Son is bright

[Rizzoli123]

I have a 6 year old son.

He is in a private school. The school test them every term to see if they are hitting targets in Spag, maths, reading, writing and comphrension.

He is hitting all his targets in fact he is excelling in all aeras. He started year 2 in September and by the end of October he was already hitting his end of year targets. His reading age is 9ys and 7 months. He is 6 in March.

My question is what do I do to support him and further his learning so he dosent get bored in class. Teacher is giving him extension work but he still has to do the year 2 syllabus obviously.

I know he is bright but when at home all he wants do is sit in front of TV. I get he is working hard at school but i want him 4o do a little more and learn at home and as well as school. We have the 11 plus books (teacher recommended) and he has answered some questions.

Also could I get a child mensa test?

I was the bright child at school. Very bright indeed. I am of course proud of my accomplishments but it has downsides and strangely I wish I was average back then. The reason? Throughout my life, it has been important to me to be right and “to know”. It has been a hindrance in contributing to meetings and generally how I see and judge myself.

My son is very bright, brighter than I was at his age. I try my hardest to not make it a “thing” (maybe not as successfully as I would like). I just don’t want him to see his value and his worth based on how intelligent he is. I want him to know his very existence is good enough and no matter his brightness or lack thereof, he is good enough.

Let your son be. Support him but don’t make a huge deal out of this. When he is an adult he can find his way to Mensa.

Keep challenging the school about how they are keeping him engaged and reaching his full potential. I have a similar child in a state school, it's very frustrating for me and her that she can only do extension work and not go above curriculum level. I was under the impression this wouldn't be a problem in a private school. I can do what I can to give her a varied a experience of being a child outside if school , but it doesn't help her when she has to go over the same things at school because all but a few of her classmates are still reaching curriculum level.

Hi op. It was clear when my da was in nursery that he was very bright. I (now shame facedly!) remember bringing it up at the first parent's evening when he got to reception. They barely knew his name and there I was expecting some sort of special plan for him asap. Anyway, the teacher's reaction stuck with me and the way I thought about it changed. From then on I just let it be, obviously made sure he was doing his home work etc and that he had books to read but I didn't think of him anymore as being bright and needing to "do something" about it. He's just been a regular kid. He's now gone into year 7 and his new school have picked up on it and he's on a gifted and talented register. I'm glad I changed my tune when he was in reception and just let him be. Obviously in the end of turned out that he remained ahead of his class academically but without any pressure from anyone.

Why do they even have this topic?

Every person who writes about their "gifted child" just gets piled on.

Amusing to read though

@hilariousnamehere

He's six. Let him be six. He's clearly doing very well at school so let his down time be just that - just because he's bright doesn't mean he needs to be learning all the time at high level. Let him play, muck about, experiment with stuff, watch TV if he wants - he's six years old.

This. So much this. Even clever kids are still just kids.

I would focus on getting him to do things outside of his comfort zone, and not necessarily academic things. Physical activity, creative subjects, anything that stretches him outside his comfort zone and develops resilience and perseverance. I don't mean in a totally spartan dump him on a hillside though, something enjoyable but challenging.

One potential difficulty with an able child is that they find academic work very easy so never really have to try. At some point though their intelligence can't carry them through a challenge and at that point hard work and perseverance have to take over. It is much easier - and with fewer repercussions, to learn that when you are six or seven than when you are 16 or 17 and GCSEs or A levels are the first things you have found difficult. Or worse when you have left home and doing an undergraduate/ postgraduate and you have never faced failure/ need to persevere before.

Our education system is fairly linear so unless you plan to home Ed and do GCSEs at home at 12 then off to Oxbridge at 14 with a parent in tow then there is little advantage in going too far ahead of the curriculum. For example in maths we didn't do anything at home to accelerate because when he came across the concept in class he would get it in the first ten minutes anyway and then the class would still spend the next four days going over it until the majority understood.

We felt it was more important that he developed his ability to relate to peers than cram either alone or be the child in the class always saying what their tutor has taught them. For most of primary he was able to find things to occupy him if bored, which in itself is a skill. As is learning to explain things to others. We did seek out a fairly challenging secondary school which seems to challenge him appropriately.

