Need a bit of guidance in talking to teacher (and dd)

[OhYouBadBadKitten]

dd is very able academically. She is in YR3. The Junior school is separate from her old Infant school. Literacy is fine and handled well - she has been bringing in her own book since YR R. She is pretty good at making the most of writing assignments - she says that she can put in as much as she likes.

Its maths that has always been harder to get her stretched in. Her own teacher has admitted in a roundabout way that it is hard with the extreme range in her class. dd consistently gets full marks. they did some assessments last week and dd said that she had time to check her work 4 times.

She picks things up so quickly - wanted to know how to divide double digits into large numbers so I showed her long division. She understood it first time and had fun playing with it for 20 mins. I suspect though that many kids in her class would understand if they were shown so I'm not sure thats a good indicator.

dd was upset last night. She said that maths is boring so she tries to help other people in her class but they get cross cos they don't understand her (lol!)

She also says that showing workings out slows her down when she just knows the answers. She does show her workings out and is accurate with them, she just hates it when it seems pointless on what to her is very easy stuff.

Shes also becoming aware that she is different from others academically, she got upset last night that the other kids tell her she is the cleverest in the class - I do point out to her that everyone is different and has different talents but I'm not sure what else to say to her?

My main aim is to make sure that dd grows up well rounded socially and happily. However I don't want her getting bored and tearful and I'm concerned that she isnt actually learning how to think and puzzle things out in maths.

I've got a meeting on thursday with dds teacher to talk over all this but I'm not sure how to handle it, or the approach to take. I certainly don't want to come across as pushy or that I'm assuming that the teacher doesn't know what shes doing - I'm sure she does; dd certainly isn't unique. I'm just concerned about dd.

Any advice please?

Thank you procrastinating - your experience was an interesting one to read

DNMW - I hope the teasing does die down. dd announced that she is the 3rd least popular child in her class (based on how teams are picked!!) She says that its down to the fact that she doesnt like High School Musical!
I'll look into the greenfoot project it sounds good! dd does like programming her legomindstorms (with endless ridiculous loops!) I'll look at the grid thing too.

tomkitten, you've given me a lot to think about. I'm going to play it by ear tomorrow and see how we go.

OYBK - it sounds like that your DD would benefit from from sideways stretching (as it were ), but also the issues at school need to be dealt with by the school as she does spend 30 hrs there per week!

Surely they can differentiate without forging ahead to much - making the figures larger and trickier for example, or making it harder for her to 'find' the sum in the question iykwim? That way she won't feel so different from the other children as she will be doing the same 'topics', just in greater depth.

I agree that doing loads of work from upper years may not be helpful in the long run, but if the current teaching is actually turning her off and making her feel bad then the school aren't meeting her needs. Is there a school maths co-ordinator?
If not, can the school not collaborate with other schools, who each may have one or two children like your dd to cater for?

If she was fine, not being challenged, but happy enough, then I would say don't fret and challenge her outside school. If her time at school is undermining her love of maths and education, then you need to tackle it.

Good luck with the meeting.

I hope they can sort something out. I've been laid back about it this year as she has seemed happy and happy is far far more important to me than anything else but as its starting to slip I feel something does need to be done. I hope it won't make her feel any more different than any of the other kids in her class.

DNMW - you've created a monster!!! I introduced dd to the greenfoot project. She absolutely loves it I let her get on with it while I was making dinner and there was lots of 'this is cool' and 'this is fun' coming from the dining room. I need to do a crash course in java though to help her - she got a bit stuck creating her own world (trying to recreate her aquarium). I'm sure there must be a 'java for dummies' book.

nrich looks useful - thanks for that, backfire

hi...
my ds also yr 3, sounds really similar to your dd... he is bright all round but particularly good at Maths. School wasn't very helpful, so I send him to a tutor once a week, she basically does yr5 &6 maths and loads of mathematical problem solving. he loves it and it has been really worth the money.
Have you tried chess? ds started playing a couple of years ago and is really good. Completely wipes the floor with me We started learning together.
This week we got brain academy for the ds which he is also loving...
Other than that tbh I really push his football and karate as I don't want him to get bored with maths.
HTH's
(sorry it doesn't help you talk to school! whoops!)

Ingles I'm glad the tutor works well for your ds
We have tried chess - I should play more often with her.

Anyway an update after the meeting:

It went really well. Before I'd said anything about it her teacher told me that dds maths is exceptional, that she was well above the top group and had only dropped 2 marks in the assessments they'd just done (I think they were YR3 sats?) and they were silly mistakes.

Theyve identified 1 or 2 other kids in each of the other two classes who are also very good at maths so they are going to pull them out as a group once a week and give them open ended maths to do - she said its some really creative exciting stuff Shes also given me some suggestions for dd for her to not follow the rules always but to not be scared of taking a chance with her work.

Talked about what I was doing at home with dd and teacher is fine with it - told me not to worry about the method as dd will understand any methods and it will give her more than one way of tackling things. Also happy for me to keep extending dds homework and making it more appropriate (I think I'll pop in for guidance when i get stuck for ideas)

She also had dds character spot on - says she does need to do more challenging stuff as she gets really upset when she gets something wrong - shes not learning how to deal with failure and takes it very personally.

As always its a work in progress but thank you for all your suggestions

Wow! your school sounds great kitten..I'm very jealous