Am I right to be cross or is mother in law right?!

[mylifemykids]

Before I start, I know my son is not G&T but thought there may be people here who can advise!!

My eldest DC (3years 9mths) has just started reading. He has always been 'academic' in that he's wanted to learn about letters, numbers, science type things etc.

However, when we were at my mother in law's house today, he asked me to write him a list of words for him to read which I did and he read the lot. But then mother in law (instead of encouraging him and giving him any praise at all) told me I 'shouldn't encourage him' with his reading. According to her he will get bored once he starts at school (he's in school attached nursery ATM) and will then FAIL at everything because he will lose concentration.

He loves to read (OK not novels but he's doing well with phonic 'reading' books) so why should I stop him doing what he likes doing?!

Am I right to be annoyed or have other parents had experience with this sort of thing and think she's right?

Encvourage him. I could read long before I went to school (learnt from my bossy elder sister) and it did me no harm at all. Was I bored? Occasionally, but I entertained myself by building up a vocabulary that has stood me in good stead all my life.

I taught for many years and was always astounded at students who had never discovered the sheer joy of reading stories or the empowerment that comes from being able to find stuff out all by yourself.

Just thought I'd update this to say I've spoken to the nursery teacher. She was very helpful and is speaking the the reception class teacher about giving him some material to help him along further. She did tell me that they do Jolly Phonics so I'd be best to get some of the Jolly Phonics stuff (ELC have some I can get)...although personally I think the JP looks absolutely ridiculous! I'm willing to give it a go if it helps DS though!

Thanks for the advice

My ds was very much like this too - he learnt at 2 / 3 when dd was in Reception picking it up as she did.

Now at just 6 (Yr 1) he reads chapter books, lots of non fiction and has a tremendous general knowledge garnered from being able to read.

DO NOT stop him reading just keep going, make it fun and give him the resources, and as far as you can choose a school that will not 'penalise' him for being able to read when he starts - my dc's first school did exactly that and refused to give him appropriate books but we moved them and it took them 2 weeks to get his proper level and gradually move him on from there

As you say, if it was 'non academic' you would not be discouranged - whoever heard anyone say 'do not teach him to swim / play football before he starts school in case you do it the wrong way' !

Good luck and have fun - there are lots of books at The Book People and for Phonic books I found Jelly & Bean are great for his age group

he wouldn't read if he didn't want to at that age! carry on children are like sponges at that age and will enjoy fun learning very much! Just agree with her and do your own thing!
It is all about fun and quality time you will know when he has had enough.

Take no notice of your MIL.

My DS started reading and writing at a similar age and entered reception being able to do both quite competently. His teacher said he was easily at a standard of a lot of Yr 2 children.

All it meant was that he didn't do all the very basic learning to read and write stuff that the others did and just went straight on to reading the colour coded reading scheme books that they seem to have in all primary schools.

His teacher didn't really bat an eyelid (I suppose it had made her job easier as far as he was concerned!) and she just said that we'd let him work through the reading scheme books at his own pace. He's finished them by the end of Yr 1 and went onto "free reading" then.

It is important though to make sure that they understand what they are reading. Just because they can sound out the words it doesn't mean that they are reading if you know what I mean. Reading is about more than just recognising sounds and using phonic patterns to sound out words correctly. It's about using punctuation correctly and understanding and comprehending what the words are telling you too.

I'd say if he enjoys reading let him do it - in my expereince it will probabaly come to a point where he may tire of it and want to do other things. My DS was very academically oriented as a pre schooler (all of his own accord) but once he got to about Yr 2 he seemed to go off on another tangent ad become more of what I'd call a normal kid.

He's 8 now and a right little slacker - it's murder trying to get him to do his homework and he says he hates anything that involves too much writing! It's lucky that he's quite bright, like a lot of his peers, and I'm sure his early advances didn't do him any harm at all - quite the contrary in fact.

Tell your MIL to mind her own.