Absolutely, I would go clarinet. Don’t be tempted by piano. A piano is a solo instrument. If he plays an orchestral instrument he has a social life right through school at least.

In most Year 2 classes there would be a group of children with a similar or higher reading age/ ability so I’m sure the teachers will be able to challenge him. If he is just watching tv at home I would encourage some extra curricular activities.

Our son is 12 and we've been told since he was 8 that he is gifted by his last 3 teachers.
He excels in all topics and is constantly ahead of where he needs to be.
We just let him be when he gets home.
He is now at High School so we'll see where things go over the next few years.
Altho gifted he struggles with his shoe laces and this years task was to teach him how to make toast ! (We're not there yet)

Let the poor kid be a kid. Probably a good idea to limit tv watching during the week and encourage creative play and/or outdoor play or fun books to read. DO NOT make him do more school work or he will grow to hate it. That doesn't mean that he can't choose to do academics, but just don't push it.
I come from a family full of geniuses...not a brag...just a fact (none of us have ever bothered to join MENSA, by the way). Some have been very academically successful and some not so much and some downright abysmal in school.

My dd has pretty bad dyslexia, but tested as highly gifted and skipped multiple grades and is in her 3rd year of uni at 19, but I never pushed her to do rote academics and only encouraged an enjoyment of learning...whatever that might be (and with my dd it was definitely an esoteric journey)....(We're in the USA where things may be a bit more flexible than in the UK). Her last two years of high school she took all her academic classes (plus auto mechanics) at the local community college. Her first year at uni she took all electives in subjects she liked (Anthropology of Witchcraft, Anthropology of Food Culture, Fashion Design and Philosophy). The next semester she took off from uni to go to an audio engineering school to learn how to make music beats and then the following semester she went to a higher level uni and took all upper division philosophy and biology courses. Now she's planning to get a masters because Lana Del Rey didn't..... My ds was so disillusioned with school that he never finished high school and will almost certainly never go to Uni, yet he's probably one of the smartest and most gifted kids you'll ever meet.

justwondering21 my ds was building computers at least 6 years before he learned how to tie his shoelaces...

@SofiaAmes that's funny!
Myself and my husband have both been in disbelief when the teachers tell us how gifted and academically bright our son is and we think of how he manages day to day tasks at home.
We have constantly just let him be a child at home. Playing online. Out with friends. He has been able to build full Lego sets since he was about 5.
I think the next few years will be interesting to see where his interest goes academically.

@Mybalconyiscracking

Absolutely, I would go clarinet. Don’t be tempted by piano. A piano is a solo instrument. If he plays an orchestral instrument he has a social life right through school at least.

Only if you plan on being a solo concert pianist. Ds school has bands with keyboards etc yes well aware paino and keyboards are different instruments there are folk bands, jazz bands, pop bands. If there isn't a band for your style then there is support for you to start a new band. It isn't all just solo stuff or orchestras, as long as you are prepared to let your child step outside classical pieces. I would go with the instrument the child likes the sound of and wants to learn.

I went to Oxbridge from a state school and I have a 5yo in state reception class who is reading entire chapter books to herself. So I know what I'm talking about.

Stop with the pressure, enjoy him for who he is, don't always think about who he will be in future. You're wishing his childhood away like that. Prioritise emotional health and fun over academic stuff. Most of all, give him something to fail at (a hobby or activity) and teach him that it's ok to get things wrong and struggle to find a solution.

Being a resilient, rounded and confident person is much more important than reading age, exam results etc.

And he just wants to watch TV after school because he's been learning all day and being in a class/at school is exhausting. Why would he want more of the same? Have a bit of telly then a nice relaxing activity like drawing or something. You don't need to drill him 24/7.

@WasgijGods

Reading age of 9 at nearly 6yo is bright, but not mensa bright. He's an able, but normal, kid. Let him find his love of learning through play, trips out, reading and normal kid stuff.

Agree and it depends on the assessment. We test children using two different assessments and the reading ages vary vastly between the two. I wouldn't pin everything on this. It's bright, but not uncommon.

