expensive as you think it will be.

I bought those Carol Vorderman books in Aldi too! They are really useful revision for DS1 and a bargain at 1.99.

It sounds like the home ed is going really well, Helen. I feel a bit frustrated with our own morning, although I should look on the bright side and remember that DS1 managed to have his English lesson at his tutor's house this morning, which is an achievement in itself. So he has done a 'proper' English lesson (on 'Romeo and Juliet') as well as overcoming his anxieties.

However, we then tackled what DS called 'Nibble Maths' and it didn't help him understand the concept of exchanging/borrowing at all, although he did enjoy eating the Cheerios . I do wonder how much he concentrates with me though. I suspect he'd work harder with a Maths tutor. I then let him play on MangaHigh, which he loved - and it gave me a chance to get some housework done (poor, neglected house ).

Only an hour till the school run and we have only got through English, Maths and Handwriting this morning (and the latter was all of two minutes). Stopping for lunch now, then will try to get DS1 to finish a Biology worksheet, then we'll start on our Geography project.

Oh, and I have just emailed MangaHigh to ask them if home educators can join.

toffee have you looked at the Khan Academy website. I found a fab online lesson on subtracting decimals which DD watched twice. It's free too .

Hi everyone, had a weekend switched off from HE, no diary, no reading on the subject, no MN, nothing! Think it helped to think about other things for a while, I managed to catch up on housework and gin laundry and sleep!

Sounds like there are some trials going on with pranged cars/wayward DC/illness, hope everyone has had a good afternoon.

I have a meeting with the LEA tomorrow, am nervous as they are reputedly hostile to HE. The info they sent me makes much mention of school attendance orders and describes HE as 'challenging'. We are not in the UK so not sure what to expect. I've received some good advice on this thread, so am going to hopefully be assertive without going on the offensive!

intersat can i ask how old your daughter is?? yes the process is awful and no you dont need to take her unless theyre doing a medical or an ados there is no need for her to hear herself being discussed if you dont want her to!! I hated the whole experience evey appointment left me more and more confused and heartbroked. Espcially the IEP meetings at pre school where his targets at 3 years old we things like 'pull own underpants up', 'say another childs name'.
I still find it hard sometimes but im definately more content since we got the diagnosis, moved boroughs and got everyone out of our lives. The difference in him is astounding as well. He now stays at home with me and we do lots of one on one playtime, pre school classes and groups and he may or may not go to reception next year.
I am currently being referred to a whole bunch of professionals but as yet havent heard from any and cant say im looking forward to it!! I am paying for him to do a weekly group session called talking tots in place of speech therapy but it hasnt started yet!

morethan sorry to hear about your daughters confidence taking a knock i hope she overcomes this soon, hopefulkyafter a few weeks at new class she will be more comfortable and enjoy it.
toffee well done on your ds going to the tutor sound like you had a nice time with his wife as well thats good. Sorry he didnt get the maths work but he will get there eventually, I always found maths and science more difficult than anything ekse. THinks its because you have to just get it, you cant reason like in other subjects!

Well today i went with the kids to art grouo which was great but full of annoying mums as usual. Its the only group i go to where parents constantly annoy me telling there kids off for doing it 'wrong'. one little girl was nearly in tears as her mum went of in one at her for painting on the wrong side of her paoer! embarassing.
Gonna try a new playgroup tomorrow and got some playdough and activities sorted for them to play with inbetween.

mam and anyone else with kids under about 6 cab i recommend a blog called the imagination tree. I get loads of idea from there its full of creative play ideas for young kids its great.

Helen - That website is fantastic! Thanks so much. Not only does it have a lesson on subtraction with borrowing, which includes a video (if he doesn't get it after that, I'm going to give up for a bit ), but it has all sorts of stuff on computer science, which I think he'll love.

TBex - your weekend off sounds like good idea. Best of luck with the LEA tomorrow. Let us know how it goes.

Iris - how wonderful that you and DS are so much happier since you moved. The diagnosis process is so difficult and it must have been a huge relief to leave everyone associated with that behind. That art group sounds awful. I hope the new playgroup is better and that you find some kindred spirits there.

I received two new textbooks today (Lonsdale Essentials) (ahem - I wasn't meant to be ordering anymore ) and they give me an overview of what DS1 is meant to know by the end of KS3 for Maths and English.

My plan for tomorrow is to do things slightly differently because our days were getting a bit samey. I'm not quite sure how much we'll get through, but it will include all or some of these:

English - read 'Shadow' (racing towards the end. It's so sad - it'd better have a happy ending)
Handwriting practise
Biology - watch episode one of 'Life of Plants' DVD
English - persuasive writing on the pros and cons of either 'Call of Duty' x-box game or violent computer games generally (topical because DS1 played it for the first time at his friend's house and I am not happy about it at all, leading to a lot of discussions)
Maths - subtraction with borrowing on the Khan Academy website

I have a friend coming round for tea and chat at lunchtime, so I'll leave DS1 to explore the Khan Academy website further then. Will suggest he looks at the computer programming bit, which he wants to learn (we are waiting for a Raspberry Pi for DS1, which is a mini computer you learn to build and programme yourself).

