Thank you for all the comments - much appreciated.
She is both cranky and neurodiverse! She wouldn’t ask for help with accommodation or adapting to university study, both of which she found very tricky. We have been talking to her about how utterly acceptable it is to need some help, that the universities are full of people whose job it is to help. She flatly refuses to have any “SEN” label. I’m hoping with a fresh start she would be a bit more willing to avail herself of the help that is available.
The “false start” description really resonates. She is still only 18 and is quite young for her age. I’d almost want to treat this past year as a foundation year and let her start again in September. I think to head into year 2, with a tougher academic workload, in a new place, would overwhelm her.
I completely agree about the RG comments. She’s at a lower-tier RG university. She got the grades asked for - she worked very hard and achieved grades that were probably top of her capabilities. A lot of the other students seem to have got in via clearing and were higher flyers at sixth form. I think she’d be better somewhere with students who are on a more similar level academically to her. I’m not phrasing this very well and don’t mean any offence, either to my daughter, of whom I’m very proud, or to anyone else.
I think she’s ok with student finance in that she can get a student loan for a fresh start, but obviously she’ll have more debt.
She is in the US all summer, working at a summer camp.
I agree that there are an awful lot of big decisions to be made, which will be difficult whilst she is away. I think if she had a plan for taking a year out it would be ok. She likes to be busy and active, and likes her time to be quite structured. I suppose she could get a job locally and live at home, but I think she could see that as a sign of failure. I’m very hopeful that the summer will be a wonderful time for her, and help her get her confidence back and grow up a little bit. If she wants to travel she’ll have to get a job and earn the money to pay for it.
I’ve spoken to UCAS who were very helpful. She doesn’t need to formally quit her current university yet - not until she wants to enrol elsewhere.
I’m so grateful for all the input. I just want her to be safe and happy and feel ok about herself.