Why and how do you home educate?

[gabid]

I am quite frustrated with the early school starting age in the UK. When DS was 3 a primary school teacher friend of mine said she would love to home educate if she found a couple of parents who would join and do it together. At that point I had never thought about it and worried about social aspets and being academically behind in later years. In the meantime that friend has moved away.

We asked our local school whether DS could start Reception one year late and were were told yes, but he would then have to join Y1 - we didn't. DS is 6 now and in Y2, aged 4, he went from refusing to read and do maths with his teacher to being an average reluctant reader at age 6. I don't think the system has done him any favours. And I wish I would have been braver and kept him out during the infant years.

How did you get into home ed? How and how long do you do it for?

@ realhousewife: Oh, you're talking about child protection? I thought you were talking about education.

Child protection then: So we should have routine welfare checks on the entire home ed population even when there is no evidence that they are at greater risk than the general population? I guess you would also be in favour of routine welfare visits to all families with children who aren't yet of school age? That would require a huge amount of resources and would distract Social Services from their job of keeping an eye on the children they already have on their books, children who are known to be at risk.

Those home educated children who are being abused (statistically there must be a few, since so many kids are home educated), if the abuse is obvious, will have come to the attention of SS in other ways. Neighbours, friends, relatives, GPs, A&E staff will report concerns. Of course any such concerns should be investigated by Social Services. On the other hand, if the parents are cunning enough to hide abuse in such a way that even the above people don't notice it, what chance does a complete stranger have of discovering abuse in a brief visit once or twice a year?

I do think we should all be watching out to see whether any home educated children are abused, just as we should do with under-5s and with schoolchildren. Society has an obligation to look out for children. I just don't see any practical benefit to having Social Services routinely visiting all of them. That doesn't tend to uncover any previously undetected abuse and actually just makes it harder for SS to keep an eye on those who definitely need their help.

The "if you have nothing to hide, you should cooperate with inspections" argument always makes my blood run cold. I have nothing to hide when I do my grocery shopping, but I am not going to cooperate with supermarket security staff strip-searching me on a routine basis just to be sure I haven't shoplifted.

To go back to the 'why' question, and taking on the suggestions that school = all children well educated and cared for, my reasons for Home Ed are due to the lack of care for my disabled son. He has a Statement for 30 hours 1-1, he attends GOSH and St Thomas', the hospitals and staff all offered their services to speak to and guide the staff on their care of my son - his disability is such that with the correct care he would manage, and enjoy his time at school.

We have evendence from an OT who used to visit my son at school to help him with his writing. The school refused to pass the recommended program on to us, they also refused to buy the software that the SEN would have paid for. The OT whitnessed my son being bullied by the staff, and other children, she watched as he was excluded from class activity that he could have joined in with.
He had an inexperienced - just out of school 16 year old, with no training, as his INA. A lovely girl, but totally out of her depth when it came to education and care of a child with an SEN.
My son was made to show other children 'how not to do it', at PE, and was punished at sports day, as he hid and didn't want to take part. The races were balance/running races. When I asked how many they expected him to win, or come anywhere close in, I was told this wasn't the point. and everyone looses sometimes, and he should learn to be a 'good sport' - he was 6 with a physical disability which makes his joints dislocate.

He was left filthy after going to the loo, as no one was prepared to clean him up, despite this being part of his care plan. He has been dx'd with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder now, on top of all of his other problems, due to the way he was treated at school. He suffered anxiety attacks, and his self belief and image was at rock bottom. He had no interest in education and would start to shake as soon as school or school work was mentioned. We had grounds for DDA, and Human Rights Act - access to Education, but we just wanted our son back, and to get him enjoying life, and to have an education.
He now reads, writes, uses the computer, is telling the time, and loves learning. Every day he asks to Home Ed.
I am sick of people taking the moral high ground and asking us to justify why we think Home Education is the way to educate our child. Take a look at the job the school made and tell me why not.
My son's files and books are seen every 6 months by the LEA, I don't have to do this, but I have nothing to hide, and in fact am only too pleased to highlight what can be done, if only someone really tries with a child. I'm not anti school - I have an older child who loves school, but Home Education is the best thing I can do for my son. Don't go thinking it's an easy option - it's not. No one funds you, there's no time off, and you make your own way - but I know my child better than any teacher. He rests when he needs, and can be finishing off a project at 8pm, if he needs distraction from pain.
If your child goes to school, fine - I don't quizz you and find any fault in that - do us all a favour and give us Home Educators the same respect for our choices.

Julie brought up the child protection issue, not me. Children at school are indirectly checked for CP issues. Home ed kids don't have that safety net. All school settings are ofstedded, even the most obscure ones.

I have nothing against home education. I see it makes absolute sense in some circumstances. It also saves the taxpayer money.

