why home educate?

[seahorse4]

I have been home tutoring my son who is 15 since february. He is the 2nd child of 4, and has had many problems around school since yr 7. he was in a school provision for anxious and vunerable children, although this did not help, so i withdrew him altogether. my eldest went through school, with a few hiccups, but is now doing really well in college (19yrs). my third eldest is 13 and has been a school refusal for 2 yrs and is now at a provisional school, although is being intergrated back into ms school 2morrow . my youngest has been on a little roller coaster over the last year with all that has gone on with the others, thankfully, we have turned a corner and he is back enjoying school. as for the 15 yr old I am still battling at home teaching him what i can.
I would really like to know is why do parents withdraw their children from ms school in the uk to home schooling? (the reason for me asking this, is, I am currently studying education at university and as this is a subject close to myself, I have decided to make this my dissertation subject, so any help would be gratefully received!!)

SDeuchars - you said your DD is at uni. Did she take any formal exams previously to be able to enter?

NotAnotherBrick - sorry i must be looking at this from a slightly different angle, as i am the one that that decides what is going to be learnt, although i must admit over the last 6 mnths, i have been following curriculum guidelines, and have recently realised what my son requires is not learning how to write stories or read etc but social, communication and life skills. i guess its a bit different for me also, as my partner is new to the family therefore is not the boys father, and believes children should be in school, like he was, which means ds learning is my responsibility. i also asumed that learning took place during school hours to which the father might be at work. my eyes are once again been opened to that learning takes place at all times, and in different situations.

Hi Seahorse - I suggest trawling the home education blogs. People often chew over why they are doing it and share their rough days and their golden moments.

They sometimes change their approach over time as they and the children develop and their home situations alter.

I have been studying home education ever since I deregistered my son at age 10, 3 years ago. I removed him because of his ever worsening anxieties and violence due to undiagnosed special needs and authoritarian/distant parenting from me and the teachers at school. One incident tipped me over the edge.

like i said, many reasons to HE.

e.g. extension of attachment parenting - if my children want to be in an institutional setting, I'll support them in it, but I would no way force it. For some children, 4 is too young to be in such a child-heavy adult:child ratio for so many hours a day.

e.g. schools are full of a culture that is entirely school-specific and may well not be optimal for an individual child - pressure to read very early; adult-led educational agenda; odd rules and regulations; too little opportunity for being active etc etc

I'm the mum, but I am also the one who works out of the house. I would regard both me and my partner as equally responsible for the education.

Seahorse - yes, we have a totally autonomous approach and the education of the children is just part of the parenting of them, so that, just as I wouldn't say 'I'm the one doing the parenting', I wouldn't say 'I'm the one doing the educating'. Yes, I'm there for more of the time, but when DH is around, he's answering questions, playing games, reading stories etc. just like I am.

My DD's formal qualifications for entry were Open University courses to the value of 190 points. You can read about it at the wiki about exams for home educators in the UK.

Seahorse4: i am the one that that decides what is going to be learnt

Can I respectfully point out that you are not. You may be the one who decides what is going to be taught but only your son can decide what he is going to learn. The fact that you describe it as a battle would tend to suggest I am right.

i have been following curriculum guidelines, and have recently realised what my son requires is not learning how to write stories or read etc but social, communication and life skills.

Yes, that was my main aim for my DC - I wanted them to grow up to be confident adults able to care for others and themselves. Academic considerations were far less important. With my DD now out of the house, it seems to have worked.

i also asumed that learning took place during school hours to which the father might be at work.

Hollow laugh. I have always been the breadwinner and educator (and I have now been divorced from the DC's father for five years). If children do not learn not to be in charge of their own learning it will happen any time. We do not schedule "walking" or "talking" for babies. It is not necessary to schedule stuff for older children. Life is not divided into subjects. Many EHEers (in the UK, probably most EHEers, particularly those EHEing long-term and with under-12s) do not divide their life into "learning" and "other" or activities into school-type subjects. For example, baking a birthday cake covers maths, reading, science, design, etc.

