Starting school as an advanced child

[Mummymegs]

Reaching out to connect with other parents of advanced kids. My 4 year old has just started reception class. She has a reading ability beyond her age (at least year 2 standard according to my retired teacher friend). She could pick any book from our bookshelf and read it herself, and her maths is very advanced too.
My question is how to get the school to recognise her abilities? Her nursery report mentioned she was academically advanced and I have told her teacher that she can read. She is only on week 2 of school so I know it takes time. Her first reading book is a picture book which I know is compulsory as part of the curriculum framework, but I just want her to be challenged. I feel a big responsibility as she has so much potential, so I want to do the right things.

Thank you! We are big library users so get new books weekly. She has shown an interest in languages so might look into that for her.
She already does a few more creative things like dance etc.
School has definitely been good to push her out of her comfort zone with social relationships.

Haha she definitely has all the opportunity to do that…and sometimes chooses to. But mainly she enjoys activities that involve sitting and focusing on a task. She would draw, paint and colour all day if she could!

DS is 4 and similarly advanced. We do Kumon (maths and English but I make him blend words which probably isn’t the kumon way) and I make him present and narrate back the stories he’s read or listened to me in his own words. We also practice presentation techniques to ensure he reads in an engaging way as I think storytelling is an important life skill. We still do the easy work set by school - blending is important- but sometimes afterwards I make him write a continuation of the story

Yes you are right! She is a pretty confident kid, although school has definitely pushed her out of her comfort zone. I’m sure she is learning new things at school everyday.

I would relax and let her settle into school. There's much more to be learned than maths and reading. Even within reading, fluency is only 1 skill there are other skills to develop here eg comprehension, vocabulary and inference

Thank you that’s great. These are all things we are working on at home too. Writing a continuation of the story is a great idea and will incorporate that :)

As far as I can remember reading at primary is not just about reading the words but about their general understanding- what do you think will happen next, how do you think they feel, why did they do that - so maybe do some comprehension work with her?

Thank you. I think that is definitely going to be our experience too. I agree that there are definitely limits in the current phonics scheme.
Yes she certainly has lots of learning in other areas to do!

Don't take this the wrong way, but there is a difference between a child between naturally gifted (ie very high IQ), and a bright child who is highly pushed and stimulated from a young age. Yours, through a combination of her parents and grandmother, is probably the latter.

She is very advanced now, as the others have not been pushed at home in the same way, but within a few years, this will even out to a certain extent as the others will catch up.

Personally (and I have been in this situation myself with my oldest), I would ignore the school for now, assume in this year she will just get the social side of things, and keep stretching her outside school.... all a teacher will do is give her extra reading and maths to do outside school, so by taking her to the library and buying her a Bond book you can stretch her as much as you like if you want to!

I would also sign her up for sports to keep her balanced between the mental and the physical.

With hyper focus and advanced maths/ language abilities it sounds like there might be some SEN going on. Speak to the teachers and see what they think after a few weeks.

Even if not, you don’t need teachers / society falling over themselves to weed your daughter out as special. Academic abilities really aren’t as important as many things that contribute to a happy life.

I was / am hyoerllexic - turns out I have ASD.

OP please ignore the people saying she’s got SEN or ASD - if she did then an above average reading ability would not be the only sign.

It sounds like she’s a bright and compliant child who has been actively taught at home.
I have two of those and trust me, it does even out as they progress in school (not that she will be average, more that other children will catch up). Also you don’t need to raise it with the teacher - they will identify it for themselves.

When DS was in reception he was expected to read the same school reading book every night for a week. We read it and discussed it one night and then read our own stuff the rest of the time. I would just write down the other books that he read in his reading diary, so the teacher could see.

It’s really common for kids to be ahead with reading but (a) it’s the easiest thing for parents to extend at home and (b) it’s a tiny part of reception, so not a big deal at all.

Also reception is exhausting for all children, so I wouldn’t rush to fill her time with extra activities - she needs downtime and time to play with her toys as well.

