Special needs or gifted and talented?

[claw3]

Hi everyone

My 4 year old son is currently seeing an OCT and she thinks he may have SPD, because he basically has some heightened senses. She has also commented that she thinks he may be gifted. He also has a speech delay ie saying some physical sounds probably caused from being deaf for a year with fluid in his ear.

Is it common for gifted children to have sensory difficulties or speech delays?

Is it possible to have special needs, but also be gifted?

Id be grateful for any advice or experiences

Tiggi - my ds is very affectionate to both myself and others, as long as its on his terms, when he wants to

Both of mine are affectionate to Tiggiwinkle.

Dd1 has a huge imagination, she has a invisable blue scooter that she scoots around on, i offered to buy her a real one but she said 'no thankyou, i prefere my blue one).

Dd1 only has 50% of the AS traits, she's a very fussy eater and is living on a diet of chips and cheese sandwiches at the momment, she's doing well at school but crys alot (over sensitive), most of her freinds are a year above her and she has one boy friend who reads with her (i suspect he may be AS too).

The autistic spectrum is so huge and each child has different traits.

Thanks ladies, its been interesting and informative.

Must dash GP appointment, taking blood test today to check on anemia, not looking forward to it!!

Oh yes claw-everyone has to abide by the rules!

I just remembered there is another reason he does not have school dinners. He cannot stand the smell (another heightened sense!)

The "packed lunches" can eat in a different place or outside. If for any reason he has to eat in with the school dinners, he eats very little because he is put off by the smell.

I did actually try him with school dinners for the first term but I suspect he ate virtually nothing.(We did not know he had AS then). The trouble is he has very little appetite and would quite happily go all day without food, so would prefer to go without than eat something he did not like.

Just a thought re. the aneamia-it might be worth getting him checked for coeliacs. It is one of the main signs in children.

christywisty dyslexia is a gift. They are very intelligent!

Morning Tiggi, they didnt take any blood, have to go to the hospital, why they couldnt have told me that, i dont know!! I think the anemia is caused by his diet, he doesnt eat any meat or anything that contains iron, but i will mention it to them.

Also a few of you have been saying that your children dont show the obvious signs of aspergers. What made the specialist/yourself think it was aspergers?

I only ask as there are a number of disorders showing the same signs, what were the red flags for you guys?

To answer your initial question, oh yes you can have special needs and be gifted. The difficulty for us (which it sounds like you are struggling with too) is trying to sort out which bit is "really" ds - so, are ds's problems caused by his being bright? OR is his brightness a totally separate thing & helps him compensate for his problems, which otherwise would be worse?

I don't think we'll ever know. You just have to sort of bounce between the extremes and stay brave.

claw3 a lot of your ds's behaviour sounds like my ds other than the limited eating. I have always assumed his behaviour is that of a bright but typical 4 yr old. He has an imaginery family (mum and dad and child) who he talks with (and uses different voices for when they are apparently talking to him). Includes taking imaginery family on trips (and strapping child in imaginery car seat) or waving at them as they drive past! Friendly and sociable on his terms (what 4 yr old isn't?). No one has ever queried whether he has SN although he doesn't seem to have heightened senses so I assume that must be different from your ds.

Bink - You have hit the nail on the head, thats exactly it!

Does his brightness make him a bit 'quirky' or is there an underlying problem causing his 'quirkness' or 'brightness'.

Everything they have suspected him of having, he doesnt tick all the boxes, in fact more boxes are unticked, so im assuming that rules it out.

OCT has also suggested that being in SCBU for 12 days at birth, could be the cause of his senses being heightened. Being deprived of all contact at a critical age, leads to defensiveness. Even more confused now!!

Mollie - His eating goes way beyond fussy or picky. TBH this was my only concern, mentioned it to the HV and its all kinda snowballed from there really.

I usually hate labels being put on kids, but im really struggling with how much of this is 'normal' behaviour for a 4 year old and how much is an actual problem. Not really searching for a label, just some understanding.

I doubt the SCBU thing, really - if it was so much of a culprit you'd hear about it lots more - many many babies have a time (and a much longer time) in SCBU, and don't all end up with sensory difficulties. Also it's a bit much to say SCBU = "deprived of all contact" - I had nieces in SCBU for 3 months, and yes you had to be very careful with them, but they definitely had lots of loving contact, both with parents and (absolutely not to be overlooked) nursing staff. I do hope OCT hasn't made you feel guilty!

I've said this to someone else recently on here - with an inconclusive box-tick child, you live in a world of "now you see it, now you don't", and you just have to inform yourself as much as possible and decide your own path through it all, which is quite hard work. (Hence the staying brave.) Other parents/children facing similar challenges are essential though - I've found loads on here, and also in real life through a therapeutic school ds went to for a bit. But with the NYSINYD child, you're unlikely to find one which is exactly like yours ... so [repeats self] courage.

Bink - He had rhesus disease which caused severe jaundice, he was surrounded by lights, fed by tubes, arms splinted, naked and blindfolded. We couldnt get anywhere near him for contact, as the lights had to be on him 24/7. He also had his heel pricked every 3 hours day and night for 12 days.

