Guest post: "As sex workers, our lives depend on decriminalisation"

[JosephineMumsnet]

I was 19 years old when I made the decision to sell sex. An unorthodox choice, certainly, but one which helped me get through university without crippling debt, and later, a choice which would allow me to return to university as a single parent and complete my second degree. Please don't fall into the trap of assuming that because I'm a white, middle-class, educated woman I can't possibly understand the abject misery that is sometimes seen in our industry. I stood on Burlington Road in Dublin in the dead of winter, often drunk or out of my head on cocaine, or both, selling sex at £30 a time. That's not privileged. Now, with over 20 years behind me, I can finally put that experience to use, and educate people about the realities of our industry, and what would make us safer.

As the debate around the sex industry gathers steam, there are two schools of thought. Punish the punters by making it illegal to purchase sex, or decriminalise the laws around sex work. Let's look at both.

The law that criminalises the punter was introduced in Sweden in 1999 and has been an abject failure. Its aim was to reduce prostitution by reducing 'demand', but the Swedish government admits there has been no change to the number of buyers, or sellers. So what has changed? Violence against sex workers has increased sharply, with police targeting their homes to arrest buyers, often resulting in their being made homeless. The most vulnerable sex workers on the streets cannot be reached by outreach services, to facilitate condom distribution or needle exchange, as they need to work away from police detection. Sex workers are refusing to report violence to police, as they know they place themselves at risk from the very people supposed to protect them. Stigma has increased, with sex workers in both Sweden and Norway reporting having their children removed, and deportation of migrant sex workers is rife.

One of the most infuriating strands to the current feminist discourse around sex work is the assertion that we are abused, or even raped, every time we sell sex. That statement is injurious and grossly insulting to those who have survived abuse and rape, and it also strips sex workers of our agency. As much as we campaign for the right to say 'yes', we absolutely reserve the right to say 'no'. I detest the use of the word 'empowerment' in any debate on sex work. My job is no more empowering than anyone else's; it allows me to support my family and pay my bills. But as a community, there is no doubt that we are more empowered to say 'no' when we are permitted to work together for safety.

Under current legislation, and even more so under the Swedish model, sex workers are not permitted to work more than one to a premises. If I ask a friend to share an apartment with me so I feel safer in accepting visiting clients, we can be arrested and charged with 'pimping' from each other. That practice is commonplace. As cash, mobile phones and laptops are often removed as 'evidence', the women concerned are left with nothing but a criminal record, simply for wishing to stay safe.

So what is decriminalisation? Not to be confused with legalisation, it refers to the removal of all criminal prohibitions and penalties on sex work. In doing so, it protects the human rights of sex workers, as acknowledged by WHO, UNAIDS, The Lancet and more recently, Amnesty International.

Decriminalisation allows us to work together for safety, which is crucial. Decriminalisation also makes it easier to access justice and support services, and facilitates a better response to true exploitation in the industry. When the police work with us, not against us, we are best placed to identify and report others in danger.

On June 1 2015, the Northern Irish Assembly made it illegal to purchase sex. I have launched a High Court challenge to that law and will take it to the European Court of Human Rights if necessary. You may not like or be comfortable with the exchange of sex for money and that's fine - that's not what this debate is about. It's about our right to safety in the workplace. 154 sex workers have been murdered since 1990. We ask for your support for decriminalisation. Our lives depend on it.

Read Kat Banyard's post here.

[GayeDalton]

TheRealPosieParker

!!!NEWSFLASH!!!
Different people can live in vastly different situations and have vastly different feelings and opinions about anything and everything. It has been suggested that sex workers might be people.

I couldn't care less what you think...unless you suddenly started supporting me, that would worry the daylights out of me...

...NOW...NO MORE DEFLECTING

How do you think a mum would survive with a three year benefit sanction?

[FloraFox]

GayeDalton a profitable life? Get real. It's the handmaidens of the pimp lobby who are exploiting real people.

[iminshock]

McDonald's are ALWAYS hiring.
Screwfix are currently hiring.
I've been dirt poor but renting my Fanjo to some dick was no more on my radar than selling a kidney.

[iminshock]

And yes I have worked in McDonalds ,because I had to feed and clothe my family.

[GayeDalton]

iminshock

"I've been dirt poor but renting my Fanjo to some dick was no more on my radar than selling a kidney."

...and you have the right to make that call...

Though another part of me does wonder how much your family had to do without because you did - and yes that DOES count, like it or not. I will always admire the love and courage of Mums who sold sex against every personal inclination just to give their kids the best possible lives in every way...because sex work does leave you a lot more time to spend with your kids too, so it isn't just about money.

You know for many, many years I was convinced that I was superior to every woman who every sold sex:
a) Because it really was life or death and suicide genuinely failed.
b) Because I hated it so much.

Then I realised I was being a pompous little prig who needed to grow up.

[PaulDacresMicroPenis]

Though another part of me does wonder how much your family had to do without because you did - and yes that DOES count, like it or not. I will always admire the love and courage of Mums who sold sex against every personal inclination just to give their kids the best possible lives in every way...because sex work does leave you a lot more time to spend with your kids too, so it isn't just about money.

^
That sounds like you're saying mothers who work NMW in McD etc are failing their children because they could be earning more as prostitutes. I don't agree with you.

[GayeDalton]

PaulDacresMicroPenis,
I take your point too, and to an extent it depends on the specific circumstances, for instance, if the only difference is that the kids may as well forget what designer trainer look like and introduce themselves to "making do" rock on...

But in a situation where the kids will lose the only home they have ever known, take the dog they love to the pound to be put down because you aren't allowed to keep him in social housing on a sink estate. Leave their school and all the friends they grew up with for ever...move to a dead end school where their accents and positive attitude to study marks them out for constant bullying...you have to stop and ask yourself what the best choice really is.

