Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Gransnet

Looking for Mumsnet's sister site for grandparents? Then come on over to Gransnet.

Help me with MIL please!

7 replies

Charingcrossbun · 30/08/2014 09:33

I'm lying in bed listening to DS (5months) laughing at his grandad and to the dulcet tones of his grandma scrubbing my kitchen (uninvited) - I am NOT complaining!!! They are ace! They drive for 3hrs to come and see him and are completely adoring, being gifts, give us rest AND cleans the place!! Which is why I'm asking advise because I don't want to offend and past experience shows we can be on very different wave lengths. My DS is brilliant (arn't they all) but he is not a good sleeper. He wakes through the night (9times between 2145-0600 last night) and requires a dummy/cuddles/feeding to get him back to sleep. We have tried everything you could think of and I'm finally just accepting this is how he is. Whilst I would much rather he slept more I'm not sure how much more advise I can take from my Mother out law about it! She is constantly suggesting medications for him (calpol, neurophen etc). She is also constantly questioning me about breastfeeding (even though we tried formula before bed and it made no difference) and it's starting to feel like judgement, that it is my fault my baby won't sleep and that he has something wrong with him. The odd thing is she tells me DP didn't sleep through until 13months so I'd have thought she's understand. I tried telling her how frustrated I get with other people always asking about his sleep and giving advice but she didn't link it. Any suggestions on how to phrase the "please stop giving me your kind advice" without sounding ungrateful?

OP posts:
Hakluyt · 30/08/2014 09:38

Stop telling her he doesn't sleep! I suspect she's trying to help because you're talking about it.

Is he teething by the way? If so, she might just have a point about trying calpol...........

Charingcrossbun · 30/08/2014 10:30

Thanks. They stay with us when they visit so she can hear him wake. I have stopped talking about it on the phone etc whenever she asks I just say he's fine/getting better. I don't think out and it lying would help the situation.
He has started teething and we did try calpol but it made no impact. You're right in that she is not suggesting ridiculous things it's just...
Am I wrong to just start to accept poor sleeping? I have a very happy healthy boy (gaining weight, hitting milestones etc) and I just don't think there is anything "wrong" with him...

OP posts:
winkywinkola · 16/11/2014 07:40

Some babies just don't sleep well.

They do eventually.

I would just stop talking about it.

If she brings it up again just shrug and say, "That's life with a baby/ toddler." and change the subject.

RandomMess · 16/11/2014 07:47

Little laugh "he clearly takes after his Dad in that department"

glenthebattleostrich · 16/11/2014 07:52

DD is 4.7 years old and doesn't sleep, some kids don't, I didn't until I was 9!

And try nurofen for teething, we found it much better. If its really bad you can alternate nurofen and paracetamol every couple of hours.

IUseAnyName · 03/04/2015 16:28

I don't think many breastfed 5 month olds sleep through the night. It's completely normal and no point fighting it x

Alpies · 06/03/2016 00:17

I would just say it's part and parcel of being a baby at this age. My DD1 didn't sleep thru until she was a year old. I breastfed her for 8 months then we moved to formula and she still woke up during the night. Some MILs always find a way to criticise and point the finger. I think they have forgotten what it was truly like for them back then as it was so long ago.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread