Guest post: "Britain must not turn its back on child refugees in Europe"

[MumsnetGuestPosts]

I can only imagine my desperation if I had to consider sending my boys away just to keep them safe.

But if I ever had to, I’d want a mother like Karen to be there for them. Karen is an amazing woman who told her story of fostering a refugee boy and brought huge attention to a campaign to get more refugee children settled safely in Britain.

This week, MPs had the chance to vote to let mothers like Karen keep doing what they want to do - opening their homes and their hearts to refugee children who are in Europe all alone without a mum or dad to look after them. I'm ashamed to say that they did not, and that the government decided to close the door to the thousands of children who need our help. The campaign was only asking for 3,000 children to come to Britain. To put that in context – that would be just five children per parliamentary constituency, and nowhere near the 10,000 mostly Jewish children that Britain saved through the Kindertransport before the Second World War.

I took a special interest in this vote because I have been working at Theirworld to help create school places for Syrian refugee children in Turkey, Lebanon and Jordan, where many fleeing families arrive first. I have been focused on how to make sure that children never embark on a further dangerous journey to find a safe haven. When I saw that the British parliament was considering a vote to offer a welcome to 3,000 lone children who really need us to open our hearts and homes, I wanted to add my support. So last week I wrote to my local MP for the first time ever. I wanted his backing for refugee children, an issue that goes well beyond party politics. I know lots of Mumsnetters contacted their MPs too and have heard from many of you on Twitter. It was devastating to see the government vote down the proposal to give safety to lone refugee children in Europe.

But this does not stop there. The House of Lords last night voted to back the bill thanks to the efforts of Lord Dubs and other campaigners. So it goes back to the House of Commons next Tuesday with a chance for MPs to reconsider their vote and help 3,000 lone children.

One of the ways you can help them think again is to sign this petition. If enough of us do it then perhaps a few more MPs will listen and reconsider their vote. In pushing for this change we won't be on our own – we have the backing of lots of energetic dedicated groups like Citizens UK, Save the Children, HelpRefugees and others. This weekend the former Archbishop of Canterbury gave his blessing, arguing that this is a chance to honour what our parents and grandparents did in the face of an earlier catastrophe.

This is not a question of sparking a new political controversy - that is not my way and not the Mumsnet way, I don't think - it is a matter of simple humanity. While we can't ensure that every child is safe in his or her own country, we can act to prevent children dying on our doorstep here in Europe, and ensure a safe home and education and hope for a better future.

As long as this terrible crisis runs on and horribly on - then we have obligations to the children who are here in our continent. Our MPs now have a second chance to help these vulnerable children and we should help them to take it.

Please join me, and sign here: Britain must not turn its back on child refugees in Europe.

Have you seen PurpleCrocs post Maud? She stated that there are foster carers willing to do it. The number propsosed is very small. There would hardly be an 'army' of carers required.

Ok emily you foster some children.

I think 3000 children would require about 2000 fostering families. To me that's an army of carers all right Emily . Finding that number would be hard enough, but given that many of them would need to care for older and very traumatised teens, and most foster carers don't want to do that, it makes it even harder to recruit. If the children were all 5-year olds, then maybe, but as I've said, that's not the profile that we're seeing here.

I do think it's important for people to hear the truth of the situation from people like me and Maudd who are actually doing it

I couldn't agree more and thank you for your valuable insight

Granted there will always be those who the facts don't quite suit, but that doesn't mean the facts should be suppressed, however much they might wish otherwise

Cheese

'and apparently don't live in England'

I'm British and lived in the UK for 33 years thanks so perhaps be wary oflistening to the xenophobes on this thread. My sexually abused niece lived with me so I also have experience of social services and child trauma.

You and Maud don't represent all foster carers. Maud's comments on the cultures the children came from sounded rather prejudiced to me. Many foster carers are able to recognise that children must be recognised as individuals.

'I've seen on other threads that you're always spoiling for a fight and you're not getting it from me'.

I haven't been 'spoiling for a fight' on any thread, Maud. I have been calling for people to help refugees and provide safe passage. I have challenged racism and xenophobia and I will challenge it whether someone is a foster carer or not. I have also been bullied time and time again and had my mental health called into question for doing so.