Hope you all have good days tomorrow. Hope you don't have any issues with your LEA visit, TBex.

'sounds like a good idea', I mean, TBex.

Intersat and anyone else interested in MangaHigh Maths: I had a reply to my email, which said:

You can set up a home school if you would like. Simply go to the Mangahigh home page, enter the name of your home school (anything you like really), click register and then you can just register yourself as a home school (there is no difference from a proper school account), with yourself as the teacher. Then you can add your son as a student on your account so you can track his progress and set challenges, etc.

A guide to getting started with all this can be found here:

start.mangahigh.com/

I have now done this, with my DS1 added as my sole pupil.

Helen - there is a wonderful video on the Khan website explaining how to borrow when subtracting. It explained it so much better than I ever could. However, DS1 still says he doesn't understand . He's stormed off to his room for the second time this morning because I lost patience with him. Not for not understanding, but for his 'can't-do' attitude'.

He's not listening and he doesn't try. It is driving me mad. We had the same thing with handwriting. He actually produced some really neat letters, but stormed off because he said he was rubbish.

He did play MangaHigh this morning and he really enjoyed that. Also, it gave me time to do some housework, so the house is looking a bit more cared for now.

Hope you are all having a more successful day than me!

Iris1 My daughter is 12 years old. We suspected something was different but as she is a girl ASD is much harder to spot I think. We weren't even aware that Aspergers existed until I came across it in a book on friendship I had bought to try and help my DD with social situations. Then when the SEN specialist at secondary school suggested it too we started down the (long long) road of a diagnosis.

Secondary school was really hard on DD and I think that just knowing what is going on (as you do) really helps things along. As it was I am not sure how much DD would be able to learn in that sort of environment so home educating seems our best solution.

I am so glad you are happy in your new borough and I understand your reluctance to start seeing new professionals again. We had lots of IEP meetings in the infants about targets like sitting still, lining up, answering questions in class etc. Talk about disheartening.

ToffeeWhirl Thanks so much for the update :) I will try that as well.

Finding it really sad reading here about all the 'targets' set for SEN children. I so hope that HE works out for everyone.

Had the meeting with LEA, it went extremely well considering that it employs me and DH is a former board member! I was expecting a battle over timetables and the definition of 'full time education', but no, the lady we spoke to was more than reasonable and although she described our decision to HE as 'brave', she did also say that school is not right for everyone. She didn't ask for my philosophy of education (as was requested in the paperwork I received), but I was glad I'd done it as it gave me clarity as to what I wanted to achieve and led me to ask pertinent questions.

All in all, I am very pleased, although slightly taken aback that two welfare officers will be coming to visit us. DD1 can even attend events at school as long as I take responsibility for her, which is great news for her.

A good day.

That's great that the LEA visit went so well, TBex. I have had that 'brave' comment too (from DS1's former headmaster) - made me feel a bit nervous, as I hadn't thought of it like that at all. Also good that your DD can still attend school events. I don't understand why you have two welfare officers visiting you though .

Intersat - happy to help . At the moment, MangaHigh is the only Maths DS1 actually enjoys.

Today was a bit rubbish really and DS1 and I fell out more than once. I realised that I have to stop stubbornly trying to teach him the same concept in Maths over and over. Better to take a break and move onto something else. DH just thinks I shouldn't be his Maths teacher at all - thinks it's asking for trouble! Anyway, I'm going to do something completely different on Maths with him tomorrow. Then we'll watch the DVD on plants that we never got round to today. We finished reading 'Shadow' at bedtime tonight (I highly recommend it, by the way - I couldn't put it down by the end) and I have found lots of resources online about it, so we'll do a couple of those tomorrow too. Found a good resource from Amnesty International, using the book as a springboard to look at human rights.

Will try and get a good night's sleep and be more patient tomorrow.

Well we missed out English yesterday but it was replaced by a grown up discussion about our move - budgets, what we want our family life to be like etc. All useful life skills!

Today is trampolining and then our local HE group. Probably some mental maths in the car on the way.

Our move is definitely on. DH is accepting the job today and we're househunting next weekend. We're aiming to have moved by Christmas.

One good thing about our move is that they have a first / middle / upper school system so I don't have to apply for a school place for DD for high school until next September, which will give us longer to decide what we want to do. Here I felt under pressure to apply for a high school place "just in case" because if I didn't I'd only be offered the school that everyone moves house to avoid.

