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Gifted and talented

Talk to other parents about parenting a gifted child on this forum.

Original poster

Does 'gifted' stay with a child?

28 replies

Mayhemmumma · 02/04/2018 21:05

My DD is a great pupil, loves school (yr1) and tries really hard. Has a good memory and concentrates well - all things I think help learning.

She's been on the school gifted list since reception, for writing and communication.

My question is whilst at pre-school and reception she got a lot of 'wow' reactions and was ahead of her peers, is it likely that her classmates will catch up with her and it'll even out? Will she maintain her 'gift' for writing or in other people's experience does it change?

She's very young. I have no complaints, she enjoys school so much and is learning new things- like athletics and French and has an impressive enthusiasm. Could it be that she's just a super keen learner and this may or may not continue?

OP posts:
Thistlebelle · 02/04/2018 21:12

Depends on the child I think. Some are ahead early and then everyone else catches up.

Others are average in primary school and soar in high school.

Some will be brightest in their school years but middle of the cohort at uni.

Some kids will just always be ahead of the pack wherever they are.

The important thing is to make sure that your child maintains a positive and enthusiastic attitude to learning regardless of where they sit in assessments.

SweetheartNeckline · 02/04/2018 21:13

My DD is also in Y1 and g&t for reading, phonics and maths. The teachers told me they review the g&t register every year and she may be taken off (or other subjects added). I believe the register allows the school to put in extra provision to ensure those most able are stretched and don't switch off from learning. Your daughter should, therefore, progress, but may not retain the same g&t status and the gap may narrow or diaappear if her peers catch up. Imo at primary school being "gifted" seems to mean being bright, engaged and well behaved - there is a big difference between that and being a prodigy or even mastering a skill!

I was g&t at school (I got to go on a special summer camp and everything) and am distinctly average now.

museumum · 02/04/2018 21:19

Not necessarily. I was outstandingly ahead in primary school. Top of the class in my non-selective secondary but not freakishly so, then pretty normal at my good uni (v hard subject). I’m not really gifted at all, just quite bright and very curious which matters a lot as a young child but less so as an adult.

Original poster
Mayhemmumma · 02/04/2018 21:19

That's helpful both of you, similar to my thoughts.
I was half concerned I wasn't doing enough to promote her abilities and half thinking, we praise her and talk to her about her school work and that feels enough. I'd far rather her continue to be an interested and engaged student then gifted and feeling pressurised.

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HeyRoly · 02/04/2018 21:19

It's interesting that some of you have "gifted" children in infant school. My DD's school (she's now Y1) are extremely tight lipped and refuse to even tell you whether your child is advanced / in the top class for phonics, etc. So I guess they don't even have a G&T register. I don't get it. I have never once received a single comment re. how advanced she is, even though I know she's doing well (I promise I'm not deluded Wink)

RoryHatesCoffee · 02/04/2018 21:21

This was me as a child. I worked so hard and was so keen. Then secondary school made me lazy as I thought I could do no work and get top marks in everything.
I'm certainly not as far above average these days as I was as a child so I think it evens out as people get older, but I'm still inherently lazy in my approach to work because I 'know' I don't have to work as hard as others to achieve the same result. It's not a trait I really like.

Original poster
Mayhemmumma · 02/04/2018 21:23

As I understand it she was the only one in her class to be added even though she has very bright class mates, some of whom are above her reading levels for example. The school wrote to me but otherwise don't mention it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mayhemmumma · 02/04/2018 21:25

I'm like that Rory and can get by with little effort. My DD amazes me because she always wants to learn more and try something extra, I don't have her enthusiasm or competitive nature at all! This is the 'gift' I hope she retains.

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JustRichmal · 03/04/2018 09:26

Teaching dd for a few mins here and there at home did help her stay ahead.

Naty1 · 03/04/2018 13:42

I think it depends on what their skills are. Also sept borns will seem brighter than they may be and August less than they are.
Learning to read is a particular skill which wont really be used again. But the memory etc used can be useful in learning other things.
Compliance is very valued at school.
School moves on from learning to read to comprehension and inference. Which i think are harder and creative writing.
But maths in secondary might be easier for some people who struggled with the basics and times tables as it's more interesting and not so much quick recall.
School is going to be a lot easier for people with really good memory.

Thistlebelle · 03/04/2018 13:52

Also sept borns will seem brighter than they may be and August less than they are.

Depending of where you live of course.

Those cut off dates aren’t valid in Scotland.

