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Guest post: 'Mumsnet is like having a thousand extra sisters you never knew you needed'

42 replies

MumsnetGuestPosts · 11/03/2015 14:18

In 2012, I had a breakdown and was admitted to a psychiatric hospital with severe depression. The day after I was admitted, a member of staff came to my room to say that I had two visitors. I didn't recognise their names. When I met them in the corridor, in front of the staff, they greeted me like old friends, and I went along with it.

When we were alone in the visiting room, they introduced themselves, with an apology. "Sorry," the tall one said, "but if I'd introduced myself as TheSecondComing and said that she was a BitOfFun, they'd never have let us in." I burst out laughing. It was the first time I'd laughed in weeks. That, my friends, is what Mumsnetters are all about.

Fast forward to 2014 and I was ill again and back in hospital. Soon after I was discharged, the news filtered through the community that The Orchard hospital where I had been treated was now male only, meaning there was no local psychiatric inpatient care for women at all. All the female patients were being sent miles away for treatment, with no chance of being treated close to home.

I can clearly remember how far my stomach sank when I heard the news. I felt sick, I felt scared, and I felt vulnerable. What if I got ill again? What would it be like to be miles away from my children, my family, my friends? I walked around my home town thinking about it, and the more I walked and the more I thought, the angrier I became. How could the needs of women like me be dismissed so casually? How could we lose a service without a thought as to how it would affect the women around me? I needed to do something, but what, and how? I needed help from somewhere.

I sent out a call for help from the people I knew, and much of that help came from Mumsnetters. With their help, the Beds in the Orchard campaign was started.

MmeLindor gave me a crash course on how to run a social media campaign by using a blog and Twitter to generate interest and support, and provided me with a long list of names of people who she thought could help. Therealsgm came to the rescue by posting about the situation on a site she helped run, which in turn generated interest from national media, with articles in the New Statesman and the Huffington Post. Another Mumsnetter put me in contact with a journalist, who gave me amazing advice about what to do next, leading to coverage on local BBC Radio and in the press.

A lot of work went into keeping the campaign going at a local level, with service users joining together to share their stories and look into the legal aspects of the closure, but that was all backed up by the help and support from my Mumsnet family. With their help, we turned a small campaign about six beds in a small psychiatric unit in the corner of North Lancashire into something that people all over the country cared about and wanted to support.

Mumsnetters tweeted and retweeted our posts and promoted the campaign. Mumsnet Bloggers gave me Blog of the Day, generating many more signatures on our petition. The local Mumsnet and Gransnet sites for Preston, Blackpool, Lancashire and Cumbria all helped support the campaign by sharing our blog, promoting our petition, and tweeting their support. Hundreds of Mumsnetters signed our petition, and some even wrote directly to the Lancashire Care NHS Foundation Trust to show their support for us.

We fought and fought hard to get the beds back for the women, and we WON! At the end of January 2015, the Trust reverted The Orchard to a mixed-sex facility, and we doubt that they will close it to women again.

Being a Mumsnetter is like having a thousand extra sisters you never knew you needed. Since joining, I have had support through some of the toughest experiences of my life, including my child being diagnosed with autism, and serious illness.

I have had support and advice about everything from how to navigate the system to get a Statement of SEN for my child, to how to get rid of the mould from my washing machine. I have laughed my hardest at some of the funniest threads and cried along with those who are suffering. When I was in hospital, women I'd never met or spoken to in real life wrote me letters and made me feel cared about in a way that's hard to express in words.

I have met some of my best friends on Mumsnet, with online acquaintances turning into real life friends. Even though, sadly, one of them now lives on the other side of the world, I count myself fortunate to know them every day.

So Happy Birthday, Mumsnet! I am truly honoured to have been given a guest post for your birthday. You're one in a million, and I'm glad I have your sisterhood on my side.

OP posts:
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YonicScrewdriver · 11/03/2015 20:28

Amazing.

Flowers

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ArseforElbow · 11/03/2015 20:31

I often wondered what had happened with The Orchard. So pleased your hard work paid off and it's staying open Smile

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AnnieLobeseder · 11/03/2015 20:34


Sodding nest of vipers, the lot of you.



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MmeLindor · 11/03/2015 20:42

Flowers

[need a teary emoticon]

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BrainSurgeon · 11/03/2015 20:47

Cake Wine Flowers MN

love you lots

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alexpolistigers · 12/03/2015 06:30

I have just seen this now, this morning. A lovely post to wake up to. So glad about the campaign, I remember tweeting about it.

I have also made some wonderful friends who I would never have met if it weren't for MN and my life has been incredibly enriched.

Flowers

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pinkbraces · 12/03/2015 09:02

What a great post and blog.

Flowers

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AmyElliotDunne · 12/03/2015 09:18

I have something in my eye.

MN encouraged me to LTB after many miserable, grey years trying to make it work. I wonder without MN how many of us would still be living in crappy situations, believing 'if only I tried harder things would improve'.

Having someone tell you that you don't need permission to leave and that actually life could be pretty amazing afterwards is so liberating.

And like the best friend/sister we all need, MN will also tell you when you're being a twat.

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WandaDoff · 12/03/2015 10:07

You're a lovely bunch of cunts you lot xx

Brilliant post Flowers

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psychomum5 · 12/03/2015 10:18

What a really lovely post that really does sum up MN so perfectly - "Being a Mumsnetter is like having a thousand extra sisters you never knew you needed"

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ninawish · 12/03/2015 11:11

Mumsnet has dramatically changed my life in so many ways - no real life friends yet as I'm an expat in Australia but I feel like I have this huge wealth of advice and support I never knew was there and now it's at my finger tips

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MrsCakesPrecognition · 12/03/2015 12:04

I am so, so very glad to find out that the Orchard Beds campaign has been successful Grin. Absolutely made my week.

Hats off to all you wonderful vipers.

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BathshebaDarkstone · 12/03/2015 13:57

Well I never thought of Mumsnet like that as my sister's only 15 and I barely know her. Is that what sisters do? How lovely. Flowers

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Heckler · 12/03/2015 14:34

So pleased that the Orchards campaign was successful. I tried to help in my own little way by sharing on FB.

I don't have any sisters, so I 'spose you lot will have to do. Wink

Lovely post.

Much love to you Keema Smile Wine

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chickensaresafehere · 12/03/2015 15:38

I'm an only child,but I know if I ever need any advice I can get it from my sisters at Mumsnet (shit,that is so cheesy Confused).
Well done!!You've helped me through some bad times,made me laugh & made me cry.

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WandaDoff · 13/03/2015 15:25
advert has always made me think of Mumsnet rather than Unison
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pisacake · 14/01/2018 13:51

A sort of follow-up from this story is in the Times today.

www.thetimes.co.uk/edition/news/terrified-patient-treated-like-transphobic-bigot-bsfsgrv2p

Not sure if Philippa is still active here.

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