The one concern I have is the social aspect, if they're not at school.

[organiccarrotcake]

Now then.

I don't home school (yet). But I've been doing a lot of research, and talking to a lot of people, both HE and not.

And already, just a couple of weeks in, I'm ABSOLUTELY SICK of people saying this to me. Obviously the non-HE-ers.

Top tips for responses, please? Preferably polite .

Sorry, so if he does come out of school again (we're seeing how junior school works out) then I may come out with that rant depending on how aggressive the person asking is... and they can, oddly, get quite aggressive! Otherwise I will tell them he socialises perfectly well thank you and school is not the only way to go about this.

Back when we first home educated my dad was very concerned about this issue, but the proof was in the pudding so to speak. Maybe if the person know your child you could go, "Do they seem not well socialised?!?"

Oh and before anyone pops on here asserting that being bullied is a good life lesson... no it's fucking not, it can damage you for life.

Actually listing stuff like that makes me wonder if we should give junior school "a go". He's been asking to be home ed-ed again for ages, why am I ignoring it?

Jees, continuum. :( :(

This is what terrifies me about school for my DS. His current primary is "ok" but we've had our share of problems, but none as bad as this.

"Bullying is a good life lesson" surely only is said by those who aren't bullied.

No one should EVER have to put up with being bullied, child or adult, so what's the life lesson to be learnt?

I wonder too after his previous experiences, especially if some of those dc who caused him so must distress are going to be there. Good luck with it, hope it is ok for him

I think sociability is something a HEr has to give serious thought to because it won't just happen automatically. So if you know that you are more of a recluse by nature yourself and not all that keen on having dc round in the afternoons on playdates, you'll have to google and investigate and see what there is where you live and give some thought to how much you are willing to do and pay.

There are two main types of extra-curricular activity as I see it - one is short-term meetings with other dc (HE camps etc, workshops, week long courses etc your dc meets new dc , gets on and then they never see each other again unless you put effort into it). The other is activities where your dc meets the same dc week in, week out, for a year or so, with this type of thing you can have a friendship build up over time but you might also need to be active about giving the dc a chance to meet outside of that activity so they can really build friendships. If it were me, I would strive for a mixture of the two types of activity - not all short-term, it is hard on a dc to always make contact, get friendly and then lose all contact to that new friend. However mixing with unknown groups, sussing out who you could get on with and managing to do so in a short amount of time is also a very good social skill to develop.

Actually dh and I have discussed it and we're going to ask ds if he wants to try the new school in Sept. or return to home ed, I expect he'll pick the latter of course, but he may want to give it a go.

Not that we haven't discussed it before, but being removed from it and seeing ds slide back into normal has given time to reflect.

So now he'll be socialising with our lovely local home edders, small but friendly, street friends, martial arts friends and whatever other group things he decides to pick up.

It's kind of insulting when people ask as though home ed is something one undertakes lightly.

What kind of HE do you do, continuum?

I have to admit that the socialising part does concern me slightly for DD. I will have to work at it & ensure her needs are met. It definitely depends on where you live as to what groups etc are out there, but my way of thinking is if what we need isnt out there, we will start groups and meet-ups ourselves. Atm, school is not the right thing for DD for a variety of reasons, but if we stay where we're living and her social needs arent met, we may have to re-consider the school question. There are plenty of classes out there like dance etc but she doesnt want to go to them atm. She is wanting to be HE btw.
For DS, well the 'social' side of schooling is exactly what puts him off!! That intense way of being with your peers is actually extremely stressfull for some children! He was one of those kids who held onto the playschool doors screaming; who hid from me in the mornings when it was time to go; who changed character completely; who had nightmares. He is now his happy self again and I have no intension of putting him through that again unless he chooses to go later down the line.
So its a very individual thing I guess & something I take very seriously.