Better today. I'm afraid (unlike you Colleger ) I am now relying on an 'extrinsic' reward to motivate DS1, ie. computer time only starts once home ed' tasks are complete.

DS wrote a bit about 'Shadow', which we finished last night, then we watched episode one of 'Life of Plants'. I thought it was brilliant; DS1 was practically comatose with boredom by the end! I promised him no more plants!

After lunch, DS did his handwriting practise, practised co-ordinates on MangaMaths, then read a bit of History.

He also has to help me do one chore every day from now on and so he did all the drying up as I washed up.

Helen - lots of luck with the house hunting! How exciting!

The exciting thing now about autonomous is that we can live anywhere we want if he does ditch music. So I can go back to Scotland! :D

We've just started home schooling in Winchester! Would love to know if there are any others nearby who might want to start a home ed book group; for adults and young readers together. Opportunity for a bit of a social and some good healthy book talk.

My sons are 5 and 2. My 5 year old was just not fitting the teachers expectations; sitting still, paying attention and they were making such a big deal out of it. It seemed to me his behaviour stemmed primarily from boredom. On the other hand he loved the social side of school and I am really worried that he will be upset when the reality of the situation sinks in. So I am working HARD to find home schooler friends to fill the void.

Ultimately we took this decision because we feel our boy could have a better, more interesting, more fulfilling education outside of school, particularly at this young age. And we find that he is not good at sitting still or waiting his turn to talk. All fine traits in a busy young man, in my opinion. Sadly it seemed to really piss the teacher off. I' a bit scared, so would appreciate any positive supportive words!

So it's a win-win situation, Colleger .

Bee308 - welcome to the thread. Your home ed book group idea is a great one. Have you checked the Yahoo groups pages to see if there's a home ed group locally? You could post there about your idea. You could also see if anyone with children of a similar age wants to meet up in a park or something one day. I know I had lots of replies on our local Yahoo group when I asked for meet ups for my DS1.

Sorry your DS (and you) had a stressful time at school. I'm sure you'll both have a lot of fun home educating.

Hi Bee! Good for you, you've identified that your son and school aren't a fit at a really early stage, I feel really angry at myself for keeping DD1 in school for four long, boring (to her) years. Wish I had taken her out after a term or two. I am working at finding/forming a HE group, too - DD1 is very sociable.

I really am enjoying the endless possibilities of HE although it is knackering with the p/t job, school run and homework (DD2), housework, PTA commitments and a pre-schooler. Am wondering whether we will become a fully HE household and, if so, when?!

Exciting times for Helena and Colleger, looks like both of you might be on the move!

Toffee, glad it was a better day!

well sounds like everyones busy and organised.

Been up since 6am as toddler woke the baby again.

Bit restless anyway.

today is d day with head I think
unless it goes to another meeting.

if he says no I be bit gutted and stuck as he has final word.

lea said in principle fine.

but all rests on head and school if no-no appeal.

think theres low numbers of flexi schoolers in uk 300 and guess some of those reception year not year 2.

Im so hoping can argue thursday
as teachers half day and would do literacy and numeracy in morning-we can do this at hone.

specialist hour gy afternoon she does gym after school thur and member of british gymnastics.

Specialist music teacher-cant afford to add keyboard lessons until after xmas but been looking at keystage 1 music online and thinking cant be too hard-dod consider a composing computer programme or writing our own musical.

im sure i can rustle up something its 3rd week of term after all singing and dancing letters and the specialists not even started!

Having a rubbish week with the reading.
monday came home with book stage lower so wrote a note.
tuesday level above still too easy
wed-same flipping boook as tuesday dont want to be contantly onto them.

Hope everyone has good day.

spent last night googling treasuer for dummies.
just so busy roll on october half term.

Not good news here :(

although proposal good, quality of work submitted very high
flexi schooling turned down.

on grounds that in primary subjects are not standalone
that sometimes works continued over next day
that can expect teachers to set additional specific homework-unions would have a fit.

hes confered with lea -who say legal-non objections.

But heaa, senco- co-ordinator and year teacher feel for reasons above its a no go.

I guess was least expecting to answer some o his concerns and maybe have a trial to see if it can work and alleviate those concerns.

she does have better year 2 teacher this year-possibly best in entire school.

but ta is part time
shes not beeen offered any additional support as yet
shes on largish class of I think 27 with all the youngest in year on top table due to split classes and fact they got more one to one.

I think fact its year -sats may have played a part in it.

Im not unhappy with ethos, pastoral care of school.
The grounds/buildings nice, she has lots of freind just academically not the best with no after school clubs and music until year 5.

dont know what to do

the small village primary currently has 3 year 2 vacanicies its smaller , split classes, grounds and buildings not as good, no freinds there, further away who I guess might agree to flexi school.
But toddler goes preshool next door so another issue.

sensible part of ,me says see how year 2 goes now terms started uprooting her now do more hard than good.

