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Gifted and talented

Talk to other parents about parenting a gifted child on this forum.

Original poster

Is there a link between children that are gifted and talented and Aspergers?

55 replies

Blossomhill · 07/11/2006 16:40

I am just wondering if there is such a link.

The majority of children I know with AS (including my own dd) are extremely bright and share some of the characteristics.

I am actually looking into G & T for my nearly 9 yr old but he doesn't fit any of the catergories except he is very sensitive but has lots of friends etc and definitely is not on the autistic spectrum. My ds is a high acheiever but everything else is the same as his peers.

OP posts:
BumMum · 08/11/2006 16:20

I agree soph28... I don't think there is such thing as a pure person.. we all tick boxes for autism,

Original poster
Blossomhill · 08/11/2006 17:13

bluejelly ~ you are quite right. Of course the 2 things don't always go hand in hand but I do think it is common that they do iyswim

As I said in my op my own ds could read at 5, great speech and memory but absolutely no way is he AS.

OP posts:
Original poster
Blossomhill · 08/11/2006 21:12

It is impossible to get hold of anyone at the NASGC. Just keeps ringing and ringing aggghhh

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Original poster
Blossomhill · 08/11/2006 21:13

Bummum ~ are you rummum?

OP posts:
BumMum · 08/11/2006 21:14

.... yep

Tutter · 08/11/2006 21:16

my mum suspects her sister has aspergers. she went to cambridge and got a first, but has never integrated into society very well - has never worked, never left her parent's home, has few/no friends. not able to converse about day to day stuff - only about kaiser wilhelm .

know very little about it myself though.

Original poster
Blossomhill · 08/11/2006 21:23

BM ~ love the name

We haven't "spoken" in ages. I had loads of problems with my pc so have a new email address and lost all my contacts

Hope all is well with you!

Tutter ~ do you know that is what upsets me is that dd will be alone.

OP posts:
Original poster
Blossomhill · 08/11/2006 21:25

Soph28 ~ not sure if I agree tbh that everyone is on the spectrum.

The way my dd struggles compared to other nt peers her age, it's hard to see any connection tbh and dd is on the mild end of the spectrum.

OP posts:
Tutter · 08/11/2006 21:26

sorry bh, didn't mean to upset you

it's undiagnosed

she might just be one of life's oddballs

Tutter · 08/11/2006 21:27

btw, she seems very happy with her lot

my mum is convinced that she (aunt) is in love with kaiser wilhelm. even though he's dead. he genuinely makes her happy

BumMum · 08/11/2006 21:29

Hi blossom...
I've had dodgy internet connection so I've not been online much.. but I'm on first name terms with the BT man
we're all well thanks.. hows your family...

bumrum

Original poster
Blossomhill · 08/11/2006 21:40

Tutter ~ oh no it's not your fault. Tbh my dd probably won't be like that as she is having so much input not. She is in a specialist unit attached to a ms school.
She really is such a gorgeous little thing. Had lots of friends at school and is generally doing well.
I know when she is older she probably won't want loads of mates but even if she has a few that she feels close to I'll be happy.

There is such a fineline between geeky, nerdy people and AS. Look at Eugene on BB he so obv. had AS. Still loling at him going on and on about the first aid kit and not noticing that everyone around him was yawning!

OP posts:
dinosaur · 08/11/2006 21:47

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

miggy · 08/11/2006 21:55

My DS sounds exactly like your moon66, esp the bit about routines ie doing something twice becomes a routine. He is gifted and has few friends, he isnt unfriendly just doesnt seem to have the drive to socialise. I have never pushed for a diagnosis but have read up a lot. He is also (im sure) dyspraxic. His motor skills are poor, his handwritting for example is dire and he tries to avoid shoelaces etc (he is 13) He def had oral dyspraxia as a child and had speech therapy. I do think there seems to be some association between being abnormally clever and having Aspergers traits.
I wish I had got a diagnosis earlier as we are now having social problems at school (not helped by him being accelerated a year, hence youngest). I think often the children that are really bright "cope" with the AS traits (if mild) and learn strategies to fit in. Ds for example knows that being obsessively worried about germs etc is abnormal and if he accidentally brushes his hand against an animal for example, will hold his hand subtely away from his body until he can slope off to wash his hands without anyone noticing (except me of course!)

waterfalls · 08/11/2006 21:55

I am waiting for a dx for ds, very likely to be aspergers, he is very gifted in a lot of areas, he has what I can only describe as a photographic memory, he scares the socks of me sometimes with the things he can do.

coppertop · 08/11/2006 22:24

Ds1 and ds2 are both very visual learners so tend to pick a lot of concepts up very quickly.