The OCT was saying all babies are born defensive and by having human contact they learn to be less defensive. The first 2 weeks act as a kinda blue print for the future. The only contact he received during the first 2 weeks was unpleasant, tubes up his nose, tubes in his hands and painful heels. All the areas he is defensive of now. Apparently most of the children the OCT treats for SPD, started life in SCBU as prem babies! Im kinda past the blaming myself and others stage, but still brings tears to my eyes every time i think of it.

I know i think too much and perhaps should just leave it the experts, but dont have much faith in them im afraid

Finding this thread very interesting. Looking back on DD's childhood I can identify with a lot of this. I'd never heard of heightened senses, just saw it as quirkyness that every child has in their own way.

The texture of clothes etc, food issues (not resolved yet!) problems if things were done out of order etc.

Then again I'd never heard of G&T either. Sorry to butt in.

Alleve - butt away, the more the merrier!

Id never heard of heightened senses before either. Seems like nowdays all i do is read about the next suspected thing the experts throw at me!!

G&T is gifted and talented and apparently quite of few of these children have heightened senses, not quite sure if thats what causes their senses to be heightened or whether its the other way round!

Also my son is left handed which would indicate a different brain function!

My head hurts!!

The first I heard of G&T was when DD was put forward to NAGTY at secondary school. There was not a mention of it in Infants/Juniors. I read up on it and found the Dabrowski's literature and it rang many bells. Teachers also hinted that she may have some kind of disorder (if that's the right word) when she was 5, Possibly AS. I just ignored it at the time. This was 10 years ago though.

Will add that I wished I hadn't ignored the hints. It would have helped me to have had more info and I wouldn't have wasted so much energy trying to get her to behave the way most other children appeared to. Also I wouldn't have felt so alone throughtout those years.

Does that make sense.

Apparently AS, autism and SPD are often confused with each other and can also go hand in hand, although you can have one without the other, which doesnt help.

Makes perfect sense. I started off hating labels, but have come to realise that they can be of help being able to understand your childs behaviour.

I took my son to the hospital recently, asthma attack. Dr asking me any other medical problems. When i say he is anemic because he doesnt eat, its kinda what do you mean he doesnt eat, make him sit at the table and bloody eat you silly woman!! Being able to say one word SPD without an explanation would be so much easier.

How old is your DD now and how is she coping?

She's 14 now. Some food issues, although she eats a lot and has to eat at certain times without fail she will only eat limited foods so it's difficult planning meals. She look anemic which makes sense due to her diet.

She choses her own clothes but won't wear jumpers etc and hates wrapping up.

Doing very well at school. The only concern I have is that she doesn't quite fit in socially with her friends, although she is still popular with them, but they have moved into full blown teenagehood. It all goes over her head as she is a mini adult without the privileges of adulthood. I'm sure when she gets to 18 she will mix in a grown up environment.

If a label helps to understand and deal with behaviour appropriately then that will create and happy childhood for your DS. The amounts of times people told me to just make her to this do that etc. It left me feeling inadequate as a parent.

Its reassuring to hear that she is doing well. Up to the point of seeing the OCT, i always felt as if it must be something i was doing. Where did i go wrong!

Very much like your DD, my son doesnt quite 'fit in'. Other children avoid him because of his little quirks. Im a bit disappointed that nursery havent helped him in that respect. Still he will be leaving in January and hopefully school will be better. Have you had much help from the school?

I also have a 15 year old son, teenagers can be sensitive enough without any added problems.

My DD is 11 and has the heightened senses, but thankfully not enough to make it an issue.
Optician says her eyes are very sensitive to light, she is alway touching and feeling things, she takes my worn night clothes to bed with her because of the smell and the feel of them.
She choses clothes because of the feel rather than the look of them.
She doesn't like strong tastes so most spicy food is out.

She loves the theatre but will have her hands over her ears for the beginning because she worries about the noise.
She is quirky but has no social problems, Her teachers say is "superbly bright" and highly imaginative.

Chris - You are lucky with your DD. I think most of ds's quirks, he can live with, they are not too extreme.

My biggest concerns are eating and socially. I even started thinking the other day, he is very defensive over his mouth, how will he ever cope with a relationship and eating out when older!

She's fine in school and has a core of friends that she has known for years so its not a school problem. Just doesn't want to mix with them outside of school. She doesn't see the point in just hanging around to socialise. She will go to the cinema and shopping with them but that's all.

claw3 I'd doubt that being in SCBU would have caused those issues. My ds was 7 weeks prem and had what yours had and a whole host of other problems spending nearly a month in SCBU.

He had lots of painful procedures that he stopped crying when they did them. I was pleased when he had his first baby jabs and actually cried!

I reckon he must have been looked after by dozens of different doctors and nurses in that time and whilst there was a lot of time we couldn't hold him (ventilator etc) he had more attention than a normal newborn would have (at home with mum and dad and a few visitors). My ds is incredibly sociable and confident and I put that down completely to the time he spent in hospital with so many others.

claw3 I'd doubt that being in SCBU would have caused those issues. My ds was 7 weeks prem and had what yours had and a whole host of other problems spending nearly a month in SCBU.

He had lots of painful procedures that he stopped crying when they did them. I was pleased when he had his first baby jabs and actually cried!

I reckon he must have been looked after by dozens of different doctors and nurses in that time and whilst there was a lot of time we couldn't hold him (ventilator etc) he had more attention than a normal newborn would have (at home with mum and dad and a few visitors). My ds is incredibly sociable and confident and I put that down completely to the time he spent in hospital with so many others.