Many EHEing parents have stories about being kept up after midnight trying to find the answer to a science question or working on algebra problems because that was when their DC were interested. We tend to strike while the iron is hot - and that is the only way to ensure learning.

milou2 - thanks, i will over time look at other blogs, my 3rd son also had 'behaviour' issues once he reached yr 3 and slowly got worse. it started at school and moved into the house. I was concerned with his reading, although the school said it was his behaviour that was stopping his education. i battled with the school as i believed it stemmed from his reading, in the end i kept on at the school to have him tested, it turned out he was severly dyslexic. can i ask do you have only the one child?

ommmward - have you looked at the forest school approach, i was very inspired when i watch a video regarding this subject.

NotAnotherBrick - thanks for enlightening me

SDeuchars - i found that i had to structure the learning as i have EWO's on my case wanting to know what,where, and when and to see any planning, not sure they would be satisfied with anything else. I understand what you are saying about the children being in control, although i think if i left things up to my son he would choose not to do anthing at all lol (he is a teenage boy after all)

Seahorse - then your EWOs are breaking the law.

Seahorse, we are what you might call semi-structured and what the EWO might even deem to be structured! I use a time table , 4 mornings a week devoted to English, maths and science. On the time table I leave blank spaces.

Ed Bod's informed that 20+ hrs of blanc spaces will be used for more science, art, pe, crafts, visits, library, baking etc. The children choose a project and we use this time to persue their interests. No two weeks are the same. One day a week is for maths classes and Home ed group activities.

It is possible to set targets and to have a time table whilst also allowing your children some autonomy and choice. Our Ed bod was in favour of more autonomy because a child is more likley to be motivated and become resposible for their own learning.

I haven't insisted that my son read to me since he left school. He now offers to read to his younger brother, something he does throughout the day and almost every eve. He reads every eve for about 1.5 hrs to himself. In school he resisted reading the set books and refused to comment on them. Now I can't shut him up, I get a running commentary.

I anticipate that the children will become more independant, make more choices and hopefully I won't have that struggle of wills.

I have 2 sons, both dx with HFA. The home ed one is now nearly 13 and the always, so far, attending school one is 15.

EWOs have no duty to monitor the quality of educational provision. Their only duty (Education Act s437) is to act if it appears to them that there is a failure to provide an education. The results of that education are NOT their problem.

Also, you have only been EHEing since Feb. How often have you seen or written to an EWO and when are they expecting you to do so again? As your DS will be 16 soon, and therefore out of compulsory school age, I wouldn't expect to be involved with them at all.

i think if i left things up to my son he would choose not to do anthing at all

Well, it's not possible for a human being not to do anything. He might not do anything that looks like school. Upthread you've said he needs to learn life skills, so would it be a problem if he only did that? If you stopped battling about reading and maths but insisted on what is important to you (that he cook a meal a week, take his turn to put on the washing-machine, or whatever), you might find that he will start to think about what he wants to do to support himself as an adult.

My DS is 16.6yo and he clicked into thinking about the future at 16. He still doesn't know what he wants to do in the long term but it bothers him and he is trying out ideas.

IMO, it is self-defeating to battle a 15yo (whether EHE or schooled) into academic things. My view with my DC about since DD turned 13 has been that I have qualifications, skills and a job and am able to live in the manner I want. If they choose not to get qualifications or skills, then they are welcome to see what it is like in an unskilled job. I'd expect them to change their minds within six months. If you continue to take responsibility for his learning, how can he own it?

i asked my son the other week what he would like to do during a english lesson, as he seemed to be resisting anything curriculum based. from that we have decided to get some tapes of stories around subject that he likes, magazines for his reading like cars and xbox, and trips to the threatre. he enjoys his maths and art, he has an art project on the go at the mo, i think i may get my partner more involved in that, perhaps to show him how to use tools etc.
i have a visit due from the ewo this week, so will see how it goes.

minimathsmouse and SDeuchars - thank you both very much, you have given me food for thought this evening!
Milou2 - thanks for your response much appreciated!

Seahorse, I hope the visit goes well for you.

I have found LA to be supportive and helpful so far. They visited once, I invited them to the house, my son sat in on the meeting as I felt it was essential to be honest. Failing state schools are not our problem, but the responsibility of the LA. When my very eloquent and outspoken son had his say on his school exp, I don't think a sane person could have doubted we had made the right choice.

thanks betelguese, how many parents do you have in your group?

Thank you Betelguese for the information, i just wished i had done this earlier.