Guest post: 'It's time we rebelled against the way fitness is sold to us'

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When I was at primary school, I wasn't just an unsporty child: I was positively anti-sporty. One of my earliest memories is of being instructed to run to a wall on the other side of the football pitch and back at breaktime. By the time I turned round for the return leg, all my classmates were happily tucking into their Marmite sandwiches while sniggering at my snail-like speed. Things were even worse on the netball field, where the A-list girls simply refused to throw the ball to me, even when I was standing directly underneath the goal.

As a result, I had always associated sport with hot-faced humiliation and avoided any sort of activity for over 20 years, faking a case of athlete's foot for five years to avoid swimming and sneaking to the back of the queue in rounders so I wouldn't even have to trot a few steps.

Adverts extolling exercise didn't help either - the proud owner of a bottom that always looks big in everything, I simply couldn't identify with the lithe whippets who were supposed to be my role models. It was almost as if sporty types had membership to an exclusive club with a 'curvy types need not apply' policy. When was the last time you saw a plus-size fit kit?

Fast forward to 2015, however, and it's an entirely different story. Having run 67 marathons so far, I'm an aspiring member of the 100 Marathon Club and my goal is to do at least another 15 this year in addition to a 100-mile walk in Holland. So what changed? What turned me into a marathon convert after decades of extreme exercise avoidance?

Age definitely had something to do with it. Firstly, I didn't want to spend my thirties feeling as unhealthy as I did in my twenties. And secondly, I cared a lot less about what others thought. In my younger days I'd have been mortified to learn that I'd come last (yes, really, last!) in no fewer than five marathons. In my forties I'm thrilled that I've plucked up the courage to attempt them at all.

Older and wiser, I no longer judge myself against other people's criteria for what being 'sporty' involves. 'Talented, athletic and competitive' - I'm none of these things. What I am now is 'active', a word that to me implies that I'm doing my own sweet thing to keep moving, for my own sweet reasons, and I don't care how 'well' I'm doing it. Instead of being mortified that I don't look like a runner, I take great delight in proving that running isn't only for those who look fabulous in Lycra.

Watching Sport England's - which aims to 'inspire women to wiggle, jiggle, move and prove that judgement is a barrier that can be overcome' - I was impressed by how well the filmmakers captured what being active is all about. Yes, the ad says, there's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be competitive, but there's also room for the rest of us - the ones with wobbly bits, who find being competitive stressful and demotivating. Stop judging yourselves, urges the ad, forget about whether you're sporty or not and just get moving.

I can vouch first-hand for the benefits of adopting this philosophy. Whenever I look at my burgeoning medal collection I'm reminded that being active gives me the greatest sense of achievement I've ever known - which is heightened because, well, I'm 'bad' at running, and each and every medal has been so hard won. They are mementoes of success measured in my own terms: in every race it's not about the time I've done, but the fun time I've had; not about the people I've beaten, but the friends I've made.

This new sense of self-belief has benefited innumerable other areas of my life: I ditched my career as an editor, which wasn't really going anywhere, and retrained as a clinical hypnotherapist; I wrote the books I'd always dreamed of writing; I reinvented myself as The World's Slowest Marathon Correspondent and now travel the world reporting on marathons for three running publications.

So perhaps us 'unsporty' types should ignore the 'sporty' label entirely and adopted a new one - 'active' - instead. It's time we rebelled against the way fitness is sold to us - as a glamorous and aspirational lifestyle choice reserved for the firm of thigh and fleet of foot. Only once we shatter the stereotype of what a fit person looks and acts like will we be able to realise our true potential.

Lisa is the co-author of Running Made Easy. Find out more here.

I've read on here that some schools stream for p.e. and it sounds really interesting. Do they teach mixed ability in a swimming club? No, they put people into squads where they can train together and race each other at something like the same level. Ditto for other sport clubs I'm sure. I think this is so much more intelligent... The kids who are into a particular sport can go off an excel at that without me ruining their team, and I can go off with the other less fit kids and work up from where we are. No 'letting the team down' no humiliation of everyone in the class watching as the stragglers struggle to the Finnish line...

Thanks so much for all your lovely comments about my Guest Post. I was grinning when I thought of my own Houdini-esque contortions in the gym changing rooms! If there was a prize for never letting anyone see my body I'd have won it every week.

