Drinking culture at uni

[seasidequayside]

I know this has been discussed before, but my impression from dd and others who have started at various universities this year & a few last year, is that they are all saying that drinking among students is off the scale. Apparently there are events for non-drinkers, so I'm not really asking about how quieter kids will fare at uni, more about the ones who do want to drink and party, but are under pressure to drink a lot more than is safe or than they might want to.

I'd heard of pre-drinks, but I'd imagined students sitting around chatting and maybe having 3 or 4 drinks before going out, to save money on expensive club drinks. What I'm hearing from dd and others is that students are drinking vodka shots before going out, sometimes 6-8 shots in a short space of time, and in some cases even double that, which already sounds like the kind of level of drinking that could actually be lethal, but then they might be drinking more at a bar or club later on.

Of the students and their parents I know, these are all dcs who have been drinking and partying and learning from experience for the last couple of years and have also had safety & health conversations with parents - so they are not innocent kids going wild for the first time in their lives and not aware of the effects of alcohol.

I'm worried that there is a lot of pressure to drink to unsafe levels and no 'normal' levels of drinking. I think it would be incredibly hard to be an 18 year old living away from home for the first time sitting in a flat kitchen with a bunch of people you are desperately trying to be friends with, and not to just say 'yes' when you know you're beyond your limit. It seems to be the norm to have 10+ drinks per night out, which is dangerous, isn't it - for mental and physical health, safety, bank balance? Or am I just being naive and unrealistic?

[Trewser]

Dd says they all drink like fish but noone she has met seems to take drugs or smoke! So she's very happy!

[Trewser]

If it worries you, don't ask! It's best not to know!

[tommyshaircut]

What did you think was going to happen at uni ?

[seasidequayside]

Tommyshaircut I expected heavy drinking to mean maybe 8-10 drinks spread over an evening. I didn't expect that much gulped down in less than an hour. I expected students staggering around town centres throwing up, big hangovers, but not potentially killing themselves. I'm really suprised you are all so cool about it, and most of you seem to be suggesting it's normal but that it's other people's kids who are doing it? That sounds a bit naive to me. Maybe my dd is just being more honest with me than yours are?

[Trewser]

I think it calms down a lot.

[BubblesBuddy]

I do think if someone has really downed 14 shots then someone should have stayed. How did they keep count? This might be another embellishment like the size of the fish caught.

The problem is that how can you or anyone actually stop these DC? Ladettes were all about getting hammered 20 years ago. It’s not new. Pre loading is new and has taken off because it’s cheaper. Fewer drinks needed at the venue. One can assume people get drunk because they enjoy it although I think some people truly cannot stop. This was one DC. It wasn’t the whole block.

So is down to individual parents? Don’t forget that some parents drink like fish themselves and drinking culture is in the family. Some people always have got drunk! All the time. We all know society cannot cope with alcoholics and they are less likely to get a good job and more likely to be homeless. Some people do not seem to be able to stop falling into a chaotic lifestyle. But what can be done about it? Can parents actually prevent this? I have come across several lovely people with drug addicted DC. They didn’t supply them with money for drugs. DC stole money. Two DC died. One the DC of a police officer. Neither went to university. Both lived at home and the parents had provided a stable and loving family. So why were drugs such an allure? Hard to know. We do know rehabilitation centres are few and far between.

I don’t understand it either but I’ve always been a lightweight on the booze front and never done drugs. However we know, as a society, that we have cohorts that do drugs, drink, gamble and behave badly (and possibly all 4) and we, as a society, fail to offer help to the young. But what parents, other students and universities can do that will be effective is hard to fathom. Other than have rehab centres.

[seasidequayside]

Bubbles that's a very reasonable perspective, but also makes me feel really sad. It seems a huge waste of lives - not just for those poor dcs who died, but anyone whose lives are blighted by their own or other people's drinking and drug use. Probably I need to try and stop thinking that the excesses of university life will inevitably lead to that kind of life, but it's hard to get beyond the shocking level of risk I'm hearing about.

[museumum]

You’ll probably find that the pre-drinks is actually 99% of all the drinks. Most union bars are a nightmare to get a drink in. Freshers week partying could be “pre-drinks” then going dancing with no more drink consumed.

And given there are 9 units in a bottle of wine I wouldn’t find 10-12 units too worrying so long as it doesn’t last as a regular event beyond this first heady month.

[Trewser]

Who died?

[tommyshaircut]

There was a death at Newcastle a few years ago. I might be wrong but I'm sure it was some sort of society initiation thing.
Did you go to uni op ?

[juicyjuicymangoes]

I've just graduated and went to a big university in a v big city with a big drinking culture. Honestly it's normal. No one died, no one ended up in hospital and no one really drinks much now we've left uni and are working. It's just a phase in life where you've left home and can do what you want and you have a bit of fun for a few years. I never smoked, never did any drugs but I did throw up from alcohol a few times. A few nasty hangovers and many a long lecture the next day but I was always surrounded by friends, felt safe (especially in halls) and really enjoyed it.

Trust your kids to stay safe (spiking was rare but not unheard of), stick with friends and get a taxi rather than walk home alone and just enjoy yourselves.