For books, obviously you can give her whatever you want at home. At school they're not just trying to push them to read, they're trying to make them feel comfortable, learn social skills, enjoy learning, feel happy in their new environment, etc, so choice of books will also reflect those outcomes.

As a parent you can and should give her more advanced books at home, if that's what she enjoys. I was a prodigiously early reader, my family weren't like yours though (i.e., involved with learning at home-I was self guided!), so I just picked books up wherever, and read, read, read. Easiest thing ever. All I did when I was a kid was read and I read books, in fact, that were years and years ahead of my age. I'm telling you this as it was a pleasure, easy to manage alongside the reading level at school that we were given (much lower), and that it just wasn't an issue.

Can't remember what I was set to read at school, but I know I didn't mind whatsoever as reading at home was my hobby.

When you say advanced maths what do you mean?

She does not need to be "challenged." So there is no need to wish for this. She is 4. School has lots to teach her and not necessarily academic things which clearly she will take in her stride. Let her enjoy it all.

My DS has just started year 1. Before he started Reception, he was reading and understanding books like Famous Five. His maths is amazing. DH showed him how to work out angles in a triangle and he does it in his head, he has been able to tell the time for a couple of years etc. He does my 8yos homework with her for fun.

In Reception we discovered that he didn't know the phonic diagraphs, so he quite enjoyed discovering that. He read the school books easily and then read his own books to himself. Ofsted says (I think) that they need to know all the phonics sounds in a book, so it was slowish to progress through. We used the books to work on his wider comprehension and spelling of words (seeing them helps him know how to spell, rather than directly testing).

Maths has been more of a problem. They are still working on numbers to 10 in Year 1. They extended him to 20, but it's still pretty boring for him. He can manipulate 4 digit numbers in his head and just 'knows' the smaller numbers. We are rolling with it for now (second child and had similar with the first, although not so pronounced) and giving him fun challenges at home. I think we will need to speak to the school again soon, as I worry he will be put off by being bored. My goal is less about extending him (I figure this will happen naturally) and more about keeping him interested and enjoying school.

I would just do nothing as long as she is enjoying going to school. My DS is 2 and probably fairly ‘advanced’ for his age e.g can write numbers, count objects, knows his letters but that is probably because I’m a teacher and we’ve naturally done these things and like others say as he goes up the school others will catch up and the gap will even out.
I’m not really sending DS for the academic side as I can teach him most stuff through primary and early secondary but I want him to enjoy it socially, make some friends, play outside with children, experience school life like assemblies and different types of lessons so I’m not looking for school to ‘push’ him particularly.

My daughter was the same and school completely ignored me and her nursery teacher telling them she could already read, and had good comprehension. They kept her on books with no words, or super simple books for far too long. It was annoying but we just carried on reading at home. Eventually they moved her on and she went through all the reading levels and was free reader by end of year 1. I get the frustration but sometimes you just have to be patient and let school do their process.

Also my daughter although bright, has not turned out to be some kind of genius because she could read at age 2. She just got her GCSEs, a range between grades 9 and 6 so good but not outstanding (eg a friend got all 9s). So just to warn you don't assume she's gifted, she may just be bright and have grasped things early.

I think people underestimate the early years education. The play side is so important, children really do learn so much through play and amongst peers. THE EYFS has been named with ‘foundation’ as it really is the building blocks to learning.

The teacher has probably around 30 children, they will challenge her in their own ways. School needs time to asses her. They will spot it. Let her experience life as a four year old in reception it can be so much fun for them. Education isn’t all formal and she has time to harness her intelligence.

Apparently i was reading the paper at three and i was ‘clever’ in primary school: asking for home work ( it wasn’t a thing then!) and whipping through our maths scheme but i definitely evened out at high school.

By all means carry on what you are doing at home as she loves it so much but allow school to do their thing… she’s still so young.

My eldest was like this. He's got a September birthday too and was also one of the oldest so it was perhaps even more pronounced than if he'd been just 4 when he started school. School were great. They had me in to talk about what they were doing with him and for a while he was in a special reading group and did some maths with an older year group. One of the teachers even got him to do a Y6 reading SATs in Y2 and he got a level 4 in the old grading.