It's been wonderful reading about everyone's journeys to becoming active in later life - I vividly recall starting out and fearing I was the ONLY person who secretly wanted to run even though I wasn't good at it. I also remember how discouraged I was when all running plans seemed to start with 'Run 20 minutes' when I could barely run for the bus. I hope everyone has now discovered the joys of walk/running (where you run for 60 seconds and walk for 2 minutes, and then repeat a few times), a technique I still often use to get me round marathons. Oh, and of course you should all be aware of the amazing power of 'chatrunning' - how gossiping to a friend can make a mile seem like a few metres!

As for the 'c'-word, I believe PE at school should focus on both competition AND participation. I loathed PE sessions but got a real thrill from doing a huge number of laps in a school charity cycle ride, proving that I wasn't really anti-exercise, but anti being made to feel bad because I didn't excel at it.

And finally, being active definitely isn't about donning Lycra - it's about anything that results in an elevated heart rate, flushed cheeks and a wonderful feeling of wellbeing.

Thanks so much for writing this, this is great! Chimes so much with my own experience. I was rubbish at sport at school. I half heartedly took at excersize at about 25 because I needed to lose weight, but I've gotten more and more into it and do it now just because I love it.

I started off as rubbish cyclist and have now done quite a few 100 mile plus rides, although my times are always mediocre at best. I am also a rubbish runner but currently training for my first marathon. Again, I know the time probably won't be great. I know I'll never be the best (or particularly good!) at either, but it's changed my life so much.

I think those of us that give things a go, even when we know we won't be as 'good' as other people should be really proud of ourselves. It would be easy to give up when other people seem so much better, but we don't!

I completely relate to a lot of what you say.

PE was hell for me at school, just the most joyless, humiliating experience. Not sure much has changed, there is still a strong emphasis on team sports which is not everyone's cup of tea. Certainly wasn't mine and it still isn't.

I got in to cycling after watching my mum and dad finish the London 2 Brighton bike ride and then moved onto running. This was 6 years ago. I've run a marathon but have no plans to repeat what was an awesome but horrific experience.

I still run 4 times a week though, slowly, but I do it. It gives me a sense of freedom and mental space that nothing else does. I will never be fast but I really don't care.

I'm proud of being a runner, I appreciate that I am fit and strong if not especially slim or lithe!

What a fantastic article which I relate to completely.

I decided to give running a try as a way to loose the baby weight even though I hated it and was never "sporty."

A few years later, I'm still doing it and now hate it if I miss a session! The other scary thing is that I have recently started a new job and was described as being so sporty, a label which feels completely alien to me!

Great guest post - thanks. I was sad to read some posters negative experiences of netball at school. Those of you who would be interested in trying it again could look at www.englandnetball.co.uk/my-game/back-to-netball. I went 2 years ago and the experience couldn't be more different from school - I now play in a local league and absolutely love it!

And as if by magic... an article in the Guardian on a similar area:
[http://www.theguardian.com/teacher-network/2015/jan/29/competitive-school-sport-harm]

Biscuits I'd recommend going along to a Roller Derby new intake session if there is one near you. I play on a team with people older than you. It is good exercise and I find people very welcoming and inclusive.

Fantastic post and one I can relate to so much. I am nowhere near the standard in the blog but after years of avoiding sport I am now active and much happier

I too relate to the school experience. Always last to be picked for hockey etc. Hated the changing rooms and those dreadful communal showers.

At the age of 49 I took up running and joined a beginners course at a running club. All ages and all sizes and mainly women. 10 weeks later I could run 5k. I then heard about park run. Not a race but a personal challenge. I love it. Now one year later I am aiming for a 10k road run.

I wish I had found running earlier. I like the team element of running club but the personal challenge of beating my own time.

Another fan of this guest post signing in! I did very well at school academically - not so well at sport. I enjoyed it at Primary School level but got put off it for life - literally - at Secondary School level. I spent my 20s and early 30s taking various attempts at joining gyms/exercise classes/swimming and have done the c25k more times than I care to mention! It finally all clicked with me aged 38 last year. This month sees me having been running consistently for a year and cross training for 10 months, it's the longest I have ever stuck to exercise for in my whole life and it feels bloody wonderful. What was different this time round was being a lot less hard on myself. I didn't book a race to aim for to pressure myself to keep running. It has the opposite effect on me and takes away all the enjoyment. I mixed it up a bit with lots of different kinds of runs, long, fast, easy, short. I joined a very small and informal running club.