Interestingly enough the ones that went really overboard were the ones with the parents who highly disapproved of it. Once they were out of sight of their parents some (most!) of them went mental !

[Ginfordinner]

Newcastle student death

DD is at Newcastle, and after we dropped her off we stayed in Northumberland as we have a house there. As it was freshers week the student's tragic death was very much in the local news. I think as a reminder not to overdo it.

[Notverygrownup]

Tragically someone dies every year during Freshers week - last year there was a lass who died down south somewhere - Brighton? Canterbury? - on her first evening at Uni.

I agree that all that you can do is inform them/warn them, trust them, and not pay extra to cover heavy drinking. DS says that predrinking is the norm at his uni, though they do spread it over a number of hours - you can predrink from 6 - 10.30 for example! And yes, he says 14 shorts or 2 bottles of wine each would not be unusual. Interestingly he says that many consider predrinking safer, as you are getting drunk in a controlled situation then not getting any drunker once you are out, so that you know how much you have had, and what you have had, and can stop when you know you are at your limit.

[seasidequayside]

Trewser I was referring to the young people Bubbles mentioned who died from drug use.

tommyshaircut yes, I went to uni and then worked at 2 different unis for 10 years after that, so I do have quite a bit of experience of student culture up to about 15 years ago. I remember a lot of drunkenness, but not any rapid drinking of spirits or pre-loading.

[titchy]

Pre-ing has been what sixth formers and students do for a good five years - I'm surprised you didn't come across it at sixth form tbh. It's mostly all the alcohol they have when they go out, just getting tap water at clubs. Which is way healthier if you think about it - you're sobering up a bit at the end of the night rather than paralytic (safer..), and less of a hangover.

[babyblackbird]

I've heard that this generation drink less than we did......... but living next door to a student house in Bristol I can dispute that. And as for it being restricted to one or 2 student nights a week ...... I wish. What has really surprised me this year is how many of them smoke cigarettes - I was really under the impression that that was massively on the decline in that generation but they are literally chain smoking ( which I can see as they can't smoke in the house which is rigged with detectors)

[BubblesBuddy]

To be fair, my DDs never lived with smokers. They really don’t like that habit. Smokers and drinkers find each other! You are unlucky living next to these students. I think one house of smokers isn’t typical. They are together because they boose and smoke! No one else wants them.

[Miljah]

serin "I actually think it's not as bad as when I went to uni (Liverpool) in the late 80s. God it was carnage!"

That mad me proper laugh, because, bejeezus, it often was, wasn't it?!

[Miljah]

seaside I was also going to ask if you'd been to uni, too.

Apparently, you have....

But I think you need to draw back and get some perspective on this:

"..... but also makes me feel really sad. It seems a huge waste of lives - not just for those poor dcs who died, but anyone whose lives are blighted by their own or other people's drinking and drug use. Probably I need to try and stop thinking that the excesses of university life will inevitably lead to that kind of life, but it's hard to get beyond the shocking level of risk I'm hearing about."

Well, you need to get beyond what you perceive to be 'the shocking level of risk'. As for 'Excesses'- among them is breaking out and meeting, socialising, dating people other than your ain folks. People your own folk would shun as being 'not like us'.

It's having thoughts that would make your grandad spin in his grave.

It's hoping, aspiring, dreaming bigger than anyone ever suggested you could.

How 'excessive' is that?

Because the 'level of risk' isn't 'shocking'. It's your perception of it.

The vast, vast majority of young people either never get truly hammered; do it once or a few times, then don't, again; or do it to a lesser extent for the rest of their lives.

No one who is going to get into intoxicants, ultimately, has that path forced on them at uni. They'd've got there, anyway, one way or another.

[katewhinesalot]

This is so not a new thing. My children and their friends are far more responsible than I was when I was at university.

Best time of my life

[katewhinesalot]

And we definitely had pre drinks.

[Bouledeneige]

Students drink a lot of alcohol shock horror.

Dont forget students do a lot of drugs too!

Plus ca change?

[WatchingTheMoon]

"Also don’t students like to shock parents with drunken tales, drugs and general debauchery!? Perhaps it’s all a bit mundane and they are spicing up the stories for an audience agog for horror!?"

I think it's rather the opposite, I lied so much to my parents about how much drinking/taking drugs went on. They probably think I had the odd night out on a Saturday when I didn't have exams, rather than the regular blackout sessions that actually went on.

[OneKeyAtATime]

I remember my fellow housemates snorting vodka . That was in the early 00s. I think eyeballing came a bit later after that? So yes, it's been bad for some time and I'm sure it started before my time. I remember some friends ending up in rather dodgy situations because of alcohol. That would be what would worry me but I am not sure if things are worse now than before.

[WatchingTheMoon]

"The vast, vast majority of young people either never get truly hammered; do it once or a few times, then don't, again; or do it to a lesser extent for the rest of their lives."

I think you know different young people to me. Mostly everyone I knew when I was young got wasted every weekend (or every weekday) and then chilled out once they were in their mid to late 20s. I got wasted constantly at university and don't touch a drop now, maybe the odd half pint when it's sunny.