Drinking culture at uni

[seasidequayside]

I know this has been discussed before, but my impression from dd and others who have started at various universities this year & a few last year, is that they are all saying that drinking among students is off the scale. Apparently there are events for non-drinkers, so I'm not really asking about how quieter kids will fare at uni, more about the ones who do want to drink and party, but are under pressure to drink a lot more than is safe or than they might want to.

I'd heard of pre-drinks, but I'd imagined students sitting around chatting and maybe having 3 or 4 drinks before going out, to save money on expensive club drinks. What I'm hearing from dd and others is that students are drinking vodka shots before going out, sometimes 6-8 shots in a short space of time, and in some cases even double that, which already sounds like the kind of level of drinking that could actually be lethal, but then they might be drinking more at a bar or club later on.

Of the students and their parents I know, these are all dcs who have been drinking and partying and learning from experience for the last couple of years and have also had safety & health conversations with parents - so they are not innocent kids going wild for the first time in their lives and not aware of the effects of alcohol.

I'm worried that there is a lot of pressure to drink to unsafe levels and no 'normal' levels of drinking. I think it would be incredibly hard to be an 18 year old living away from home for the first time sitting in a flat kitchen with a bunch of people you are desperately trying to be friends with, and not to just say 'yes' when you know you're beyond your limit. It seems to be the norm to have 10+ drinks per night out, which is dangerous, isn't it - for mental and physical health, safety, bank balance? Or am I just being naive and unrealistic?

[GnomeDePlume]

I think a lot calm down once the novelty wears off.

Unfortunately for DD her first year flat didn't calm down. She spent her first night in A&E with a flatmate who had cut his head open while falling over drunk. Things didn't improve. Her flat became the MDMA flat. Upstairs was the coke flat.

DD spent most of the year living with her boyfriend just using the flat as storage.

[Ginfordinner]

The vast, vast majority of young people either never get truly hammered; do it once or a few times, then don't, again; or do it to a lesser extent for the rest of their lives.

That isn't my experience of the students I know. I'm sure that a lot of the stories are exaggerated, but drinking too much is seen very much as a badge of honour these days.

[summerflower2]

//The vast, vast majority of young people either never get truly hammered; do it once or a few times, then don't, again; or do it to a lesser extent for the rest of their lives.//

I agree with this. DS's college group chat has arranged a night out for club calling, however, over half of the people don't drink at all. They still plan to go ahead, but the people don't drink will just have soft drinks instead.

[WatchingTheMoon]

I'm going to be honest here. I think a lot of you are quite naive about what your kids are up to. They might tell you they're not getting hammered but that doesn't mean it's true.

[Xenia]

I graduated a teetotal vrigin with law prizes and it all worked well for me and I also enjoyed myself, which not everyone wil believe but I did.

My sons who are currently at university (both at Bristol) say some people do drink a lot more than others. They say it can be more in year 1 than later years - they just went into year 3 and that it depends on the person.

I am sure there will be some people who freel pressured into drinking and I think that's a shame. I don't even like the taste of alcohol. And yes I did drink a bit after university but not much and don't now. It was never really my thing.

Some of them do drink too much and should drink less but it's quite hard to control I expect for anyone - their friends to stop them, the university as it will be off campus and out of student teaching hours and a lot of who drink too much generally at that age are not even at university too.

If parents can somehow make their teenagers feel so secure they know their own ways are right so they have that kind of strength to be themselves that helps.

[BubblesBuddy]

WatchingtheMoon: I meant DC who don’t drink and smoke etc spice up the stories of others who do to parents. Not that they lie about their own habits. Kits would do that too though!

I think if DC want halls near pubs and clubs you know what they will be doing.

[Trewser]

I graduated a teetotal vrigin with law prizes

I was quite hoping this would be dd

[seasidequayside]

seaside I was also going to ask if you'd been to uni, too. Apparently, you have.... Yes, I have - you sound like you don't believe me Miljah?

It's hoping, aspiring, dreaming bigger than anyone ever suggested you could...