At year 3 people naturally move on, although preffered school may not have the vacancies.

He did say he was impressed what I done and to keep on doing what we doing outside school which we will do as we need to as she has to clib 3sublevels just to reach expected end of year 2 avarage. dont want her forvever playing catch up.

Now need to decide what to do with younger ?
home ed
same school
different school

Another thing bothered me is they let another family do it for last 3years and all she got sent home was extra re homework.

So for the greater good dd1 doing 5days a week.

feeling bit deflated , had so many plans.

Hope everyones having better day

Really sorry to hear that Mam, I know you put a lot of effort into making this happen.

Is it worth sounding out the other school with regard to flexi before making any decision? What does your dd1 think about attending 5 days a week?

The LEA where I am don't even consider flexi, it's an outright no. I wonder why people can't opt to take their children out in the afternoons as all the numeracy and literacy gets done in the mornings here, it's all sport, art and RE in the afternoons - presumably that's not the case in the UK.

I could contact other school but that would mean moving her now which worried do more harm then good she doesnt want to move but would have been happy to be at home.

If results as dire as last year will move her.
will keep trying to do extra holidays/weekends
evenings shes too tired as we have set homework from the school too.

On the day i wanted they do literacy/numercay in morning
then have 2diuffrent teachers in afternoon for pe and music-thats new for this year starting this week.

its frustrating having legal right cant exercise but its called flexi schooling agreement and school not agreed.

dds never know any diffrent although she did say this morning she was tit=red does she have to go to school.
quite nice weather. its going to be hard for me to fit in all trips wanted to take her on and give her same amount of one to one on weekends as family far away and hubby works.

Shes what you call institutionalised into school system so unsure she would want to home ed but now seriously pondering what I really want for my younger 2 they due to start 2014 and 2015.

he did say from lea point of veiw what i had done would be good enough to home educate.

He also said maybe see little baby at school 1day.

I guess it doesnt help last year my veiw of education and what I thourght I wanted has changed.

I agonised over applying for schools now wonder if picked wrong one.

I'm so sorry, mam. You worked so hard on that proposal. I don't think you could have done anymore than you have done and it is not your fault that the school decided they couldn't support flexi-schooling. Most schools just don't want to open what they see as the floodgates, I think.

You sound as if you want to home educate your DD so much and you are so full of ideas and enthusiasm that I do wonder if you should just go the whole way and deregister. However, I realise that it would be a daunting prospect to take your DD out of school when you also have two little ones at home.

I agree with you about the problems with uprooting your DD to a new school now, especially as your toddler goes to the preschool next door. I considered moving DS2 to another primary this term because we were faced with a teacher who had been simply awful for DS1. However, I chose not to because DS2 has friends and is settled at his school. As it turns out, he seems ok with the teacher so far.

I really think that even if the school is not as good as you wished it was, your DD will do well because she has you as a mother!

TBex - sorry you are feeling knackered, but glad you are still enjoying the home ed.

Another good day here. DS1 worked hard, although I did have to wrestle his i-pod off him a couple of times . He was meant to write a description of something in 'Shadow' yesterday and instead he wrote a list of facts. Today, I explained how to write descriptions, then left him to type something up. I was really impressed by the standard of writing that he produced and feel so chuffed to have such progress to show in the English file. That was down to one-to-one teaching plus letting him type instead of write.

He also worked on his handwriting, then struggled through a multiplication worksheet, followed by a reward of 'MangaHigh'. We started looking at the human body for biology and watched a video and explored some online diagrams of various systems in the body. Then DS filled in a questionnaire to cover what we'd just watched.

His chore today was helping me dry up (he had the choice - to wash or dry).

I wonder if maybe we should drop some of the daily Maths, English, Science stuff though. It isn't leaving us much time for anything else. DS is doing four sessions on each of these every week, but I wonder if he would make enough progress with just three a week.

mam29 wrote: he did say from lea point of veiw what i had done would be good enough to home educate.

His opinion of what you have done is irrelevant - the LA does not get to make a decision as to whether it is "good enough". If there is reason to think a child is not receiving an education, then they can intervene; otherwise, it is up to the parent, not the LA, what the education comprises.

Mam, I'm really sorry for you and know you worked tirelessly for this. Of course what you have done is good enough for H.ed, he had no right or need to comment on that really.
I think it would be hard with 2 little ones but I bet you could manage it, if anyone could you certainly could. FWIW my dd had attended school for 4 years before she left and emotionally she is fine. She was very happy at school and what you'd term institutionalised, but she is doing ok, not missing friends or the routine at all.