Emily you are clutching at straws trying to find something objectionable in what I've said. My comment about cultures was information given by my LA based on what's actually happening, it was not some made-up opinion of my own. It's a fact, whether you like it or not. And the better informed we are about potential difficulties in any placement that we have as carers, the more likely it is that we'll manage the situation properly and it will be successful.

Yet again, an otherwise excellent thread is in danger of becoming all about Emily and her pie-in-the-sky views!

Open borders are like having poor personal boundaries and allowing anyone into your home and do as they please to you and your children.

No you've been calling posters xenophobes. PA's are against talk guidelines. There are no deletions on this thread other than your own so I guess MNHQ don't agree with your definition of xenophobia.

Saying someone is being xenophobic is not a personal attack. itsjust.

You sound quite prejudiced, Maud. There are many posters on this thead talking ferociously against taking child refugees, yet you, apparently a foster carer, describe the thread as 'excellent.' I find that very worrying.

What a dreadfully frustrating situation you must find yourself in Emily. Your husband and personal friends from Bristol are No Borders activists whipping up fear & frenzy at Idomeni and yet none of them will fill a car with "desperate children" and drive them to the bosem of your home. No wonder it's so hard for you - so near and yet so far - impotence must be tiresome.

She can't drive them to the bosom of her home as the country she resides in has not accepted any refugees unless of the Christian persuasion, and not many of those either. She is pontificating to the British taxpayer from afar.

Urgh Emily, I can't be bothered with this nonsense any more. I'm not going to help you kill this thread by answering your posts, going round in circles and doubtless boring everyone else to death. For the record, I'm not prejudiced at all, I'm being realistic about the difficulties. I'm mixed race myself and I grew up in a conflict zone, so I do have at least some understanding of some of the issues on a personal level, as well as what I've learned from being a carer. I won't be replying to anything else you say or accuse me of.

Maudd, your posts have been balanced.

I too am a British citizen but as I no longer reside in the UK and therefore do not pay British taxes, I don't feel it my place to badger others who will be putting their hand into their pockets. Unlike a certain poster who has peppered these boards with her repeated exhortations.

The country I live is is "front line" and has taken in many. The unaccompanied children (real and imagined) are placed in children's homes where the older ones learn a trade as well as being sent to school. Many, however, abscond because they want to reach the richer shores of the more northern countries, hence the thousands of missing children in "Europe" (which the UK is geographically a part of). Some may have been plucked off by traffickers, but many disappear of their own volition. There are no children tear gassed here, unless involved in a mass riot with adults, of which there have been a couple in reception centres because they weren't being bussed northwards quickly enough.

'She is pontificating to the British taxpayer from afar.'

I know!

The cheek of it!

Thank you Sarah

Maud sounds like she has a real grip on the situation, I know it doesn't suit a certain agenda but hey, at times the truth can be uncomfortable.

It appeaes to me that unless you agree 100% with the No Borders cult, it appears you are a whole host of names. How odd for someone from a group claiming to be kind and against witch hunting, seems to display the very behaviour they find abhorrent in others.

Where do No borders want the refugees to end up? America? They don't seem to class any European country safe enough for refugees.

I'd just like the following questions answered:

1. To whom will these "children" go?
2. How many of these "children" is enough? What's the top number?
3. What's the top rate of tax people are prepared to pay to support the influx?
4. How long should children already in the UK wait for services they need right now if others are to "queue jump"?

But we never get answers do we, just hand-wring, rending of cloth and wooly answers peppered with the rabid cry of xenophobe and racist.

Five children per Parliamentary constituency is not a lot and anyone arguing against it or saying it can't be done should be ashamed of themselves.

The country I live is is "front line" and has taken in many. The unaccompanied children (real and imagined) are placed in children's homes where the older ones learn a trade as well as being sent to school. Many, however, abscond because they want to reach the richer shores of the more northern countries, hence the thousands of missing children in "Europe"

That's interesting, Izlet - I like the idea of the older ones being schooled and encouraged to learn a trade, but I'm also interested in your comment about the many who've absconded to reach supposedly richer places

Since this seems to be the closest we've yet got to an actual suggestion of where these "missing children" are, can I ask if you have any links/other information about it?

So possibly registering like the missing adults under various names in different countries?