Support thread for new home educators

[ToffeeWhirl]

There seem to be a lot of us around at the moment, so I thought it might help us all to have a place where we can swap ideas, chivvy each other along on the bad days and cheer for each other on the good days.

I have two boys, the oldest is 12 and is just starting out in home education. My youngest is 6 and is still at school. Fortunately for me, he has just told me he's missing school and looking forward to going back .

We have had a good summer, with lots of dog walking, excursions, get-togethers with friends and family and minimal rules on television watching and computers. I have had a lovely time ordering books for our home ed library (failed to reign myself in on this ) and planning what we are going to study .

The plan at the moment is for DS1 to do a bit of Science, Maths and English every morning. He has a tutor for English once a week and we are going to get him a Maths tutor too. We will spend the rest of the time doing projects, reading together, practising handwriting, art, etc etc. Fridays are going to be 'free' days for informal learning, such as excursions.

I have been in touch with the local HE groups and we are planning to meet up with other HE families.

I'm spending some time today organising everything - plans, timetables, files, folders, lapbooks, etc. We have a visit from the LEA next Thursday, which gives me a good deadline to work towards.

I would love to hear how the rest of you newbies are getting on. And words of wisdom from the more experienced home educators are very welcome too!

We are doing virtually no work. Still haven't started on the Physics box yet and wish I'd never bought it really. DS's supposed to have a Harrow pre-test on Tuesday but I think sending him would be confusing and I think we'll just leave it. We may regret it but at the moment I'm very, very happy having him at home. Anytime there is an issue it tends to be an issue that was there when he went to school anyway. He has reacted to conflict by saying, "send me back to school then" but I think he's just trying to push my buttons.

He continues with Latin but the homework is minimal and he seems to soak it up like a sponge. It's frustrating that he doesn't want to do a small amount of maths because I know I could accelerate him in this with very little effort.

Oh well, baby steps...

Hi Colleger.

We too are doing very little work and sometimes this worries me, other times not so much. Pardon my ignorance but do you have to be exceptionally bright to pass a Harrow test ? Obviously something I never looked at, although how funny is this? One of my initial H.ed thoughts/plans was that dd would become so clever being at home that I could educate her to selective Grammar school level. Not to attend just to pass the tests. Well we live and learn don't we? Poor love will never be the brightest button, but I am hoping she will be academically average with other talents.
I do have one aim and that is to stop the thick sounding (I don't mean stupid, thick) accent she has developed, neither dss's nor dh or I have ever had a strong accent and hers is terrible. Anybody any suggestions please.
I don't mean that BBC prounounciation voice, but something that won't necessarily hold her back, as I don't mean to be mean to her, this one will! Please don't anyone think I constantly put her down, she sings like an angel and is clearly a talented musician.

Toffee.

Just read about your ds's birthday. Ha Ha, my eldest has just turned 21 and I feel ancient, as I wasn't a young mother with him. Can you believe that when dd started reception, one of the teachers said ah, how nice Grandma has brought you.
I practically ran home an ordered a copy of "How to look 10 years younger". Then I realised I wasn't so old, the other parents were aged between 17 and 25, honestly.

You type like a youngster Morethanpotatoprints!

I'm assuming the accent will soften if she's not at school but i am Scottish and have managed to poshen up when the need arises. My so has had two offers from highly selective schools but it's a conditional offer. Harrow is less academic so there would have been no issues going from home ed to Harrow but other schools may be a little risky.

Colleger. You have made my day I was a world cup baby, so yes I guess that makes me old. The Beatles were no 1 and Frank Sinatra number 2 in the charts.

I was suggesting your dc must be clever to be able to do a test for Harrow, but wasn't sure if it was super selective or not.
There certainly seems alot of selective schools down south, thee knows.
There are a few Grammar schools up here, but no selective near us at all.
It may be due to the fact we keep pigeons and wear flat caps by gum.

I do worry about dd and her accent as it is so prominant and I think it may take a time to go.
She is driving me mad atm as she is so flippin clingy. She is fine when out and about and at her music and dance activities, when I am there. Its at home, she won't leave me for a minute. Not sure what thats all about I'm sure.

