Guest post: "Britain must not turn its back on child refugees in Europe"

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I can only imagine my desperation if I had to consider sending my boys away just to keep them safe.

But if I ever had to, I’d want a mother like Karen to be there for them. Karen is an amazing woman who told her story of fostering a refugee boy and brought huge attention to a campaign to get more refugee children settled safely in Britain.

This week, MPs had the chance to vote to let mothers like Karen keep doing what they want to do - opening their homes and their hearts to refugee children who are in Europe all alone without a mum or dad to look after them. I'm ashamed to say that they did not, and that the government decided to close the door to the thousands of children who need our help. The campaign was only asking for 3,000 children to come to Britain. To put that in context – that would be just five children per parliamentary constituency, and nowhere near the 10,000 mostly Jewish children that Britain saved through the Kindertransport before the Second World War.

I took a special interest in this vote because I have been working at Theirworld to help create school places for Syrian refugee children in Turkey, Lebanon and Jordan, where many fleeing families arrive first. I have been focused on how to make sure that children never embark on a further dangerous journey to find a safe haven. When I saw that the British parliament was considering a vote to offer a welcome to 3,000 lone children who really need us to open our hearts and homes, I wanted to add my support. So last week I wrote to my local MP for the first time ever. I wanted his backing for refugee children, an issue that goes well beyond party politics. I know lots of Mumsnetters contacted their MPs too and have heard from many of you on Twitter. It was devastating to see the government vote down the proposal to give safety to lone refugee children in Europe.

But this does not stop there. The House of Lords last night voted to back the bill thanks to the efforts of Lord Dubs and other campaigners. So it goes back to the House of Commons next Tuesday with a chance for MPs to reconsider their vote and help 3,000 lone children.

One of the ways you can help them think again is to sign this petition. If enough of us do it then perhaps a few more MPs will listen and reconsider their vote. In pushing for this change we won't be on our own – we have the backing of lots of energetic dedicated groups like Citizens UK, Save the Children, HelpRefugees and others. This weekend the former Archbishop of Canterbury gave his blessing, arguing that this is a chance to honour what our parents and grandparents did in the face of an earlier catastrophe.

This is not a question of sparking a new political controversy - that is not my way and not the Mumsnet way, I don't think - it is a matter of simple humanity. While we can't ensure that every child is safe in his or her own country, we can act to prevent children dying on our doorstep here in Europe, and ensure a safe home and education and hope for a better future.

As long as this terrible crisis runs on and horribly on - then we have obligations to the children who are here in our continent. Our MPs now have a second chance to help these vulnerable children and we should help them to take it.

Please join me, and sign here: Britain must not turn its back on child refugees in Europe.

Emily, have you applied to become a foster carer yet? When do you start your assessment. Do let us know how it goes.

Emily maybe stop name calling and being deliberately goady.

It's a lack of etiquette and manners. Engaging debate does not mean purely calling names. Constructive points are a better way of engaging altogether.

Is that why you sometimes post random songs or make comments about sweets on threads about refugees, sporting? To make constructive points?

FFS! Seriously, where is the debate on the actual issue?

Looks like vile abuse from the open borders cult is failing to win hearts and minds - amazing how those claiming to be the most concerned with humanity are the most abusive to those who dare to disagree with them.

Looks like vile abuse from the open borders cult is failing to win hearts and minds
Yes. Was asked today by a Y9 boy (inner city comp) how I would vote. I don't reveal this, so asked him what he thought. And he said that his parents were worried about open borders, people smugglers and the refugees being foisted on the UK by the EU, and the effect on schools and the NHS and would be voting 'out' and he agreed with them.

Strangely they are not as random as you may think, but you might not be as into music as I am I guess. However you are probably not going to pick up on the nuances are you? Never mind. At least music is rarely unpleasant or rude is it?

I've not been on MN for a few days, but am amazed that this thread is still maundering on. Several foster carers, including me, who work with hard to place teenagers, including unaccompanied asylum seekers, explained in detail the huge lack of resources and issues our looked after children face.

There is a huge lack of foster carers who want to take these difficult children. There is a lack of resources to fund the children in care - we have to fight for every bit of extra help we need - CAMHS, educational specialists, psychologists, speech therapists, nutritionists. We have children with special needs being sectioned and sent to the other end of the country.

When our foster children leave care they often end up in prison, prostitution or dead and a big contributing factor to this is not just because they have had shit starts to their lives, but because they have no families to support them.

It's just not possible to stretch us any thinner. If there are unaccompanied Syrian children living in Calais (or anywhere else in Europe), they should be taken to orphanages in proper camps close to Syria, looked after by Syrians and funded properly.

You might be into music, but it wasn't a thread about musical appreciation. Someone making a constructive point would have made the point, then linked to the song which confirmed their point, thus illustrating the 'nuances' and, well, the point. Simply posting songs without explaining their relevance to a prior point is derailment.

I must have missed the 'nuances' in your picture of your cat and references to Magnums and Ferrero Rocher too.