I come from a fairly ordinary background and have always encouraged my children to see education as a huge opportunity for exploring who you are, what you can be, finding out about the world. For me that is exactly what university was like, it was a huge life changing experience, and the social side of it was just as important as the educational side. But I think it's a bit odd to link this to binge drinking or suggest that somehow I am trying to limit young people's opportunities by criticising their levels of alcohol consumption. I'm sure people like Xenia and others, who didn't drink a lot at uni, didn't find it limited their aspirations.

I don't find it shocking that students get very drunk. I just think there's a big difference between getting drunk and drinking to the point that you risk unconsciousness, heart failure, choking on your own vomit, hypothermia - those are all possible consequences of consuming a large quantity of spirits in a short time. It's specifically the normalising of that higher level of risk that bothers me, not excessive drinking per se.

[hairyturkey]

I drank so much at uni that I don't drink at all now- I see that as a positive outcome

I would be worried about my children going out and drinking at uni, but really it's just what happens, they'll get bored after a while!

[GnomeDePlume]

Something that has changed is strictly applied IDing. This means that many students don't have a lot of experience of going out before they get to uni.

One of the problems with Freshers drinking is that students haven't built a friendship group which looks out for each other. They are all still finding their feet and don't feel the same loyalty and there will be a lot of showing off.

DD said that in her flat the drug taking became a thing in itself not a means to have more fun. Staying in to take MDMA.

[Ginfordinner]

This means that many students don't have a lot of experience of going out before they get to uni.

I wonder if this is what sparked off the pre-drinks habit?

[BubblesBuddy]

But we do have a drink culture. It’s a constant source of boasting among some of our very grown up friends. How many bottles of wine they drink at dinner. How much they consume each night. Still trying to throw alcohol down my throat despite 45 years of me saying “no thanks”. Is it any wonder young people drink when they are brought up to think it’s normal and parents drink a lot? We still have cheap alcohol and people take advantage of it.

I still think drinking to excess isn’t what everyone does at university. Certainly I’ve seen people absolutely hammered at parties when I was young and they are still alive now. Rugby players were the worst. Both DDs have school friends that did the same.

The question still remains: what can anyone do about it? Should parents be contacted? The university medical or pastoral staff? Should they be removed and taken home? What can be done?

[WispyTurnip]

It’s a constant source of boasting among some of our very grown up friends. How many bottles of wine they drink at dinner. How much they consume each night. Still trying to throw alcohol down my throat despite 45 years of me saying “no thanks”.

Honestly, I don't recognise that at all. I mean, obviously, it happens, but I'm 47, and among my friends (a fairly international bunch), no one boasts about how much they drink or tries to force anyone teetotal to join them -- I would say that the norm is more a glass of wine as you're making dinner.

[Newmumma83]

I drank a lot at uni but I could handle it, I mean ridiculous amounts ... but I never went past a point ... and my friends never questioned me on it either.

Now half a bottle of wine is a rare binge!! You have to trust your child to drink / follow the path right for them.
My last big night out at my friends hen do

1. Years ago I must admit I my 35 year old
   

Body pulled out the 18 year old stamina but also the tricks I switched to
Water and soft drinks when I had enough she could always do the old lime and soda vs vodka lime and soda trick

[VanCleefArpels]

seaside I think that you are being a bit naive

Pre’s are the norm for financial reasons. They don’t buy drinks while out as they are too expensive. It’s quite common for some to get so drunk they don’t even make it out of the door to the club. They become expert in cleaning up vomit.

I find it depressing and can’t quite understand the appeal but it’s the reality. They do calm down as study requirements increase and I find they don’t tend to drink in between the nights out - unlike us who probably drink every day!

[NerrSnerr]

I went to university in 2000 and alcohol was much cheaper. Triple vodka red bull for £1 at Vodbull etc. There were so many offers. I was a drinker and we would do 'pre drinks' (drink a bottle of wine very quick usually). If we were in a hurry to go out we'd play the Roxanne drinking game (take a shot every time he sings Roxanne).