She's learning to live with a new mum and she doesn't want you going to the kitchen and returning the old mum!

Mine is more cuddly too.

morethan your accent comments made me laugh. Because we're moving to Sussex I've already read my children the riot act about the glottal stop and what I'm going to do to them if they start saying "wa-er".

At least a northern accent is friendly. I grew up near Birmingham. Try saying "I'm a nuclear physicist" in a brummie twang! It sounds ridiculous!

morethan - I hope that teacher was mortified when he/she realised that you were mum, not grandma!

My DS1 is more cuddly too, but it's usually a distraction technique when we are sitting down to start work .

I don't feel like we got much work done last week either. Appointments and illnesses kept intervening. But DH pointed out that DS1 is still learning more than he did at school, because he spent most of his time there sitting in an office feeling terrified and unable to join in the lessons.

The cuddles are also a distraction technique too!!! That and trying to make me laugh, which unfortunately works!

Hi all.

Yes I can understand the tactics, dd will try and make me laugh, or find another song to learn when its time for academic work.

The clingy stuff though slightly worries me as although she has always been very loving (for a girl) she seems upset and unconsolable if I want her to spend some time on her own.
She loves Mario Kart the first game she has ever played on and on my wii, as I didn't give in to peer pressure for ds and other consoles.
Not even the offer of an hour or even half will get her to leave my side. Its really puzzling me.
No, the teacher wasn't very mortified nor apologetic, but she was very sweet and we did have a good teacher/parent relationship.

Helen, at the risk of sounding like a pushy mum I have been looking into LAMDA voice tuition, but not decided which one yet. Dh will no doubt think I'm being snobby, but it really is bad. "Lovely child till she opens her mouth". Only joking, but she did have alot of problems with speech and I still don't think its quite right. I think she is dyslexic on the auditory side as she doesn't seem to hear or register some consonants and vowels. So thought the voice tuition might help. What does anyone else think?

She's just frightened by the concept of home ed and she needs your reassurance. Don't ask her to do things without you, just react positively to her clingyness and it will fade. It is tiring though!

I agree with colleger she probably just needs time with you.

DD did LAMDA public speaking at her prep school. It was good for confidence but not sure it would have moulded her accent at all. I don't know if that's the same as the voice tuition though.

morethan - yes, it does sound as if your DD needs reassurance after the big change of coming out of school. I'm sure it will get better in time. I agree that it is tiring though.

We set off for DS1's lesson this morning, then had to come home urgently as he said he felt ill. He was sick and has taken himself back to bed . I suspect that no work will get done again today. Of course he can't work if he's ill, but I do feel a bit panicky about it, especially after our unproductive time last week.

Hope your DS is feeling better toffee. Don't panic about him missing stuff - he's still learning!

We had a good day here. We did some great maths (fractions & decimals) and then DD managed (with a little bit if prompting) to pass an 11+ comprehension exercise. So pleased for her as English is her biggest struggle (dyslexia, dysgraphia and dyspraxia make it very hard for her).

We chilled and watched a programme about the blitz this afternoon.

The packing however is a different story!

That does sound like a good day, Helen. Thanks for reassuring me about DS1. I just feel as if we do so little each day and I worry that he is not making any progress. However, after his 'illness' (probably anxiety) this morning, he suddenly improved and wanted breakfast, so we then did some work. DS worked on a comic for his project on 'Shadow' (this covered IT, Art, Geography, and English Lang and Lit), then we looked at on making an Incredible Edible Cell cake. DS1 was very impressed that I agreed to let him eat the sweets afterwards .

Did some Maths and spelling and then we were finished.

It sounds to me like you do plenty, Toffee. I know I'm always banging on about this, but I really wish you could be a fly on the wall in the average school and see how little brain work the average child does in a day.

bex is right. I was shocked when I started helping in DS's school. I couldn't believe how much time is wasted.

Just wanted to say if anyone is teaching fractions and decimals I recommend the brain box fractions snap game. I got it for a couple if pounds from amazon and it's brilliant. DD has found it really helpful this morning.

