My DD needs help to pass entrance exam

[MDUK]

Long post - sorry.

I need help knowing how to provide extra curricular teaching in preparation for a school entrance exam.

I have 2 children in private school, both went through state schooling until age 11 then had to take entrance exam.

DD3 is due to take hers in January and I don't think she has the ability to pass right now. Her siblings are brighter than her and she is very aware of this. She doesn't pick things up as quickly, she is probably termed average.

Her reading is below par, her spelling is very poor and her comprehension needs working on. She has an evening a week for extra tuition and has worked very hard, her maths and reading have both improved but she needs more help. Tutor has no more slots, exam is in January. I think she will be devastated if she fails and I think she is worrying about it already.

If she can just get in she will thrive in this environment - smaller classes, extra support and a comparable peer group. Her confidence will soar.

The only option I can see to address this is to try and teach her and support her myself (won't be easy, I am not the most patient person and I know nothing about teaching!) BUT I really want to help her so, will schedule short sessions each evening and maybe Saturday morning going through reading comprehension papers. I will listen to her read every day but that is all I can think of.

I need some help please, where can I find resources, tailor them for her and structure it to give her the best chance of success.

Any advice, guidance suggestions gratefully received.

Look at the Bond Assessment books. But then also look at yourself carefully. Do you really want to do all the work with her to get her to that standard. If it is so hard to get in is it really the best school for her?

@themildmanneredjanitor comparable peer group. Yes I think so, she will not be in top group and maybe not even middle group at new school but the children will be placed with others of similar learning ability which will help her confidence.

She is not thick but she takes a little longer to get there than some. Her siblings are very bright. She knows this, this impacts her confidence. I think with support she can do this. And having seen how it has helped my other children I think she will blossom.

@mummytime thanks, I have bought a couple of these and will try these with her. I don't think it is so hard to get in. it is a good school but certainly not exceptional. The entrants have to be of a certain standard, I simply don't' think she is quite there yet. I am more concerned that if she doesn't get in, the local comp is not a good school. She will not get support to blossom and the long term implications of that scare me.

I think placing a child in a situtaion where they have needed help to get there and may struggle to keep up is not a gift to them TBH.

I would never do coaching ortuition for my Dcs. They either get into the school because they will be challenged but not stressed by the work or they don't apply.
My DS1 is at a very academic school. The tales he has told me of the boys who have to flog themselves to keep up make me pretty sure I had the right attitude.
I would hate my son to live his school life as 'poor old xchild..mum, he was studying every night all last term, all through the holidays and still got the worst results at AS and now he is not sure they will let him do x Alevels...'

I'd be wary of tutoring/hot housing/ pushing a child to get them into a private school. she will be aware that she is struggling and will be constantly exhausted by the pushing and struggling. i doubt the minute she gets into the school IF she gets in, things will suddenly click and fall into place. they might do in the fullness of time, but might not, and she might really struggle and not achieve whilst being constantly aware she is not as bright as her siblings and class mates

if her reading and spelling are below par , is there an underlying reason?

even if by january she is ready and can pass, is she going ot hold her own or need constant tuition for the rest of her school days?

sounds like a better thing might be a state school without so m uch pressure on all of you

would you not consider it?

private school is not for every child

and , some private schools are not academic school.
If you really want her in the private system for your own reasons, then why not look at other schools where you may get small classes and extra ciriculem things that help her confidence but without her always feeling that she is only valued or not depending upon her academic performance.

Not all private schools are primarily academic - you should stop focussing on one thing as if it is the only thing

bloody hell
sorry about my typing this morning. I look like I never went to any type of school

Thanks, some great questions. First things first. The local state school - it really isn't very good. If she goes there she will not develop as she can. There are not a lot of alternatives locally, we would have to find one if she didn't get in. I have nothing against good state schools but whatever happens she will not be going to the local comp. On a personal level i think it will devastate her confidence if she can't get into the school her siblings go to.

I don't think she will be under stress to continually deliver top results, she will never be a straight A student - not everyone can be. But she will be pushed to achieve the best SHE is capable of, and that I is all I want for her.

@Lulumaam The question about underlying reasons is really pertinent. I have queried dyslexia but school said not. I would like to understand her learning style, I think she is probably a visual person. Again so I can help her look at things in a different way.

Can't you send her to a non-selective private secondary school? I can't see the point in sending a child to a school where they will need to do a huge amount of work to scrape a pass on the entrance exam.

mind mapping is really good to look into

ou say she'd be devastated to not get into the same school - what if she fails the exam? what if she gets in and struggles terribly ? all these things need addressing and strategies put in place.. can't pin everything on getting into one school when the odds are quite low in her favour

@pagwatch I take your point. i have been focussing on academic but i don't consider DD particularly academic. I simply want her to be in a good learning environment, not like the local state school.

One of the things I liked about the school when I first visited was how confident the girls were. I found this really impressive, DD2 is certainly benefiting from this. They also have a variety of extra curricular activities. DD is fairly sporty and I think she could enjoy this.

Surely it is better for her confidence for her to go somewhere she will thrive? I can't imagine anything worse than deliberately choosing a school where she will no doubt struggle and be forever near the bottom of the class. If her siblings are so bright she will be compared to them constantly and that won't be good if academically she isn't as good as them.

I chose to go to a different school to my very bright db as I didn't want to be compared to him. Fortunately I was also very bright so it wouldn't have mattered but I wanted to be an individual not x's little sister.

