Everywhere I turn at the moment, people are talking about adolescents and young people - their entitlement, their anxiety, their isolation, their depression. Running a therapy site that matches people with the therapists best suited to them, I'm always being asked how and where to get help for teenagers and young people by worried parents.
American psychologist Jean Tweng's book iGen claims that for those born after 1995 'the twin rise of the smartphone and social media has caused an earthquake' bringing anxiety, depression, loneliness and a constant fear of not being popular enough, or excluded.
Girlguiding UK's recent poll of more than 1,000 young people showed the biggest worry for 35% of girls aged 11-21 was comparing themselves and their lives with others. Last week the IPPR think tank reported that the number of students who disclosed a mental health problem in their first year rose fivefold to reach 15,395 in a decade.
But hang on now: how real is this epidemic of unhappiness? Could we be pathologising fairly normal adolescent feelings? The teen years are a time of great change. The bodies of girls and boys grow and develop dramatically from childhood into adulthood; we've only recently realised that brain development doesn't really finish until they're in their mid-20s.
Alan Percy, chair of Heads of University Counselling Services, sees a new bunch of 18-year olds every year. He confirms that young adults are reporting they are struggling with symptoms of depression and anxiety 'but the danger is to over medicalise the 'normal' struggles of young adult development.' He feels that rather than jump to treatment, many need to be encouraged to take ownership of their behaviour and feelings, instead of feeling powerless to cope.
One of the problems is unrealistic expectations. 'Young adults feel more overwhelmed by life, but it's important to recognise that for many this sense of anxiety and hopelessness comes from very black and white thinking.'
Cheshire therapist (and mother of teens) Penny Lawson admires how teens deal with the stresses of modern life, but identifies phones as a problem. 'Huge amounts of information coming in throughout the day and into night is having a big effect on this generation.'
She encourages teenage clients to see analyse phone and social media use. 'I ask them to list the good things they get out of it - and recognise the bad. Then they can weigh it up, as if on a set of scales.' Do they take any notice? Yes, she says, but 'I'm not their parent or teacher.'
The World Health Organisation states that across the world 10-20% of adolescents experience mental health disorders; of those affected in adulthood, half had started by age of 14, and three-quarters by mid-20s.
And there's the problem. If adolescence is when things can go wrong, in some cases eventually leading to long-term mental health problems, surely parents need to be serious and alert to problems, rather than simply see it as a common part of growing up?
But, says Percy, parents shouldn't just swoop in to make everything ok. 'As you get older, you have to learn to cope with life's uncertainties. If you fill life with rigid, perfectionist expectations, you’ll feel more anxious and disappointed.' The aim is to let young adults solve as many of their problems as possible. Young adults are grown up when they no longer think it's their parents' job to save them from every thing that might go wrong.
Penny Lawson says many parents struggle with controlling social media, and suffering with social comparisons. 'From the research I've seen, high social media use can be bad for self esteem. If parents don't have skills to navigate it themselves, they can't help their children.'
Where does that leave us? It's not the same world in which I grew up, where I moped in my bedroom but only until boredom got me out to meet a mate, or buy a magazine. But these days the world has permeated that formerly private space. It's brought with it raging FOMO and never-ending, minutely calibrated comparisons between your teen, his or her friends, and enemies. It's no surprise that he or she may be feeling down if they believe they don't measure up.
For some, depression or anxiety may take hold. They may be bullied, start to suffer from eating disorders, feel unable to mix with others, or experience obsessive-compulsive disorder or other phobias and psychological conditions. Therapists and counsellors can help, that's what they're trained to do. But they can also take a walk, go to sleep earlier, take a break from social media, see a good friend, play a team sport. Self-care can help, if they will let it.
As Penny Lawson says, 'These teens are living their lives in the public eye; they're going to behave differently than you or I did, but that doesn't mean they’re going to be a disaster.'
Louise Chunn is the founder of find a therapist platform welldoing.org and will be returning to her post to respond to comments.