What to do with a gifted teen (100% in 11+)?

[silverflowers]

My dd is 14 and is very gifted but losing focus in school. She goes to a grammar school and got full marks in the entrance exam and has been in the gifted and talented scheme since she was old enough. She's predicted all 8s and 9s at gcse (straight a*s) and has always been in the top sets. But sincce starting gcse courses she's got bored because she knows she can turn up without revising and get 7s and 8s and was temporarily moved down a set whilst they tried to figure out how to motivate her.

I've got no idea what to do. She's in a school that is so pushy and academic it loses pupils to the more pastoral schools yet it's not pushy enough for her. I'm considering forking out for an extra gcse she can do online like an ou course to give her something? She's in so many sports but just loses focus in school and's stopped giving in homework. I don't know what to do with her?!

@NotTheWayISeeIt no I have two twins going into year 10 and a girl in year 9. both twins are very gifted and both have mental health problems, but one is severely struggling with hers at the moment, whereas the other is coping a lot better and looking at scholarships to private schools. I hope that's cleared it up a bit for you.

I know from personal experience how depression and anxiety can interfere with cognitive ability. I used to be the clever one (top scholarship) at Oxbridge and Ivy League institution but on a bad day and especially during an anxious period I would struggle to remember the name of our prime minister, let alone my own name. Please help her get medical and psychotherapeutical help first and make it clear to her that it really doesn't matter to you how well she performs (but support her as best as you can if high grades matter to her, especially if she has been working towards a dream uni course/career).

my dd got A* by turning up to lessons and doing the work asked of her. She did similar for A levels and she went to a comp. Maybe she isnt finding it as easy as you think so is pretending not to care!

I know this is a zombie thread but I have just found this board and was wondering how your DD is doing now.
My oldest was considered G&T at primary and got a 6 in her English SATS and 5 in Maths. She continued to do well early secondary and then lost it. She got in with some difficult friends and they all had mental health issues, were self harming and DD took an overdose. CAMHS saw her once and said it had been a spontaneous thing and she was not at risk of repeating it and signed her off.
Now she is sitting GCSEs and apart from germaan which she loves, she is only looking to scrape a pass in other subjects and was ungraded in 3 of her mocks.
I do think having a 'brilliant brain' at primary does not necessarily make you acedemic and she is angry that primary school set an expectation she could never live up to and ever since her teachers have been telling her she could do much better and her predicted grades are so much higher than she has been achieving. Eventually after 3 years of maths teachers saying she is not working to her potential and her saying she does not understand the lessons and them saying she is not concentrating etc etc, they agree to put her down to foundation maths and suddenly she is loving maths, growing in confidence and looking forward to the exam!! She can only get a max of level 5 but her mock was ungraded.

What activities does she do out of school? She sounds to me as though she needs something very physical to do. I would try to find a sport that needs skill and application as well as being physically demanding. Something like kayaking, canoeing, riding,

It will get her out in the open air, take her mind off studies, improve her mental health, tire her physically so she sleeps better, give her a new challenge, and if it happens a couple of times a week give her the incentive to work a bit harder to keep up with school expectations.

Sometimes what very bright children need is not more academic work, they need to broaden their viewpoint and learn to use their bodies as well as their brains.

So she performed very highly but now is getting bottom of the class marks and was dropped a set. Have you considered for a bit that maybe she has hit her peak? And maybe the pressure of being the top when she no longer is able to be the top is affecting her? Perhaps seeing a counsellor would be more useful that worrying too much about how many 7,8,9 she may or may not get.

The giftedness is central to all this. As I'm sure you know, gifted children have Special Educational Needs and are prone to many problems, as a result. We don't know whether this is just part of their make up or because of always being outcast and treated like their cognitive abilities don't exist / don't deserve to be recognised and worked with and thus they have built up frustration, or both. I hope this changes one day and they receive equal treatment as low ability children / gifted Sportspeople / those also with Special Needs but without giftedness etc. but fear it will only get worse. You/she is very much in a minority and will get more understanding and acceptance on gifted forums where people have sympathy and relevant advice. I wish all the best for your girl. Also, I hope the mental health person she sees really knows about giftedness and understands and empathises with this "curse" or she could end up in trouble.

Zombie thread!

I have taught quite a few students who got 100% in their 11+. They all did well in GCSEs but all but one was unexceptional by the time they got to A-levels and didn't manage straight A*s despite working hard. Like PP have said your priority needs to be her mental health not her GCSE grades. GCSEs are not intended to be particularly difficult exams - as they should be accessible for everyone (unlike A-levels and degrees which are done only by those who choose to). If you did want to challenge her of course not another GCSE do more in depth stuff - maths challenge, maths olympiad etc. Have books that interest her available etc. but don't push any of that stuff unless she's actually interested.

I know this is a zombie thread but for anyone who's interested dd now at uni where the sheer volume of knowledge needed for exams meant she actually did have to revise for her exams last year and she did get to grips with revision.

My daughter was in a mixed sixth form of what is an all boys super selective grammar school for years 7-11. When her boyfriend’s year group started in year 7, apparently the vast majority had full marks in the 11+ so while it’s a creditable achievement it’s not necessarily as exceptional as might be thought. Being good at taking tests (and often having parents well off enough to pay for private tutors for a couple of years) isn’t the be all and end all 🤷‍♀️

My son was like your daughter. Teachers would tear their hair out but it made no difference, he did what he wanted to do and was extremely laid back about it all. On the whole he found school boring with some exceptions but the school was good and bent over backwards to support him, which he just couldn't see.

I decided not to be overly invested and would support him regardless, eg if he wanted a year out, that would be fine. I knew he would end up doing something well. I didn't want him to feel he had to conform to what others expected of hm, he was an individual.

It's a lottery though, so much easier if a child knuckles down to school work and goes through the school system normally.

The op has my sympathy; do talk to your daughter and find out why she is not doing as well as she could - and how she feels about school in general.

Good luck.

(Mine ended up doing extremely well so there is hope for all.)