Musical is frequently abusive and rude.

Provide proof for that claim please, hildur.

Good god what kind of music are you into? It must be some of the worst kind of stuff then. Perhaps you need to listen to something a bit nicer? My cat is nice.

Some of your points have not been particularly well qualified. I don't think you would have got the links I was making, others however did so as I say never mind.

I've no idea what the references to music are about, but I agree Sportinguista that a lyric or the nuance of a song can help explain a point. We find that music helps the children in our care. Especially those with attachment issues who often regress when they have been in care for a while.

And anyone can come on MN and behave in an abusive manner it seems.

Anyone can come on mumsnet and say they are a foster carer.

How about you stop making digs at people.

You seem to become abusive when people don't agree with you. Not a very nice trait.

Yes it is a bit unpleasant and unproductive. I don't get particularly het up if people don't agree with me, after all it is a free country and people are entitled to their own opinions. i don't think I have to be right at all times. There often is no right or wrong to an issue but somewhere in between and very little in life is black and white.

What a very rude thing to say Emilybohemia. You and I have spoken upthread at length about my fostering experiences.

Report today on Sky - Child Mental Health Services Falling Apart

'Funding shortfalls for children's mental health services are putting lives at risk, parents say, as new figures reveal the scale of concern over NHS treatment.

CAMHS was described as 'broken, falling apart'.

I shan't quote the whole article. Or labour the point that fostering and mental health care for children on UK soil at present is at breaking point.

look here Emily

"9,070 new foster families are needed in the next 12 months alone to care for a range of children, with the greatest need being for foster carers for older children, sibling groups, disabled children and unaccompanied asylum seeking children."

Never let the facts deter you from proselytising.

Have you applied to be a foster carer yet Emily...Any chance of you stepping off your soap box and actually doing something practical to help, other than posting on the internet, signing petitions and telling us how wonderful your husband is? What have YOU done for them lately, hmmm?

To be fair, if somebody is living abroad they don't see our news or use our services, so haven't a clue what it's like to live here now.

I am mystified why somebody in that position would think their cause is helped spending large amounts of time making the type of posts they do focusing their time and energy on a British forum rather than improving things in their own country.

I thought there was fostering approval already for taking in the abused child by the a family member, that an extension was the blocking point.

Several foster carers ... explained in detail the huge lack of resources and issues our looked after children face

Yes, and many of us have read your comments with interest. Trouble is you're not supposed to mention inconvenient facts or ask sensible questions, you see - just to swallow someone else's ideology wholesale

Maybe all the noise and fury we're hearing is that discredited ideology finally coming crashing down?

Death throes you mean?

It is inconvenitent and upsetting when the world doesn't tally with what we believe. But that's life isn't it.

There are many things I don't think are just or fair, but I do what I can to either bring about change myself, help on what scale I can or put pressure on those who are in a position to do so whilst keeping a realistic perspective of what can be achieved and being mindful of what I think may be the right thing may not indeed be the best solution. Taking the perspectives and ideas of others into account is a vital part of the way we shape solutions and ideas together.

It doesn't mean there isn't a solution to this particular issue, it just means there may be a variety of solutions to suit different situations that will work well for everybody. A positive outcome is what we are seeking, lets look at all options rather than just miring ourselves in one idea.

Beautifully, put, sporting but I still say you're in danger of bringing common sense into it

Also with you on the "death throes" thing - as I've mentioned before, the extremists have had things their own way for a long time now and perhaps didn't expect that their orthodoxy would ever be challenged

To be fair it must be uncomfortable and I guess we can't expect them to give that up easily ...

Does mumsnet represent 'the world'? I don't think so. Do the three foster carers that have appeared to comment on this thread represent all UK foster carers? I think not. They don't reflect the attitude of the one in the article the op links to for starters.

I have stated in this thread 'what I have done.' I volounteer at a detention centre. I help people with the language barrier. So far, I have met Syrians and Iraqis there.

I don't see the problem in stating what my other half has done. I think the experiences of volounteers are valuable. He met a lot of children, some injured by Assad's barrel bombs. Other 'practical things' I did to help were send warm clothing and toys with him for them but there were limitations on what we were allowed to send.

Many people are unable to be foster carers but help refugees in other ways. Being unable to be a foster carer doesn't cancel out someone's right to comment positively in favour of helping refugees find shelter in the UK. There are many services that need improving, but we don't need to become for example a doctor, teacher or psychologist, in order to insist they need improving.

It isn't abusive to point out that many comments here display very questionable views or are poorly thought out. Pointing out the prejudices behind what people say is very important at a time when media and politicians circulate hate filled propaganda that has dangerous consequences. Strangely, a post inferring I am personally responsible for deaths at Idomeni has been allowed to stand, but that's mumsnet for you.

'I don't know why people are worried - Emily prints maps for refugees - so not as many will arrive who were sent if you get my drift'.

I got your drift, hildur. This really is vile abuse. You still haven't been back to back it up either.