I don't relate to knee jerk, stigma, propaganda and superstition, I only relate to reality.

[DampSqid]

I can't imagine there is a child in the land who would want their mother to prostitute themselves so they would have more money or have more time with their mother.

[PaulDacresMicroPenis]

What about the giving up poor puppy, moving to a sink estate and a dead end school though DampSqid? Surely a good mother would become a prostitute to save her children from that

[HelenaDove]

I took sex chatline work back in 2001 after being on New Deal/workfare i had a choice I had already done workfare in a charity shop and for my local council for my JSA Then those bastards at Reed/Pelcombe wanted me to do 3 months in a soup factory for my JSA The only PAID job i was being offered was in a sex chatline office so these were the only 2 choices i had therefore i took the chatline job.

Had i got to the sex chatline office after signing off and discovered there was more to it than i had been told at the interview i cant honestly say that i would have said no and gone back to the Job Centre to sign on knowing for a fact that more workfare was awaiting me.

So you see Sarcasticon its a bit more convoluted than women just being forced to take a sex job.

As it turned out i was treated with a bloody sight more respect there than i ever got from workfare providers.

Im on the fence with this I want sex workers to have rights and be protected.

But because i was faced with fuck all chioce FIFTEEN YEARS AGO i could certainly see it happening again now.

[GayeDalton]

PaulDacresMicroPenis

Do you find kids who hang themselves to escape bullying one big laugh too?

DampSqid

It's not something I think anyone should explain to kids, it's a grown up thing...but even so, kids are usually far more pragmatic and objective than adults

[HelenaDove]

Screwfix and Mcdonalds are only going to hire a certain amount of people.

[LassWiTheDelicateAir]

That's a pointless comment if ever there was.

[TheRealPosieParker]

"How do you think a mum would survive with a three year benefit sanction?"

1, I think most do not turn to prostitution, especially considering prostitution is much older than benefit sanctions.
2, how is that a justification to make it legal for punters?

[TheRealPosieParker]

Then there's always the mothers who make money from renting out their kids too....

[LassWiTheDelicateAir]

Flora mentioned Magnanti's vile comment about her writing career. Here it is. It's almost unbelievable anyone could be so selfish and stupid.

gu.com/p/379gm?

But mud sticks, I say, just as it does when she is accused of encouraging young women to enter prostitution by writing Belle de Jour

"I've got to accept that. If that's the flip side that comes with the incredible privilege of being able to write books for a living, there are far worse fates."

[MassiveStrumpet]

I don't have much interest in Dr. Magneti. But I'm not sure if I'd classify that as "Vile." I'm not entirely sure what she means, but I assume she's acknowledging that she benefits from putting herself in the public eye and so has to accept that she will attract criticism.

I thought Bindel's comment that the Belle Du Jour thing is a burden to Magneti had some merit. Being outed probably means that she can never work in her field of academic study. So she has to brave it out and find a way to make a living.

Having never read her blog or book or watched the TV show, I'm not sure what image was portrayed of the industry. Even if it was an accurate portrayal of her experience, I don't think there can be any one representative portrayal of prostitution. My experience hasn't been glamorous but it hasn't been grim. It would make for very boring television.

[GayeDalton]

TheRealPosieParker

You still haven't answered my question:
How do you think a mum would survive with a three year benefit sanction?
I am asking you what you think she would do, or can't you think of anything at all?

, how is that a justification to make it legal for punters?

Because clients are the ones paying sex workers...and the money IS the point.

Then there's always the mothers who make money from renting out their kids too....

There are people who make money from robbing banks, contract killing and drug dealing who are totally irrelevant to a discussion of sex work too.

You haven't really got a point have you? You just hurl abuse and try to make it as nasty as possible. Do you seriously think that if you hurl enough abuse and insults someone like me is going to suddenly stop telling the truth and start telling the lies you want them to?

[GayeDalton]

sixinabed
As I hear it, sanctions are pretty arbitrary and dished out to quota. It's quite a big issue, so big the UN are attempting to intervene.

This thread has become very surreal with it being argued that mums are failing their children by not taking sex work, and children's suicide being pegged to that. WTF?

In the real world you have never visited all of these things and many, many more, some far worse, are direct consequences of not having any way to get the money to survive let alone live. Which is what motivates survival sex workers.

But it kinda illustrates the point that if it becomes a legitimate choice then many more women will be sucked in by the supposed benefits of it, and or coerced by welfare sanctions.

Staying alive, keeping your children alive, materially comfortable as well as mentally, physically and emotionally healthy are not supposed benefits they are very real ones.

Again I ask:

How do you think a mum would survive with a three year benefit sanction?

[PaulDacresMicroPenis]

PaulDacresMicroPenis

Do you find kids who hang themselves to escape bullying one big laugh too?

Of course I bloody don't, what a ridiculous response.
It's as unreasonable as me saying "if you think sex work is just another job I bet you'd let your children do it at the weekend to earn a bit of cash"

[PlentyOfPubeGardens]

At some point during the 3 years they tend to get jobs, Gaye - actual jobs, not sex 'work'. Or they successfully appeal the sanction / get moved onto ESA if appropriate. How do you think dads survive with 3 year benefit sanctions? Why aren't they all out selling sex?

This thread is very confusing. On the one hand we are being asked to accept that selling sex is 'just a job' but on the other you are saying this is something that desperate women have to do to survive (in your case as an end result of having been impregnated by a child abuser).

Which is it?

[LassWiTheDelicateAir]

Thanks grey and pauldacres for your sensible responses.