What holidays do university have?

[Blueandsunny]

DD1 is in a gap year and will be off to uni in September. Just planning ahead as I want to go away for Christmas or new year next year to scape the winter blues.

Do your kids travel much with you after they go to uni? Do they need to revise in the holidays?

Since DD turned 17 we have been leaving her at home more alone as she needed to revise, she is also quite a home buddy, very happy when she has the house to herself; while I got wanderlust and want to be out exploring different places. DD1 is happy with one max 2 holidays a year which is what she did with us this year, one to South America and one to Greece.

It's not just the uni, don't rely on the uni page. It's the course and even individual modules. I run 3 modules and they all vary. One has exam, one coursework. One ends a week earlier than the others. So she will need to wait until she has the details about the specific modules on the course.

Our attendance policy is getting an overhaul this year as the tech becomes better to track people. Attendance at all lectures and seminars is now compulsory and during the lectures it is taken multiple times so they can't just log in and walk off.

Thanks. Seem like we may have to wait, play it by ear; as she may be busy with studies, work, friends once she starts uni.

Be aware, OP, that as an adult she may prefer to travel either solo, or with friends, or with a partner.
I think you work on the basis that holidays with The Olds will be far less likely/common - which is how it should be, tbh.

True. I think that may be the case and that is what it should be, they grow up and spread their wings. As long as they are happy and safe I don’t mind. We have done lots with them but I wont be hanging out at home either.

We certainly noticed a difference this year, DD1 has been busy studying for a maths test in Jan or doing her own thing, DD2 has been going out more too so it is mainly me and DH. We had a lovely Christmas day and going out tonight to spend new year with friends and the kids; but I may as well go to my home country with whoever wants to join or somewhere else sunnier to scape the winter blues for awhile.

Varies depending on university, some continue until close to Christmas, others stop in early dec, some straight back in January, others nearer feb. Be aware there’s often exams in January. My dc didn’t come on holiday by university apart from occasional short trips (Covid happened then so nobody went anywhere!)

Thank you all. Shall I plan in the assumption she won’t come with us? I think I would like to go away to my home country to spend Christmas with my mum this year, DH and DD2 will probably come too. I guess I would be unfair to leave DD1 home alone for Christmas? We don’t have family in the UK; but she may have her own plans.

It is always the 4 of us; this year is the first year we haven’t done as much with the kids, they are growing up and doing their own thing. We had a nice Christmas and new years eve together; but the rest of the holidays it is mainly DH and I and I wonder if it is worth it staying in the UK. The other option is just going away for a week somewhere warm and sunny after Christmas.

Need to decide in the next few months as tickets at Christmas are expensive.

Having been a personal tutor for many years at a university I would be very cautious about leaving a student behind at Christmas. I’ve had many tearful meetings with students who feel their parents have abandoned them once they go to university. Taking away their bedroom is usually the cause but leaving them behind for their first Christmas would be right up there. Most students take at least most of the first term to find their feet, they look forward to home comforts at the end of it. I also really hated parents that started divorce proceedings as soon as they dropped their child off in halls as well, just leave me to pick up the pieces of your distraught child then.

Thank you. You are right, we went to see some friends yesterday whose son is a uni and he has been off and on sick pretty much since September, I think quite happy to be back home for some home made meals, rest and family time.

I think I will give up on that idea and find something else that helps me cope with SAD; maybe going away in Jan but DD2 will be back at school. It is tricky to find something that works for everyone.

My DD has four weeks at Christmas and closer to five at Easter. Term starts second week in October and runs til end of June, but if no exams or outside commitments (like sport or societies) then many leave earlier. No reading weeks. Some unis have exams after the long holidays so keep that in mind.
Every uni is different though but the term dates should be on their website.

DD would likely go to Bristol or Loughborough.

My experience also.

The latter can be particularly devastating but is all too common. Sadly.

Holidays will be on the uni website BUT from personal experience (recent MA and DD at Uni this year) they usually have all their assignments to do over the Xmas/NY break. My DD has 3 due between 7-19th Jan. In my MA a couple of years ago I had 4 assignments (assessed pieces that contributed towards my actual degree grade, so very important), so there is no way I would have gone away at that point.

So, unless you are going somewhere where there will be good internet and plenty of downtime where DD can sit and work on assignments or revise for exams, I’d probably not book anything in the expectation that they would be happy to join you. DD will not know whether she has exams/assignments until she has selected her modules (in Aug/September this year).

Holidays will be on the uni website BUT from personal experience (recent MA and DD at Uni this year) they usually have all their assignments to do over the Xmas/NY break

That why we call them vacations, not holidays. Undergrads vacate the university campus but the work carries on regardless.

Hmm.Sounds like she may be really busy. I am here dreaming with a trip to the Caribbean after Christmas or the Canary Islands end of this year. SAD has hit me hard this year.

If she is going to be busy not sure I want to stay at home the whole two weeks sacrificing everyone holidays. I hope she can at least take one week off in case she want to
join us and we would accommodate whatever week suit her best; but she may be happy having the house to herself and may not want to travel with us either. We went away a few times while she was in year 13 and she really enjoyed the peace and quiet, having the house to herself.

Yes, as @Elbowpatch states they aren’t really holidays. They are periods of revision and independent study, so she will likely be busy aside from (realistically) taking a week off between Christmas Eve and New Year.