So it's all good - but it concerned me that Julie mentioned children that have not been outside her compound, and she brought up concerns about welfare because of this. You have rights as parents to home educate - I understand people being suspicious is annoying - but children have a right to be safe, and mainstream schools ensure this (nobody else). Home ed children don't go to school.

Mycars - are you obliged to produce information about your child because of his disability or is it voluntary?

CP is probably a different topic but since Julie brought it up... Please refrain from biting my head off!

It is totally voluntary to show his work - and not based on his disability at all. I am, as I said very happy to do this, as I am proud of the achievements he has made since leaving school. I didn't 'choose' to Home Ed - I gave school two years, and they failed my child in every way. I want him to be happy and educated, and as for saving the taxpayer money - I am a tax payer, as is my husband, and just a little help would go a long way. My son still has an SEN, and the school were still able to keep his funding for a year after he left, and spent it on what? He saw none of it.

"but children have a right to be safe, and mainstream schools ensure this (nobody else)."

This statement is so wrong. Mainstream schools ensure children's safety? Really? And only mainstream schools? Once again - really? Are you just trying to be provocative?

Mainstream school did not ensure my safety outside school (come to think of it, it didn't ensure my safety in school either!) It didn't ensure DS1's safety in school and as a teacher I am sure that there have been many children passing through the doors of my school who have suffered abuse/bullying that we don't know about.

As a teacher I would always pass on concerns about welfare and would intervene in bullying if I saw it/it was reported to me. But I am very aware that there are limits to what I can do.

@ realhousewife: So, are you in favour of routine welfare checks on babies and toddlers who don't attend an institutional setting? Can you say more about how you see this working on a practical level? I'm sorry that you feel I have bitten your head off. However, you haven't responded to my arguments that regular inspections of all HE children to identify welfare problems would not actually work.

Nor for that matter have you answered my previous argument about why an educational inspector will very often be unable to recognise a good education if it doesn't happen to match the way things are done at school.

If you prefer to stick to one subject at a time, that's fine. I am happy to contest either your belief that mandatory educational inspections of HE kids are useful, or your implication that some sort of inspection will be a useful way to prevent HE kids from getting abused.

Thanks for this well-conducted, balanced thread. My ds is but 9 months old yet the thought of sending him to formal education in just a few years time, reluctantly squashing him into a uniform shaped mould is giving me nightmares.

I have been looking into home education and will continue to search out resources so that i can do it with confidence.

Parents should not end up in the position where they are so cheesed off with their childs' school that they withdraw them through frustration.

Where parents choose to HE a child who is currently in school they ought, in my view, to be provided with support and resources, including the same amount of financial support that is spent on schooled children, to establish a home learning system that works for their child, and to have any training they may feel would be beneficial to them as parents.

Parents then might not feel so alienated or judge in their decision to HE and may even reach a place of being able to welcome visits as a source of encouragement and support.

For all genuine HE parents I really don't see what the problem would be with registering a child as HE, being funded for resources needed, and being supported by a visit from time to time - testing a child or even seeing their work wouldn't be necessary or compulsory (might even be something some HE would like) but would highlight homes where children are not being genuinely educated.

It is odd that in England you can have a baby, register the birth, have compulsory mid-wife visits for two weeks, contact from health visitors until school age and then........nothing.....not even a letter to let you know you need to put your childs name down for school......just nothing, no link bewteen the number of children born in a year and those attending school five years later, no link between the numbers claiming child benefit and the number of children at school, just no joining-up of the dots at all.

There are many LEAs in this country which downright refuse to obey the law and guidelines in respect of children and HE.
They alienate themselves by bullying parents and trampling all over the rights of parents to educate their children themselves regardless of the reason. They need to listen to parents/carers and not just make assumptions that if they are HE, then there is something untoward going on behind closed doors and then try to get motions through Parliament in order to make their bullying legal.
My 7 children all went to school. I spent a great deal of time dealing with bad teachers, heads who just wouldn't listen and parents who dragged their kids up to the point where life became impossible. At eight years old, one of my sons nearly got his throat cut in a classroom within feet of the class teacher.
My grandson has been HE since he was 6 - he is now 12 and as I have legal responsibility for him, I made the choice IN HIS BEST INTERESTS to HE him. It is now his choice as he is older to continue to be HE.
I also might add that as all my children were in the system, it did not protect them from abuse as I found out to my cost when my children were in their late teens.
All this bollocks about children being safe in school. I think not. I left school in 1963 age 15. I have successfully HE my grandson. I am monitored but it is my choice to do so. The reasons are personal and can't be discussed here on open forum. It is in the main to protect myself from idiot social workers who just can't see past the Kyra Ishaq case and presume that all children who are home educated are at risk.