@Thissucksmonkeynuts

Keep challenging the school about how they are keeping him engaged and reaching his full potential. I have a similar child in a state school, it's very frustrating for me and her that she can only do extension work and not go above curriculum level. I was under the impression this wouldn't be a problem in a private school. I can do what I can to give her a varied a experience of being a child outside if school , but it doesn't help her when she has to go over the same things at school because all but a few of her classmates are still reaching curriculum level.

Her work should be differentiated. However, if she is going over the same things, it's probably because she lacks depth in certain concepts. There's no point in pushing children forward if they don't fully understand what they are learning.

Limit the tv.

Spend time reading with him. Every evening give his bedtime at least 30-45 minutes where you lie next to him and read to him and allow him to join in, read as well, feedback, etc. Get him reading on his own.

You will have the problem we all face nowadays with screens. We have to make a very conscious choice to limit or avoid the screens in order to foster the little flower of fledgling reading.

Reading, and developing that internal world of imagination is key to intellectual development.

I think that, and spending time setting him off and getting him into other things like model building such as Lego.

The best tool you have is your own conversation with him. Pitch it always to stretch him slightly. And feed into his general knowledge all the time. And raise/challenge his awareness of language.

As others have said, you don't want to push ahead with anything he'll do in school, that will just make lessons even more boring for him. He'd obviously a capable reader, but how much does he read outside school, and how broadly? Do you still read daily, even though he's obviously very capable you can still support with vocabulary / comprehension skills? Our local library has a good selection of non fiction for example, which I do with DS instead of his pretty awful school reading books.

The website nrich has some good ideas for challenging maths activities, which you could pick up in the school holidays.

We have a LO who is quite similar but we've purposely tried not to force reading, academics etc when at home, unless it's homework. We concentrate on getting the LO outside playing football, running around, playing with friends and enjoying the outdoors (as LO tends to want to be indoors). Just want to make sure LO is appreciative of the 'other stuff' that is not necessarily in the education space. As many posts have said, let your LO be little - be proud that your little boy is intelligent but don't push it. They get pushed very hard at school (private schools tend to push harder (IMHO) so let him relax and do what he wants to do when he has his downtime. He's probably so tired after a busy day/term at school, I don't blame him for wanting to not do anything when he gets home! Good luck!

Follow his interests. I have a very bright 16 year old and we have never tried to push the academic but have always encouraged his interests and introduced him to lots of things so he could find what interested him. This has involved music, sport and philosophy over the years. Philosophy for children is very good for bright kids as it encourages their thinking.

Agree with pp about letting him ‘be’. He is only 5 and unless he is bored witless in class I would be keeping him Away from the 11+ Prep material . There’s no need for it. He’ll be covering for anyway when he needs to prep for the 11+. Academically I would be encouraging solo project work linked to class topic , at a deeper or higher level . More importantly I would be making sure he has opportunities to socialise beyond his class of 14, through music or sport or whatever takes his interest. He needs to develop an identity beyond supremely clever child. All the pp points about children needing to learn how to persevere through tasks they find challenging are very well made.

What does the school say?

If he's 6 or 7 with a reading age of 9, that's not super bright. My daughter had a reading age of 11/12 at age 6. Not super bright. Although she is clever and doing a PHD now .....at the normal PHD age (22)

Just let your child live normally

@minipiethere are 14 in the class including him each with varying ability levels. We chose this route as we knew he was bright and thought that he would be better supported

This might be the problem with only 14 in the class, he may not have a peer if he is in the top achieving 5% of the population. He'd do better in a 3 form entry state s hook where there should be few DCs of similar ability. Of course if he is in the 0.1% you are going to have a problem anywhere.

I don't think you should give him more work to do.

Develop other skills - music, sport, drama. They all help develop academic skills but also social skills. But don't overload him. Just allow him to chill.

DD had really high CATS scores & reading age of 16.8 at age 11 and is never keen to do extra. She managed this having done barely any homework in primary school.

As a family when they were little we would do things like visit local museum, go to National Trust, go for walks to forest or beach & talk about things. We were member of zoo and for a while local science museum. So teaching them about things they wouldn't usually learn in school.