By Y5/6 though he sort of levelled out and became 'normally' bright for his age, for what of a better expression. So lots of others working at the same level. He's just gone to uni this month, having done well in his A levels but is no longer a genius 😁 just a bright, engaged young man.

I think as long as she is enjoying school and not bored I wouldn't worry too much. Good teachers will spot high ability and stretch children appropriately. At this stage of the year, a lot of reception is finding out what the children can do.

DS is doing English at uni so maybe all that early reading did have some impact though!

Being advanced in reading is common especially if children have been encouraged to read at home.

My DS started a foreign nursery/school at 3 and was bilingual by 5. We then returned to the UK when he was 10 and he had to switch back to English which was fine reading and grammar but was harder for writing and comprehension. However, even though he loved reading and was far advanced he did not enjoy the English Lit side of his studies all through school. He struggled to get a grade 7 in his GCSE in English Lit. He couldn’t wait to drop it for his A levels.

If your child is gifted I would try and teach them a foreign language asap.

DS was also following complete instructions and building Lego and mecano independently far beyond his age capabilities from an early age. Again his Dad loved buying massive Lego kits too so it was in his life from a very young age. Expensive, as some of these advanced Lego kits are hundreds and hundreds of pounds.

My advice is that if reading comes easy to your child challenge them with something else at home.

My child was a late August birthday in the UK so youngest in his class in the UK. He was a mid age baby abroad which I think also helped when he started school.

Slightly similar to my daughter as in once she learnt to read in reception which was really quick as in a few weeks - she was then on year 1 books after a couple of months as had read all reception stages

In year 1 she was on yr 2 books and like another poster said - would finish her work first and often help a little boy and girl in her class who have learning issues

Or could start writing her own stories etc

Now in yr 3

She is miles ahead in reading and still helps the ones who struggle with work

Which she likes doing but if she didn't I would mention to her teacher

I don't think she is gifted as such but just enjoys reading and writing and maybe as I have read to her every day of her life as I love reading

Cautionary tale. This was my DD. She became defined at school as "the smart one". Sent to all the STEM programmes for G&T children put up a year (not in the UK). Ffwd to high school. Guess what - she was still very capable but crippled with performance anxiety and emotionally scarred by the early pigeon hole of G&T. You should not, in my opinion say a single word. The teacher will know she is bright and hopefully accommodate. If not, wait for the first parent teacher meeting then bring it up.

4yr olds should be celebrated for being brave, for sharing, being kind, using their imagination and including others. Not for reading and maths.

Exactly.

www.coleridgeprimary.net/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/Inference-and-Comprehension-in-KS1.pdf

As others have said, please try to avoid labelling her as "gifted" or any other synonym of that. It creates a huge amount of pressure for her to live up to.

Just because she is currently ahead of some other kids in her reading and maths capabilities, there is no reliable guarantee that that will continue. They all develop at different rates.

My daughter started school unable to read despite my attempts to teach her using phonics - she is moderately dyslexic so it didn't work for her. After a year or so she taught herself to read (more or less - I do exaggerate slightly) using word recognition, and now doing REALLY well in some academic disciplines - she reliably comes top of her year group in end of year English exams at her highly selective secondary school.... But, she's still not great at maths and terrible at PE, so would I say overall she is "gifted"? No more than any other child.

They all turn out to have their talents and their struggle areas, and my real point is, it's hard to predict what these will be at 4, when they are still changing and developing all the time.

If your daughter starts to feel you take pride in her accomplishments and the fact that she is ahead of others, she may then feel she lets you down if this state of affairs doesn't continue....

Nurture her interests and talents and also help her improve in the things she finds harder. And enjoy this precious time - it goes so quickly.

And I hope none of this sounds harsh. It's absolutely clear you love her and want to do the right thing for her. My personal opinion is that the right thing right now is to take your foot right off the gas pedal, and don't worry about "stretching" - she is years away from the point where it can become a concern (with kids getting bored in class by a limited curriculum and acting out). At her age, everything is new, and she won't be bored by it!