Wether we like to think it or not HE and CP do overlap.

Many sub-treated children are recognised by schools, children that are not known to social services but who teachers know are not properly fed, clean,clothed appropriately, never have the reading records filled in, never have representatives at parents evening, etc.
In isoloation any one of these things means nothing, in combination warning signs can be flagged-up and teachers up and down the country routinely, quietly, keep an eye out for these children.
These are not children for whom referral to SS could be made, there are no actual grounds as such, just common sense, just a knowing that all is not right for the child.
Teachers know that only by keeping them in the system can any ray of hope be shone into their lives.
Some parents can and do hide behind the HE rules to remove these children from school and thus from any external review of their care.

And err, why do people who are NOT home educators feel it necessary to come onto a support thread for HErs and start enlarging on their half-baked views on HE?
Beats me!
Some people have too much time on their hands - maybe!!

"Some parents can and do hide behind the HE rules to remove these children from school and thus from any external review of their care."

Do you have personal knowledge of these parents and if so, did you report them?

juuule - sadly yes, in 11 years of teaching I have had 3 children (all young teens) plus 4 cross-curricular students highlighted by collegues in this situation.
In one particularly awful year students were actually provided with showers and a change of clothes on arrival each day as they were regularly in such a poor state, lunches and carry home food packs were also regularly provided plus whip-rounds amoung staff for bus fares and a bit of money in their pockets.
And of course where possible students were referred on, however I would say it was only ever as a last resort, it was known that one whiff of "teacher interference" by some of these parents would and did twice result in the child simply vanishing from the system.

"simply vanishing from the system."

Do you mean they moved out of the area?

Crikey no - I mean parents who when you phone to enquire why their child has got into school that morning holler that " its none of your fing business and they can bloddy well do as they please oh yeah and we'll drop the de-reg form in tommora ".

So, wouldn't you then pass your concerns on to child protection (not education) at the LA?

If the children were de-regged the school would also notify the education dept. and they would then probably make enquiries regarding the children's education.

Yes of course but then what ?

Once day-to-day contact is lost.

I've no idea Rosemary because I don't know how things go once social services consider a situation needs intervention. But if it did then I would hope they would do something about it and if it didn't then it wouldn't need something doing about it. Either way they wouldn't be lost to the system as the system would know about them. Just not the school system. And if the lea weren't convinced that an education was taking place then they have the powers to return a child to school so that would be covered too.

Agree Juuule that should be how it works but two things act against the welfare and education of these children, one is the timescale for intervention to take place, inital reporting and primary visit do tend to happen within a short time but anything more takes months, mainly because these cases are not cases of serious abuse or neglect, they are cases of children be ignored, left to fend for themselves, etc

The second is the lea - enforcement of return to school seems to be a mine-field, once a claim of HE has been made previous teachers have only their own gut instinct to go on as to wether they think the child really will be educated in any way at home, they have no proof and can only hope that the years they have spent with the child are either enough to carry that child through.

No-one is attacking HE or the parents that do HE, but nor should it be ignored that some parents are really blooming heart-breakingly awful and do use HE as an excuse to keep children away others.

One problem of having compulsory inspection etc. is that LAs are actively opposed to HE. Came across a document earlier in which my LA was congratulating itself on reducing the number of children being electively HE.
They inherently disapprove and will obviously look for any opportunity to force children back into school.

I did it for most of last year and if ds1 had problems again I would do it again!!!

Seriously, we loved it but live in a very small village in a rural area and ds1 missed the social aspect of school.

If you live in/near a big city there will be LOADS of HE stuff going on!

.....chap from the LA who came out to see us was lovely I have to say and really gave my confidence a boost when we got his very positive report back!

He spent the 1st 5 minutes of the visit apologising about the awful experience we had with ds1's old school actually!

But, Rosemary, I can't see how the things you have suggested in previous posts would make a difference to the children you are concerned about.

And as has already been said, it would be difficult for some teachers to recognise that an education is taking place as it wouldn't resemble anything that they are used to viewing as education.

"but children have a right to be safe, and mainstream schools ensure this (nobody else)."

My children are home educated because schools do NOT ensure the safety of their pupils. In my case it was a teacher supported by the head and the LA who was doing the bullying.

I am shocked though that there is no way of knowing if home educated children are at any risk from parents. I actually found it shocking that pre-school there were no checks.

But I understand why there is so much resistance to LA inspection/involvement. We did have a visit about 7 months after I de-registered my children. A very nice inspector who very openly told me he was biased towards education in schools. When LA's want to get serious about child safety they will put the right people in place to check on home educated children. At the moment most LA involvement isn't about child safety, or education. It's a bloody scandal that LA's can't sort this out.