The drinking culture was strong when I was a student, drugs too. I tried most drugs at university and no one batted an eyelid. I lived with a medical student who dealt.

We all came out unscathed and have professional jobs leading normal lives. It was dangerous but at 18 you think you know it all (and my parents were really strict so I really pushed the other way)

[ZandathePanda]

Pre- drinks are definitely a thing here. From 15/16 Dd saw friends drink to the point they were getting off with people they wouldn’t have, being sick and not being able to walk. My main concern with them was spirits, gin seemed a favourite particularly, obviously because you can drink large quantities before it hits you.
I think the parents drank more though. Definitely wine/gin countryside round here.

[BubblesBuddy]

WispyTurnip: I think as your friends are international you are less likely to get the boasting about drinking. It seems to be a Brit thing. Many people drink the whole bottle after it’s been opened during cooking. That’s why there are health warnings about women drinking too much in middle age. It’s rarely people who are discerning about the quality of wine we find. It’s just drinking cheap plonk. A bit similar to university students. Never mind the quality: what is available for a cheap drink? If alcohol is sold cheap then it’s little wonder it’s consumed to excess.

That’s the other issue for young people Zanda: Making mistakes with whom they associate when drunk.

[MouthyHarpy]

I'm worried that there is a lot of pressure to drink to unsafe levels and no 'normal' levels of drinking

Well, for every parent who's worried about their DC being pressured to drink, there's a parent whose DC is doing the pressuring.

So it might be useful for parents to think about hw they talk to their DC about pressuring others ... ?

But you know, speaking as an academic, it mostly calms down, particularly as they run out of cash, and by the 2nd half of term, are in the midst of assessments.

Although every year we tend to have at least one undergrad who is adversely and permanently affected by inappropriate substance abuse of some kind. My university has an alcohol abuse peer mentoring group, facilitated by our university health service. Yet another thing the £9k pa pays for.

[BubblesBuddy]

I agree MouthyHarpybut when parents are urging friends to drink, topping up glasses all the time, opening bottle after bottle of wine, being proud of drinking a lot and generally not seeing pressurising people to drink as a bad thing, how will they teach their children not to pressurise others? It is their culture and even if it not, some DC certainly take getting let of the leash too far! As several of our friends' DC have. The quiet church going ones who you would never have thought would turn into drinkers!

[Needmoresleep]

Bubbles, not something I recognise either. Where on earth do you live? It all sounds very suburban golf club.

Which perhaps proves that either our children are having different experiences. Or that some DC are more shocked than others, as it is not something they have come across before.

[Trewser]

You have a weird experience of adult drinking culture bubbles

[ZandathePanda]

Bubbles never thought I would agree with you, but I agree with your last post! Lots of parents and grandparents drink a lot round here and I think there is a cultural pressure.
We have no greengrocers in the nearest small town but do have a wine bar!
I don’t live anywhere near London or the South.

[MrsGrammaticus]

I don't even want to think about drugs. I must lead quite a sheltered life that this is so shocking to me - though talking to parents of my dd's friends, they seem to think the same way
Walk around the back of any pub in virtually any town or village near you( the cigarette / vaping garden) towards 'last orders' time and drugs can normally be procured quickly and easily. Sorry but do wake up. Drugs and heavy drinking are not the preserve of university life!

[emilylouise55]

Prior to university I never drank (the sum total of my experience with alcohol was half - if that - of a vodka and orange juice on my 18th), but over the course of my uni experience I became a heavy drinker. HOWEVER, I was never pressured to drink and my tolerance increased gradually over four years. Pre-drinking is a thing, but I have never known anyone who would drink that amount of vodka shots prior to a night out, so I believe what you have heard is a little sensationalised. Yes - people do drink 10+ drinks on a night out and I appreciate it's not healthy, but generally people are otherwise sensible (ie surround themselves with trustworthy people and look out for each other). In my experience, you can drink as much or as little as you want and it is up to you to keep within safe margins.