Thanks for the encouragement, Bex and Helen. I had DS2 when DS1 was nearly six, which meant I couldn't help out at school and see what school life was like.

Thanks too for the tip on fractions, Helen. We will be revising fractions shortly, so I'll bear that game in mind.

This morning, DS1 and I packed up some of his and his brother's unwanted baby/toddler clothes and took them to the Post Office to send here. We looked first at images of the camps in Kabul and discussed why the people are there - all part of our study of Afghanistan, linked to 'Shadow'. I also want DS1 to understand how some children are not as fortunate as him.

On our way home, we called in at a sweet shop and bought sweets for our Incredible Edible Cell cake, aided by the owner, who found us sweets of the right shape for the various bits.

Home now. Am trying to get DS1 to get on with some division practice, but he is doing everything possible to get out of it. He is a master at time wasting - maybe he learnt that from his school days .

Toffee,

how is it going today? Did you manage the division and the edible cell cake.

I always feel panicky or bad if we don't do what I set out to do, which is silly really as any learning taking place is of benefit.

From your usual posts I always think you do alot of interesting things and I'm sure your dcs benefit hugely from your input.

morethan - thanks for your kind words. We are making the cell cake this morning - it was just preparation yesterday. I had to hide the sweets from DS1 otherwise he would have eaten them before we'd even started . We did do the division and then went on to look at estimating and DS1 managed it all fine even though he started by lamenting that he couldn't do any of it. He has no confidence in himself.

It's comforting to know I'm not the only one who feels panicky if I don't achieve my daily aims. I suppose it's just as well, otherwise I'd be more inclined to sit around drinking tea and browsing on MN all day .

Quite a productive day here. After a moody tantrummy start we managed some maths and three 11+ standard comprehensions - 1 pass, 1 fail by one mark and one fail by a couple of marks. Although we're not doing 11+ I feel that this is a good standard for us to aim for so I'm pleased.

So glad we're out if the local scramble for high school places. We have three schools in the town - one very well regarded and one awful and one in the middle which had been the sanctuary for many parents outside of the good school's catchment. Except that's just crashed, rather spectacularly, into special measures. Cue much stress and panic and even tears.

I'm just smiling smugly and saying very little.

Meant to add DD was looking back through the work in her files today and she said she was really pleased with the work she'd done . We've come a long way in a few weeks and I know that this time is a real investment in my daughter.

That sounds wonderful, Helen (well, aside from the moody start). Not only is your DD producing good work, but she is really pleased with the work she's doing and sounds proud of herself . And it sounds as if you are growing in confidence in your choice to home educate.

I still don't feel we are doing enough, but I think that's fuelled by my anxiety. Discussing learning with DS1's Maths teacher last week, she said it was always three steps forward and one back with teaching. I can see that that applies to DS and I need to be more patient with the progress he makes and be more sympathetic when he just isn't interested in something and loses concentration.

We are gradually working out a compromise between my determination that he will cover the basics (Maths, Science and English) and his determination to play on the computer all day long. So this morning I gave in to his pleading to allow him to do 'art' on the computer, on the condition that he design a cover for his project book (in addition to doing his own stuff). He went on to produce a really impressive front cover which meant he was happy and so was I.

Friday is our informal day and we are hoping to go on a trip somewhere.

morethan - we are still munching our way through our Incredible Edible Cell cake. It was great fun to make and decorate.

Mam - I hope you are feeling more at peace with your current situation.

How are the rest of you getting on with home ed?

Hello how is everyone doing?
Well another week gone and on reflection dd is a bit happier, but now we don't seem to be doing much.
Even the music practice dwindled a bit this week, but I'm not worrying anymore.
I am determined to next week have a happy dd and be spending time learning.
We both enjoyed time in the park doing living things for science. We also managed another italian and several maths and English sessions but thats about it really. Not very constructive for a week.

Helen I think your 11+ idea is good and one of the first assessment tools I thought of for dd in a few years. Its a much more thorough test and a better benchmark of ability than SATS imo, lol.

I want some incredible edible cell cake, please give me the recipe.