My husband also runs and his motivations are completely different to mine, he's always looking to beat his PB, to perfect how he runs and to compete with other runners in his club. I can't think of anything worse! I've decided to have a go at my first half marathon this year but not until the Autumn and with the only expectation of myself is that I finish it!

Brilliant blog and some really thought provoking posts.

I'm another runner who came to it in my 40s, thanks to a C25K thread on MN. I'm a regular parkrunner, have half a dozen HMs under my belt and completed a marathon in 2013. At the time someone told me that the achievement was not simply running the marathon distance, but all the training and hard work that had gone into preparing for it (and he was right). I hope to do another one in 2017, when I will turn 50. DH is also a runner. Both DCs are very sporty (rugby, football, athletics, swimming, cricket, DS1 has run 2 HMs in times I can only dream of)

I was another one picked to be GK in netball because I was tall for my age at primary school, even though I was good at shooting.

I played hockey at secondary school. At one point the teacher told my parents that I got into to team no through any natural talent, but because I worked hard and turned up to practice, unlike other girls who had boyfriends. I think she meant it in a good way but it didn't feel like that at 15, with no boyfriend and no chance of one .

I took up squash in my 20s (yes, it was the 80's/90s as someone said), and a gym in my 30s (after DH gently pointed out that I was gaining weight and losing fitness, just as our children were starting to get interested in sport), but running is my "thing". I was bouncing along yesterday thinking "I can do this, I'm really enjoying it, I feel strong and fit and happy". I will be drawing on that feeling on the days when my confidence is a bit wobbly.

Great thread

again- very non sporty (at 4ft 11 there are very few sports that people want you to do at school! never picked for the netball team and got stuck in goal for Hockey!)

Started C25k on here a few years ago- did the GNR in 2012 and in 2013 (sept) had a very big surprise in the shape of DD (a whole 10 years gap between her and my youngest DS).

Commitments of work and a little baby and family life made me push my own needs to the back. Late last year I felt desperately unhappy about everything- a real sinking feeling that I am approaching my 40's with a feeling that I do nothing for myself- everyone else comes first.

January 2015 I made a pledge (to myself and my own sanity) that I would run at least 1000 miles this year (spurred on largely by Alexandra Hemingsley who wrote 'running like a girl').
Im not getting out until after 7pm every night- but I take my dog with me and I love having that 45 mins/1 hour for me.

I signed up to do the Great Midland Fun Run in May (the dog is able to run this with me) and also the Birmingham HM in October.

I think running is saving my life, seriously.

Lovely to see so many people taking up running and enjoying it at the pace that is comfortable to them!

Last in 5 marathons is a million times better than most! I personally never want to run a marathon.

I started running 3 years ago, with c25k as other have, and wished I'd started earlier. Has helped my mental state so much! Quite worried about stopping to have my baby so am still at it at 31weeks

This is why I love parkrun, everyone can come along and give it a go and improve with a supportive group of people. I wish more would feel happy to come along before they can run 5k in a certain amount of time or run all. We welcome EVERYONE at any stage of their running career and any ability!

Love what running has done for me and so glad so any people are coming forward saying that anyone can as I know so many who say 'it's great for you but I couldn't do it' for all sorts of reasons.

Parkrun is amazing.

I did my first one on Saturday with 8 year old DS. I hadn't been feeling great, but didn't want to pull out so I was pretty darned slow, plus it's the first time DS has done a distance like that, so we were not in any way fast. However they have a lovely pacer chap who stays at the back and chats to you and even though DS and I were very slow, much slower than my usual pretty slow speed , we weren't last. Although I was reminded that no one comes last in parkrun - in fact it's the back runner who does.

It's a wonderful experience and huge thank yous to the volunteers who man it. Also great as it is free, because I used to enter quite a few races but that was before I had DS so had a lot more disposable income, now I only do a few because they are at least £20 a pop, or there is the expectation that you will raise charity money, which frankly I am embarassed to ask for unless I was doing something really challenging like a marathon ( which is probably never going to happen).

I would encourage anyone to come along regardless of their level of and fitness. Not so far in front of me ( so still very slow) was a lady with a 100 race jacket on, meaning she had done 100 5k park runs at least. Clearly didn't bother her to be bringing up the rear.

rookie I was looking at twee inspirational parkrun quotes on pinterest the other days. This one stuck with me ....... "no matter how slow you go, you are still lapping everyone on the couch."

Yes meglet I said something very similar to DS as he was making lots of comments about not wanting to be last !