I appreciate you are a bit low post Christmas, but do you really want to risk alienating your child by excluding her from a family holiday or encouraging her to risk grades by joining you at a time when, being her first year as a student and first trip home since leaving for university, she would benefit from the stability of home and being around family?

If you have diagnosed SAD, rather than just feeling flat after Christmas, there are treatments available that you could put in place now - buy/rent a light therapy box, make sure your iron/vit D levels are healthy (have an infusion or vitamin shot at a local chemist that offers them), speak to your GP about anti depressant routes, etc.

You may also want to restructure Christmas so its not all focused around those 2-3 days leaving you flat and tired afterwards (eg, you could book a weekend in London or take a day trip so that you could go ice-skating at Somerset House, see a show) ie. Lower the intensity of Christmas and spread the festivities over a longer period so you have things to look forward to and feel less flat when NY arrives? With the latter plan DD could also take time out from study and join in?

The job market is incredibly competitive now and the days of long holidays travelling or even working in bars etc are over if you want to maximise your chances of a graduate job after university.

Most in the know students are investigating and looking for preferably paid industry summer placements / internships from day 1 including first year easter and summer holidays.

Im sorry for them. Much harder life now.

Thank you. I do treat my SAD with Vitamin D, sad lamp, etc. I think she really enjoys time for herself. This holiday she has spent most of the time in her room. She did came out of her room for Christmas and new year eve and we had a lovely time as a family. She joins us for dinner too and help a bit with cooking when asked.

We are going away in Jan for a few days and she cant wait to have the house to herself. She is invited to all the holidays and we enjoy having her, but she is becoming an adult and prefer her own space, or travel with a friend. She is getting tired of travelling with us and sharing a room with DD2 on the holidays.

We live in London and DH and I have mainly been doing things on our own as kids don’t want to come with us anymore

We have done lots of things together and holidays as a family in the past. Up to Christmas 2024 we still did lots of things with them; but this year we noticed a difference, they mainly want to do things with friends or alone, which is a normal part of growing. DD2 does come out of her room; but DD1 likes her own space and can’t wait to live alone. It may change after she goes to uni. We will wait and see after she starts university.

Mine are 17 and 20 and noticed they’d really rather hang out alone too [well, on line/discord/gaming with their friends] - I think in your shoes I would actually just ask DD1 and younger DCs if they would mind if you and DH had a little break away over/after Christmas? Rather than making it a ‘family holiday’, could you just have a week away as a couple? Not sure how old your younger DC are/is, but if DD1 is home and around 20yo next year, then it would be feasible to leave both for a little while, have the break you need, and make it about you/dh. Then save the family holiday for the summer?

Have to say, with our youngest going to uni next year we have been having these discussion this year too. My DH’s family always come to us (we live outside/close to London, but have just bought a flat there for my DH’s new job and for one or both of DC to use while at uni). PiLs are 85 now and one has Parkinson's, so travelling to us really isn’t feasible and - like yours - my DCs were very happy to dip in and out of family for meals, gifts and a couple of films, I don’t see it being a really blast for them. I am half anticipating that we will visit the PiLs before Xmas this year (god it’s 2026) and DH and I will use the flat for NYE at least, so that we can all go out and do stuff… but I also suspect that DCs may want to do things like ski trips with uni mates, stay with GF, or just study/revise… ie I’m trying not to get my hopes up that they really want to spend any time with us and don’t want to pressure [emotionally blackmail] them into being with us if they have better offers!

Secretly I fancy a trip to somewhere hot after ticking off the visit to the ILs, but there are so many unknowns with the DCs and course requirements we’re in limbo a bit. I am not even sure whether I can book a summer holiday as, just as other PPs say, they may have to get internships/summer jobs to fill their CVs up and a holiday with mum n dad may be the last thing they have time for in the middle of July.

Dc has studied almost every day since they broke up mid December. Usually has exams first week in January.

Which in my view….they should be doing anyways. Finishing in May and not being back till September is a looong time! They have no lectures at Christmas, none at Easter either!

My husband used to work full time++ in the holidays to maximise his funds/savings etc and used to do a 2 week summer holiday.
Me on the other hand done nursing where we had 8 weeks holiday a year, 2 in December, 2 at Easter and 4 in the summer. Had 8 week placement followed by 6 weeks at uni expected to work 35 hours per week (for a very small bursary) and still worked on the bank as a HCA to save to buy a car, pay board and go on a holiday. Then had all my assignments and exams to do.

I have a cousin who completed a 4 year chemical engineering degree and only worked a couple of months in Clarks shoes………finished uni over a year ago and still doesn’t have a job….and talking about doing her masters.

My other cousins all worked from being 16 and throughout their degrees in areas such as carers, support workers, shop assistants, sports coaches, life guards etc.

Thanks. It is a possibility but DD1 prefer us to take DD2, 15 with us as she doesn’t want to be responsible for her, she is becoming more independent but still learning to cook.

They have no lectures at Christmas, none at Easter either!

Lectures only make up small part of most undergrad degree courses. In my experience, with the possible exception of their first year, students will be working their backsides off during the Christmas and Easter breaks.

In my personal experience and also being in charge of nursing students in my area.

Try doing that with 35 hours placement per week…….and 8 weeks of no lectures or placement per year.
And some part time work on top of that…….as this is the reality for nursing and midwifery students…