@MollieO i am simply not aware of alternatives in the area.
@Lulumaam thanks for the suggestion i will look into it

I would be very surprised if all the private schools in your area are very academic. Have you spoken to the school about their expectations? As you have dcs there already do you honestly think she could keep up with the work without additional tutoring (assuming she manages to pass the entrance exam)? If the answer is no then you will be affecting her whole way of life for the next several years.

There are not a lot of choices round here. Other schools are a significant distance away. So while I don't think it is perfect, I do think it is the best option for her.

I think she can keep up. She will probably be in a lower set where expectations will be more realistic - I just want her to get the support that means she gets the best results she is capable of which may simply be Bs and Cs

MDUK

of course you know your child best.

But do consider that the girls that you met are confident because they are enjoying suceeeding in a challenging enviroment.
DD too is very happy at her academic school ( so I am not preaching negatively at you).

But the two girls whose parents removed them at the end of last year because they had struggled ( even with help/supprt) for the whole year are probably not dealing with happy confident girls starting at their new schools next week.
The girls not coping don't remain there to be confident and charming at open day. they have to leave.

Seriously, don't put her through this. I speak both as a school teacher and a home educating parent. A child who needs this level of coaching to get into a school will most certainly not be happy at that school. You say she will be in lower sets, but I assume that even all those children will have passed this exam. So she could end up very bottom of the pile with all the self esteem problems that brings.

I do some teaching at a good private school near us which has an entrance exam like yours. It is a lovely school in so many ways, with every opportunity for the children. Looking around you would see wonderful, confident articulate children. You would be very much more impressed than at a state school.

BUT...the pressure on children to achieve is immense. You say hopefully she will get Bs and Cs. This is nowhere near good enough for a lot of selective schools and they will quite possibly let your child know and make her feel a failure. I know of a child at the school I am talking about who achieved a set of As and was told it was not good enough. They expected A*s. Another girl was self harming because she couldn't take the pressure. She has since moved to the local state school and I heard is thriving.

Most children at such a school won't hit such problems, but if you push this hard to struggle them through the entrance exam you are taking a big risk that your child will be one of the ones that does.

Are the local state schools really so bad? Have you really investigated them?

I'm sorry if this sounds really negative. I have taught in fantastic private schools and equally fantastic state schools. I have taught in state schools that didn't have the best academic reputation but did fantastically for the children in their care. It really is horses for courses and I would be looking at what you will do if she doesn't get in of her own volition, rather that all this tutoring (which will almost certainly become a permanent necessity if the tutoring gets her in).

Good luck with whatever you decide. If you want to go down the self teaching route, Galore Park books are very good and you might find the "So you want to learn English" series helpful. But I would be taking the pressure off.

my dd hated those Galore Park English books! Or the one we tried and gave up on. Galore Park does have the facility on their website for you to view an index and sample pages though so you can judge for yourself. They seem to work for musicposy but my dd was not impressed. The maths I like though.

I can't comment on your dd's ability and whether or not she would be happy at this school so I'll just go to your original question on how to tackle it: Speak to the tutor you have and ask for some advice on material to supplement the work he or she is doing. Perhaps the tutor can recommend someone else to do additional work with your dd if he/she has no more available slots. If you wouldn't becomfortable asking the tutor, you could advertise.

If you work with your dd at home , do it in small blocks.

Another thing, is it possible for you to take her out of school and work with her at home till January? I should think one-to-one would be much more effective than working with a tired child after school.

Good luck, hope the right solution for you and dd comes up

If she needs that much help it's probably not the right school for her.

I am not sure that you can say at the age of 10 what a dc is capable of academically. She may not have found her stride or perhaps her current school does not suit her learning style.

However, you may have to plan to have a regular tutor till she gets into the swing of things at this new school if it is much more demanding academically than what she is used to.

@pagwatch very good point, ty

@musicposy I appreciate your concern, truth is i don't know whether i am right or wrong. I am simply trying to give her the best chance of making this work. I know the local state school very well (i was a governor there) it really is not an option for her.

She also wants to go there, she has seen her brother and sister go and enjoy it, she knows children at the comp. I think she will find it hard, but I don't think finding something hard is a good enough reason to avoid it. i take your point about support and pressure but that is not what I envisage. She will have to work hard but I will balance this with making sure she doesn't feel pressured (not the same thing imho)I will look at Galore, thank you. Could you clarify, is "so you want to learn English" their series?

@ZZZenAgain The small chunks is a valid point and the way I had imagined it, I am looking for some educational games rather than 'work' things that deal with spelling, times tables etc (Nessy, various forms of snap etc.)suggestions welcome for this.

Practice the papers and have fun. It doesn't have to matter a lot.

Secondly we have had 5 children trying various private school exams. I have never ever just put them in for one. Apply for several in case they don't get in to the first choice. It's much safer. Find the less academic local private schools and put her in for two of those too. It seems terriblyi risk just to try for one school.

thanks, i have a bit of time to do some more investigation.

link

It is very good for entrance exams but quite stretching - this is the Year 6 book but they do one for year 7 and 8.

My DD has found it OK. The comprehension questions she finds hard but she loves the reading lists and has discovered lots of new books, which can also give the child more to chat about at the interview. It probably isn't the most "fun" book she's ever studied because it's more like serious hard work - but as your aim is to get her up to a certain standard I think this might be your best bet for English.

I think if she wants a real boost and you are this short of time, ZZZenAgain's point about taking her out of school altogether this year is worth considering - although I appreciate you may not be in a position to facilitate this.