Does anyone else find that their ds/dd 'get' the more complex stuff almost straight away but can struggle with the easier things? Dh (AS) is the same. Give him complicated equations and he can work them out in no time. Ask him to add up some simple numbers and he's reaching for the calculator.

sphil · 08/11/2006 22:50

A lot of what has been said here fits my DS1 too. He's 5, very bright and has some mild AS and dyspraxic traits. He's become much more socially aware since being at school though and is definitely less eccentric there than he is at home. It's as if he's taught himself the social rules of school - with some help from us.
Miggy - I was interested in your comment about germs. DS has been obsessed with germs and hand-washing for about 6 months. Is this common to people with AS?

sorrell · 08/11/2006 22:51

Phobias are really common with Aspergers. My ds is afraid of all sorts of really odd things, like certain sounds or bits of music.

miggy · 08/11/2006 22:58

I think OCD traits are associated.
DS used to over hand wash a lot when that sort of age, especially if stressed about something else. But he has got better (or less obv about it )as he got older. Germs are still a big thing though, his younger siblings can make him scream and run away by threatening to touch him and saying they have touched an animal/horse pooh etc!

sphil · 08/11/2006 23:07

Oh, DS1 has got a thing about certain types of music. Whe he was 2 he couldn't watch a certain Tellytubbies video because it featured a little boy singing to his pet llama (!) and DS1 used to run to me and hide his head in my lap saying it made him feel 'funny'. He says that sad music makes him feel 'floppy and hot' and loud singing 'makes my heart beat really fast'.

We've tried to ignore the hand washing thing as much as poss, though I do throw in comments about good bacteria from time to time!

themoon66 · 09/11/2006 10:07

Miggy... interesting comment about your DS avoiding shoelaces. My DS has avoided buttons since he was about 18 months old. Now he's at secondary school, he is forced to wear a proper shirt. He tolerates this by wearing his school sweatshirt over the top and NEVER removing it... even in the summer when the temperature hit 38c!

My DS has also been put up to the next year for Maths and Latin. He never does an iota of homework, but still manages to acheive As in most subjects.

sphil · 09/11/2006 19:58

Well, this has turned into an opportune thread for me. Just come back from DS1's parents evening, where his teacher described him as 'exceptionally bright' but also talked about how he's been regaling them for two weeks with a complicated story about how he was a robot before he was born. She obviously thought it was quite strange - said he's been telling everyone, at length, unaware that the other kids aren't following his thread (or presumably that the teachers are bored stiff). He's told me this story at home too, but absolutely insists that it's not a story but really happened. He says things like "it's not from my imagination, Mummy, I didn't make it up. I remember it, I saw it happen." He gets quite upset if I try to suggest otherwise.

Anyone else had this experience? And what, if anything, should I do about it?

Bink · 10/11/2006 09:50

sphil - two issues here - (i) the distinction between reality & fiction and (ii) the bordering-on-obsessive imagination which makes up complete worlds.

We (that is, my ds (who's 7.5), who (I think?) we've already discussed as being somewhat like your ds1) don't really have issue (i) - but we have issue (ii) in spades. In my more laidback moments I think, well, the Brontes and Blake did this cosmomachia thing, so it's not so peculiar/alarming. Anyway.

Some of our ways to deal with this are:

  • a special book (the "Dreamland Notebook") where ds can unlimitedly write about all his ideas - this acts as a sort of filter and I also hope has beneficial side effects of helping him organise these ideas, which otherwise ramble and tangle;
  • trying to help him remember that if he wants to talk about, in his case, Dreamland, he has to try and make it comprehensible and interesting to others - simple things like not saying "in Dreamland the river barriers work like ...." but "I've imagined a new kind of river barrier, which might work like ..." He has picked this up well. I also try to get him to put jokes into his disquisitions; and
  • (idea from our nanny) encouraging him to take part in shared story creation - he does a sentence, dd does a sentence, she does a sentence - to sort of dilute the self-closed nature of his imaginings when left to himself.

Is that useful?

sphil · 10/11/2006 11:43

Those are great ideas Bink - thanks. We've definitely compared our sons before! DS1 already has a 'diary' in which he draws his creations and dictates stories to us (he can't write at length yet). When he dictates I try to get him to sort out his ideas by looking puzzled and saying things like 'I don't quite understand that bit, you need to explain x' . He gets quite frustrated though because he finds it difficult to explain things clearly. I guess it'll get easier for him when his ability to record his ideas catches up with his imagination - though I'm not sure it ever will!

Your son sounds as if he has an awareness of the listener - when did that develop do you think?

This morning DS1 told me that he's decided that the story about the robot had come out of his imagination after all - but I'm not sure if he's just looking for approval from me. He likes us to agree about things, so I have to be quite careful about even the slightest hint of implied criticism. I don't want to squash his imagination at all - far from it - but I also don't want him to get teased for being odd.

I think part of it is a mechanism for coping with school. He has a group of imaginary companions - his 'Disney friends' - who he absolutely insists are real (but invisible). When I asked him a few days ago if he was happy at school he told me that he was because his Disney friends protect him and give him the superpowers possessed by 'Tigerman' (his alter ego). He has a group of real friends, a best friend and even someone he's apparently going to marry (!) but he still seems to need these imaginary friends. He's a very gentle, placid boy and it's not hard to see why Tigerman is a good disguise in a playground that can be quite rough and tough.

How does your son cope at school?

themoon66 · 10/11/2006 12:08

Sphill... My DS used to talk about 'the time before, when I was girl'. He grew out of it by 5 or 6 years old.

Its lovely to find a thread where other people's children have such similar characteristics to my DS. I don't worry so much now I know there are others out there... hope they all meet up later in life