I always tell myself that meglet

Also '20 min 5K or 45 min 5K, it's still 5K'

Actually I think us slow pokes have done much more work biscuits as we exercise for longer.

Good point there rookie Not one I thought of TBH

Agree with OP that we should rebel about how fitness is sold to us.

Like many here I've always been anti sport. (Don't get me started on taxpayers funding 'elite' sports and Jonathan Edwards being lauded for being able to do a slightly longer hop skip and jump than most people!)

I was always fit until I had a car because I walked everywhere. I tried gyms etc at various points in my 20s and 30s but instead of feeling great afterwards I generally felt vicious and furious. Got the urge to smash plates (or people if they'd come too close!) so it obviously wasn't for me. With some trepidation I had my 'nearly 50' NHS check-up but was told that I was fit because my 30 min dog walk everyday, as I walk at a decent pace, was actually meeting the exercise guidelines. Hurrah!

So forget the expensive fake air con gym and have a half hour walk for free. No need to buy expensive trainers or spend cash on fun runs (potentially damaging knees or ankles). Just have a brisk walk! And if you can get a nice dog to join you, even better!

So I agree, fitness is definitely mis-sold. Fitness is a huge industry trading on people's insecurities. Gym membership, fancy trainers, making friends shell out sponsoring for a charity because you fancy doing a run.... That's ok if that's what you want to do, but to be FITTER you don't need any of it (or any medals). You just need to walk a bit more!

As parents, instead of hoping schools do a better job now, maybe we need to make an effort to ask what non-competitive activities are being taught in gym?

And pay attention, the competitive sporty types who end up as gym teachers will try to make anything competitive. Object everything being turned into a public ranking!

Dancercise was new when I was in high school, and we were all pretty excited about it, and would happily have simply dancercised our way through the end of the semester. But no, we had a 'quiz' in the subject which was standing in front of the class, individually, and performing like a trained seal 10 moves as she named them. With rankings on the wall on who got how many each Friday. We only met M-W-F, so a third of the course was spent on that, instead of actually doing the first activity many of us ever enjoyed. (At least, for once, the sporty girls had to work for their grade.) Why not just take notes on each of us while we exercised?

Thank you for writing this! God I can empathise with this post.

As someone who is ultra-competitive in other areas of my life, I took my lack of sporting success at school (last in almost every race, last picked for teams on a regular basis, avid cross country avoider) as being an excuse for not being active. I'm not "sporty", I'm not going to win so why bother....

Flash forward to being an overweight teenager (oh god the horror of the changing room and the gym knickers) , a positively fat 20 year old, a briefly thin 30 yr old (thanks milkshake diet ) and now an overweight pregnant Mum expecting her second child, I want to become active and fit. For the first time in my life, being "active" will be my goal post pregnancy. I want it for myself and I want to show my daughter and DC2 (sex unknown) that it is ok to do things because they are fun and good for you - you don't always HAVE to win (although it is nicer than losing!).

Thanks for expressing the joy that can be found in that.

I completely agree with the OP.

My experience of sport at school is like so many others - the humiliation of not being very good, the cross country runs in winter in the snow, the hockey and netball team cliques who picked their members very carefully (that ruled the swotty, quiet younger Chen out). Now I'm in my forties and don't do any form of sport, which I regret. I like walking and badminton and do both from time to time, but not enough by any manner of means. DD and I also stick a youtube fitness video on occasionally.

I have looked into various clubs, but so much puts me off - the competitiveness (why can't you just join a club and play for the enjoyment??), the assumption that you will have played the sport to some level before, the cost, the timings which just don't fit in with work/kid stuff. I've also tried to incorporate exercise into my daily life more, but my commute to my office in the middle of nowhere (literally) requires me to drive door to door, and I get precisely 30 minutes for lunch if I'm lucky - I don't really fancy walking along the side of a busy dual carriageway in my break. There is a parkrun locally that I've looked at - but guess what, they all run, as opposed to shuffle/stop/wheeze/walk, which is what I'd do.

So I'm now focussing on just moving more, and as the better weather comes in (ie not iced pavements and howling gales) I will get out walking and on my bike.

There is a parkrun locally that I've looked at - but guess what, they all run, as opposed to shuffle/stop/wheeze/walk, which is what I'd do.

Do they run the full distance? Id be surprised if they do. Parkrun is for all running abilities. Yes it is a run, but plenty of people aren't up to running the full 5K and lots walk quite a bit of it.