Arapaima · 03/04/2018 13:59

My DS was very bright in reception and on the G&T list. The deputy head told me that his reading at age 5 was 'phenomenal'! He's now 12 and is very good at maths but nothing special at English - doing fine but that's all.

Allthebestnamesareused · 03/04/2018 14:02

School g&t lists merely reflect the top 5% at that school usually. So when she goes to senior because there is usually a wider pool she may or may not be in the top 5%.

Also sometimes things do level out , especially when you get to secondary age.

DullAndOld · 03/04/2018 14:06

my son could read and write and tell the time before he went to school.
At six he taught himself the Greek alphabet and could write in it.

However a few years of teachers who just wanted him to shut up and stop asking questions put paid to that. The bullying didn't help either.

He left school with 6 C grade GCSEs. Mind you he did no work at all for them

SpringNowPlease2018 · 03/04/2018 14:07

OP "I don't have her enthusiasm or competitive nature at all! This is the 'gift' I hope she retains."

yes, I had this aged 11.

it vanished.

I don't say that to be churlish - just please don't be as angry with your DD as mine with were me if it goes away. And i think there's a fair amount of research showing it doesn't last. Sorry. But yes, please value her apart from this - it's scary to have people put you on lists because you're "gifted" etc.

I spent the whole of 20s & 30s being bitterly disappointed in myself and lack of earning power.

SluttyButty · 03/04/2018 14:16

It stayed with my daughter from year 1,she's now year 13. She was on it for English originally and still is now but other subjects were added. She's found it hard at times due to other girls in her year being very snippy with her because she's 'gifted'.

Original poster
Mayhemmumma · 03/04/2018 20:49

Oh gosh school is such a tough time for some , this does make me think.

I'm not pushy but I am now used to her exceeding in things I can see that I could come to expect that.

Personally the idea of a gifted child doesn't sit right with me, especially as she is only 6! Its lovely to see her doing well but I need to be fair in my expectations of her.

Thanks all.

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Ivebeenaroundtheblock · 03/04/2018 20:58

both my son and daughter who were i'd as gifted had times when they struggled. in the end both graduated from uni; one with distinction and one scraped by due to exam anxiety but in a field with more demanding subjects computer science.

JustRichmal · 04/04/2018 08:57

School is just one part of their education. What you do at home also makes a difference.

user789653241 · 05/04/2018 18:59

I think it depend on a child. If the child is truly exceptional, it will stay. If dc keep interested and pursue, it may stay.
My ds was ahead in both maths and literacy in ks1. He isn't so interested in literacy, so now in yr5, he is still good, but not as far ahead as used to be. On the other hand, his maths ability seems to be still strong, since he loves it and spend time learning all the time.

TulipFromAmsterdam · 05/04/2018 20:25

I was probably regarded as “gifted” in lower primary. I am a summer birthday, but they decided I needed to be in the year above. Honestly, although I have done well, I definitely peaked at 7 😊😊😊

Iceweasel · 07/04/2018 11:40

If they are actually gifted, as in high academic potential, then they will usually always be. This may not translate into high academic performance if their needs are not met, they are disengaged, or from a disadvantaged background.

Many 'gifted' kids at primary are middle class, bright, engaged kids with great parental involvement. Being older in the year group can also make a big difference in the early years. DC was in reading and maths groups with kids like this (then there was DC who was the youngest and somehow always managed to look like a Victorian street child). By year 2, many of the other kids had caught up and the 'gifted' kids were no longer ahead.

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 16/04/2018 11:58

Tbh I think you are born gifted and will die gifted. It’s not a childhood or school thing.

Twofishfingers · 19/04/2018 13:08

DS was not gifted in the early years/infants (he was on the SEN register for speech disorder) and his 'talent' only started showing in y3 and above. A lot of people, including some if his teachers, thought he was going to struggle academically, and nobody would have ever thought of saying that he as 'clever'. He is now in y6, top of the class in most things except PE, plays 3 musical instruments. Some children develop earlier and level out later, others have a slow start and progress quickly.

I can understand why people think that you are born gifted and stay gifted, but there are also many people who were gifted as children and because of pressure end up really struggling in their career as adults.

DairyisClosed · 19/04/2018 13:22

Usually at that age it is too early to tell unless the child is a prodigy. I know a lot of people who were considered thick or being assessed for learning difficulties at seven but ended up being geniuses. Likewise a lot of adults who were gifted /ahead at primary school ended up being average or even stupid.

Your DD has an advantage. Don't waste it. You can't rely on her being clever for ever. You should do your best to push her as far as you can without putting undue pursue on her.